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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men- Part 9
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lets get 3-14 punched in first

I'll bite - WTF is 3-14?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3287 | Registered: Dec 2011
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Steak and a blowjob day. It's like valentines day only with more steak and less chocolate.

The steaks here *always* go on sale that week anymore, all of them.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7091 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Makes sense to me. Both of them usually are rare.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3287 | Registered: Dec 2011
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count me in. I'm just curious though, if it's a week long sale, why limit the celebration to just a day?


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2062 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just realized this thread is about to flip. I want to go on record as stating that JJCT's 2nd post in this thread back on page 1 should be the official "BM starter post". For those of us who want to live vicariously through a real survivor. What say you men?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3287 | Registered: Dec 2011
WakingFromADream
♂ Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll second that.


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1134 | Registered: Nov 2011
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Third, but I'm willing to bet dollars to donuts he's gotten a better pic by now!


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2062 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you get WW anything for Mother's Day since we know what stellar parents they are?

Yes, a Bible. Nothing else.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, a Bible. Nothing else.

That and a genetically coded chastity belt only unlockable by the WW's husband's penis.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That and a genetically coded chastity belt only unlockable by the WW's husband's penis.

Damn, why didn't I think of that?


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rye, I think you've hit on something big.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2062 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
2fwd1back
♂ New Member
Member # 39131
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First want to say thanks for the responses to my way long post back on pg 43. Sorry if this is TMI and crude but 10 months into this and it is still bugging the shit out of me... My W had 2 PA with coworkers over a 4 month period that consisted of oral sex only but without protection. She rarely did it at home and even more rarely swallowed but had no problem doing it exclusively to these two guys. I just don't get it, on top of it we both have a medical background and she is a germaphobe so she was well aware of the risks. When I originally found out about the A and questioned it she replied she "didn't know" (I got that answer a lot) and that she was ashamed of it and it made her feel very uncomfortable because in hind sight she realizes it was the wrong choice. But wtf! She said at the time was that they were both in LTR/M so she did not feel it was a risk...but I just don't get it? Why swallow? Why do it? No further clarity in MC either. Just wonder if there were any others with this shitty phenomenon. I hate to bring it up now because I feel like I am going backward. It seems like there are just so many things that I will never get the answers to.

Wish I could get some good traction in R and working on making me the priority. Can't seem to get either right though.


BH (me), 40
WW, 39
M 15 years, T 24 years
2 kids, 11 & 9
DDay 1 6/12 EA
DDay 2 7/12 Actually a PA
DDay 3 7/12 Wellllll... Actually a PA with 2 guys
In MC, Attempting R

Posts: 11 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: USA
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A new bride should come with a warning tag - watch your ass when she approaches 40.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 10:17 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
ReunitePangea
♂ Member
Member # 37529
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

in hind sight she realizes it was the wrong choice

Do you believe that? I think in just about all cases a WW knows what she is doing is wrong at the time they are doing it but do it anyways. Maybe she didn't fully think through the consequences of her wrong actions but she had to have known it was wrong at the time.

I think you are frustrated because you are getting "I dont knows" and you think you have not got to the whys for her actions. I'm not seeing any MC at all so I am maybe not a good expert to ask. However if I was and my MC was letting my WW get away with answers like "I don't know" and "in hindsight I now know it was wrong" I would be getting a new MC.


BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

Posts: 398 | Registered: Nov 2012
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2f1b,

...at the time was that they were both in LTR/M so she did not feel it was a risk...

Yea, FWW said the same thing about her last OM. She caught herpes from him. She said she thought because he was married he would be safe, despite being in his 2nd M, other affairs, sexual harassment claims and being with prostitutes THAT SHE KNEW ABOUT.

I really think it is more that a condom would have interfered with the fantasy. She did not use condoms with OM, one of whom was single, either. If she blew her bil as I suspect that would have been protection free too. Condoms would have just been a huge red sign pointing out that what she was doing was being slutty and easy, not a relationship of love.

Wish I could get some good traction in R and working on making me the priority.

Good luck, I do not know if we really ever got there. I am tempted to say I get some glimpses of being the priority now, over 3 years later. Really, I think it is just that I am no longer ignored or shut out so consistently. I do not think I know what a healthy and vibrant relationship looks like, and never will so long as I am M to FWW. The first year after dday was her figuring out what she wanted; the next 1-2 was her working on her issues. There was very little time or interest in me during all of that.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3963 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
2fwd1back
♂ New Member
Member # 39131
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sal....amen. That and it seems if they are on any antidepressants.

RP... I was only trying to say that she did not fully weigh the risks of unprotected sex. I am sure she knew it was wrong.

Atsen...I think you bring up a great point on how it would ruin the fantasy...will have to give that some thought.

Thanks all


BH (me), 40
WW, 39
M 15 years, T 24 years
2 kids, 11 & 9
DDay 1 6/12 EA
DDay 2 7/12 Actually a PA
DDay 3 7/12 Wellllll... Actually a PA with 2 guys
In MC, Attempting R

Posts: 11 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: USA
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was only trying to say that she did not fully weigh the risks of unprotected sex.

Neither did mine. I got a vasectomy so we could stop at 4 kids, and within a year she's risking pregnancy and STD's with another man. Unbelievable.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

" but I knew I couldn't get pregnant". ( she's had a hysterectomy)

sigh


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2062 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MEH, they are morons. I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago. During my wife's affair, they started with unprotected sex. Then used a condom.

Then she told me that she wanted to go back on the pill because it helped her complexion. (She forgot to mention that she wanted to quit using condoms, cause captain dipshit couldn't climax with a condom on.)

Who has two thumbs and used to believe everything? This Guy.

The best part was when she found out from me that OM's wife had HPV. Morons.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 11:57 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1263 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
dday3302011
♂ Member
Member # 32043
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Betrayed Men Part 9 is ending. On to part 10.

I had a chapter close today too. Divorce was final today. Thank you to everyone who's helped me for the two years I've been on here. You guys are the best.

Peace brothers!


BH-41 (me)
xWW-42
M 11yrs, together 14
DDay 3-30-2011
2 kids, 9 & 7
1 yr LTA w/MOM
Divorced 5-16-2013

Posts: 235 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Northeast
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