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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: If You Love Two People...
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I came across this on Pinterest. As rediculous as the above quote is, the comments were even more interesting. Everything from "love this quote! So true!" to "If that's how you really believe, you need to get your butt in therapy to find out what your deal is".

To just about everyone on SI, this one is a no-brainer. There is a difference between love and luuuurv, as folks around here put it.

Love is Mr. Aubrie accepting and adoring me at my best and absolute worst. Love is working all hours to provide for us. Love is making sacrifices for our family. Love is holding my hand while I puke my guts out. Love is being by my side thru 2 pregnancies. One, uneventful the other, stressed with suicidal tendencies and almost losing the baby during delivery. Love is sitting in the floor with me while I suffered a miscarriage. Love is late bills, flat tires, dirty laundry, morning breath and sleepy eyes, boring household chores, weeding the garden, bedtime stories, kids sneaking in our room during a thunderstorm, passing kisses in the hallway, burnt dinners and desserts that flopped. Love is when you confess the greatest hurt, you look up into their tear filled eyes and hear, "I forgive you. I will give you another chance. Do not mess this chance up. I love you and am willing to do what it takes to make this work." Love is dealing with the rollercoaster of R. Learning to communicate. Learning what makes us tick. Reliving nightmares from the past. Love is doing the hard work.

Lurv is the fantasy. Airbrushed, photoshopped images of us at our very best in the most flattering angles and light. It's well worded texts and emails that do nothing but flatter one another's egos. It's all "sweetness" and smiles. Rainbows and unicorns. It's sneaking around, and stolen moments. Moments that were taken from your real family. Lurv is an illusion, or more accurately, a delusion, or what the real thing is. Lurv is lying to the AP to make them feel better about themselves and yourself. You paint yourself as this amazing, can't live without it person. When in reality, you are both sadly, terribly broken.

I think for myself the answer is clear. I'll take the first one. And never, ever take it for granted again.


Me - FWW
Him - QuietStand
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."

Posts: 5395 | Registered: Nov 2011
GullibleGirl
♀ Member
Member # 33580
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You just HAD to go and make my emo butt cry, didn't you? Thanks, thanks for that!!!!


Me-FWW-48 He-BH-51 Separated
No kids/M 25yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11
'You & I go hard at each other like we're going to war...You & I go rough-we keep throwing things & slamming the doors'-M5

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The third loop of the bowels of Hell
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Speaking from the heart Sister.


Me - FWW
Him - QuietStand
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."

Posts: 5395 | Registered: Nov 2011
notthesum
Member
Member # 16172
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Gdamn allergies.....

*sniffling*


Time heals nothing. It's what you do with that time that heals..or doesn't.

I'm not almost 40. I'm $19.99 plus shipping and handling. And insurance.

Sometimes, the person you would take a bullet for is the one holding the gun.


Posts: 1888 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Rocky Mountains
used2bestrong
♀ Member
Member # 34372
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aubrie - I'm sending this to my WH, not because it will touch HIM, but because it touched ME. Thank you.


BS - me
WS - husband
4 children - all teens
D-day 6/15/11.

Posts: 599 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Ohio
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was kind of bummed, Aubrie, when I saw the topic and you posting it.

Of course, you are Aubrie and you get it, so I shouldn't have worried!

And that quote is stoooo-pid!!!!!!!!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8926 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allergies...

(((((used2bestrong)))))

Sorry for the mild heart attack SisterMilkshake.


Me - FWW
Him - QuietStand
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."

Posts: 5395 | Registered: Nov 2011
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really hate that saying :( I see it all the time. Thank you for making it so clear what the difference between love (with the 1st person) and luuurv (with the 2nd person) . As usual Aubrie, you are spot on.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 11
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
TooSadToCry
♀ Member
Member # 35123
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful!!! I'm going to print and put this in a card for my husband and tell him how much I've always loved him and that I forgive him. Although I'm still hurt and in the process of healing, he needs to hear that I forgive him. Thanks again!


Me: BS
Him: WH
Both 44
Together since we were 18
Married 24 years
2 Teenage Sons
Dday 2/22/12

Posts: 87 | Registered: Mar 2012
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn you Aubrie, you are wrecking my streak of 3 days without tears.


(actually I didn't make it through my commute this morning)...but you just set the clock back another 12 hours.....damn.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1263 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Although I'm still hurt and in the process of healing, he needs to hear that I forgive him.

ToSadToCry, I hope to God your WS realizes what a gift that forgiveness is and that receiving it after something as traumatic as this is huge.

Sorry wonderboy! Been keeping up with y'all. Wishing you well in your healing.


Me - FWW
Him - QuietStand
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."

Posts: 5395 | Registered: Nov 2011
whatjusthappened
♀ Member
Member # 34695
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, March 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Spot on, Aubrie. Thank you.

As soon as Mr. wjh all but forgot OW's name on D-Day and went into fight mode for me, I knew he only luuuurved her and truly loved me. It's that knowledge that keeps me moving.


Me - 39
Him - 38
Married 15 years
2 DS
Day my world crashed down: 12/22/11
In R. Most days.

Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: AZ
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sniff

I, uh, have to check something over there . . .


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2455 | Registered: May 2010
nvr flt sch pain
♀ Member
Member # 31540
Default  Posted: 4:43 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Aubrie24.

I'm a BS and to hear a WS say that is just great : )


BW-2gether 13 years, wed 09/09.
Dd1 OW1 6/7/2012 - 9 mnths pa/ea. Dd2 OW1 13/8/2010. Dd3 OW1 10/10, ons and ongoing ea.
Dd4 05/11 OW2 - EA/poss PA, plus other poss ONSs,other dodgy txts.
Dd5 03/12 date sites, sex chats & porn!
01/2013 - porno se

Posts: 663 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: united kingdom
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 4:54 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, allergies...

Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 4:58 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, double post

[This message edited by noescape at 4:59 AM, March 30th (Friday)]


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Mrs Panda
♀ Member
Member # 27303
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice post, Aubrie.

Yay for Pintest. Boo for lame saying!

You know what I have been thinking lately...love...My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.


Me-41 FWW Him-44BH
M 13years. Reconciled.
DDay#1 Nov 2008 (OM2)
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Confessed to OM 2001)
"The only thing permanent is change." Dr Charles Mayo,1930

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The SouthEast
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BH has seen me at my worst, but saw the best in me, and chose to love me anyway.

Exactly!


Me - FWW
Him - QuietStand
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."

Posts: 5395 | Registered: Nov 2011
disgust
♀ Member
Member # 34200
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is beautiful Aubrie84. I wish all waywards could come to the same conclusion as you.

I'm happy you are there.


Posts: 344 | Registered: Dec 2011
livetotell
♀ Member
Member # 26527
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

add me to the tear brigade. Thanks Aubrie - you give so many of us BS's someone to look to as an example of a WS who just gets it - it really helps to get through those harder days.
((Aubrie))


Me: BW - 36 Him: WH - 35
D-Day 1: 11/17/09
D-Day 2: 3/31/11
I'm not taking grenades for you anymore baby.
We are in R.
"Today I will live in the moment....unless the moment is unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie"

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2009
Topic Posts: 61
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