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User Topic: "No Reason to Stay?" A thread for BS's
itsovernow
♀ Member
Member # 35587
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh wow! I'm glad I found this topic. I always respect others opinions when others here have told me to run, but there are reasons I'm not running, at least not right now. I'm glad I found this. Now I can express some of the reasons I'm staying. I don't have a ton of time right now since I have little ones but hopefully later on I'll come back on and find some people to talk to. I just wanted to say Hello.


feeling like I'm going crazy.
me 35
dh(wondering if he really wandered) 40
5 kids between us ages 1-17

Posts: 123 | Registered: May 2012 | From: crazyville
mychild
♀ Member
Member # 40186
What?  Posted: 12:59 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Why do I stay?
I know exactly why I stay: to put it bluntly.....fear

1. Fear of never being able to be a father because at the age of 48 I'm too old now to date any woman young enough to be interested in having kids. (WW is 39 and still expresses that she wants to have children but time is running out.)"

Hi 3X:

I'm so glad to see so many men on this forum - not glad you have to be here, but glad you are on the forum for comfort.

This is my first post here, so I wanted to contact you first because of the child issue. I had my only child at 44 and she is everything. My H has cheated on me throughout our whole history together 20+ years. I just found out last year - because - he did it during work hours so I would never find out.

Anyway = I married a real JERK to put it lightly. BUT my child is the best child in the whole universe - period. God or whoever decided that if I was going to get the best child in the whole universe I would have to give something up - what I thought was a good husband. Really. That is how I see it now. I love my child so much. Everyone who meets her loves her. Everywhere I go people honestly flock to see her. I feel like I am a body guard to a rock star.

Why am I telling you this? Because if you really want a baby - do it now! You can have the child and life of your dreams. You are getting old - yes, you are - not old as in dead, but old as in parenting. Children want young parents and the older you get and wait the more you will wish you had them years ago. I am now getting in the best shape of my life and people always think I am in my early to mid thirties! So get that woman pregnant now - and just maybe with therapy and even hypnotism (yes I just started and now my Jerk wants to do it) and couples therapy and treating her like a queen and yet giving her the 180 and her seeing you as someone who is so wonderful yet can leave at anytime will make her want to finally become a good human with great character.

My child was not enough for my husband to change. But losing her and me full time finally got him to change. He goes to counseling 1 X a week plus 2 twelve steps once a week.

She will only change when you decide that you don't need her - YET - you have to hang in there (without her knowing it), get her pregnant, get her eating well, get her happy (she is terribly unhappy if she is cheating), etc. and the way to do that is again to be prince charming at all times yet not rely upon her for your happiness. Keep sexy - she notices, trust me. Keep happy, she notices, trust me. Exude sexiness and other women will notice - but don't let it go to your head - they may be just as miserable as the devil you know or worse.

Keep your head high. You may just get the rockstar child I have in the end and really that sounds what you really want. She makes me so happy. She makes my husband so happy. But he was the jerk. Yes, I'm staying for her. But if he wasn't doing the work I would not stay for her.

I hope this gives you some uplift!

[This message edited by mychild at 9:40 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


Posts: 53 | Registered: Aug 2013
mychild
♀ Member
Member # 40186
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itsovernow:

"Oh wow! I'm glad I found this topic. I always respect others opinions when others here have told me to run, but there are reasons I'm not running, at least not right now. I'm glad I found this. Now I can express some of the reasons I'm staying. I don't have a ton of time right now since I have little ones but hopefully later on I'll come back on and find some people to talk to. I just wanted to say Hello. "

Dear Itsovernow:

I'm glad you are here too - not because you have been betrayed - but because we all need support in this very common and unspoken part of relationships.

What I do like about this forum is that there is so much more support than some other forums - can I mention one? Sorry if I'm not supposed to. When I was going through the first few months of hell, I came upon talk about marriage and found the coping with infidelity. Well, I thought the sub forum "coping with infidelity" meant that people were actually coping with infidelity. What I found instead and what worsened my already complete PST TRAUMA with all caps is that I was attacked for staying.

Can I believe that? Can you believe that? How can someone who has chosen to stay either out of necessity or other reasons be so unrelentlessly attacked. Shouldn't there be support? Should we be there holding each others hands even if we decide that there husband is a jerk or worse? Yes, I do believe we should be able to attack the betrayer - up and down - but not the betrayed upon.

So I can't wait until you post, as you actually sound like you need to post - not just rant about how everyone should leave their S.O. or spouse because they cheated. Well, duh, we don't need to be told that, we feel it. Everyone feels that. Duh. Doesn't need rocket science to say what we feel - like ya, if I didn't have love for the betrayer, if I didn't rely upon the betrayer, if he wasn't the only family I ever felt I had, if she didn't have my children and was a great mom, just a bad wife, if, if, if.

So that is why we stay. We already know the world wants us to leave...and, like why? Why do they want us to leave so badly? What's in it for them? To meet these betrayers and date them or something? Because for every betrayed that leaves a betrayer - they are still out there - the same person and will probably continue the same behavior unless they get a lot of help.

[This message edited by mychild at 1:15 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


Posts: 53 | Registered: Aug 2013
sparklezombie
♀ Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad I found this topic. I honestly am finding it hard to stay. WH has been unfaithful for most of our 11 year marriage. I believe he recently was unfaithful on his last business trip this month. He says nothing happened, but I don't believe it. He won't come clean, he won't own up and admit everything he has done.

Our pattern is that he gets unhappy (because I don't listen, don't appreciate him, don't have sex enough, etc.), then he goes online to a dating site or sex site or affair site, messes around and eventually finds someone to sleep with. I find out, he admits to the bare minimum he can get away with and we "move on" until the next storm blows through (when I find more crap).

I confronted him last night about the most recent cheating. He swears nothing happened - just drinks, no sex. Still cheating in my book. He also was crying, saying we haven't worked on our marriage enough, we can make it work, he doesn't want to be an EOW dad, he just wants me to listen to him, and if I leave I won't be moving back in (I told him I was moving out).

So I don't really know what to do But honest I don't see a good reason to stay. I don't see him being truthful and open with me. I don't see him being fully remorseful. I know he doesn't like our marriage being the way it is, but I don't know that he's open to really making the personal changes necessary to make it work. I also think he still blames me for most of our issues, including his cheating, which is not okay. So to stay or to go? That is the eternal question...


BS: Me
WH: Husband
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 222 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
mychild
♀ Member
Member # 40186
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SparkleZombie:

Unless he fully discloses - there is no hope, honestly. My H cheated on for over 25 years - because I did not know, so therefore he didn't have to be honest so therefore he continued his fun lifestyle - to men, see, having sex is really fun - maybe there are men out there that say only sex with their wives or girlfriends is fun - but to cheaters, the sex outside of marriage is really, really fun. They do it because they really, really enjoy it. Some say they felt shame. Really? Shame? Or is it that they don't like that they are being questioned and think that the bad feelings are shame and they don't really understand feelings, so therefore any non sexual good feelings must be shame or something. I really believe that cheaters are so not in touch with their own feelings and emotions that they confuse everything and do not even know their own truth. All they know is that they want what they want and then do it. Ask a 2 year old or a 5 year old why they do what they do. They cannot explain it - they just do it. And that to me is where cheaters are - they do it because they do it because they want to do it because they like to do it and that's it.

So why would they stop doing something that is so enjoyable to them? If there is no accountability - they don't stop. My H just last night - after a year of trickle truth and him going to counseling and men's groups finally confessed after I asked him for a year now, what he feels sometimes when he passes by massage parlors - his favorite acting out places. He told me all this time that nothing ever crosses him mind or that the only thing he thinks of is the devastation he has created. Now, last night, he finally said that he does wonder what it would be like in those places - if it would be like in the places he used to go to.

So there you go - it never stops. I'm still here. I still have the best child in the world. But I am married to the worst jerk. He can't even admit to me a feeling - a true feeling. He still lies. Even about feelings - to this day - after a year of therapy and a year of seeing me destroyed day after day after day. Unfortunately my daughter has witnessed some occassions, so he even sees what it does to her. But instead of coming completely clean about his true feelings - he has lied. How if he can't come clean about his thoughts - how can he come clean if he cheats again - which he has stated to me that he wrote in an agreement that even before he would cheat he would call me so that I could go to a lawyer and start the proceedings. But - he lied for a year about even his thoughts.

So I'm telling you - your husband cannot ever come clean to you - unless he goes to intensive therapy - it sounds like. Do you have any savings? Do you really want to stay married to him? If you do - look up sites like Stop Sex Addiction - by Milton Magness just to mention one. Here in SoCal there are several sex addiction clinics.

Look up Inst. of Sexual Health in LA. There are at least 5 others in LA alone. MN has some. Texas has several. There are several in many states.

He will continue to lie and act out because that is what he wants to do and will do it no matter what because he has not come clean to you. Only when he has come completely clean and told you his whole history - a complete disclosure with dates, what he did, who he did it with, what he did on the computer, what he did sexually, what strip joints he went to and how many times, what peep shows he went to and how many times, how much money he spent on each trip of his acting, how many times he has been with 2 women or 2 men or 1 and 1 or 4 somesomes or whatever he has done.

Mine liked one on one. That was his thing. Loved the perfect body and perfect faces of beautiful young sex workers - I'm almost 50.

It's hard - but what you are going through now is worse. If he cannot go to an intensive - then there is no way he can really be helped. An intensive, I feel, is what he needs. My husband could not go to an intensive because we owed a lot of money to lawyers and etc and yet the director of ISH still said to him - lose your house then. That is how far he has to go, Zombie. If you want him to stay with you and really change - he has to lose it all. That means you, any children, his house, for total treatment or you will be in this hell - of him cheating and you knowing nothing forever until you suffer in health or whatever.

Just my dollar's worth. I've read tons of books. I've talked with several counselors. I've gone to many sanon and cosa meetings. I've done research. The only thing I haven't done is get my sex addiction degree.... So that's my advice to you. If you want to save your marriage as it sounds like you do - you must be willing to lose it.

Good luck and keep posting.

[This message edited by mychild at 1:21 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 53 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like this thread. My friends and family are no longer interested in listening to me...I get a. Either shit or get off the pot look.

Why do I stay?
I've lived my life fear based. Afraid to.take chances, afraid of failing.

He's all I know. I've been with him since hi school and try to see a future without him...but I can't

During the beginning of A, I was also dealing with DS heroin addiction. For 8 yrs I have been afraid my son would die plus had a ws that not only didn't help me with DS, but chose to check out and check in with ow.
So in a nutshell, I'm.exhausted. I'm broke, I'm tired and not yet ready for another endeavor.

I might still love him. I care about him. I pity him. I want him to be a better man, before I hate his guts and
its too late.

I have RA..my treatment is thousands of $ every other month and without his insurance, I would not be able to pay for it.

This is the biggie...this is no longer about him. I can't blame him. I had a choice and I.let him stay. I could have him leave any time I want but I don't. So I need to figure out WHY I let someone continue to disrespect me by having ow and STILL make him dinner every night. I have to work on myself and until I figure me out, he may as well be here.
I'm happy I found this thread though...really


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Status..%&$#@?$

Posts: 3985 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad I found this thread too. I feel like no one supports my decision to stay. Everyone (family, friends, MC, IC, SI) tells me to leave. I came to SI for advice on how to make it work though, because I didn't want to leave. It seems like the common response is always that I don't respect myself for staying. I've heard it so many times that I'm starting to question whether I do respect myself.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 734 | Registered: Jul 2013
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lonelygirl...I hear ya on that. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people that just flip out and demand answers.....but I'm not. Always afraid of making a mistake.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Status..%&$#@?$

Posts: 3985 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
ArableSands
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a thousand reasons to stay, and exactly one reason to leave. Some days, that reason is just about enough to surmount the 1000 others. But I'm only 5 weeks out and we're in MC.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
ArableSands
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lonelygirl110

Only you can decide if you want to stay or not. If you do stay, you are giving your cheating spouse an incredible gift, a second chance at trust and a loving marriage.

If he doesn't see that gift for what it is, you DO need to leave.

Your family and friends are not you. They don't suffer like you do every day. They don't feel what's on the line. You do. You make your own decisions. It's your life. I'm a stranger to you, but I support you.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
lovehatelove
♀ Member
Member # 42541
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanna leave.. divorce is my ultimate goal.. I feel like I don't have a reason to stay... I don't like my WH.. I hate him.. I depise him.. I want him to hurt.. I want him to feel pain.. I want him to feel the hurt that I feel....

I constantly belittle him.. I constantly make him feel like shit for what he did... I don't know how else to treat someone I hate

I feel like he deserves everything I throw at him......

I trusted him when he said he would never cheat.. I trusted him when he said cheating is something that he will NEVER do.. I wholeheartedly believed him!!!!!

and now I'm a fool.....

[This message edited by lovehatelove at 12:23 AM, February 24th (Monday)]


DDay ~ 2/23/13

Posts: 163 | Registered: Feb 2014
joannie
♀ Member
Member # 42486
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stay. friends are fed up with hearing me harp on about it, I stay because its all I know 34 yeras is a long time , but most i still love him and don't want to be without him, makes me feel ill to think it could still happen. I stay so we may work it out, i let hi get away with contact with the OW, why am scared to push him about it.
I stay so maybe i should shut up and except my lot in life !
I stay as I must be mad


me BS 56yr
Him WS 55yr
Married 34 years 2 sons 4 grandchildren

Posts: 119 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: France
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a thousand reasons to stay, and exactly one reason to leave. Some days, that reason is just about enough to surmount the 1000 others. But I'm only 5 weeks out and we're in MC.

Bingo AS.

An A may be a deal breaker for some, but I believe you ave to balance it off with the good of the relationship.

I'm not saying this applies to serial cheaters, abusers, etc..but sex and intimacy are a small part of a relationship (probably occupies less than 1/24 of a day or 4%).

I'm not trying to minimize anything. I'm just saying if you look at the bigger picture, it may make the path to healing easier, at least in a Vulcan like, logical sense.

People fail. A are a huge failure, but shouldn't define the person.


Me: BH (43) Her FWW 41

DDay: Christmas Time 2012

In Home separation for a year, S for 3 months.now back together and healing

She has childhood issues that she only began to address after the affair.

R'ing going very well


Posts: 99 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
msmaggiemags
♀ Member
Member # 7484
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy that I found this. I was just getting ready to say goodbye to SI because I felt like anything I would post would be hit with a 2 x 4, not that there hasn't been great advice and some helpful PM's.
My story is long. But my H has been a cheater for our whole lives together. And that is almost 13 years. He cheated when we were dating and he has cheated at least twice that I know of since we have been married. He has had several EA's and some pornographic photo exchanges with friends, and even proposed M! So I am crazy for being with him I know that, the world knows that but here I am! We have two kiddos, and we have a house, three cars, etc. I am in school and have one more year to go for my degree, and then maybe I will leave?? I am not happy, I am not in love, I am just MEH He probably will never change, says he sorry, acts remorseful for while, or until he finds his next victim. I even filed for D this last dday and never ever served him papers, just told him about it. SO basically I am a doormat.


Me 42
Wh 36
Ds 11
Dd 7
Dday 6/19/2005, LTA and Oral pleasures, dday#2 Jan/2011 EA, dday #3 Nov/2013 pornographic pics of "friends"
I think this is finally R...

Posts: 258 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Michigan
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just saw this thread. Wow. Nice. Thank you.

I posted about my reasons for staying allot in the menz thread yesterday. Not sure I want to go through all that again today.

Initially after Dday I stayed because I did not want OM to be involved in raising my kids. I see stories in the news all the time about a boyfriend abusing or even killing a womans children. The father is out of the picture and this new man abuses his kids.

Who would put their kids at risk? Isnt our happiness of less importance than the safety of our kids?

My other reason for staying was financial. I come from a poverty stricken youth. Foster care. Living on the streets at times. Ive gone through some horrific times when I was young and poor and on my own. Because of that I have a huge fear of being poor again. This is not a fear like of spiders or snakes. Poverty terrifies me.

Because of this terror I have worked really hard to achieve a financial well being that is beyond anything I dreamed of as a child. I have sacrificed a lot for the stability and safety than money brings. In truth though I have to confess that I believe my fear of poverty probably contributed allot to the poor state of my M.

If I were to D my WW she would get 50%+ of what I worked for. AND I would have to pay her alimony. First of all this seems like she is getting rewarded for cheating on me. That bothers me.

There I was working like crazy and also 50%+ taking care of the kids and getting by on 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night. And there she was seeing OM during the days and taking care of the kids in the evening AND also taking vacations with OM while I handled everything at home 100%. Vacations I paid for. So how is she justified in taking half of everything I have? And how is it fair that I would have to pay her alimony?

Add to this a promise made by WW right after Dday. She said that if I D her she would do everything she could to ruin me financially. She would drag everything through the courts. She said *the only ones benefiting from our D will be the lawyers.* She would do everything she could to leave me destitute. This is no bluff. She is a vindictive angry person who would burn everything up and laugh even if she were consumed in the flames as well.

And of course my vision of what her threat means to me is right back on the street again like I was when I was a child. And so I stay.

Maybe its fear that keeps all of us in our M?


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fear, maybe be one reason. I want to stay, because I do love her, and want to be with her. I also want to be the only father to my children, no one else.

I also, think, I wouldn't want to start over with anyone else after this. The world has not become even more unsafe to me when facing infidelity. Yes, I have trust issues now, even though I am working to let myself be open and vulnerable again but it is hard.

We haven't chose R yet, and it's driven me crazy, and people say do the 180 and file for D. I see no benefit honestly from either. It's like a scare tactic. I get the 180 is for me and to benefit myself, but my situations is so different.

I acted out in porn, she retaliated with an affair multiple times. This has been on going for the whole marriage basically.

We have some tough decisions to make, but I have been working on myself and I am proud to say I will be 4 years sober from porn.

I really want to do good by my family... it's just a lot to process. And telling me to run, or do this and that, doesn't really help.


ME: BH/30, HER: WW/28 DD: 3
Dday1= Before we were married ***kissed another guy at church***
Dday2= 10/29/2010 ***Kissing my relative***
Dday3 = 10/26/2013 ***confessed because she got caught by OMW***
Dday4 = 12/3/2013 ***Confessed she had sex w

Posts: 592 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
thecosmogirl
♀ Member
Member # 39707
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I have no reason to stay. We have no children together. Unless you count the dogs, cats and horses
The only thing that worries me is my health, which has been bad for years now. And now that I think about it, I've had nothing but bad luck with broken bones and illnesses since I've met WH....and part of me thinks being sick was why/how he cheated. So when I have really bad days, I get VERY depressed. Because I was home so much and couldn't go out to dinner or whatever, he stayed more "at work" aka cheating.
Now, I'm still sick but, try like hell to go to work (we own a business) and part of that is because a lot of his cheating was done right in our building with employees. So, just because he is at work does not make me feel like he is still not cheating.
On days like today where I made it in but, can not take it and have to come back home, I feel that he is planning again.
And, he shows very little empathy for my issues. It's almost like he is waiting for me to actually die. Then he can be the ever mourning Widower. Really, I can see him playing up that role to it's fullest.
We have horrible insurance. He can find thousands of dollars to send me out of town for a week so he can not only spend more time cheating but, that's when he brought one into our home and bed. But, "we can't afford" one of the surgeries my doctor told me I needed.
I could leave. My ex-husband asked me to come home...which in itself is weird. He was a serial cheater and by far worse than my WH. But, he has great insurance and would get me to the best doctors. Sometimes, I actually think about doing this if only for my health.
My heart will never be fixed.


Me: BS
Him: doesn't matter anymore...or does it...

Being very, very careful

D-day 14 June 2013


I'm smart, good looking and gosh darn it, people like me!


Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: trying to figure it out
ItllGetBetter
♀ New Member
Member # 42776
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, March 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stayed. And stayed and stayed. My WH and STBX has staked his claim in OUR bedroom, you know the one...where we shared our lives, where I nursed our children...and I am down on the couch, like I am the one who blew up our family. His take on it? "You are welcome to sleep here. I didn't tell you to leave". Eww. He's for chrissakes.
i think I kept (well, keep) looking for remorse from him, an inkling, maybe, that he at least would prefer we stay together. Perhaps that he would just SEE me, 30 years together, my soul mate, blah blah blah. I feel equal parts humiliated, hurt beyond words,absolutely more furious than i ever thought possible.But his idea of together and mine are 2 different things. The object of his affection is still very much here -- they are partners in a new business. He made her that before, during, after they 'slipped up". She has been given MY place, in every way, even if it's no longer physical.
I stayed, and will continue to beat myself up until the day I file. Money issues are being taken care of now - that must be first.


Gotta work on this bitter-thing...

Posts: 7 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: connecticut
IsthereEVERanend
♂ Member
Member # 42216
Default  Posted: 2:41 AM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I'm staying. Twenty three years out and at this point leaving would not fix a single thing that still needs fixing.
Sometimes I'm lonely but it could be a lot worse.
I love her unconditionally and I made a commitment forty five years ago and that means something to me at least.
I also believe it now means something to her (fww).
We will be okay with what time WE have left.
Its not what you're envisioned going into this mess that I didn't chose.


Me: Older than dirt
FWW 63
DD 8/1990 She confessed to a 2 month ea/pa
Asked forgiveness but volunteered to leave. No way was I going to give her the boot

The eight most feared words used together in the English language: We need to talk. Th


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Utah
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