When offered R, she refused. Now 4 months from Dday, she only calls me when she needs money. She has no other use for me.
I promise you, unless I'm forgetting, her bad move took center stage. The fact that she'd fuck someone else was all I needed to know.
I'm introspective. I think...what would I be thinking to fuck someone else?
Some fucked up shit is what.
I had plenty of opportunities, outright propositions, bared breasts, what the fuck else? I forget but I can tell you this closely, with a whispered ear, that that was not me.
Therefore, if it is them? Then they are not me.
Am I contributing?
Never once in my whole shitshebangs did it ever occur to me what's worse.
Veni vidi vici copulatore.
Sister Victoria would beat my ass for that mangled Latin; I came I saw, I conquered by fucking...I'd answer my job in life is to make me happy, not some empty-souled vagina who'd fuck another.
That hole's to deep. I ain't diggin it. Got more important things to do.
Like swingin a dead cat 'round Duncanville last month:
So I had a DDay in August 2011, I almost immediately laid down the groundrules for continued marriage. She (WW) balked, and then she filed for divorce. I think this was an attempt to regain the upper hand in our relationship. Anyway, by the time she filed (Oct. 2011) I had checked out emotionally. I never got a bit of remorse, or anything. And who wants to stay with a person like that.
Ah, but here is the rub. About a month before I found out about the A, I stopped working and was becoming the SAHD. Interestingly, about a year before, I had gone down to part time in my job to allow her an opportunity to take a good job that would help out our team effort, as I was languishing professionally in a bad economy.
Anyway, where it stands now is that I lack the resources to support myself and the kids, so I remain living in the same house with a remorseless sack of shit. I am home with the kids most days, but when she comes home I just disappear to my room.
Often she'll undermine me with the kids, just a subtle attempt to drive a wedge between me and them. I am really just biding my time until I can get out of the house. I have alot of leverage, I think, legally, despite being the husband.
BTW, I have been generating some side income from some legal work, but not enough to sustain separate living.
One last thing, there is no way she can support this house by herself, so she and her sleaze attorney are balking at my proposal for 50/50 custody.
Anyway, just wanted to put down a quick status update and feel you guys out about any thoughts or suggestions. Hope everyone else is weathering the storm...
SAHD=loser who won't work in our society. I actually had an employer ask me if I had been to the pen, instead of caring for my young children when I went back to work after dday. I put the two y/o in daycare and went back to work at the first job I found.
Leaving the workforce to keep my kids was the biggest mistake of my life. I am basically starting over, but since I stayed, it is at least inside a(my) house, instead of a borrowed camper or a tent in some buddy's back yard.
Crap! And your wife still put out for him with that going on? How pathetic is that??
Yeah, exactly. It was the first and last time they got sexual while sober. It was, in my wife's words, a few minutes of extremely awkward and unpleasurable oral. This was the incident she didn't remember in her original timeline, and did tell me about a few days after the timeline. She didn't even think about it as a sexual encounter, as it was so weird, distracting and awkward. Of course, putting genitals in each other's mouths is obviously sexual, regardless of the pleasure-factor.
Just checking in. I am going today @130pm to file. I have cancelled this twice before but today is the day.
Will post more later.
I've been holding out but I've finally figured out that it's pointless. We had an e-mail exchange about short selling our house a few days ago, which went pretty well until the last e-mail she sent me telling me that she still loved me and only wanted what was best for me and that was not having to deal with her or her issues.
On the one hand, she's right but man, what a mindfuck. When I said "I do" for better or for worse, that included being there for her and helping her to deal with her issues. When she said it, apparently it meant that she would be there until her daddy issues got to be too much to bear and then she would leave me for a slightly younger version of her estranged father. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped and she took that responsibility out of my hands but there is still a part of me that wants to fix us, that wants to help her fix herself and that wants to build a new relationship. I know it isn't going to happen so I'm going to file but I'm not terribly happy about it right now.
My stbxw has not said she loves me and would never say she wanted to work it out. Never, not once.
[This message edited by h0peless at 7:48 PM, November 28th (Wednesday)]
I’ve read to try and catch up a bit. I don’t know how some of you keep out of prison. I would have to kill someone I swear.
jjct – what the hell man how do you do it. Keep smiling – we all are when we see your pics
And WAL – I saw a post a few days ago about you not having the ability to get cantankerous this week and the fun you are having – many more weeks of that to come is all I can wish for you.
Still have to get my name off the mortgage on the farm that she bought me out from, well her daddy did. That will result in yet another court date
Does that mean you can get him to buy you out again?
I'm thinking of our brothers who threw down recently, line in the sand...strength to you!
You are the prize. (see mpb's recent)
3 ladies found themselves at the pearly gates. St. Peter comes up to them and says; "Welcome. We have only one rule here. Don't step on a duck."
Okayyy they think, but when they're led into heaven, there's ducks all over the place, underfoot.
The first lady lasted about a minute. When she stepped on a duck, Peter shows up and chains her for eternity to the ugliest man she ever saw.
The 2nd lady lasted a week, but she did too, and Pete shows up and chains her to the ugliest man she ever saw, for eternity.
Now the 3rd lady, she was verrry careful, and after about a month, Peter grabs her and chains her to this Adonis, handsomest guy she ever dreamed of. She wonders aloud; "What did I ever do to deserve this?"
& the guy answers; "I don't know about you lady, but I stepped on a duck!"
[This message edited by h0peless at 11:09 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
[This message edited by h0peless at 11:10 PM, December 4th (Tuesday)]
1.) doesn't charge alot'
2.) pays attention to your needs
3.) communicates well and
4.) doesn't tell you what you need, but asks you what you want.
This is good advise for getting a lawyer or a hooker.
Man it's been a while since I had sex.