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Newest Member: Gladiator5 (45339)

Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wife left me for her new boss
Nutty1
♀ New Member
Member # 40971
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Praying u get the outcome u want today, been following ur story all the time I've been a member of SI. There are some truly fucked up people out there. Good luck & best wishes xxx

Posts: 31 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kent
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're probably well into it by now. Thinking of you, AAS. Will check in for updates.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
ForwardMotion
♂ Member
Member # 32608
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck AAS!


me - BH

'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'


Posts: 409 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Tejas
sailorgirl
♀ Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All her craziness and apparent motivation regarding her leaving, fighting me over everything, not communicating or negotiating which she said was as a result of our bad relationship and my fathering skills seems to have lost credibility now that she has gone and done this; which has nothing to do with me whatsoever.

Wise words, AAS. You were just supremely unlucky to marry a ticking time bomb. Now that she has detonated, it's a mess for everyone, and I am so glad for you that she will soon be your X.

I am thinking of you and your boys and hoping that the legal system will shield you three as much as possible from the post explosion radiation that still surrounds that woman.


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
Secrets Kept
♀ Member
Member # 40630
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is killing me!!

Thinking about you & how it is going in court for you!?!?!


Marriage #1=BW-46 (now)
XWH-Deceased on his 36 bday
Divorced in 1996
Marriage #2= Married in 2003
H-44
2 kids together-DS14 & DD12
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"

Posts: 218 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest USA
Daysie
♀ Member
Member # 38873
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have been thinking about you all day here at work.

Sending you lots of (((HUGS)))


Me BS 56
Him WH 56
M 36yrs
A 32yrs ago with my then BF
DD 1 / DS 1
Who is this man ??????


Posts: 85 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope all our positive vibes are working - you're in our thoughts.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sending strength brother.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2985 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
5yrsout
♀ Member
Member # 32109
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((AAS)))

Thinking of you and sending major SI MOJO !!


Now 7 Yrs Out - my prince is a frog
DD 5/15/2006

Posts: 774 | Registered: May 2011
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending positive vibes and strong mojo.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope everything goes well.

Posts: 1734 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
toomanyregrets
♂ Member
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there.
Everything will work out for you.


BH - 64
fWW - 60

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife


Posts: 484 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello Everyone,
Thanks so much for all your words of support. Today was non-stop and didn't get a spare minute to update you all.

Today went exactly as we all predicted. CSTBXWW would not concede anything at all. ZERO.
In fact, at the last minute she instructed her barrister to tell the court that she wanted to remove my overnight contact on Wednesday's but would allow alternate Wednesdays to be a 2 hour visit. This is her retaliation for me pointing out that if I am able to get them to school on Thursday mornings then there is no reason why I shouldn't have them on Sunday's.

Her barrister made a statement to the judge that she 'has already provided generous access to the children' at which point the judge came down on them hard for considering that she has the right to determine what is generous unilaterally.

The judge also made it clear that his preference was for both parents to reach an agreement as we are best placed to know what is right. A point aimed at her as I am already seeing them a minimal amount.

My barrister commented that her barrister acknowledged the asymmetry of the situation regarding contact durations and could not provide any evidence of rude and derogatory texts to support her claims. My barrister seems quite confident that this will all resolve itself in my favour, but not today.

Ultimately, CSTBXWW did not concede anything so the judge had no choice but to adjourn and order a contested hearing on the 10th February. (Ironically this is my D-day)
In the interim, the judge ignored her proposal for reducing contact and the status quo will be maintained. Child services have to visit our respective homes and see how the children interact with each of us.
I also have to produce a statement as to why the children will benefit from being with me more whilst also trying to get across that her credibility is in doubt due to the lies.

In summary, everyone except her could see that she has a weak case, she didn't get her interim residency order or reduction in contact and she conceded many more days over Christmas than she wanted to.

I think that my magnanimous offer on September 4th of giving her Christmas day and which went unanswered, forced her to be seen as amiable and as a result she has Christmas eve and day but I have most of the other days.

I never expected her to roll over but I did hope that the barristers would have been able to talk sense into her. She remained firm.

Oddly, she wore a very tight and very short dress, black tights and heels and looked inappropriate. As a result I saw her as someone trying to look younger and sexier but ended up looking hard and promiscuous. She didn't look like a mum.
Gru stayed in their consulting room so I didn't see him.

I see her position as one of wanting to eradicate me from her life so she can get on and play happy families with her new man, her unborn bastard and my two children.

CSTBXWW has successfully managed to postpone dealing with, confronting or resolving any issues for another 4 months. Procrastination is the only way she can cope


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 720 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry that she is making this as hard as possible, but glad that you didn't lose anything. Looks favorable in the long run.

Such a shame it has to be such a long run.

Well done. Odd that she would think looking sexy would work for her.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1748 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Swims
♀ Member
Member # 30992
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How frustrating for you, AAS, that there was no resolution today. Hang in there!!

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: East Coast
Secrets Kept
♀ Member
Member # 40630
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well damn. Good news & bad news, I guess. But at least now you do have the reassurance by the judge that you are doing right & she is so very wrong & that they won't just take the mom's side of thibgs through this ordeal.

Again, how very stupid of her. Does she not realize by postponing what she is doing for her pregnancy? Now she will actually be showing her babybump during court appearances & no matter what.....it is in no way classy to be big & pregnant by another man when you are still married to another. It looks quite trashy instead & I am sure any judge out there will agree.

So anyway.......wooohooo for you!!!!


Marriage #1=BW-46 (now)
XWH-Deceased on his 36 bday
Divorced in 1996
Marriage #2= Married in 2003
H-44
2 kids together-DS14 & DD12
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"

Posts: 218 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest USA
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CSTBXWW has successfully managed to postpone dealing with, confronting or resolving any issues for another 4 months.

Ugh. What is it with this woman?

I like how the judge dealt with this part though;

Today went exactly as we all predicted. CSTBXWW would not concede anything at all. ZERO.
In fact, at the last minute she instructed her barrister to tell the court that she wanted to remove my overnight contact on Wednesday's but would allow alternate Wednesdays to be a 2 hour visit. This is her retaliation for me pointing out that if I am able to get them to school on Thursday mornings then there is no reason why I shouldn't have them on Sunday's.

Her barrister made a statement to the judge that she 'has already provided generous access to the children' at which point the judge came down on them hard for considering that she has the right to determine what is generous unilaterally.

I think she revealed her true self to the judge there. What a cow she really is - even trying to take your Wednesday night away from you - but she was foiled by the judge, so at least you know for sure that it is safe until February.

But some of what you posted sounds really positive allatsea. Especially this..

My barrister seems quite confident that this will all resolve itself in my favour, but not today.

...and I agree with CatLover

Odd that she would think looking sexy would work for her.

Especially coupled with the nasty, uncooperative and entitled attitude she displayed. Anyway, I think you conducted yourself admirably today allatsea, and ultimately as - she didn't get her interim residency order or reduction in contact and she conceded many more days over Christmas than she wanted to - I'd say you won the first battle - and you are much more likely to be smiling tonight than she will. Good Job!



...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a quick question though..what does this mean for your divorce? Can the divorce go ahead without the custody and visitation being sorted out? Or has she just made it that much more likely for herself that she will deliver Gru's baby while still married to you?

[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 11:49 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sounds like you had an incredible day in court. it sounds like, at least temporarily you have the upper hand. use this time wisely.

she on the other hand has interesting times coming. I wonder how she will play the pregnancy of with child services.

congratulations.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2985 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like the others, I think you can feel satisfied given the circumstances as well as what could have happened. Her refusal to concede anything was, as you note, expected. And the waiting for more months is torture. But now the ice has been broken and finally she has been put in her place--if only for a moment.

Well done. Another big step has been taken. The worst of this will all be behind you soon enough.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
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