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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 11
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kalli,

Keep posting it helps to get things out and down someplace to see the abnormal ways that they are.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my brothers has tried contacting my EX. Ex refuses to answer. Won't answer cell phone, won't answer emails.

It feels weird to me to be moving him out, but I packed his things.

My brother offered to act as a go between for moving my ex's things.

Beyond the communication that I am like an animal and not human and that since I was "attacking" his friend, etc, my ex has been silent.

I know what he is doing. Silent treatment. No matter what you do, he won't respond. He would rather die than respond. I believe I read somewhere that the silent treatment is silent raging, the worst form of verbal abuse there is.

My ex knows it just rends my heart to get the silent treatment. The more you try to get a response, the more he makes sure you won't get one. The main reasons I have totally lost my cool with this guy has ALWAYS been because of the silent treatment. My worst behaviors have been in reaction to that.

So what he is doing now... silent treatment. I know it is directed at me. My friend from the golf team told me my ex and that woman were back today. They have no intention of really leaving or stopping. I guess he played today.

I know I am the most unimportant person in the world to him, so I am the last person who is worth enough to him to say anything to.

I listened to the Melanie Tonya Evans recordings about NPD. She says NPD will realize you are vulnerable to abandonment and that is exactly what they will do. So I am abandoned and I will never hear from him again. Now all I have to do is my half of no contact.

I am deeply sad to find out it probably is NPD, though it does explain loads of things I never understood before. To me it's like he is diagnosed with a deadly illness and is already in a coma. I will never get back the man I thought he was.

I am trying to just accept it and move on. I think he has already.

We are moving his belongings to a storage unit this coming weekend when my brothers have time to bring over a truck and move the big stuff. I intend to rent it for a month and mail him the key, etc. If he doesn't get his stuff, I guess it is his loss. I think I am being reasonable.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, Kalli, just get it all out. We will listen and just be with you as you process this.

You can do this. And I am glad for your brother.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2373 | Registered: Jan 2010
CharlieFoxtrot
♀ Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Kalleopeia)))))

Please keep posting, it is a wonderful release to know you are heard, understood, and not alone. You aren't crazy, you are becoming enlightened. I hate that you need this forum, but I am glad you found us.


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:40 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kalli, I remember the silent treatment. So loud and resonant it was. So glad I can choose my own version of silence now. I used guided meditations at first, they're easily downloaded from I tunes or wherever, and I really recommend them for when you need peace and quiet and to still your mind, and to bring you into the present.

Because, soon you can feel celebration and jubilation that you have got yourself back - whole, wiser, and emotionally fitter than ever.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Shutup  Posted: 6:35 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Edie wrote:
Because, soon you can feel celebration and jubilation that you have got yourself back - whole, wiser, and emotionally fitter than ever.

Thank you for that. It was exactly what I needed to hear this morning.

I woke up missing MrWNW some this morning. It saddened me realizing there's no more daily conversations with the man I committed my life to over the past 4yrs. Even if fake, this morning, I missed waking up to seeing an IM of "Good morning, I love you, hope you slept well."

....but you're so correct. I have myself back, whole, wiser, and more emotionally fit than ever. I do have joy and celebration in my life everyday now. I took the dog for a walk, just so filled with love for this animal who is SO amazing already. My father IM'd me shortly after, and we had a nice morning chat. I listened to the birds outside. I left the windows open last night, fell asleep to the night sounds of the country, and listened as the birds awoke in the morning. That's peace. Then I woke my DD for school, and she is now SO easy to get ready thanks to the new pup. NO meltdowns yesterday or today. That's a huge improvement. Then I tethered her to the pup and let her take him for a walk outside before the bus, and her laughs and her smiles, watching her kneel down frequently to hug him and tell him "Good puppy" and love on him.... total joy, my heart is full today. I am very blessed. "Whole, wiser, and more emotionally fit than ever." I pondered those words all morning while I did those above things. It put me back to the good place I'm at in life. Thanks. :)

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 6:36 AM, April 9th (Tuesday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
curiouswiz
♀ Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahhh, shit. I've been reading these posts all morning. Another place for me.

My eyes keep opening wider and wider. Ah, shit.

Guess I'll take a breather for now. I'll be back but damn, another thread to heal myself with all the wisdom you folks share.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 600 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I spent a lot of time over on youtube watching sam vanikan videos.


wow. This guy is cold.

It helps to understand that this was not about me.

At the same time I feel guilty, embarressed, and humiliated. Mainly because I was trying to hard to be patient and always became so upset the last year or so every few months. I would go into a massive state of upset/panic/pain/anger and really just tell this guy off. I was so mean and rude. Nasty. I feel bad for it mainly because it effects my view of my own self.

He is still on silent treatment mode. I guess he took back up "leadership" on the golf team and led them all to a match where they died in a fire. Gee, all of it is so darned worth it to him.

I am not so good hearted that I didn't laugh when I saw it.

I feel bad, I miss him ( sick i know) and I feel sad and angry. At the same time, I just can't see myself ever being able to deal with this guy again.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

kalli,

Please check your PM's.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To Kalli,

There is much better and safer material than the Sam Vaknin stuff; even if you have to dig further or deeper than his stuff as he has cornered the NPD 'market'/ information flow, it is worth doing so.

To Windows,

So so happy to hear you had such a good morning and glad to have been of any little help. Big hug to you.

To Kalli again,

As Threnody warned me of early on in this thread, you might find you initiaily miss the chains.

[This message edited by Edie at 2:28 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really failing at mental NC today. My neighbor had a quick store run and braved taking all the children with her So I had some quiet time with just me and the slumbering pup. I shut the lights off, shut the tv off, just sat here in the quiet with the fan running, and tried to quiet my mind. Use some of the 1st akeru exercise by Susan Anderson... and out of that came a thought I'm gonna repeat during these times over and over and over.....

"The fear of a broken heart should not keep you in a broken soul."

I realized that fear has kept me chained for so long. Even though I'm the one that ended things, my heart is still going to break. I'm going to grieve, but I can push through that. My soul restoration is only possible through this.

(sigh) Still need to pack his things and drive them there. I'm not even ready to look at any of them. I was looking for a file today and saw thumbnails of pictures of us on the computer, and I just shut it....afraid to even look at him in pictures right now. Fearful I'll suddenly turn back into the girl I was a year ago. I don't want to see his clothes, don't want to feel them in my hands. I need to push through and get it over with though, so I can be done with this. The anger started creeping in too, and I just wanted to scream at him, "I hate you for getting me to believe just to let me down again!"

LOL, best part is I'm not feeling out of control.....yet. THIS seems ok. I still haven't cried, although I feel I should have by now, like I should just break down and get it out, but there's no tears. I think I'm in some type of survival mode shock right now.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
avicarswife
♀ Member
Member # 35799
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is anyone still with WS who has NPD?

I'm so struggling with everything. One minute I think I can do this and then he does something that just blows me away that he'd even do such a thing.

I mean they aren't always big things just things to hurt me.

We are in counselling and I thought we might really be getting somewhere.

Last night he was really angry at me - I am not even sure exactly what for. I think because I found out more detail about his PA. He was giving me the silent treatment.

At about 3 this morning he'd woken me again - big deep yawns and getting up and down and moving the bed until I wake.

I asked him if he wanted to talk and he said no - so I left it. My IC told to quit trying to cajole him back into a good mood - his mood is his to control.

Anyway he got up and muttered something about joining SI of all things. I had suggested it in the past as I thought it might be helpful.

Anyway this morning I happen to be looking at his emails and there is one for him from SI saying they can't register as someone is already registered from here. What really shocked me was the name he'd try to register under. It was a name significant to him and OW - which he knows I know.

I think he hates me - I mean what other conclusion can I come to? He tells me he loves me but I mean why else would he do that if he didn't want to hurt me?

I can't understand this - how can I have been with him 26 years and not seen this side of him?


BS: 47 (me)
WH: 51
Married 26 yrs, 3 kids (16-24)
D-Days 2012: 21 - 23 May + TT
D-Day 2013: 12 Apr OW#3
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 months 2010
OW #3 PA single time 2010
Status: Maybe 'R'

Posts: 705 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: "down-under"
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WNW,

You probably are in shock... it happens. Especially when we are so used to them being the barometer we set ourselves by. The walking on eggshells has physically ended, but the emotional part takes time.

Don't worry about his stuff, it will be there when you are ready. BTW the anger helped me to pack his stuff and move it out. I couldn't have handled doing that chore without the anger.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For the tribe....


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That estimated 16% of the population being NPD scares the heck out of me.

Reading all of the NPD/BPD material, I feel seriously guilty. I have gotton SO angry at this man at times. The immaturity and disrespectful behavior got to me so bad in the last year, I have gone off the deep end about 4 times. It's taken me days to calm down. Partly because as soon as I get upset, he walks out. Out the door, silent treatment, disappears for days. In December he disappeared for 2 weeks.

He has taken to calling me an "egoist" because I got upset and kept trying to call him a couple weeks ago. He said he was trying to access a contact on his cell and I kept interrupting him.

He refused to answer the call then. Never returned it, but emailed me to call me an egoist and mock me for trying to call him.

I am guessing a normal person would have answered the phone. What he does, though, is what he is doing now. Shut down social sites, won't answer the phone, walks out, refuses to answer email, puts on this massive public production of the "battered" male.

Which is kind of an insult. I know for a fact last year he slapped his ex wife in the face. Mother of his 3 month ( at the time) son, and he got mad enough at the lady to actually hit her.

Then he went and got drunk. Oh, I was so disappointed in him I cried. I couldn't believe he hit her. He has never hit me, but I think he may have it in him.

And I still miss this man and am sad he turned into this ugly thing in the last year in particularly. He really flipped over into this when OC was born.

Not a peeop out of him. I guess it's more important to him to abandon because he knows how it gets to me. 100% certain this silent treatment is intended to inflict as much hurt as possible.
Usually I am freaking and trying to call and call, email, get ahold of him.

Totally silent to him. Does this actually matter to him? I am just assuming he doesn't care about anything about me anymore.

I am stunned at how fast all of this goes down. :(


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 2:41 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread is really helping me! Thank you to all who are posting.

My XWH is in an affair with I believe a sociopath. She is ramping up the crazyness in my NPD XH mind, keeping him drunk, etc.

Anyway, he missed our child's IEP meeting at school. He emailed me back saying: yeah I missed it, you went, right?

AARRRGGGHHH.. I of coarse tried to explain to him why he needed to be there. On and on with common sense. I realize now I have to STOP trying to explain anything. He isn't gonna get it. EVER. I forgot he is nuts. I wish I would have read this thread earlier and just said, Oh that's an interesting way to look at it.

It's really tough dealing with this type of person (and I have 2 to deal with the OW AND my XH.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1713 | Registered: Jan 2012
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 5:00 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Kajem, thank you. My neighbor and I talked about it last night. She offered to do it for me, asked me to let her do it for me, that she wants to help. I feel it's important for me to do it as a step of gaining back more of my power. We decided on, she'll be here. I'm gonna do it, but she'll be here helping. I just don't want the trinkets and reminders here haunting me. I've only gone into my bedroom to get clothes over the past few days. Time to reclaim my home.

@Kalli, there will be an extinction burst. It will get worse before it gets better. The silent treatment IS a form of punishment right now. Once, MrWNW went dark 5weeks....I moved out of state, 230mi away. I was there less than a week, and he was calling me in shambles, saying how much he needed me right now, very vague. I wondered what was wrong, so I went, and when I went, he was there promising me all the things in the world, we could move back together, it would be so perfect, he'd used that time to think of how to make things better, and here I was, just started seeing someone new a few days prior (faaarrr too soon, don't do that, lol), moved 230mi out of state away. He was there trying to fix things, and I was throwing it all away. I was tempted, as I didn't know of NPD yet. I was there a few days, still hadn't decided, and I found out about his affair with the neighbor across the street. He wasn't spending those 5 weeks thinking of us and how to make things work. He was fucking the neighbor. He didn't go dark because of something I said. He gave me the silent treatment because he had a new supply. It's sick. Truly, and it will make you crazy. Fortunately, that time, I stayed put in the other state. Then his next move was to show me how faithful he could be even then. Drove the whole way, stayed with me every other week, seemingly constant availability on IM or phone when he wasn't there. I did get lured back to leaving all my new life, all my furniture, all my things, giving it all away, and moving back in Jan. 2012. Found out on Valentine's day that year, less than a month later, that he hadn't been faithful AT ALL. It was all a lie. He had been fucking his engaged ex-wife for months, asked her to move in with him just a few days before me. There was also multiple PAs with some true disgusting skanks, drug addicts, needle users, strippers. How little regard does he have for my life? You got to be kidding me!

All I can say, is APPRECIATE the silent treatment now. Learn to soothe yourself. Look up some exercises on that. Things like sensory meditation help, Susan Anderson describes a good separation therapy technique, physical activity, things like that. Any soothing they can provide is just a weapon to lure us in before the next blow. Prepare yourself for the extinction burst, because it will come. You don't want to be in a state of missing him and hoping to hear from him when it comes. It makes us all that more vulnerable. He knows that, which is why he's doing the silent treatment now. They're true monsters. Hugs to you, sweetie.

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 5:19 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 5:24 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Kalli, one more thing....

I know you've been watching a lot of videos, reading a lot, and it can feel very overwhelming.

Perhaps this link may help. It isn't about NPD or even humans. It's the training I use for the dog. It's called NILIF, or Nothing In Life Is Free.

I think it can easily be related to relationships too though. Why do they only treat us worse and worse? Because they've been "trained" that if they whine long enough, act badly long enough, we'll give them attention. We forget we have our power in these relationships. We rarely make it through the extinction bursts. I first heard of extinction bursts in an NPD book. How surprised was I to find it in a dog training guide?!

Ignore, ignore, ignore, totally now. But this helps explain why we need to ignore. It helps explain the psychology of where things went wrong. At this point, be very weary of even any "good behavior", as I said previously, it's just a lure. However, I hope the psychology of this link helps.

http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm

"People only treat us the way we teach them to treat us" (Dr. Phil, Life Law #8)

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 5:31 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Ready4NewStart
♂ New Member
Member # 38871
Default  Posted: 5:25 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Greetings Tribe. Finally I found the right place. I parked my story about my NPD EW on the "Just Found Out Forum" last week but will be glad to cut and paste it here for those that did not see it.

Anyway, I am a BH, 42 years old. Have any of you been with a NPD that is so good, they have managed to trick DR's ? My EXW was diagnosed with being "slightly narcisstic"....would hate to see the full blown version...Just curious about that.

I do have a heavy heart for those that have to maintain contact with their NPD spouse due to having children..I divorced mine 3 years ago and just last 2 weeks ago changed cell phone numbers so there really will be NC (zero children together)...Have not seen her since last August, but it was amazing how she would still try and lure me with texts (I refused to talk on the phone)

I think this is important to share bc I see so many beating themselves up over being involved with a NPD..MY Dday was in June of 2009...Filed for divorce in August 09 and it was final in March 2010..Tried to reconcile in 2011 and it only lasted 6 months...She has two children that I raised for 7 years, so that was hard for me to get past (not seeing them)...But finally last August I stopped the madness and walked away totally...But really until I changed cell numbers I did not feel totally on the road to recovery....Amazed at the difference.

I see you guys talking about the blame shifting and I can relate..My EXW was close with my mother and my Mom would call me and say "what in the hell is going on over there ?" EXW would have called her and told my Mom that I was doing all the crazy stuff that she was..She went so far as telling her friends that I was physically abusing her...That is when some people kind of went....ok, she might have a problem...I am 6'3" ex football player...If I ever layed a hand on her there would be marks and bruises...But guess what...she abused me...Got drunk and called the cops on me one night saying I had hit her...Cops looked at my arm and saw scratches and took her to jail....That was a huge blow to her ego....See I was supposed to be the bad guy.

I am starting to get to the point of wanting to date again..But I am scared..I am worried about triggers. I know I am on the road to healing, but a long way from healed..

Finding this site has been a true blessing. It has really helped with the humiliation and embarassment I felt knowing there are so many others like me out there

I am a big believer in knowledge being power so if I can add anything to help someone else, I will be glad too..

Some of the best advice I ever got (wish now I had listened 100%) was the one and only MC session me and my EXW attended together..The MC called me right after the session and said...(You need to run as far away from this woman as you can..Then don't date for at least a year)

I see so many people saying they cant believe their marriag and lives turned out this way..Add me to the list. Never thought I would let a woman beat my ass bc she was so good looking, but I did..

These people are predators..Something as small as texts on a cell phone was still having an affect on my life...So glad to be here


Me: BH 42
WW: NPD
DD: 6/2009
Divorced: 4/2010

Posts: 14 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southeast US
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome R4NS,

Have any of you been with a NPD that is so good, they have managed to trick DR's ?

This is common, and one of the main reasons very very few ever can recover.

told (fill in the blank) that I was doing all the crazy stuff that she was.Got drunk and called the cops on me one night saying I had hit her

Again, common NPD behavior. How unique and special we thought they were, right? Example, MrWNW pushed me down on the couch by my neck last summer because I was crying, due to his having sexual internet contact with the neighbor across the street, publicly, for all our friends to see on Facebook. Then called the cops on me, saying I threatened his life. I did not. What I had said, was "Touch me again, see what my dad does," to which he replied, "Your dad would fucking thank me", and I said, "My dad will fucking kill you." He didn't touch me like that again (ever) but called the cops. The cops took me out of there, said he was drunk and it wasn't safe for me to stay there, they begged me not to go back at all, but said that I'd at least have to stay away the night til he sobered up. Their response to what occurred was "Good for you. We've known him a long time. He's nothing but trouble. Nice to see he can't push everyone around. It's good you have your dad to protect you from him." Of course, I went back next day.

I am starting to get to the point of wanting to date again..But I am scared..I am worried about triggers. I know I am on the road to healing, but a long way from healed..

Are you in IC? What does your IC say about this? It's been 2 years...and yes, 1 year is a minimum, but there's no time frame. It's really when you are healthy enough and understand your personal boundaries enough. Sounds like you're in a great place of self awareness. That's why I ask if your IC feels you've accomplished that. If you're not in IC, maybe set up a few sessions, make up a personal goals and plan. Set up some strong written boundaries, things of that nature.

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 6:21 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

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