Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Devestatedbeyond (44583)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What I'm sorry for...
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Impressive!..Great Job ThornyRose


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2480 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
newbeg2011
♂ Member
Member # 31892
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, July 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thorny rose
Thank you for setting a example of what a Wayward should do for their spouse. I know that took a huge amount of courage.
You have inspired me to dig deeper. I never gave this detailed a letter to my wife. I hope you continue to heal


Never forget what I have done to BS but don't let guilt make me quit. STAY IN THE FIGHT ! ! !
WS 47 me
BS 47 her
5 Great Children
DD 1/15/11

Posts: 213 | Registered: Apr 2011
ihatehim
♀ Member
Member # 35646
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, July 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This makes my heart shift... I'm glad that you were able to do this I'm sorry letter.... I wish my FWH could do the same.... He says he is sorry... But I don't think he really know what he did unless it is broken down in ways that we both understand. Thank you for this. 👍


Me: 33
Him:31
Ow: 27 (worked together)
Married 6years, 2 kids

Posts: 66 | Registered: May 2012
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, October 17th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BUMP for SadSpouse


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
OktoberMest
♀ Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, October 17th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just might have to take a leaf out of your book TR...wow - well done. That's must have been tough to do, but so worthwhile.

Also just wanted to let you know how impressed LonelyHusband is - he just read this a said really well done, he can really feel your pain; but the value of that list of apologies and how you phrased it is limitless.


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, October 17th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..that was one 'helluva' comprehensive list!

..my hat's off to you.

..my fWW has not given me a list of 'sorries' but could easily use quite a number of yours.

..i wonder if she ever read them here when you originally posted?

well doe ThornyRose..

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4116 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, October 17th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...for all the BSs out there that need to see what remorse looks like.

True Remorse is gentle, kind, compassionate, patient and tender. It is surrendering to the truth no matter how scared you are.

It's not merely understanding what you've done to your spouse or feeling sorry/guilty for their hurt. IMO STBXWH betrayed himself too so it should not be just my pain he was feeling, but his own.

With true remorse a BS can reach a place of not defining their WS by their betrayal. A WS will also stop defining themselves by it too.

You are owning your shit TR and that is an amazing thing most are incapable of. Remember to take the time to be really proud of yourself for that.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 8:40 PM, October 17th (Wednesday)]


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5526 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
SurprisinglyOkay
♀ Member
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, October 18th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is awesome! Thanks for sharing it with us!!


FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
2 children


"Your secrets keep you sick"


Posts: 1130 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, October 19th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

StrongButBroken:
With true remorse a BS can reach a place of not defining their WS by their betrayal. A WS will also stop defining themselves by it too.

This is a great perspective, and very well articulated!


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, February 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for some people in need


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
DL14
♂ Member
Member # 9189
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, February 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW said she was sorry a few times, but never said why. At one point I told her she didn't have to apologize anymore. It was empty.
I so wish she could have apologized like your original post. It would have meant the world to me.
I can tell that came from your heart.


Me: 50
Her: 49
D-Day 11-15-05
D-Day #2&3 12/2012
Married: 30
Who will care 100 years from now.

Posts: 166 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: Montana
StixNstones
♀ Member
Member # 37458
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, February 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never posted on this forum before, but I had to for this one.

Getting a very detailed apology from my WH would be huge for R. Especially one you could read over whenever you feel the need.

This is pretty awesome!

Sounds like your very remorseful and getting it. I hope some WS can learn from your example. It must have been very hard to dig that deep and then to write it all out.

Good job TR!!


BS (Me): 37
WH: 40

Dday: March 2011 (found out EA Phone records)
2nd Dday: June 18, 2011 (OW told me about WH secret phone)
3rd Dday: December 13, 2012 (found evidence WH stalking Ow on FB)
4th Dday: February 4, 2013 (confession of 2nd secret


Posts: 99 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: East Coast
CrappyLife
♂ Member
Member # 37630
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, February 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BH here. This list is so detailed and awesome. Must have taken a lot of courage to do it.

My WW could use a lot of the things written there.


BBF-turned-BH: 28 (Me)
WGF-turned-WW: 28 (EmotionalFool)
POS1: a 'friend'? WW believed it was my 'best friend'!
POS2: her senior at work!
Together - 6 years
Married - 1.5 years
D-Day- 15/10/12

Don't know where we are headed..


Posts: 276 | Registered: Nov 2012
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, February 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember reading this months ago and loving it. I would love to get a list like this someday. Wonderful job!


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 530 | Registered: Dec 2012
ivbeenchtd
♀ New Member
Member # 38745
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, March 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is what every bs needs to hear..and its not just the words..but the work you did to be able to express them..


Me 44 bs
He. 36 ws
False R..now on the fence

"The hardest part of finally seeing you was accepting what I see"


Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: florida
STILLWANTHIM
♀ New Member
Member # 37717
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, March 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not posted before, but I have to say I truly loved this post. I agree,it would be wonderfull to recieve something like this from my wh.


Me bs 58
Him ws 57
Married 36 years
Children 2, grandchildren 3
Dday 1 2012-11-03, Dday2 2012-12-08
Dday 3 2013-06-20 separating

Posts: 17 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Ontario
1985
♂ Member
Member # 28171
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, March 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am truly impressed. Getting a letter like that, that speaks from the heart and explains truly how you feel inside and what is in your head would be a blessing beyond description for a betrayed spouse. I am certain your husband cherishes that letter and that it will help him immensely in his healing.


Me-BH 63
Her-fWW 63
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
DDay June, 1985
DDay June 1985
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 4 grandkids

Posts: 591 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest - large city
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am certain your husband cherishes that letter and that it will help him immensely in his healing.

Indeed!

Although, I wouldn't quite use the word cherish. More like this was a building block in the foundation of our R. I struggle to read thru this whole thing, as it really triggers me. I've read it maybe 10 times since she sent it to me.

[This message edited by DWBH at 7:42 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
hurting7897
♀ Member
Member # 34761
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bravo to you for writing this letter to your BS. I couldn't read it all (too many triggers) but having gotten a similar one from my FWH, I can feel your sincerity and remorse. Writing that must've been incredibly painful and that is exactly what we BS need from our FWS.

I am always glad to read posts like this one where a FWS really "gets" it.
Congratulations!


Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2014-Forgave him! Life is sweet!

Posts: 226 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: united states
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a true gift you have given your BS. Beautifully painful, in a good way.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Topic Posts: 44
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.