Edit: my wording was insensitive and read very poorly. Edited to better express myself.
[This message edited by Amazonia at 9:18 AM, February 24th (Sunday)]
Even though I didn't meet anyone I wanted to have a relationship with, I did have a lot of fun and interesting experiences.
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
I really didn't mean to imply you didn't have a sense of humor, that your life wasn't full, that you choosing not to date means you aren't healing, or otherwise insult you!
I don't think there's anything wrong with not dating, or you. In fact, it sounds like you're being very wise not to date, with your circumstances and motivations. Please accept my apologies for the way my comment came across to you - and be assured that the way it was read was definitely not the way it was meant!
ETA: I think being healed before dating is good, but I don't think the inverse is necessary - it's not like anybody hits a point where they are X-amount healed (however you measure that ) and suddenly the next step is supposed to be dating. There's nothing wrong with not dating, and I would never mean to tell anyone that there is!
[This message edited by Amazonia at 9:44 AM, February 24th (Sunday)]
[This message edited by EasyDoesIt at 10:42 AM, February 24th (Sunday)]
The first words out of my mouth "I am not into pain." He did not skip a beat with his answer.."You don't have to receive, you can give."
We went to the event... with me quizzing him asking which of our mutual friends know of his 'safe' room. I wanted to avoid them setting me up in the future.
We joke he was ahead of his time.. This was almost 10 years ago. Now he is very sought after for his room.
Still not my cup of tea.
Kajem, did many of your friends know? That's a pretty big revelation on a first date!
One couple is very into that sort of thing... which did NOT surprise me. One or 2 others know about the room, but he didn't know if they indulged or not.
I started to type that I can't imagine talking to friends about my sex life, but then I realized...I totally do talk to my girls about everything.
Is it too soon to bump this? I think we could all use a good laugh (or at least...I could )
Great! I love this thread.
OLD guy: Would you send me your undies if I asked?
Me: Do people really do that???
OLD guy: Yes, last OLD girl sent me two pairs after she pleasured herself in them first.
Me: Sorry - no.
OLD guy: I don't mean today. I mean if we get into a relationship.
(Nothing screams 'please date me, I am a gem' like asking for my undies in the first email)
At his suggestion I met an OLD guy at a wine tasting. A wine tasting in a grocery store. Granted it was the liquor department of the grocery store and he said the wine club he was in was sponsoring it, but it was still in a florescent lit, white tiled grocery store. We stood in the aisles of the liquor department drinking wine for ah hour. I wasn't that attracted to his picture on line, but decided since he wrote well that I was being too choosy. I wasn't.
We began talking with another couple at the "wine tasting", my date didn't know them but they were very interesting so I invited them to go along with us to dinner! I didn't want to be alone with this guy, didn't know of a way to get out of the dinner part of the date and thought at least this way it might be less "date like". I really enjoyed meeting the other couple! I let them in on what was happening while my date was in the BR and they were very understanding and nice.
Poor man didn't get the hint...and I had to say "I don't think we are a match" when he asked for a second "date" as he walked me to my car. ugh.
[This message edited by better4me at 9:39 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]
Why would anyone do that, ever?? I mean, you're already questioning your judgment and then something like that happens?
Needless to say, NC after that! (Although I still have no explanation for it.)
Anyway, date #2 -- he was in a similar timeline from S/D than me, worked in an intriguing-to-me field, seemed nice enough. We met at a local bookstore that has a food court kind of thing as a spontaneous while-we-were-chatting idea. He was painfully nervous and spent the entire time talking about his ex once he learned that I am in school to be a psychologist. I truly felt like it was a therapy session. We parted after maybe 2 hours and he sent me a text by the time I got home saying he thought I was beautiful. Ok. Next morning at 7 am, my phone starts going off. By 8:30 he had sent I thik 5 messages, all saying how he felt like we had a special connection, begging me to see him again that day, etc. I finally gave up on sleeping and sent him a message via OKC that I was not feeling it and that perhaps he should think about whether he was really ready to date given what he had said last night and the intensity with which he was responding to a 2 hour conversation. He continued ALL DAY to send me increasingly detailed messages full of personal information. I ignored and spent the day with my kids and then finally that evening wrote him back and told him to knock it off. Creepy!!
A few days later I closed my OKC account because I went exclusive with the guy I am seeing now. I wonder what he thought of that!
[This message edited by peacelovetea at 8:42 PM, April 10th (Wednesday)]
I had a date with this man when my son was about five years old. He seemed very nice, and we appeared to have a lot in common. But then he flat-out asked me, and I quote, "so, why did you have your son? Why didn't you just have an abortion? It seems to me that that would have been the best thing to do and I'm not sure I understand why you didn't have an abortion. Don't you think that would have been the best thing to do, for both you and your son?" EXACT quote.
I sat there stunned for a few minutes, then I asked him quietly if he were actually serious and not just displaying a sick sense of humor. He was surprised and said he was very serious, and why would I think otherwise? I grabbed my purse, stood up, said goodbye and for him not to call or contact me again, and left the restaurant. We hadn't ordered yet, so there was no bill to worry about.
Fortunately, I never heard from him again, but I've never, ever forgotten that. When I told my now-husband about it, he must have shook his head for about five minutes.