Our M was in a rut and I didn't know how to get out of it. I now have an entire library of books, mostly marriage repair after the ILYBINILWY speech - and tons of books on infidelity after DDay. These are my re-readers. Some of these are in the healing library, but just my .02 -
#1 Infidelity book (EVER!): Not "Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. Should be required reading in high school so inappropriate behaviors never start!! Guardian angel delivered this to my door on my DDay. I credit my sanity and my R to this book.
One of the books I keep re-reading is Kiss Me Like You Mean It by Dr. David Clarke. It is written from a Christian perspective but if you are not, pass over the religious stuff, because the relationship info is REALLY good. Clark doesn't pull punches and goes after both men and women, and is LOL funny. And sexy. Mmm-hmm, you know what I'm talkin' bout!
Next on my list are two really, really good books based on scientific surveys: For Women Only and its companion, For Men Only (of course I read the men's, too) by Shaunti Feldhan and Jeff Feldhan. Also has religious references, see above. Really opened my eyes to how I treated my H and also perspective on myself/women in general. Two short, important reads.
Anything by Michelle Weiner-Davis (of course).
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman. Wow. This guy and his wife, Julie, have spent decades scientifically observing couples. After reading this book, we went to a seminar locally and it was well worth it! (I believe the seminars are also available on DVD) What an eye-opener for what constitutes a healthy marital relationship and appropriate, respectful behavior by both.
Now on to the Fifty Shades thread. . . Us: 50ish, madhatters, married 20 odd yrs
TT: May 2009 'til June
DDay for both: June 17, 2009
Me: 2x, same person, 1991
Him: 1.5 year PA (EA?) 2007-2009
Honey Badger don't care. - Randall