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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Almost six years here and.....
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FRM! Good to see you. You've provided a lot of insight that has been very helpful to both my wife and I, especially early on. It sounds like things are going well for you and your family. You are a true testament of survival on this site. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience out here to help the rest of us out!

Posts: 6131 | Registered: Dec 2010
Fallen
♀ Member
Member # 4313
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FRM! So good to see you and to see that you're doing well. Yep, I know I probably whacked you a time or two back in the day... just paying it forward. Wonderful to see you- and you're an oldtimer now. Pretty amazing, isn't it, what we can accomplish when we want something bad enough.

Wishing you much happiness!


You can't heal what you won't feel.

"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."


Posts: 23477 | Registered: May 2004
ShellShockedSid
♀ Member
Member # 29068
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FM-- You were at about the 3.5 year mark when I found this site. I'm at that point now.

I read your posts faithfully. Almost single handedly, you proved to me that waywards can change, and aren't bad people in general. Something that my WH could not do because I could not be objective. When I looked at him, I couldn't see past the hurt. Reading your posts gave me objectivity that I couldn't find on my own.

After reading 2-3 of your posts, I remember thinking, "that is weird. This FWH actually has his $#!% together. How is that possible?!"

I want you to know that you are helping the BWs too. You helped me move forward when I felt stuck in mud.

Congrats on making it 6 years. And thank you.


BW: 46, me
FWH: 48
DDay: 1/22/2010
Reconciling.
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

Posts: 307 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Texas
HUFI-PUFI
♂ Member
Member # 25460
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((FRM))) Nice to see another llurker! You always had encouragement, insight and a good swing with the 2x4 ...


Donít listen to your head, itís easily confused. Donít listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

Posts: 3226 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Azilda, Northern Ontario
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now you almost made me cry...
no way!


FWW - 40
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5764 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi FRM!

You have such a unique delivery and perspective. Thank you for being such a great contributor to SI.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6092 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
burntashes
♀ Member
Member # 29446
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi FRM. Good to hear from you. You and many on SI have given me the support and wake up call I needed in the past few years, and I'm very thankful for the SI community. Sometimes an honest 2x4 is the best thing that can happen to a WS. The bold honesty delivered in kindness on SI is hard to find IRL. Thanks for sharing what you've learned to help others along.


Me: WW/MH 30s Him: 40s DD: 7 together 14 years, married 13
LTA
I confessed PA 6/10. Detailed confession: 9/10. All the truth 9/11.
Moved back together.

Posts: 352 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: California
FaithStricken
♀ Member
Member # 34080
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From the BS side, many of your posts have reflected genuine empathy and keen insight about the effects of betrayal for the BS. This helped me a lot in the beginning to let go of some of the anger to even begin thinking about reconcilation. Thank you for your time and energy to share your compassion and wisdom.

Posts: 85 | Registered: Dec 2011
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow.. Thanks everyone.

Fallen!!..I remember the whacks you gave me. Well I guess if I can swing 2x4's I better be able to take them..lol

HUFI!!!! The ever wise and intellectual one. I am honored to be lurking with you..lol.

burntashes and Faithstricken..When I offer advice, I am always surprised at how people say it helped them or changed their lives. I am honestly just sharing the truth of what I learned on my own and here at SI. I am very happy that the advice was helpful. One thing I have learned is that there is no one fix all cure all, but if the advice given can help fix just one thing or cure one thing..then that's progress.

AN..I admire you and LD. You two were one of the first couples that gave me courage to stay at fixing my own marriage.

Seriously..thank you everyone for all the warm comments


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
Joanh
♀ Member
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm new to this , and not sure where to go or what to do. Dealing what I've done is one of the deepest holes I've been in. Reading on this sight has given me some hope that life will be ok. Thank you


BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....

Posts: 386 | Registered: Apr 2013
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm new to this , and not sure where to go or what to do. Dealing what I've done is one of the deepest holes I've been in. Reading on this sight has given me some hope that life will be ok. Thank you

Joanh,

If you want you can post a little bit about your situation here on this thread or one of your own. I do not mind at all if you want to post it here..but I feel you will get better feedback and more advice if you started your own.

I and others will be more than happy to help you the best we can


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
Joanh
♀ Member
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, and i did, I appreciate all help from WS and BS , I want my M to work and not to screw it up more than what it is allready!


BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....

Posts: 386 | Registered: Apr 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

frm - I remember seeing your picture on one of the F&G threads and being completely blown away. In my mind, you were a wise old man. I got the wise part, but was a bit off the mark when I presumed your age.

Thank you for all you do here. You can see from all these responses that your words have helped people on all sides of that mountain.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24385 | Registered: Aug 2011
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


frm - I remember seeing your picture on one of the F&G threads and being completely blown away. In my mind, you were a wise old man. I got the wise part, but was a bit off the mark when I presumed your age.

NIK

I know..I know. Some people swear I know where the fountain of youth is here in Florida..I have to give credit to my parents for it though. My mom is 63 and looks 40


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the gifts of your time and thought. Thank you for helping me along in my own journey to healing!

During my BS anger phase I read in Wayward often, trying soooo hard to wrap my head around that which I could not understand! Your posts resonated with me and have helped form a pathway toward forgiveness.


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

refuz2bavictim,

Thank you for that. If I did anything, it was helping you do what you were already capable of.


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
She-Ra
♀ Member
Member # 36033
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey FRM, I'm glad that you are here to help all the WS with your golden 2x4. I recall being hit by one early on and I thought wow who does this guy think he is? Well I learned that youre Florida red man and that's how you roll. Any WS that can take a 2x4 by you and learn something will be better off.

Thanks for sticking around. We always need old timers to knock sense into newbies


FWW 33 BH 34
Met 9 yrs ago, together for 7, married for 3
Dday Aug 10, 2012
Beautiful daughter born June 2013

Showing signs of true R. I'm hopeful

The WW formerly known as messedupchick


Posts: 762 | Registered: Jul 2012
housenotahome
♀ Member
Member # 32423
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, May 1st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just like Refuz2bavictim, I read in wayward to gain some understanding. I read your profile 2 years ago and saw raw honesty and so much growth. You opened my eyes to what to what remorse and gratitude looked like. I saw a person who was capable of change and repair and it made me hopeful. Your wife sounds amazing and it takes one to know one. Thank you.


Me BS
Him WS
Married 10 years together 14
DDay Mar.2011
Mistake-Going through a stop sign because you didn't see it.
Poor choice-You saw the stop sign and went through it anyway.

Posts: 772 | Registered: Jun 2011
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey FRM, I'm glad that you are here to help all the WS with your golden 2x4.

golden 2x4??

I like it..
I know that I have made people angry sometimes with the way I approach things. I learned that the only way to help yourself and help others is with honesty. I just want people to know that I do care and it is done with compassion. Anger is an emotion that is used to mask or cover something else at times.
If I made someone angry..usually I struck a chord or I just was wrong and pissed them off


housenotahome

Thank you for your post. My wife is amazing. It was her forgiveness and love that helped form the man I am now.


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
isadora
♀ Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FRM,

Good post. I always learn something reading on the wayward side. Thankyou to you (and the other wise waywards) for setting the standard on what I should expect from my FWH.


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 10 yrs
4 children: DDs 6&4; DSs 2& baby
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4499 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Topic Posts: 44
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