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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: BS Questions for WS's - Part 7
Offhispedestal
♀ Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, January 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope I can hear honest responses from WH's
Durning my H's A he did certain intimate things with MOW that he's never done with me. Like nibbling, biting.. WARNING TMI:

. The thing is she loved severe biting and choking. I do NOT care for choking...that's just not me. But I enjoy nibbling, biting and sucking on my H chest during sex. He does not like for me to do it. He jokes that it hurts but he only enjoys being the who bites. He might rarely let me do that once in a blue moon. Something that bothers me and I don't want to bring it up, I just don't. I remember twice that I saw my H during the A, his gym shirt was loose and I noticed SEVERE bite marks on his chest. I mean the like a 8"x"8 section of black and blues on him.

Why did he do that with her and act like he doesn't want to because it hurts??? I rarely trigger during sex but I did yesterday. We wanted to fool around and he started telling me everything he was going to do and I hesitated for one thing and he tells me " the word no doesn't exist"
I completely and totally went numb. He knew instantly that I had triggered and wanted me to tell him why I turned cold all of a sudden.
Today he asked me in a way like he knew why I triggered. I told him...
When he was in the A and living with her, he told me something pretty hurtful. He had said once " the word no doesn't exist with her"

Am I this severely traumatized that this still bothers me???? I think maybe he triggers himself when he attempts to passionately suck on my skin. I see him start but stop midway like he doesn't wantto hurt me but it was different with her.
I just wonder why can't we do these certain things but he was 100% in to do this to her.


ME-43
WH-45
Married 23


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 623 | Registered: Jun 2011
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, February 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What was the trade-off for him? Was the ego stroking, the fantasy of having an over the top OW what allowed him to let the OW do these things to him? Or are these things something he would feel guilty about the next day with you? Is there a chance that while things like this can be part of a normal, loving relationship, that he somehow feels embarrassed if his wife did these things to him? As far as him doing it to you, the level that he took it with OW sounds like it would hurt, so maybe he doesnít want to hurt you.

The A allows you to detach from reality and ignore some of those inhibitions that we usually have. Iím guessing that what he did with OW was disconnected from the emotional intimacy that he experiences with you.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6052 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
tooloyal
♀ Member
Member # 36310
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, February 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Questions for any single OW willing to answer...
Do they decide one day this is what I am want to do (have an affair)or is it something they develop over time, rather than have a real realtionship? Is the ego boosting/excessive flattery/love you etc right from the beginning or as the affair progresses? Why do they do it and is it in return for sex? Do they pretend to be emotionally attached to get what they want?
My WH & I have recently read some intersting articles on woman who do this rather than make the effort to have a healthy relationship in a normal way...
I apologise in advance if anyone is offended by this question, that's not my intention.

[This message edited by tooloyal at 3:55 PM, February 3rd (Sunday)]


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: UK
snookie
♀ Member
Member # 36569
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, February 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Too loyal, single former other woman here and this is just a personal answer based on myself...no i dident just decide on a whim one day to just go out and have an affair with another womans husband, for me personally it was a build up over a about 6 or 7 months of having a mutual crush on a man i pssed on the way to my workplace, i found out he was married a few months later through a mutual person we both know through a shop we both use at lunch breaks, he actually got my number and texted me, and things went from there, i would say the i love yous started roughly 5 months after i chose to get involved with him, why did i do it ? pure and simple selfishness on my part and the guilt was pushed to the back of my head about his wife and children as well as the people in my life ie, my family, friends who dident know at that time etc,,,i know there are some single other women who do all of the questions you asked and i cant answer for them but hope this helps just a little bit

Posts: 86 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: uk
tooloyal
♀ Member
Member # 36310
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, February 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you snookie for being good enough to answer
My WH wonders if OW develop a particular 'style' of ego boosting if they have done this before (as in our situation).
OW would increase ego boosting about sex, wear seductive clothing, love you etc to get WH attention or thought he was backing off.
As soon as I found out my WH ended his 3 month affair. We sent a NC email, OW was furious, phoned my H telling him how much she hated him for the lies (lies?? she knew from the start he was M) So, how can you 'love' someone one minute, than 'hate' them the next? Do single OW have the same 'fog' illusion/delusion as some WS, or do they have more clarity because they know what they are getting into from the start?
I wonder if, as long as the 'needs' of OW/AP/WS...are being met, then does anything go...its almost like a form of role play...

[This message edited by tooloyal at 5:00 PM, February 3rd (Sunday)]


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: UK
snookie
♀ Member
Member # 36569
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, February 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With me i had never been involved with a mm before, usually i told them where to go if they hit on me, i chose to be single and still am now through choice until i feel ready to commit, with ex mm as i said it was a mutual crush and i threw caution to the wind and was totally selfish to what i was willing to destruct within his marriage,, mm seen me at my best and worst in apperiance and i did wear sexy underwear etc not to seduce him but more to feel MY best as i would do in a normal relationship, i beleive ow can be in a "fog" although mine would swing from extreme guilt at what i was doing to stress, tiredness and then on the other extreme would push those feelings aside and be excited to see ex mm, when his 2nd dd came which was ironicly the day i sent him a nc text from reading on these forums and after a few wobbly starts at being nc on both parts i am not at the stage of being indifferent just yet and cant hate him as it was me who chose to take part in an affair, ex mm and me struggled at different times due to the dysfunctional dynamics of the situation, and i still beleive he is a good guy who made a poor decision at that time with me, he said he was happily married and couldnt leave, i never asked him too as it was bad enough being in the shadows of his marriage and now a few months later i cant beleive i did what i did and feel sick with shame some days when i think of him, his wife and his children, if more ow felt the full reality of an affair they may re think what they are doing as it was a haunting expreiance as well as bittersweet if that makes sense? ...i think love and hate has a fine line but dont think anyone can go from love to hate in an instant, i felt hate towards myself, anger toward ex mm and then shock and pain at what i did to his wife and children who do know what he did as he told his children on DD, since having nc i can look in the mirror and actually like who i am now, im maybe rambling now lol

Posts: 86 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: uk
navymom1
♀ Member
Member # 36007
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am hoping a WS can give me some insight !! I can't seem to get my head around this !
How can you have a 2 year EA/PA , fall in love with that person, make plans and then when you get caught walk away like it was nothing? Or do you harbor feeling that you just don't share with BS? I just don't understand why after 2 years and getting caught the marriage you have consciously destroyed is now good enough! Please any insight?



Me-40
WS-42
Married 1995
DDay# 1995
DDAY#2- Jan 9,2012 2yr EA/PA with howorker
2-DD 22/15 and a son 20 (US NAVY)
Was tryin to R but to many false r. lies upon lies and not helping me heal now Seperated.....

I forgive people, but that


Posts: 84 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: New Jersey
rockbottom2468
♀ Member
Member # 32496
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, February 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a pretty big punch to the gut last night and just want some perspective, even if it's ugly. Ex confessed last night that him and ow are splitting. The punch to the gut was that after 3 years, he feels like him and this young girl have a connection that he's never felt with anyone else. That they really and truely are soulmates. He loved me as much as he loved her, but it was different with her. They could just look at each other and that was enough to feel that connection that neither one of them can explain, but is just there. They just can't make their relationship work in the real world and have come to terms with that. He is heartbroken and devastated. Wth....I didn't need to know that. Made me feel worse than anything else because he sincerely believes everything he said. Did any of you feel this way? That your relationship/connection to your husband/wife paled in comparison to om/ow...even after 3 years (2 of which were active affair...)? Or am I just that lucky?

[This message edited by rockbottom2468 at 1:34 PM, February 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS-29
Him: XH-33
Dday: June 2011
Together: 13 years
Children: DD(8), DS (6), DD2 (8 months)
Status: He left for 20yo OW.

"Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger"


Posts: 1058 | Registered: Jun 2011
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, February 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can you have a 2 year EA/PA , fall in love with that person, make plans and then when you get caught walk away like it was nothing? Or do you harbor feeling that you just don't share with BS? I just don't understand why after 2 years and getting caught the marriage you have consciously destroyed is now good enough! Please any insight?

I am both a BS and a WS. I think it probably varies from person to person, but from my WS perspective the reason for walking away like it was nothing would be because the marriage is more important than the A and that consequences were either never thought out or the selfishness and entitlement was so all encompassing that it overrode all logic at the time.

t/j

(((rockbottom2468)))

I have read so many of your posts and for your WH to have stayed with such a loser and destroy his whole family because of a "soulmate" feeling is just absurd. Also if they can't make their relationship work in real life what kind of "soulmate" connection is that? I am sorry you had to hear that nonsense.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
In R
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." -Carl Sagan

Posts: 2251 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, February 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Navymom1

How can you have a 2 year EA/PA , fall in love with that person, make plans and then when you get caught walk away like it was nothing?

Because I didn't realize until literally that very minute that it wasn't worth it.

Once the reality of getting caught set in---and the reality is more than just "oh shit, my spouse knows"; it's dealing with family, friends, coworkers, splitting up houses/finances/logistics (and for some of y'all, kids)---sometimes the WS suddenly realizes that this isn't what they really want after all.

I think that, all things being equal, the AP and I could have had a perfectly adequate relationship. It certainly was adequate years before, when we were a legitimate couple. But all things weren't equal. Suddenly, the reality set in that being together meant actively rubbing ourselves in the face of the person (my then-H) that we betrayed; of being a shameful relationship in the face of family and friends rather than one of joy; of constantly living with the stain of what we had done being a part of our history. In that moment, I realized, "No thank you. That is not the kind of life I want."

Don't get me wrong: I had considered all this during the affair. I thought I had my eyes wide open. But thinking about it in the abstract is very different than actually being confronted with the reality.


Or do you harbor feeling that you just don't share with BS?

I no longer have romantic feelings for the AP. Any positive memory or feeling for him is tarnished by the fact that for him, I threw away my loving and sweet and good husband.


I just don't understand why after 2 years and getting caught the marriage you have consciously destroyed is now good enough!

It's a cliche but I think it's true: sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone (or about to be gone).


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciling after divorce


Posts: 1917 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, February 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rockbottom

I don't have advice for your situation, but I want to say that I'm sorry your XH is such an ass as to say that shit to you, and to ask WHY the hell is he telling you about his "heartbreak" over the OW anyway? I mean, seriously? Is he doing it to be deliberately cruel or does he have some reason to think you'd want to hear this??


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciling after divorce


Posts: 1917 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
tooloyal
♀ Member
Member # 36310
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, February 8th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Topic: Any WS struggle showing remorse, because of AP flattery/lies?
tooloyal
♀ Member
Member # 36310 Posted: 7:14 PM, February 8th (Friday), 2013

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We had a false recovery after affair was discovered, now we are committed to working on honest reconcillation.
One thing is preventing my WH showing complete remorse (which I need from him) is his difficulty in understanding why the OW lied about her feelings and ego boosting....it seems to be a part he struggles to accept....I feel he avoids the facts because he doesn't want to let go of the feeling it gave him....he says he knows she used him, he understands that, but why did she need to lie about her feelings etc....I said why wouldn't she, jealousy over what WH and I have....she told him she had never had someone love her for 26+ years, she would share him....of course she's got to say something/anything to keep him going back....
I would really appreciate any WS/AP who found themselves in this situation and what helped them to finally accept lies are part of justifying an affair.....
We want to move forward as for the last 3 months progress has been very good

Really hope some WS in particular can help my WH understand/make sense of the lies told by AP/WS and allow him to finally be remorseful (he wants this as well).....

[This message edited by tooloyal at 1:29 PM, February 8th (Friday)]



Posts: 126 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: UK
She-Ra
♀ Member
Member # 36033
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, February 8th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi tooloyal,

Your WH is still wrapped up in the affair fantasyland and fun feelings it gave him. It's easy to think that your affair was special and unique. For me I became wrapped up in the newness of meeting someone and all the flattery.

It wasn't until I spent some time on SI and learned that it's all part of the affair formula. That you used them and vice versa. I had to learn that EVERYONE who is a wayward follows the same recipe with AP lies and flattery to get what they want from you too. I remember feeling like a bigger idiot for falling for all the shit.

I'm not sure where your WH would learn that his affair was not special and the lies are typical for any wayward unless he joined SI as well and had a good dose of smarten the fuck up from other waywards. There is no book or online resource for the special type of 2x4s that only the SI wayward section would provide.


FWW 33 BH 33
Met 8 yrs ago, together for 6, married for 3
Dday Aug 10, 2012
Beautiful baby daughter born June 2013
Now in limbo.. I'm allowed to have deal breakers too

The WW formerly known as messedupchick


Posts: 736 | Registered: Jul 2012
tooloyal
♀ Member
Member # 36310
Default  Posted: 3:08 AM, February 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Messedupchick....thank you!
My WH has looked at posts on S1 (usually if I leave the page open), and he has read a couple of books....but, he says he finds it difficult as it makes him uncomfortable
Unfortunately he 'looked' at the OW in the same way as me....someone he can trust and doesn't lie
I keep reminding him the question he should be asking himself is 'why wouldn't she lie'.
WH affair is almost a text book case, so many posts on S1 I have thought he or me had posted!!
I know WH finds it scary to face the full reality of what he has done....but sadly (for me) if he cannot be remorseful, it tells me he is still attached to the 'buzz' of the ego boosting (not necessarily OW) which I feel is dangerous as he may do the same thing again. True, genuine remorse and really 'getting it' would stop most people in their tracks from ever making the same mistake again, or inflicting that kind of pain on someone they care about...
I know in some respect I am emotionally stronger than him (because I analyze/ communicate & in IC) Maybe I'm too easy on him, because despite this awful thing, he is a good man....but I wonder if he is using this to avoid doing his part or at least set the pace of reconciliation
It's so frustrating and hard, no matter how much I want off this rollercoaster, it doesn't seem to be stopping....yet

[This message edited by tooloyal at 3:16 AM, February 9th (Saturday)]


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: UK
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 3:40 AM, February 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just posted on the reconcilliation board a question about trust. It is not that I think he will cheat again, that is not the issue. The issue is me believing that I am not the default, just the comfortable alternative to her. That is a perfect world he would rather be with her.

He has tried to convince me (for two years) but I still have those doubts. Have any of you waywards had success in convincing your BS that they are truly the one they want to be with, and if so, how did you do it. I am tired of wondering about this. I am a strong person, and this weakness in myself makes me want to puke. Thanks in advance. K


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1182 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Fidelia
♀ Member
Member # 38345
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, February 10th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would any WS be willing to share with m how long it took to get back into the habit of telling the truth and not holding things back. I'm not just talking A things, but in general.

My WH has been keeping secrets from me for years, incl an EA about 4.5 yrs ago and a 2 year EA/PA that ended recently. He's finding it hard to get used to being honest and not holding back about some day to day stuff. I'm finding that this triggers me very badly and I'm almost at my emotional limit. I need some perspective, please.


Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)

"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13

"Oh God give me


Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2013
greenink99
♀ Member
Member # 38160
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, February 10th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got booted off the WS thread, someone here has advice?

I never thought my WH was even capable of lying until last year. Integrity was his middle name. We've been together a very long time, so I truly thought I knew the man. I can understand now that maybe that was a heavy crown to wear. Now I hardly have any communication with him and the minor communication we do have are usually easily found out lies.

I would like to understand why he lies? And I would like to understand how to approach him about him lying to our kids. He is in Mexico right now, when he said he was at a work training in Texas. I've snooped enough to feel confident that he is in Mexico with another couple and with OW. He lied to daughters about his trip, again saying he was working in Texas, and then he called dd17 from a strange phone number - which she googled and it was Cabo San Lucas. Not too bright, dear.

So what to do with this information? Ultimately, I feel that I know the true man and he is in a well of self abuse and hatred now. I worry for him greatly, knowing the permanent damage he's caused to his relationship with our daughters. He has never wanted to R with me, he just walked out and never looked back. I didn't know about OW for many months, because he lied to me. Lied to our girls, telling them he would never cheat on their mother while he was in the act of doing it.

I assume he'll be back next week and daughters are now sick of the lies and don't want to have anything to do with him. I assume he will contact dd17 when he returns and try to make arrangements to see her. She wants me to intercede. I was also lied to, so feel that I need to make a stand for my own pride and for my girls, but how to do it?

Before he left, I would have been a screaming mess. It would have been bad, I would have looked to cause the most pain. Fortunately, I have changed. I don't want to hurt him, I want him to understand what his lies are doing! I've begged for his honesty and realize now that he's never promised it, but I again assumed that if he knew I was begging for honesty he would oblige.

Do I just state the facts? "daughters and I know you've been on a romantic honeymoon with ow and we do not accept your lies any longer. Girls do not wish to hear from you for the time being." Do I try to persuade him? "Can't you see the damage you are causing? Are you proud of this man you've become? Who are you? Our daughters deserve honesty and truth!"

In my self discovery and inner healing, I feel I truly have an understanding of his self hatred and I feel bad for him. I would have tried to help him heal himself and our relationship for my family. I never wanted to lose our marriage. But nothing has changed and he still lies.

So from a WS point of view, why does he lie? And what would be the most effective way of confronting him?


me 39
him 42
M 21.5 yrs
2DD

S 6/29/12
DD 10/18/12
starting D summer 2013


Posts: 132 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: West Coast
phoenix54
♂ Member
Member # 36574
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, February 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please help. I'm trying to understand why, after 9+ months, my wife is not consistently remorseful. She has been NC since d-day. We continue in MC. Some days, I can see the remorse. Other times, she is so consumed by her own feelings. Today she admonished me for having angry feelings. I've reached my limit and I posted on SI earlier today that I don't think I can R with someone who is not selfless enough to support me through this. Any advice?


BH: 45 (me)
WW: 43
11 month PA/EA
4 children
D-day: 5/4/12
Married: 17 years
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 436 | Registered: Aug 2012
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, February 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix...

Today she admonished me for having angry feelings.

I think one of the biggest mistakes a WS can make is not having the patience with a BS through the long haul of all the emotions.

I know I had to catch myself a couple times the first two years after d-day with not losing my cool and getting angry.

It requires a concious effort on the WS's part to stay calm, understanding and patient. Maybe if you can explain that to her it will help pull herself in when she feels her anger rising.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 192075 | Registered: May 2002
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, February 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please help. I'm trying to understand why, after 9+ months, my wife is not consistently remorseful. She has been NC since d-day. We continue in MC. Some days, I can see the remorse. Other times, she is so consumed by her own feelings. Today she admonished me for having angry feelings. I've reached my limit and I posted on SI earlier today that I don't think I can R with someone who is not selfless enough to support me through this. Any advice?

Her getting angry is not good, you do need support and anger is not an emotion that should be shown when you need support as a BS. Now this may not be popular but understand that if she is working through her shit there are going to be days when it consumes her and it is not easy to pull out of that. Those days it may not be that she is not remorseful but that the enormity of her actions have hit her and she needs time to process as well. It's not fair but the WS is growing, changing and learning throughout this process and one of the hardest things I found were the days that my actions hit me and as much as I wanted to be there for my BS I was a useless mess because I was living the pain of what I had done to him and myself. Perhaps talking to her and having her communicate why she gets so caught up in herself will help both of you.

ETA: I am in no way supporting her angry behavior, that is not right no matter what.

[This message edited by Unagie at 9:05 PM, February 11th (Monday)]


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


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