Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: northeasternarea (43214)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 11
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your Kindle book loan for So. You're in Love With a Narcissist. by Alexandra Nouri MSW has been returned. You may now access this title by checking Archived Items on your Kindle or Kindle reading application

Now available for loan for 2 weeks to anyone that wants it. Just PM me your email address, and I'll send it out.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
curiouswiz
♀ Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Argh..the kids with an NPD. I could not for the life of me figure out all these years of abuse in regards to being a step mom. I have six siblings and only three of us are from the same dad. There was no step in our home. There were brothers and sisters.

When I asked them to clean their rooms I was told to leave them alone. I was not allowed to parent unless it was fun. Well that didn't turn out so well. I can't go into it right now but wow. My eyes keep opening wider and wider at the revelations in this thread. Just wow.

If that kindle book is still available I'd like to borrow it. Can I simply download it and return it? I've never used a kindle book so not sure if I can do that. I have done Melanie Tonya Evans book with a download so hopefully I could do that? Please let me know if I'm not to late.

Thanks folks.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 600 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If that kindle book is still available I'd like to borrow it. Can I simply download it and return it? I've never used a kindle book so not sure if I can do that. I have done Melanie Tonya Evans book with a download so hopefully I could do that? Please let me know if I'm not to late.

Just send me your email address in a private message. You'll get a notification from Amazon that it's there. Just follow the steps from the email. You don't need a kindle or anything. You can download a free Kindle app to most any device. (I use my macbook and android phone mostly, but MrWNW uses the android tablet and PC.)

It'll then be available in your kindle app for 2wks, then it'll auto return to me, like the email I posted above and be available for me to loan out to others.

It's a nice feature. I wish all Kindle books gave the "loan this title" option, but unfortunately a good many don't. I try to loan out the ones that allow me to though.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aww so sad!!!

Apparently each one can only be loaned once, which is why so many of mine seem unloanable.

Lending Kindle Books
Kindle books can be loaned to another reader for a period of 14 days. The borrower does not need to own a Kindle -- Kindle books can also be read using our free Kindle reading applications for PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, BlackBerry, and Android devices. Not all books are lendable -- it is up to the publisher or rights holder to determine which titles are eligible for lending. The lender will not be able to read the book during the loan period. Books can only be loaned once, and subscription content is not currently available for lending.

Poop policy. :(


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Found out that STBX was being treated for, get this, co-dependency. This was right after DDay when I insisted he get into IC.

No wonder his IC didn't make any difference. He's a master liar. HE abused ME! HE did! But he twisted it all around with his IC even back then, even when I was trying desperately to save our marriage. No wonder when we'd have joint MC with our two respective IC present, no wonder the shit that came out of his IC's mouth made no sense to me and my IC whatsoever. The way that man talked to me, his body language & tone of voice, no wonder it was futile. That stupid IC had no clue at ALL. He was completely duped by STBX.

Co-dependent? Him? Good Lord, what a joke.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8781 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, NatureGirl, I can soooo relate right now. I just got the most interesting papers in the mail.

It appears STBXN has found his inner anger.

Today, I find that he is going to say he couldn't have broken the PO, because one box was left unchecked... the one that says he will stay away from ME. (I took that to the prosecutor's office, and gave them a copy of his letter and the PO itself.) My guess is he will be laughed out of court on Friday, but the side effect he may not want is a NEW copy with the box marked. I've seen similar things happen, and the paragraph box WAS marked, just not the "petitioner" box underneath. Clearly, he was restrained, he is just using this to get out of the PO break trial. Oh, but his stated reason is so we can settle this "without conflict or animosity and find closure." Yeah, you can just get divorced without a judge. He's already said in court that he wanted to do this without getting the court involved.

But there's more. Now, it seems I am the abusive one who he is afraid of. Why, he was even contemplating getting a PO himself. My rages and threats over the years, physical abuse, falsehoods and manipulation of my DS's undeveloped (15 now 16 year old) mind... well, it's just horrifying. He's asking for a GAL, and I'm not opposed. In fact, it would be great, because the things the kids will say, as well as the others who will speak for me, will all put the lie to his bs.

And he's asked for a continuance. I'm SO stunned. He doesn't want to have the divorce trial next month. Oh, no he doesn't. He wants to get a lawyer. His family is helping him seek legal counsel. Meaning his psycho sister, of course. But that's ok. Tomorrow is the consult with one DV attorney, and the 6th is another. In the meantime between the two, I'll be contacting legal aid here, and seeking an atty of my own, if the first one won't go pro bono.

So, NatureGirl, we are in the same damn boat.


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When he decided to leave his job for one that paid $1200 month less. He wanted the children to take a cut in CS. He filed.. we went round and round.. thru mediation.. no agreement. Were to have a hearing in the judges chambers and at the last minute he retains the attorney. we were to meet at 4:30 - attorney was retained at 3;30. His attorney needed time to get up to speed.. continuance granted.


be prepared...this type of stuff is in the NPD handbook...

Hugs,

K

[This message edited by Kajem at 5:32 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I LOVED the atty I met today. She laughed and called him an idiot and said that his "motions" were liable to make the judge mad.

It was a great consult, and she is willing to help me if I need it, but she honestly doesn't think I will. I enjoyed the hour, and came out feeling so much more powerful and relaxed than I was going in. She and my dv advocate are great friends, and now I know why. She's a really cool atty.

It sure was nice to feel like I'm doing everything right and it will all come out ok in the end.


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Cool  Posted: 7:26 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((SoHurt)))
This the best post from you ever !! God does take out the wrong people and brings the right ones in our lives. (dv advocate and attorney)I'm a firm believer !

Doing a happy dance with you !
I know what it feels like when the burden gets off your shoulders !
Hugs
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, gma. I really feel a whole lot better knowing I have nothing to fear but fear itself, and that I can call on this atty any time I need to.

What a relief!


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY!!!!!

So glad the DV advocate and attorney empowered you. What a blessing they are for the women in your area.

Awesome post.... just awesome.

Hugs, and joining gma in the happy dance.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh. My. God. I just realized WH is NPD.

From this website, along with many others.

http://able2know.org/topic/101932-1

He fits descriptions to a T. ALL OF THEM.


Me-BW 35. STBXH-35,active alcoholic, suspected NPD SA. 2 little boys. M 6yrs T13.
Year+ false R & TT from Dday1 Nov 2012 IEA - Feb 2014 count at 10 OW PA's 1LTA (all W lied to) for 3 years that I know of.
Filed for D.

Posts: 816 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Libertyrocks...

So sorry you find yourself here. We call ourselves the Tribe. Welcome to the Tribe.

Keep reading and posting... lots of valuable information from the members here.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's pretty shocking when you figure it out.

I think mine is borderline with NPD comorbidity.

what does that mean for me? In the last few days been hearing and seeing him act crazy.

social page taken down repeatedly, people say he's being a massive ass, and I saw him drive up and down my street last night TWENTY TIMES over the course of 3 or so hours.

I don't know what to make of it. Typically by now I would have tried to approach him and sort it and set myself up for another round of 3-4 months of trying to prove I am worth something before getting upset enough at his anctic to lose it and be called insane and crazy blah blah blah.

I am just sitting here thinking wow look how much I meant to him. He totally abandoned me and is obviously being nutty, but can't bring his wonderful self to the point of even saying a peep to me. Instead he drives up and down the street probably hoping to trigger me into reaching out like I always have.

I don't WANT to reach out. I am sad and sorry things are going the way they are, but I can't be in any relationship where some self absorbed person is trying to control and dominate and degrade me.

I do care about him, but I cross off the calendar each day that passes that I am successful at NC. About a month now for real.

I guess I am lucky we didn't get married or I would be getting dragged around like some of you are.

I started the Melanie Tonya Evans program. To be honest I feel utter crap. I guess she makes sense, but it's kind of overwhelming to me right now.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kalli,

I am so proud of you for not dancing to his tune. After so long it becomes a habit. And like any bad habit it takes time to break. But you are almost a month NC... Awesome!!!

Funny.. he is showing everyone that he is everything he used to say about you. With time they will understand WHY? If he runs true to form, he will never understand how you can not succumb to his lovely personality (tic).

Today you are the NC Queen. If I had a tiara I'd give it to you to wear. You go girl!

Hugs,
K

[This message edited by Kajem at 10:13 AM, April 26th (Friday)]


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
CharlieFoxtrot
♀ Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome, libertyrocks~ the first bit of time after realization can be completely overwhelming. I'm glad you are finding good sources of information and comfort!

Kalliopeia~ Great job on maintaining NC! I know it's a crazy time with the drive bys and his acting out. Please take care of yourself and keep a watchful eye on yourself.


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Kalliopeia)))Great job staying NC! It sounds like it's really driving him crazy. How ironic since you're the "crazy" one according to him. If he was capable of seeing himself, he would see the irony.

I fell off the NC wagon and got quite a few new hurts over the last week or so to add to the long list so far.

But I'm back on it. My STBX won't change and I know it. He is incapable of being a someone I could call a friend so all I can do is block him out as much as I can considering that we have young children. But NO MORE personal contact. If it isn't about the kids, money and done via text/email...I don't want to hear it.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just feel like he is going to sucker me if I say anything. I am really tired of all of that.

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's an echo in here. libertyrocks, I said the same things when I entered the Tribe. You'll be ok as long as you take breaks from the overwhelming things you're learning. I felt like I was going to go crazy just learning how crazy STBX is. It's a hard thing to take, but we're all here with you, so post a lot, and when you get scared, remember we all know what you're feeling.

Kalli, you are doing very well at maintaining NC! I may not have had your strength, so pat yourself on the back and keep it up. I know it's hard to do, but I love that you're marking it on the calendar. Keep doing that, because it's an awesome idea. You have a visual reminder of how far you've come! Great job!

As for me, I was supposed to have two hearings today as per STBX, but both were stricken. Apparently, it's not acceptable to only notify yourself and the court, not acceptable to fail to file a return of service, and also not to serve the papers properly. Gee, isn't it too bad he couldn't get the PO dropped just in time to go to his hearing this afternoon?

His big plan was to get it dropped so he could say that if there wasn't a PO in effect, he couldn't have broken it; then at the failure to appear/bail-jumping hearing in an hour, there would be no reason to be there, as he hadn't committed a crime, right?

So, he didn't get what he wanted there, didn't get all his nasty statements about me admitted, and basically pushed us two weeks closer to the divorce trial. So if he files this crap again, we'll be so close to the trial he won't get anywhere.

Guess he doesn't know more than everyone else.

Oh, and thanks, Kajem, for the YAY above.

[This message edited by SoHurt at 2:17 PM, April 26th (Friday)]


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not strong. I lost hope. He might as well be dead if he is a narc. I am devastated. I always believed he could get better. Everyone says with a narc, give up hope and run. So I am.

SoHurt, when I was going through my divorce years ago, my ex husband used to come to court after filing all of his bogus crap and he would have this big briefcase and lots of papers he made loud paper noises with. It was hilarious. Looking back, I am pretty sure he is a narc, too.

Anyway, the judge just had a fit after a while. I always took the high road. Not once did I offer a counter attack.

He never got to me the way my current ex has.

Anyway, what a relief it was when that divorce was over. It took 18 months. And we live in a no fault state where 90 days gets you your divorce. My ex husband drug it out with a million stupidities.

These guys really tick off their lawyers too.

[This message edited by Kalliopeia at 3:34 PM, April 26th (Friday)]


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.