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User Topic: How do you refer to AP?
sickofthelies
♀ Member
Member # 28566
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, March 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At first it was whore or bitch. Then I found out she is bipolar and is totally bat-shit crazy so I call her "that bipolar whore". I mean no disrespect to anyone with this disorder, but I feel the need to remind FWH how much danger he placed me and my family in by being involved with her. She has renamed herself because she doesn't like her name. It reminds her of her terrible life.


BS-43(me)
WH-44 (love of my life)
Children-20,18,& 14
I think I can breath again!!

Posts: 260 | Registered: May 2010 | From: ohio
heforgotme
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find it worrying when ex-WS call their affair partners “it” or “dirty whore”. I wonder if it’s a tool to blame shift and minimize. Don’t forget that if the OW is an “it” then the WH is someone that DECIDED to have an affair with all the risks and damage that incurred WITH “IT”, or WITH the “dirty whore”.

I think this is a really good point. In our case, WH never referred to that person negatively until I gave him permission. I was getting the feeling that he wasn't very fond of that person, but he never said it. And in my case, it made me feel like he was implicitly defending her. So, one day (after he had already accepted responsibility), I told him that IF he had negative feelings it would do me good to hear them. And then he had a plethora. lol


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1076 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whorita or Mexic*nt.

Posts: 7472 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you refer to AP?

As seldom as possible!

If I have to, it's usually "that girl" or "that girl from ___" (fill in the name of the town). I don't like using either their names or insulting names because both get my anger either rolling or escalating, depending on the situation.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
ClimbingMtns
♂ New Member
Member # 38590
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like this thread. If I'm feeling charitable , I call OM "him." If not, he's "the asshole." Those are the names I use repeatedly -- there have been others on special occasions.


Me: 50
WW: 46
EA DDay: 7/13/09 (but with TT for 12 more months)
Married 25 yrs
Together 29 yrs

Posts: 34 | Registered: Mar 2013
MFC2011
♀ Member
Member # 34856
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Struggling16: "potato-nosed whore".....wow, that is one of the things I have referred to OW#1 as! I actually got it from the way she described her own nose in a FB post. What a random name to share with someone else

I use "your girlfriend" a lot for OW#1. It DOES seem to bother H more than using her actual name....probably because, as previously stated, everyone knows married people aren't supposed to have "girlfriends". Also, it makes his relationship with her sound really immature and teenager-ish, which it was.

I also refer to OW#1 as The Whore. However, I do NOT like it when H uses that term, because it strikes me as hypocritical coming from him, and something he's just saying to try to score points with me.

OW#2 is Chiquita Banana, because she is bananas, and her first name is similar to Carmen.

OW#3 is Brazil Nuts, because she and her H (who PARTICIPATED in the sex) are crazy/nuts.

The girl he kissed in a parking lot, who to her credit turned him down when he told her he was married, is Parking Lot Girl.

The stripper he felt up is Fake Boobs Girl.


Dday#1: 12/25/11, Dday#2: 3/28/12, 4+ OW
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
-Pink, "Just Give Me A Reason"

Posts: 795 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: USA
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even though I'm separated, we have to talk about OW a lot, since the fact that my kids met her has come up a lot in their counseling.

When talking to the child psych, MC when we did that etc, I say "his affair partner". To him, I use some adjective (filthy, disgusting, nasty) followed by "whore", "your whore", "fat fuck", "fuck face", and "c***y". Hardly ever her name if I can help it, but I don't have any kind of physical reaction to saying it. I have names for WH too, in my phone he is "pig fucker"


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 728 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Daisy312
♀ Member
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

10 months past Dday, and I can't refer to her by name. I call her, fathead, Trex, and skank. The first two are because he cheated down n she has a big head and short limbs. Sometimes the names make me chuckle!

Posts: 260 | Registered: Sep 2012
Chandler
♀ Member
Member # 23038
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are all reffered to by me as Heifers


ME:BS Him:WS
D-Day: Too many I lost count
OC born Jan 09
"If happy ever did exist, I would still be holding you like this, all those fairy tales are full of shit, one more fucking love song I'll be sick" -Maroon 5

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Somewhere I never wanted to be
traditoperanni
♀ Member
Member # 32660
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At first, it was every name in the book. Whores, c**ts, scums, POS, etc. But now, since there were many it's usually thing one and thing two and thing three etc.


Me- BS (63)
Him-WS (63)
M- 42 yrs
dday#1 11/09, Dday #2 10/11 and many since
P.A.'s - too many to count
LTA's too many to count (one for 37 yrs)
escorts etc- way too many to count.
Broken heart- too many times to count.
R- Getting bet

Posts: 428 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
naivewife
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Great Whore of Babylon, or just whore for short.


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 341 | Registered: Feb 2013
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her name is similar enough to mine that I'm shocked he never got us confused.

I used to refer to her as Shrek. To call her Fiona would be an insult to Fiona.

I have also drunkenly referred to her as "Your Tranny Bitch" because she is very mannish in appearance.

Now I don't refer to her at all because whores are beneath me so there is no need to even acknowledge she exists.

[This message edited by Chicky at 9:56 PM, March 6th (Wednesday)]


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
What2Thnk
Member
Member # 37863
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Depending on what kind of conversation we're having I refer to them by name (so we can tell them apart) or as 'the married skank' and 'buy me stuff Barbie.' I have other names, bitch is an easy one.


Me (BS) 42
Him (WS) 43
DD #1 7/19/10 2 year LTA EA/PA w/MOW - HSXGF#1
DD #2 6/6/12 4 mo EA (PA?) w/HSXGF#2
DD #3 12/15/12 3 week EA with random stranger
A whole crapload of gaslighting, minimizing, blameshifting, rugsweeping and TT.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Dec 2012
Caldwell
♀ New Member
Member # 37613
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The recent EA has the same name as a "heavenly being", which is like a bad joke, because she is evil. That's not simply my opinion; that's the consensus where she works.

That being said, she is "fff" for "frigid f@!kface". WH has started to call her that too most of the time, but when he actually uses her real name, I feel sick.

His EA/PA from 13 years ago, I just call "the first mushroom", referring to the affair itself.

As I write this, it seems a bit childish for me to use theseothernames, but saying their names, as I said, makes me sick.


Me: BW (54)
WS: (55)
Married: 31 years
2 DDs, 23 & 13
D-Day# 1: November 1999 EA with employee
D-Day#2: 4/2/2012 EA with employee
D-Day #3: 11/2/2012 Found out 1999 EA was actually a PA

Posts: 49 | Registered: Nov 2012
rcantbleveit
♀ Member
Member # 30476
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sparkles....

Posts: 227 | Registered: Dec 2010
hobbeskat
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, April 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She was my friend, so usually her name, or an variations on bitch, smack addicted bitch, etc. Bitch for betraying me, not bitch as a blameshift (they both did).

[This message edited by hobbeskat at 3:16 PM, April 5th (Friday)]


Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
guarded
♀ Member
Member # 25364
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All kinds of names. Many variants on her own name, mostly McTrash or Mac InTrash. Listed in my phone as Kelly Homewrecker.

Also went the route of hobag, your whore, the slut, etc. On addition, she was his coworker, so I love the COW acronym here!

I agree with Sister Milkshake as well, while she didn't take vows
to me, she did knowingly break her own vows and the laws of common decency and continued for two years after she was outed. What's worse....she still has no remorse nor the decency to acknowledge my questions, so deserves any and all of the names I could lavish on her.


In R? But how do you know it isn't another pack of lies?

Posts: 451 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: NY
Happydays
♂ Member
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I referred to AP as "your manager" and "boyfriend".

I remember the conversation as well.
" you are sleeping with your manager and getting promotions and hikes, and telling me that I'm jealous of your progress ?"

This is when I was packing my stuff and leaving.
FWW : you are running away from your responsibilities.
Me: why do you think you need help other than your boyfriend. Is he not ready to take care of you and the kid? Or is your boyfriend interested only to call you his apartment ?

In legal notices it was last name ( referred to here in and hereafter as last name.)

In the police summon full name with company address.


BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Caldwell
♀ New Member
Member # 37613
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Used to call her his 'girlfriend". Which, like all of your partners, made him angry. Then, when I found out the old EA was also a PA, that got confusing, so the recent OW was "f*#^face".

Like Facepunched, I now call recent one "it" and the old one is "other". They don't deserve names.


Me: BW (54)
WS: (55)
Married: 31 years
2 DDs, 23 & 13
D-Day# 1: November 1999 EA with employee
D-Day#2: 4/2/2012 EA with employee
D-Day #3: 11/2/2012 Found out 1999 EA was actually a PA

Posts: 49 | Registered: Nov 2012
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God, which one?

The escort, the one that brought me here? She's just "the escort."

The payroll girl? Well, her first name is Ashley, so I call her Trashley. There's a funny rhyme with her last name too, but honestly she really didn't do anything wrong, other than return chatty emails/texts from my H, so I won't share it. I really don't mention her much.

The girl he hooked up with in NC - after we'd filed for divorce - she has the same first name as me. He referred to her by MY name one time and I went apeshit on him. She is "that girl from [Name of Town]." That's all she gets to be.

Really I don't bring these women up, though, at this point. It serves no purpose to talk about them. If I'm triggering or upset, I talk to him about it but I don't need to talk about them anymore.

ETA: I see I also answered this back in March.

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 8:03 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)]


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
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