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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feel like an idiot
WishingForLethe
♀ Member
Member # 34805
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So far my BH and I have been getting along really well even discussing the D details.

We were kind of bantering back and forth, and the OM came up. It was not a big deal at first, I was joking I would put in the decree that if the OM ever heard about the D and came around, he would be obligated to come over and kick his ass.

Then I realized...I could not remember OM's last name. Honestly- I totally blanked. Thought about is few minutes- nothing. In fact, BH had to remind me what it was.

So basically I wrecked my M and destroyed part of the soul of my BH and for what- someone whose last name i can no longer remember.

It has been awhile since the shame overwhelmed me, but it did. I wish we could have an intervention CD with all of our stories to magically send out to people who are considering an A.

I have worked through a lot of "whys" and grown so much, but it sometimes feels like I cured s splinter in the finger by cutting off my hand.


Don't look at how far you have to go, but how far you have come

Posts: 350 | Registered: Feb 2012
badchoice
♂ Member
Member # 35566
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"it sometimes feels like I cured s splinter in the finger by cutting off my hand."

Right there with you on this. My BW says that we could have worked on all of our issues with the M if I would have just spoken to her, nothing was so horrible that I had to go nuclear on her, so I know what you mean.


Me: fWH/BH 46

Separated transitioning to D


Posts: 725 | Registered: May 2012 | From: L.A.
pizzalover
♀ Member
Member # 38336
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right there with you on this. My BW says that we could have worked on all of our issues with the M if I would have just spoken to her, nothing was so horrible that I had to go nuclear on her, so I know what you mean.

I wish I would have spoken to my BH. I can't believe that I lived in such fear that he wouldn't have addressed the problems. I live in fear. It's not helpful to me.


Repulsed daily by my actions

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 39 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09


Posts: 436 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: PA
sailorgirl
♀ Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wishing, can I just say that I've been following your posts and you're nowhere near being an idiot.

I see the seeds of the growth you've had in my WH, and it gives me hope.

t/j
I know you'll have a fulfilling life either way, but I wish for your BH's sake that he could see what a strong, wise and deep love he is giving up.

[This message edited by sailorgirl at 11:49 PM, April 5th (Friday)]


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
WishingForLethe
♀ Member
Member # 34805
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sailor girl - I can't thank you enough for you kindness. I pray your WS appreciates pulls himself and becomes worth of you.


Don't look at how far you have to go, but how far you have come

Posts: 350 | Registered: Feb 2012
Topic Posts: 5

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