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Newest Member: losingblindhope (44303)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: End of my first new beginning....
msk99
♂ Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After 4 months of my first new beginning, I decided to stop seeing this woman I met on match.com. Overall, it was a great experience, but she was wanting to move wayyyyy to fast for what I am comfortable with. Over the last couple weeks, she was putting lots of pressure to move in to her place ASAP, and I communicated that I thought it was way too soon for that to happen. Also, there was tension growing every time I left her place to go home for the night. She wanted me to sleep over all the time, and I just wasn't comfortable with doing it while her kids were around. I just felt really pressured and this just wasn't sitting right with me. I am very patient, she was extremely impatient.

So I went to her place last night and told her face to face that this wasn't working for me anymore, and that it was best we go our own separate ways. She was upset and a little angry, but that was what I was expecting. I wasn't going to charade around like everything was OK. She said that she wants to have someone with her 24/7, and she doesn't want to wait for that to happen. Additionally, her pending divorce has become extremely volatile, and I honestly see the potential for long-term ugliness between the two of them. Real ugly!!

So, I don't regret taking that first step into the dating pool, I think I'll just cool my jets at this point, and not rush into anything. That was the first woman I had ever "been with" aside from STBXWW, and that part of it was real enjoyable , but in the end I knew things weren't going to work out, so I ended it instead of dragging things along. Tough to do, I was sweating bullets before meeting her last night, but I think it was the right way to do it.

We'll see what happens in the future, but it was a new experience for me and I don't regret taking that dip.....

[This message edited by msk99 at 12:37 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
LastChanceLarry
♂ Member
Member # 37322
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like you did a fine job. You realized your relationship was headed in a direction you didn't want to follow and you were true to yourself and honest with SO. It sucks to break up with somebody, i'd almost rather be broken up with than be responsible for hurting someone else like that. Sounds like you let her down easy and did the right thing.

Glad you got to enjoy it while it lasted. Don't let this discourage you, it sounds like she was a bit too needy and looking to fill a void. Go ahead and put yourself out there again, there are plenty of folks looking to take things slow.

How has match.com been treating you? I've considered signing up once i'm ready to date again, i tend to have trouble meeting new people

~Larry


D-Day: 8/27/12
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
DS: 3
Together 5 years

Ding dong, the bitch is gone! Settling into the life of a single dad.


Posts: 317 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: New England
msk99
♂ Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For sure, I'd rather be broken up with as opposed to being the one to break things off, but in my mind, I had to do it. Match is good, the only OLD service I've used. The thing about OLD is that it's like walking into a bar and knowing every lady there is single (or "says" their single) and are looking to date. I went with match for no other reason than its a pay site and assume people there are a little more serious about connecting with someone. Not to say the other OLD services are bad.


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
Topic Posts: 3

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