Well, I am so far from the tropics, you couldn't get much further. But we do have many, many birds of prey (not mentioning the name as TMI), and some spectacular feeding displays, where the air if filled with them.
And have the room to host any of the tribe that want to do some communing with such magnificent soaring creatures.
So an open invitation to all.
Someone say vacay?
I'm up for that!
It even rhymes with UK!
Sending a pm Edie.
jj...You're just too funny! Rhyming away...
And Veritas... that is one cute critter. I LOVE it! Though not what it stands for. LOL
I do not post much here because I rarely feel I can add to the wisdom of the more experienced Tribe members however I do lurk everyday to watch the progress and growth of every member of the Tribe. You folks are all doing dang good, keep going. You all are an inspiration and a great source of guidance for me, thank you very much.
Veritas, be afraid since I have the exact duplicate of your zebraduck sitting on my router just below my monitor and staring at me right now. The Marine Corps Alumni were selling different rubber ducks outside the grocery store a few months ago and there was my newest desk ornament among the others. I doubt the retired Marine manning the table knew how many smiles he has given me.
To the new members of the Tribe, listen to those here they are pretty darn smart.
To the whole Tribe, keep on keppin' on and be safe and well.
I want to ask the tribe for collective finger crossing. Stretch has indicated that he has signed the divorce decree and had it notarized and will hand it over to me tonight... I don't think he knows how badly I want it or he'd never give it over. I indicated that if the divorce didn't get done before the end of next month, the filing would expire. that is true, but I simply stated that the order that I paid for would expire with the implication being that I would not be paying again and nonchalant about it one way or the other. INside I am seething with how damn difficult this process has been. Having him served has been expensive and unsuccessful. AND now I am relying on his cooperation? How did it come to this?
I suspect there are a lot of grounded eagles in this group. We'll all practice soaring.
I love love love th zebrduck and must get one for myself to hang by it's neck and use as a punching bag when I get mad at stbx. LOL
caregiver, stay strong but cool and those papers will be in your hands tonight. Soon he will be outta your life.
SoHurt, hey girl nice to see you so happy and so determined. You too are a strong woman who is just coming into herself again. You will be so much better off without out stbx and so will the boys.
Now...slap me silly and color me red cause I just got some much needed news. I have it on very VERY good authority that my stbxwhNPD cheated on his first wife also. I knew it I just knew it. I had a gut feeling that he was a serial cheater and now I have the proof. I intend to hand it over to my attorney so he can show a pattern with this cretin. I am glad I followed my gut and reached out to her. It is just more icing on the cake so to speak. More proof that it wasn't me that caused him to cheat (i know it wasn't) but rather this is his pattern.
Now picture me doing the dance of joy.
SVB, keep in mind that I have to appear wise and attempt to be witty because I have a face made for radio so meeting me in person might be frightening. If there is ever a gathering of the Tribe I would relish the opportunity to give you all a real life chuck on the shoulder.
Jpapa, them are some special lucky toes.
I got the paper and best I can tell it is all in order. It is notarized and everything...
now I am afraid to send it to my L who has somehow managed to bungle every aspect of this to date or at least drag it out. I am far more tempted to drive it to the courthouse and hand deliver the damn thing.
v, thanks for the pic.
I have it on very VERY good authority that my stbxwhNPD cheated on his first wife also. I knew it I just knew it. I had a gut feeling that he was a serial cheater and now I have the proof.
WELL celebrate being wrong!
He seemed sulky. So I asked if the June payment would be forthcoming.
Me: are you going to have money for me tomorrow?
Him: more sulky than before, "I'll pay you when I can."
It was worth it to ask.
I am going along and paying my way and TAKING CARE OF THE CHILDREN even when he doesn't. So asking him if he is going to contribute and having him admit "UM no NOT REALLY" was ... almost satisfying.
the appearance of complying but not really.
Jpapageorge: yes! We exist! We are here! And we have souvenirs to prove it!
Svb: i was just telling someone today that outing a lying, crazymaking motherfucker is so very, very satisfying. And healing. It might seem petty to normal folks, and eventually you get to the point where not calling them on their bs is even more satisfying, but it is a process.
Today i got a text from a phone number that was not in my contacts, basically stating that this someone would have dinner for the kids tomorrow night. I knew who it was, so all i texted back was, "fucktard?"
I knew what the number was, too. You see, fucktard had used that particular number during our marriage to sign up for Adult Friend Finder, and later, on dating sites (google voice).
So i got the following responses:
Crickets from me, then:
FT: i have had this number and mine for a while.
FT: we can't get texts or calls in the building so i got this number so it can ring back to the phone in my pocket.
Um, you don't get texts or calls but you got the number so it can ring back to your pocket? And we have been texting for a zillion years while you were at work? Try again, asshole. More like, you were on a texting spree at work on company time , or your current girlfriend goes through your phone, and you forgot to whom you were sending a text.
[This message edited by veritas at 9:14 PM, May 31st (Thursday)]
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
I am feeling a bit giddy, my friends...
As you should be.
Wow!! So much has been happening. OMG, that zebra duck and the little eaglet had me really
Everything will be ok. I understand your fear. And it is especially frustrating when nobody IRL understands what you are dealing with. Stay strong and keep moving forward. Remember what Winston Churchill once said. "When you're going through hell, keep going." This is especially true when dealing with an NPD. Keep posting. We will be here for support.
Part of NPD is pathalogical lying. So trust your gut. Don't believe his words. BTW, what is it with NPD's and porn?
Exhausted Lady, Edie, Jpapageorge and SVB
It's amazing the progress you have all made. The insight you are all providing now is so spot on. You've come a LONG WAY!!
I think in the beginning of realization most of us had the same reaction as you. "Is there any way to stay?" but that is just more of what you've been doing all along....appeasing him and doing everything possible to keep him from making your life miserable.
But realistically, the answer is no unless you want to live out your life as a doormat. If that was ok with you, you wouldn't be here now. Know what I mean?
Welcome! Reading your post reminds me of my XNPDH. The rules only applied to ME. He could do whatever he wanted. lol.
You already know what's going on. You know he's lying to you and gas lighting you. You just have to decide weather you're going to buy into his BS or not. Detach and pay more attention to his actions. His words are lies.
You are cracking me up!
As usual, your presence here brings a smile to my face.
That is such good news!! Can you believe it?! YAY!!!
Wow. One more thing to check off on the NPD check list. I'm so sorry. I remember that gut punch too. Mine put on like his X had cheated on him, blah, blah blah....he's the forever victim. Gag! Turns out he was the cheater, the abuser, the complete CREEP.
It's so mind boggling, isn't it? How they can be such masters of disguise and masters of manipulation.
Hey! How are you doing? Good to "see" you.
Is that really you? REALLY?? Wow! You are an amazing woman.
I cannot tell you how PROUD I am of you. You have gone from paralyzed from fear to "I am woman hear me roar!" in such a short time. You sound stronger, more sure of yourself and I think I even hear some *spunk* in some of your posts. I am just LOVING that!!
Watching your transformation has been amazing. And the transfer of power and control in the relationship is just astonishing. The stronger you have gotten, the more he just seems to have shriveled up.
Keep on keeping on. You are on the right path and soon you will be completely NPD free.
Big hugs and prayers to the tribe. My apologies if I left anyone out. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
OC born 2001 (I didn't know)
Remarried 2008 (Happy!)
Jpapa, I am sure that you are fine looking and have a lot of wisdom to share. We all need to meet in Vegas and party to our freedom from the depths of hell.
Congrats Caregiver, I knew you could do the cool calm and collected thing to get those papers. Now just keep playing the docile lady and he will think he has you where he wants you till you hit him upside the head with the next item.
ThoughtIknewya, I was almost positive that he was a serial cheater but I just needed that confirmation so that I can give it to my attorney and have it brought out in court. I feel bad for her for the way he treated her but happy that I have my proof.
2_4giving, I just wanted to tell you that it took me 3 tries to leave my stbx. Each time I tried to leave he would pour on the loving dovey crap and suck me back in and he played on my fears of how can I make it on my own. He tried to pull the same thing this last time but I was so f'n done that I didn't care if I ended up with nothing but a suitcase of clothes living in a shelter, it would be better than living in fear of my life. Just know that we have all been there and are here for you. It will be hard to walk away until the day comes when you can see that leaving is so much better than staying. hugs sweetie.
sadtoo...thank you for all your kinds words to everyone. Yes, we have all gotten stronger the longer we are away from CRAZYVILLE. We may slip and slide from time to time but we will get to acceptance and happiness eventually.
Wished we could all schedule a meet someplace and really have an non NPD party. That would be a blast. Well, it is five o'clock somewhere so everyone have a virtual drink of choice!!