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Fun & Games Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The Toddler Mama Club
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, April 18th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD subscribes to the Pickle Dogma as well.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17082 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
apeppersmith
♀ Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, April 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He also likes cucumber, although apparently not the word cucumber. They are now known in my house as "prepickles"


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 28
kids- 4.5 boy and 3 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 286 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS3: Mooooommmm! Come wipe needed!
*I walk into the bathroom.
DS3: MOM! NO! Another poop is coming!
*I turn and walk out of the room till he calls me back.*
Just as I come around the corner the second time, I see him leaning over, inspecting his handiwork and hear:
"Look Mom! Three babies!"

Yes, my life has changed drastically. I went from an Amin Assistant to a SAHM having poop discussions with a 3 year old. Classy.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6174 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
apeppersmith
♀ Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's ok Aubrie, mine announces loudly that he needs to make stinky, goes to the bathroom and does so, and then waves enthusiastically as he flushes screaming at the top of his lungs "Bye bye stinky! I'll see you tomorrow! Go swim with the dolphins!"


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 28
kids- 4.5 boy and 3 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 286 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
RS2731
♀ Member
Member # 33947
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I don't know who taught DS4 this (probably my mom), but he announces, very loudly and no matter where we are, that he just did a MONSTER POOP!!!

He is so proud of himself.


Me - BS, 36
Him - WH, 36
Married - 11 years
DS - 4
D-Day - September 2011
In process of R.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.


Posts: 2213 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CT
apeppersmith
♀ Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I turned around this am and found DS in the middle of the living room with his pants around his ankles playing with himself. He only recently discovered his ability to do this and is quite impressed with it. I asked him what he was doing and his response was a simple "Playing with my penis" Like that's the most normal thing in the world to do.

Well honey, if you want to do that, you need to go to your room, the living room is not the place for that.

And off he went to his room.


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 28
kids- 4.5 boy and 3 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 286 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
Crossbow
♂ Member
Member # 15224
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

apepper, we have 2 boys (6 & 4.5). We are utterly immune to the whole thing anymore.

We hardly even notice. Except when DS4 disappears, then bursts into the living room wearing nothing, yelling "Hello, Naked!"

This is especially charming when we have company.

Mostly it's just their godmother, though, who responds with alarm every time (which is doubtless why he does it). Then his brother strips down and they launch themselves onto her to give her hugs.


DDay 7/4/07 found out about online/sexting EA with OM
DDay 7/25/07 found out about OW
In R

2 DSs, ages 8 and 6
DD, 1


Posts: 9376 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Utah
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, April 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was having lunch with my BFF and her 4 year old came running into the living room and yelled, "MOM! I just pooped, like, ten thousand dollars!"

First time I ever heard #2 quantified in financial terms.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17082 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Ripley123
♀ Member
Member # 25277
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, April 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ma (me the grandma) may have to move to a new town...
We are bottle feeding a kitten that was abandoned by feral mama and it is in the bathtub so it can't climb out all the time. The other day, granddaughter, 3, leaned over the side of the tub to fix its towel nest, and slipped and smashed her mouth on the edge of the bathtub....so off we went to an emergency dental appointment. She was ok, but a LOT of blood.
The nurse was asking her what she likes to do for fun. She replied that she liked to wrestle her dad but sometime's accidentally kicked him in the nuts...
The assistant and I ignored the comment, but the dentist who had been writing in her chart, asked her what she had said. She screams at the top of her little lungs, " I said I kick him in the PEEENIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!'
I was mortified, but everyone in the office was laughing, including the lady in the room next to us getting her teeth cleaned....
Ma hangs her head in shame and we slink out of the dentist's office.
Oh, the dentist thought she was so cute, he gave her a toy, and let her take a book home too.
Sigh. She's only 3, can't wait to see what the teenage years will bring...


So let's roll the dice, one more time
Take a chance on love again tonight
Risk it all, lay it on the line
Let the skeletons fight for life
Tonight, hold on tight, as we collide -kid rock


Posts: 1680 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: The land of OZ
apeppersmith
♀ Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, April 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, the dentist thought she was so cute, he gave her a toy, and let her take a book home too.

No, he was trying to keep her happy so she wouldn't kick him in the penis. He clearly understood that this little girl was dangerous.


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 28
kids- 4.5 boy and 3 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 286 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
DragnHeart
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 2:02 AM, April 25th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG I have laughed so hard I've cried reading through most of this thread (it's nearly 3am and my eyes are going fuzzy).

DD (3) and DS (21 mon) keep me on my toes. DD will throw the biggest tantrum if you don't allow her to help with dishes, mop or sweep floors... I have a little maid in the making.

DS has decided wearing pants just isn't for him. At least he'll take them off them bring them to me with a "here ya go". DD hates socks and hides them around the house...


Posts: 2792 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
apeppersmith
♀ Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, April 25th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every morning, DS crawls into bed with me for a cuddle. We both normally go back to sleep for a little longer.

This morning, he was in my bed, I was asleep, and then I hear...

"Hi Mr. Happy Spider"

Now my eyes are open

"You like to come see me"

I start looking for spider

"You can be friends with me"

Spider spotted. On my ceiling. It's huge and looks very menacing. Like a wolf spider.

I jump out of bed, sneak past the spider to get to the door, and return with the vacuum. Which I use to suck up the spider.

DS looks at me like I've just shot the puppy.

"Where'd Happy Spider go mommy?"

"He's in the vacuum DS, it's his new house."

"But now I can't talk to him"

There's tears in his eyes at this point, and I'm trying not to gag

"How about we go talk to your puppy"

Tears disappear.
"OK!"

But he hasn't shushed about that damn spider all morning.


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 28
kids- 4.5 boy and 3 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 286 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
Crossbow
♂ Member
Member # 15224
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, April 25th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We save spiders at our house, and the kids have gotten the clue that spiders are *good* but need to be left alone, as some of them might bite/hurt them. Spiders eat their weight in mosquitoes and other pest bugs like every day.

The poisonous ones (here we get Hobo spiders and black widows) have to go, but the good ones either stay if they have a web up in the corner and we're having flies and mosquitoes (spring and summer here, yuck) or Daddy puts them outside.

So they'll come to me with, "Dada! A spider!" We'll look at it, I'll get a cup and piece of paper and catch it, they'll look at it up close, then watch me put them in the rose bushes (which are the meanest, thorniest things ever, so I know the kids will keep away from them).

I grew up in Houston, where spiders are truly a good thing. We have to spray OFF! on ourselves just to go from my parents' house to the car, or we are covered with bites! I prefer the spiders get a good meal, not the mosquitoes


DDay 7/4/07 found out about online/sexting EA with OM
DDay 7/25/07 found out about OW
In R

2 DSs, ages 8 and 6
DD, 1


Posts: 9376 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Utah
apeppersmith
♀ Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, April 25th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a child there were black widows in my bedroom. I'm aware that my fear of all spiders is irrational, but it's there. We have hobo spiders where I live now, but that's all in terms of the dangerous ones.


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 28
kids- 4.5 boy and 3 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 286 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
stretch13
♀ Member
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, April 25th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah, my DD likes to announce that she "pooped so big my butt hurts." sigh.

two nights ago, she got up to go potty and had to come wake me up to tell me. she came in wearing the extra diaper genie ring of bags that i still have in her cupboard...on her head. so proud...she told me it was her crown and she was the "diaper garbage princess."


http://www.facebook.com/hardheadpress
http://www.amazon.com/Eli-Ely-Ezekiel-Tyrus/dp/0986042900/

http://hardheadpress.com/

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac


Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, April 25th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Spiders. I hate, hate, hate spiders.

DS was in the bathroom and the sink was running. For a long time. Mr. Aubrie walks down the hall and I hear, "What do you think you're doing? Turn the water off, get your clothes back on, and get out of the bathroom."

I'm not even gonna ask. I don't wanna know. Ignorance is bliss.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6174 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, April 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS3 and DD6 are beating each other up with pillows. DD starts screaming. DS feeds off of her screams and gets more out of hand. They both get in trouble. DS is sobbing. DD gets all maternal and pats DS's head. "You have to stop crying otherwise you will turn into a mermaid forever. Do you want to be a mermaid forEVER!?"

I turned around and looked at her my DS looks at me, looks at her, and bursts into maniacal giggles.

Crisis averted. No mermaids tonight.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6174 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, April 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You have to stop crying otherwise you will turn into a mermaid forever. Do you want to be a mermaid forEVER!?"

OMG can I use this?


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17082 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, April 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be my guest.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6174 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
RS2731
♀ Member
Member # 33947
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, May 1st (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night, I was playing Candyland with DS4. I got one of the "good" picture cards. DS looks at me and exclaims (I CANNOT belive I am typing this). "Are you effing kidding me???"

Except he didn't say "effing". He used the real word.

I sat there in shock for a minute and then managed to croak out "What?" He repeated it, to which I interrupted and explained that that was a VERY bad word and that he shouldn'tsay that again. He apologized and said okay and went back to playing.

Geez. I know I have a potty mouth, but that's a word we're very careful about. If my kid says "Son of a bitch!" well, that's totally my fault. But this? Ugh. I love daycare.


Me - BS, 36
Him - WH, 36
Married - 11 years
DS - 4
D-Day - September 2011
In process of R.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.


Posts: 2213 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CT
Topic Posts: 223
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