What other sites have you been to looking for woman? What? I haven't been to any except Craigslist. She says in your mail you have date search, senior search, FB search for dating, Russian girls wanting husband
I replied are you in my Spam Mail
Wow. Reading this, I feel you are in total denial about your culpability. Also just want to say the spam box still tells a story. When I tried to find if my ex was on on dating sites, I signed up under an alias looking for the same age group, etc. that I thought he would be searching. Suddenly, when I went to sign in to my google or yahoo email, all the advertisements seemed to be aimed at "seeking Men" in my area, etc. I was so disconnected to that thought that I disregarded it for some time. Then I started to notice the connection between my searches and the advertisements that would populate my Yahoo home page/email account. Yes, some things are random, but I think you misunderstand the extent of your online presence and the data that is collected from your surfing, etc. In a nutshell, you don't get spam "Russian girls want husband" for no reason. And, you say you haven't been anywhere "but" Craigslist. Do you really understand Craigslist? What it represents and how it is used?
I hope you will take a few steps back if you are sincere in what you are trying to accomplish and take a good look at yourself. If this is all smoke and mirrors, I hope you do the right thing by definitively ending it with your wife so she can move on and find a life/happiness for herself.
[This message edited by positively4thst at 8:34 PM, April 26th (Friday)]
[This message edited by hurtmywife27 at 8:53 AM, April 27th (Saturday)]
That being said, those spam emails sent me for a loop too. You can have her send me a PM in order to confirm stuff she is finding and whether or not it is you or just spam.
Give her time and lots of hugs. Sounds like she is still at the point of digging. It will continue for quite some time. I am 10 months out and still check from time to time. The trust is coming back slowly but still not there.
And yes we cause ourselves more pain. But please realize that music, movies, tv shows, women, men, and any communication with the opposite sex will and can trigger us. Start looking through her eyes and just give her support....SHE NEEDS IT!!!
So she's most likely not going to let even the smallest *oddity* get by right now without bringing it up to you and asking about it. Expect questions anytime you're late, early, part your hair different, *start* a new activity, get dating spam in your email, take a phone call at an *off* time, watch a new TV show, etc.... It's just par for the course right now.
And realize that if you show even the smallest amount of exasperation or frustration about the questions, she will sense it and that attitude will make trust-building take just *that much* longer.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Show empathy and remorse. Stay open, honest and transparent. Importantly when she questions you and says she does not trust you say you understand and are truly sorry for hurting her and want her to trust and believe you.
MC has really helped us work through the anger and problems before, during and after the A. I strongly recommend MC.
Gotta love the life that we livin'
(I changed my tune.)
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 5:43 PM, April 29th (Monday)]
If you can't post respectfully in this forum, you will be removed from it.
"I'm happily indifferent to the ones who have consistently been wrong" ~kd lang~
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 6:27 PM, April 29th (Monday)]