You have no idea the strength your posts and words of encouragement have bolstered me thru this mountain of b@llsh!t
Thank-you is NOT enough..
Me and baby are now home! It was a real rough time, he was premature, jaundiced, under weight - but oh so beautiful. I had emergency c-section, transfusion, and then had eclampsia :(. We both had immunology specialists go thru us with fine toothed combs..but it looks ok right now!
He is my brightness, this little one. I pray every day, that there will not be anything wrong with him as he grows. He is an innocent in this effing disaster!
WH and I are trying to R.
Although my view of R and WH view of R differs. I did not have anyone else to depend upon during this whole pregnancy but him.
And, he was here in body. But abscent in heart - if you know what I mean. He said it was because he felt like-such-a-shit.
We are still trying to R, but I am having serious doubts that I will EVER get over, let alone FORGIVE him for what he did to us.
~Sigh~ Perhaps it is just a stage I am going thru, I know everyone tells me NOT to jump ship and make major decisions.
And, realistically I could not of divorced and moved out these past 11 months anyways.
But, seriously is it just me or is there some stuff that a woman can simply NOT forgive?? Or am I shallow and selfish??
I no longer know myself - or have a clear grasp of what is true or false in this situation... :(
I am continuing to post and read SI, as you all are the only people who GET what I am going thru!
Hope you are all well, and progressing to awesomeness.
Littleleaf & Babyleaf