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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 50 Shades of Grey
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The more I read up on boundaries within relationships, the more that I think *most people* have unhealthy relationships...because what most of us in the Infidelity-forum would call "healthy boundaries", an awful lot of the outside worlds call "controlling" or "trying to control". Just a thought.

Part of the problem is people aren't taught healthy ways to communicate and exercise their boundaries. No one can fault you for walking away from a relationship that violates your boundaries, but staying in a relationship that doesn't respect them and insisting the other person change is going to be viewed as controlling, because, well, it is.


Posts: 3267 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Part of the problem is people aren't taught healthy ways to communicate and exercise their boundaries. No one can fault you for walking away from a relationship that violates your boundaries, but staying in a relationship that doesn't respect them and insisting the other person change is going to be viewed as controlling, because, well, it is.

An even bigger problem I think is one person not feeling confident in their boundries, trying to mirror their significant others boundries and failing in that endeavor. Yeah I think the “controlling” the outside world sees in a relationship can have some of its roots in this.

And yeah there are plenty of people who would "fault you" for walking away.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2011
bunni972
♀ Member
Member # 33690
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saw this post and thought I would ask everyone's opinion on the casting for the movie. what are your thoughts on Charlie being cast as Christian?


ME: BS 40
HIM: FWH 41
2 boys: 20, 17
DDay #1: October 17th 2011 (A w/ co-worker & visit with 2 "working girls"
DDay #2: September 20th 2013(A w/ girl from Craigslist. Had sex multiple times with 2 women he found on Ashley Madison.
Not s

Posts: 97 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: West Frankfort, IL
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just saw they are recasting Christian. Jamie Dornan is the new front runner, love it!

Posts: 3267 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
heforgot
♀ New Member
Member # 40850
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ooooh! I love Jamie Dornan. I never thought of him as Christian, but not a bad choice.


Me: BW, 44
Him: WH, 47
3 kids
Married 19 years
DDay 11/1/09
Status: R and more in love than before!

Posts: 48 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: USA
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank GOODNESS. I was not seeing Charlie H at ALL.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16446 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so detested this crap book and I can't believe that this thread has not died yet. Will it ever end????


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5737 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol. Troll much? You selected a thread (clearly, a popular one, considering the amount of pages) about a popular book in order to ask why the thread hasn't ended yet...?


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1958 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 188
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