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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Need to think before I act
Taurus517
♂ Member
Member # 37958
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, April 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once again I did something again I didn't think about. Something I thought was innocent was truly not. I responded to a female photographer at 2 am thru email about a photos hoot for myself. Not thinking it could have waited till the day I responded. My BS has been patient with me for past few months and I'm taking it for granted. I didn't think about it , this is was how it started when it lead to my A. So it definitely sit well with her because I didn't talk to her about it, I didn't let her know the next morning I emailed the photographer back, the words I used to describe my personality is the wrong words, and again it was not me thinking it thru before doing my actions. We talked about it and I know I'm at the wrong , I didn't think again !! I don't want to go back to who I was back then. Yes it's still me that did what I did during A and what lead to it, I just want to make changes to myself to be a better person and H. I really hate myself for the actions I did and once again I screwed up again for not thinking. So for everyone please think before you do your actions, one thought can go in many directions and if you sit and think about it and think of the results, that can make a big difference on what you end up doing.
I do love my W, I have been changing myself by reading and learning and I know there is still a long ways to go for me to fix what I have caused and the hurt I have put her thru. Please feedback is needed good or 2x4's, be like Pooh Bear and think think think think think. Like what my BS says "you have a brain, use it"


Me: WS 31
A : 17 months
Her : BS/WS 26 (ShockedErica11)
A: 3 months
DD : 3
Relationship : 4
Married : 2
DDay : November 2012
Her DDay : June 2013

Posts: 71 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Chamblee
Strawda
♂ Member
Member # 38766
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, April 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I completely understand doing without looking at the actions of others and the outcome cosses a lot problems. Other day I got into BS car to get my cell, Doing so without asking was crossing into her space hear safe area without asking. An yesterday I confronted her about seeing someone that wasn't to be at my moms house. But she didn't see the person as my mom sed she did. So again I asoomd and didn't ask if she saw the guy who shouldn't bin at my moms. An made her think I was talking to someone els cuss how I worded it. An freaked her out. BS calld me ask who I was talking to and almost left me. So Make sure your actions are good ones and you think first...


27male 1kid, Lost 6year relationship(Wanting to Reconsile with BS)

Posts: 51 | Registered: Mar 2013
Taurus517
♂ Member
Member # 37958
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, April 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Strawda thank you and yes there is alot of learning that has to happen with that.


Me: WS 31
A : 17 months
Her : BS/WS 26 (ShockedErica11)
A: 3 months
DD : 3
Relationship : 4
Married : 2
DDay : November 2012
Her DDay : June 2013

Posts: 71 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Chamblee
toasted22
♂ New Member
Member # 38954
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still new to this forum thing but I can relate to just the power of old habits. I have been told that it is like going to another country where they drive on the other side of the road. You just have to be super vigilant in everything little move until the new habits fully become your automatic behaviour.


Posts: 45 | Registered: Apr 2013
BrokenT
♀ New Member
Member # 39056
Exclaimation  Posted: 1:38 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish my husband considers thinking, he's actually repeating everything he used to do when he was having his affair (coming home late, hanging out with people I've never met or known, ignoring our son, becoming non-responsive unless it's sex of course) and do on and so forth. In fact, I'm wondering if once a cheater always a cheater is true right now!


BW 27
WH 33
Real Dday: May 22nd, 2013

Posts: 49 | Registered: Apr 2013
KBeguile
♂ Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In fact, I'm wondering if once a cheater always a cheater is true right now!

It's true in the sense of, "Once you were arrested and charged with a felony, you will always be a 'felon.'" It's not true in the sense of changing behavior. If it were impossible for a WS to reform, there wouldn't be a whole section of this website dedicated to Reconciliation. It is possible -- it's just something that both parties have to be willing and able to commit to.

Some WSes either can't or won't make that commitment. Some want to, but lack/need guidance and direction. There are other cases as well, but I just want to make certain you're not accusing us all of never wanting to change!


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 754 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
BrokenT
♀ New Member
Member # 39056
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KBeguile, no I'm just accusing my husband

I actually read a lot of posts here and lots of men are doing such a great work and strong efforts to get their wives love back. Good for u guys. May u all be granted love and happiness.


BW 27
WH 33
Real Dday: May 22nd, 2013

Posts: 49 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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