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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What Now?
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, February 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs and kisses to both of you.

This is a travesty that never should have happened. But you will have your sweet little one and for that i am grateful.

Thinking maybe you should dump the big one who is not sweet.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1083 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
♀ Member
Member # 38317
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, February 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Little leaf,

I hope your baby and you are safe and doing well. I'm praying for you and your baby son.

Try to think of this baby separate from the A and enjoy him like you dreamed you would when you planned this pregnancy.

Share your joy in having your new baby with someone who loves you. Do you have family or close friends you can talk to for love and support?

I can tell you are a very special lady. Don't ever feel like the fool, they are the fools and so cruel. They are broken. You do not have to stay with a broken man.

I believe you will make it whatever your choice may be. This DD was so recent. It takes all of us a very long time to heal. You are normal and have extra difficult circumstance.

Please write again. How are you and your Little Leaf doing?

Love and prayers.


Me BS 57
Him FWH 60
M 35 years
3 Adult kids

Posts: 100 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 37752
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank-you Everyone!

You have no idea the strength your posts and words of encouragement have bolstered me thru this mountain of b@llsh!t

Thank-you is NOT enough..

Me and baby are now home! It was a real rough time, he was premature, jaundiced, under weight - but oh so beautiful. I had emergency c-section, transfusion, and then had eclampsia :(. We both had immunology specialists go thru us with fine toothed combs..but it looks ok right now!

He is my brightness, this little one. I pray every day, that there will not be anything wrong with him as he grows. He is an innocent in this effing disaster!

WH and I are trying to R.

Although my view of R and WH view of R differs. I did not have anyone else to depend upon during this whole pregnancy but him.
And, he was here in body. But abscent in heart - if you know what I mean. He said it was because he felt like-such-a-shit.

No kidding.

We are still trying to R, but I am having serious doubts that I will EVER get over, let alone FORGIVE him for what he did to us.

~Sigh~ Perhaps it is just a stage I am going thru, I know everyone tells me NOT to jump ship and make major decisions.

And, realistically I could not of divorced and moved out these past 11 months anyways.

But, seriously is it just me or is there some stuff that a woman can simply NOT forgive?? Or am I shallow and selfish??

I no longer know myself - or have a clear grasp of what is true or false in this situation... :(

I am continuing to post and read SI, as you all are the only people who GET what I am going thru!

Hope you are all well, and progressing to awesomeness.

Littleleaf & Babyleaf

Posts: 88 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is possible to R without forgiveness...also - it depends on your definition of forgiveness. One definition is that you no longer want to exact punishment or revenge on the betrayer...well under that definition, I forgave my H very quickly. But I still hurt, I still cry and I have moments of anger still. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget what happened.

A remorseful spouse makes forgiveness more likely...what is your H doing to help you heal? What message does his actions send? And do they still work together?

Congratulations on baby leaf!! I'm glad you have that little rainbow in your life right now!

Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Littleleaf & Babyleaf)))))

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
♀ Member
Member # 37752
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If any of you ares still out there, I just wanted you to know
Babyleaf is a beautiful pudgy disarmingly cute 20lbs of love.
He is perfect.
I am no longer in the marriage home.
I have been moving around with baby and suitcse in had for four months now.
I could not stand being there in that whore's house, with WH silent and holding secrets.
Moving toward D.
So, did not want this.
Did not want to be a single parent.
Did not want to raise Baby, in a broken family. (Again, raised two boys with estranged father - so many broken memories, broken little hearts, it just makes me cry and cry)
But, I am TRYING to get over this.
Right now I am being hit hard with postnatal depression.
WH is emotionally absent.
Still feel very alone, and now homeless and with out money.
Having very bad days, this laptop is my only outlet for all the garbage I feel inside.
thanks for listening

Posts: 88 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am so sorry for you and all that you have been through. It is so unfair and heartbreaking.

Please know we are all here and praying for you.

You will get through this I promise. Have faith and know that we and God are here for you.

Hugs and prayers.

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1182 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really have no words. I don't understand these men who risk getting OW pregnant. Do they have a lick of common sense??!!

I can't even feel sorry that the OW lost the baby (wow that makes me sound horrible). You are going to come through this and you will have a beautiful baby boy in your arms. She will have nothing, just what she deserves.

I will send you good thoughts and gentle hugs.

Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh! Sorry I just read your update. So happy you and your baby are together and healthy.

I certainly can't blame you for moving towards D, although I'm sad that your WH pushed to towards that decision.

I can't imagine being able to get past my WH endangering me and my unborn child. You are such a strong, strong woman.

Blessings to you on your journey

Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 29
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