I will answer you directly. I think you need to be stronger. I think you need to respect yourself. Not settle for second best. Accept that your BF is not telling you what you want to hear, and that his actions are not congruent with R. He will let this drag on and so will you, neither of you really happy.
I don't know how you detach. I talk a good game because I see dysfunction and can tell you the right thing to do...but it is 1000x harder when it is your life.
So, hugs. This will play out in due time. If you are not ready to make a change, so be it. But keep figuring out what is your truth, your heart, your character and stay true to that.