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User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 28
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

let it be me,
Tough assignment:
For the next three months, do not work on your marriage at all. Let your FWH do whatever he will do with it and follow his lead if you want to. Meanwhile, your focus is to figure out YOUR needs. What do you need/want from a marriage? (Not this current marriage, but "a marriage"... kwim?) What do you need/want from a partner? (Not this current partner, but "a partner.") Figure out which are necessary for your happiness and which are "would be nice, but not necessary." That part is really hard! I can PM you some online tools to get you started, if you want. Then you look at the marriage you have/have had. And you look at, reasonably, what you can expect. And you make a decision based on your needs.

So. For example. Lets say I'm a vegan who is morally opposed to eating and using animal products. That is central to my belief. It is one of the most important things in my life. And it's important that I surround myself with like-minded people. And somehow I ended up married to an avid hunter who loves a good steak and who believes that animals exist to provide food to humans. Chances are, neither one of us is going to change our POVs. So that would be a mark against staying in the marriage. It might be a dealbreaker, or it might end up being one of those "live and let live" things because all my other needs are met by my neandrathal animal-killing husband and I get my tree-hugging needs met by my left-wing whacko friends. If you truly know your needs and are looking at your marriage in the cold, harsh light of day, then you can make a good decision... as opposed to floating along with the flotsam and jetsam of ever-changing emotions.

I'm just parroting what MC told me after DDay#2, but it totally worked for me. And I needed all of those three months to detatch and figure out my needs.

Speaking of parrots, Laura, thank you for sharing the photos of your feathered friends!!!

Nell out!


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
0115
♀ Member
Member # 31740
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let it be me...

fWH is still early on in IC and admits he has not fully disclosed his resentment and falling back to his old vilification of me to his IC. (fWH falls back onto resenting me for who I am, my supposed(in his mind) 'strength' and 'intelligence' which he feels emasculates him as well as the lies he had to tell himself and others about me over the past 16 years of our marriage to rationalize 16 years of emotional/physical abuse and the A)

Does he understand this??? Truly see's it? My fWH JUST this week-end "really" put it all together...I "got it" about two weeks ago and just couldn't explain it. We've both been in IC for a year. My very weak analogy was this. Everyday your lunch is stolen and it makes you angry and causes you pain. You beat this kid up because you know it was him who stole it. Everyday for 27 years you beat up this kid. You do horrible things to him. One day, you find out all along it wasn't that kid...it was totally someone else. Would you ever beat up that kid again??? NO! You would do everything in your power to make-it up to him, right?

So I KNEW when my H really understood that it wasn't me all these years who emasculated him...it was his brother and father (sexual abuse) he would crumble...he did.

So...does your H really get it??? He might hear it, know it, but does he understand. My H was remorseful and told me he knew the A was wrong, he was doing all the right things but there was one piece that just hadn't fallen into place. When it did, he cried for hours...days. When he had that shield of transference up his pain was bad but when he understood he "beat up and blamed the wrong person all these years" the pain was unbearable. Does this make sense?
Also I think your triggers will lessen and forgiving or letting it go will become options when this really happens.

Laura...Birds are beautiful!!! What a paradise

UK I've only been to 6 stores...haven't found the perfect..."there is promise in this man" ring yet. There is another horrible story about me and rings so this really is HUGE!! I never thought I'd ever wear a ring again.

fWH has never come up with a satisfactory reason.
All he ever said was it was unfinished business/dialogue. Again, for five years???

This would drive me crazy...I said the same thing...how could you not stop...ever? If the answer wasn't there I kept looking. (((UK)))

Ats...There's some disconnect. Do you think she loves you, just not attracted to you? My fWH did over the top things with the OW and people would say some whore/mother syndrome...that's not what is was but basically he saw her as the bad girl and me as the good girl...is your W reversed??? Like the OM was a john or something??? Gosh I don't know...so sorry you're hurting.


BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.

Posts: 997 | Registered: Apr 2011
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let it be me,

What would you do if your wife was physically paralyzed and could no longer have sex?

Ok.. after some thought on this... I would live up to my promise to God. Love and cherish. If that meant no sex, no sex. I could still enjoy what God gave me... masterbation. I would not do anything my paralyzed did not feel good about doing.


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
0115
♀ Member
Member # 31740
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tryn...I'm glad you laughed...that would be the ultimate Karma bus hit...two in one


BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.

Posts: 997 | Registered: Apr 2011
0115
♀ Member
Member # 31740
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let it be me...sorry I reread your post.

What really emasculates him? Does he know that answer?


BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.

Posts: 997 | Registered: Apr 2011
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LIBM, forgiveness is very personal. I do believe that it is something you do for yourself. Some people can’t forgive, some people find that, while they consider themselves to have a forgiving nature (I do), this is something so abhorrent and so against all the values they hold dear and so personal that forgiveness isn’t even on the agenda. I have accepted. It took me three years before I realised I didn’t HAVE to forgive fWH. He was remorseful right from d-day. But he lied and minimised and shrank the whole thing down to make it as insignificant as possible. He rewrote everything and lied by omission, thinking I would never find out the details. But I did. He claims poor memory, I say he chose to “forget”. He didn’t mention whenever MOW contacted him – I found out. I believe he has had other contact with her fairly recently (by that I mean within the last year). I don’t fully trust him. And if I were to forgive him, I would have to extend that to trusting him and believing what he says to be true. For me, those are all in the same wrapper.

He wanted to buy me something “big” at the weekend. He held my ringless hands and wanted to buy me nice rings. I said no. He wanted to buy me a Rolex or a Cartier. I said no. I just wanted a new handbag. Which I got! Jewellery = long term and a promise of sorts. I can’t do that. Maybe one day I will. But he has got to SHOW me before I can open my hand and heart to him again. I don’t trust him in the long term. And he once said to me he couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again- his words were “nothing is certain, as in absolute”. It’s like everything is for now. And I’m with him – for now. And I’m fine with that.

It took me at least three years to step away from the pain. Don’t be hard on yourself. There is no “normal”. Normal is whatever it is for you. Do not take on your fWH’s issues – they are for him to resolve. Involve you, yes. But it isn’t (and never was) your place to make him better. Don’t worry about things that may never happen. If you worry about it, it might be that you make it happen (whatever “it” may be).

Gotta go – fWH has rung and will be home soon. He’s home a lot these days. Travelled a few hours to stay home tonight, will be up early and travel back tomorrow. He was away last night and will be away tomorrow night. I still find it odd when he was never bothered while he was in the affair – staying away suited him to see his gf. Oh well…..whatever.

Also, FWW did not need testosterone shots and alcohol to have satisfactory sex with any OM, to flirt and stext with her BIL, to take and send erotic photos. She told me of her loud orgasms from oral, and orgasms from penetration only, when they met for their afternoon couplings.
But very quickly, remember much about the affair was the aphrodisiac rush of the fact it WAS an affair with all the illicit thrill and risk that went with it. I can imagine really enjoying something I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
(eta - )

[This message edited by UKgirl at 1:39 PM, February 28th (Tuesday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
let it be me
♀ Member
Member # 29103
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell ~ you are too right with that assignment! Right before I went off my meds (due to the cost) that was my wellness plan with my pdoc! Seems like as soon as I went of the meds my old destructive patterns kicked back in. Focusing on my value through the M and fWH rather than who I am and/or what I need.
That advice is spot on!

0115 ~ You know I truly believe fWH understands the concept; however, I must also admit that I believe fWH is not actually applying it to himself consistently. Maybe it is all lip service?
fWH has inferred that the low self-worth and emasculation/inferiority (not good enough) feelings stem from his FOO, specifically his mother. And a distant, father. As well as fWH's parents interpersonal relationship/M with each other…. Oh, I don’t know...
If he knows he brought this into the marriage why is it so difficult to own it when it happens rather than resent me for not putting up with it? *sigh*
Need to focus back to what Nell just reminded me of. Y'all are like my IC until I can get back into my pdoc. She won't even start IC again until I've been on my meds for at 4 weeks.

(((((Tryn))))) ~ I appreciate how open you are here...to share your thoughts as they happen... And I, too, would stay married if my H could no longer have sex. Which is sad because I actually have a higher sex drive than my fWH. Might have something to do with the constant Manic Episodes I cycle in and out of....? And quite personally,I know three people that have gone their whole lives (to date)without sex and their lives are fulfilling and enjoyable... Go figure?

UK ~ again, you are spot on as well as Nell... I have been looking to the M again to find myself. Freakin' need to stay on my meds!
About forgiveness, I do want to forgive him for what has happened in the past. I don't hold hate for him about that. And most people I know consider me a forgiving person. Heck, I was even able to forgive my father and grandfather for all the molestation, physical and emotional abuse I suffered from them.
The things that we are struggling with now are the behavior patterns of manipulation and emotional abuse at my expense in order for fWH not to feel bad about himself. And it isn't just in our relationship. fWH is like that in all relationships. When I address it now, fWH's reaction is most often the same as the last 17 years. Blameshift, right out LIE, manipulate my BP1 or PTSD to intentionally trigger me so fWH can play the victim. I own my triggers and my manic and/or depressive episodes. fWH admits that he has done this consistently for 17 years and that he continues to do it today. . . as a 'gut instinct defense mechanism' aka 'poor coping skills'. I know he doesn't feel good about it when he 'faces the music' and promises that he is 'working on it'. Don't get me wrong. fWH isn't doing this 24/7. However at least once a day, fWH falls back onto his old patterns, sometimes over the most insignificant thing. Makes me wonder... (and sometimes question my sanity) Even DS 13 sees the pattern: the lies over small, insignificant things and wonders why?

But, again, y'all are right. Darn these racing thoughts of LIBM and their evil ways!!!!

Gets crowded up in here most days.... Trying to find a nice, small, cozy mind for one.... Don't even mind if it's fuzzy every now and then.... as long as there's only one LIBM living there!!!!

For now, I'm back to figuring out who I am and what I need & want in my life. WELLNESS PLAN. In all areas. Focus on LIBM and what she needs to be a healthy, functional member of society and the best dang mom ever! Well, at least the best dang mom to my DD20 "Bug" and my DS13 "Bubby"....I Thank God everyday for those two amazing children. How they turned out halfway normal through all of this is beyond me!

((((((((((Tribe))))))))))


Me/BS/40~Him/fWH/42 Both in IC
MC put 'on hold' till my IC agrees
DD~07/19/10 R on hold till my IC agrees
BP1 DX 10/2011&Complex PTSD 7/1998
"There are no mistakes in tomorrow"

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Eastern NC
0115
♀ Member
Member # 31740
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let it be me...I know I'm sounding like a broken record...I've had you on my mind all day. It's because of what's going on in my life I'm sure but...
THIS
(fWH falls back onto resenting me for who I am, my supposed(in his mind) 'strength' and 'intelligence' which he feels emasculates him

So what if this is true, that you are strong and intelligent (probably is). So you're strong and intelligent. Period. Why does this emasculate him and why would this ever be your fault?? If he cooked better or calmed babies better would that make you feel less a woman and would that be his fault??? Just because he has talents or gifts? Of course not. His mind is wired wrong. When he gets the wires uncrossed and sees you for who you are, things will be better.

Everyone is right...you can't concentrate on him, you have to concentrate on you...I just couldn't really R until I knew the why and the root cause. Call me persistent.


BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.

Posts: 997 | Registered: Apr 2011
cdnmommy
♀ Member
Member # 30182
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all. I will try to log in later and comment on everything, but on my own rollercoaster here. fWH received notice he is being laid off yesterday. It is not a direct consequence of his A but in a roundabout way it is. The layoff itself is a workforce reduction and not performance related. In fact, he just got a bonus and glowing review, which proves that when you actually focus on your JOB at work you can succeed. But he wouldn't even be in a position to be cut if not for having an a with a coworker.

I am not worried about finances. The economy is good here and the market is heating up. I am worried about what this does to his self esteem and mental health. He promises me he is just really bummed (his current assignment is great for out work/life balance and R) and is not going to descend into depression. I am trying to be supportive without being a crutch.

Can't help feeling like if we can get through this it will be a good sign we are healing.

Be back later.


Me: BW
DDay: Oct 2010 + 6 weeks false R
2.5 (+?) year A with married coworker/my "friend"
1 great kid.
Reconciling and healing

Posts: 1683 | Registered: Nov 2010
jollum
♂ Member
Member # 25152
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Old Dipstick you have a pm.

Posts: 269 | Registered: Aug 2009
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm having a rough morning too. Last night was hard.

We watched Parenthood and the whole thing was a trigger fest. I love that show, but honestly it's too real.

Ugh.

Maybe I just shouldn't watch tv or movies ever again.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WYE,
Sad to see that you had a rough night. Hoping today is better.

I went on an action TV show/movie bender for well over a year after DDay#1. Was not interested in watching TV relationships, whether they dealt with infidelity or not. Happy couples pissed me off, unhappy couples pissed me off, people who might have been part of couples but I wasn't sure pissed me off, people who weren't part of couples pissed me off... but now I can watch most stuff without a problem. Although from time to time I look pointedly at Mr. STBXNell when some scumbag character is cheating.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell.

At last, something so simple that even I can understand. Pissedoffiness at everything and everybody.

Thanks Nell.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pissedoffiness at everything and everybody.

Best description of me in months.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OH! I forgot.

Even though last night sucked ass, I think there was one thing that was good that came out of it.

He could tell I was triggering, asked what was wrong. I just said that I didn't want to talk about it right now. He asked why, I said it was too hard and went upstairs.

He curled up next to me in bed and said he was sorry.

First time he's just said it like that.

Then he said this was all his fault.

Of course I then spent the next 45 minutes sobbing uncontrollably.

I want to believe that he's finally beginning to see how bad this all is for me, that this is going to take a long time to process....I just don't know how long I can do this and keep my sanity.

Oh, this just sucks. All of it.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pissedoffedness at everyONE... not everyTHING. Things are fine. Especially chocolate and wine things. Chocolate and wine things are especially fine.

WYE,
Lets hope that his "I'm sorry" after your silence will lead to answers and insights and "I'm sorry" after your un-silence.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
cdnmommy
♀ Member
Member # 30182
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, February 29th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't possibly go back far enough to comment on everything, but....

Laura, I am still trying to keep track of who is where, and it wasn't until I got to the pictures in your post and thought, "That's right, she is in Australia!" I'm sure that view is wonderful. :)

UKGirl: On the term "mistake" - that is a pet peeve of mine, too. Unfortunately, my mother, the person who urged me to drop fWH like a hot potato after DDay has now taken to referring to the LTA as his "mistake." When I told fWH that his response was, "I'm sorry she said that. There is just no way what I did could ever be considered a mistake." Yeah. No kidding.

I struggle with the same thing you do, at times, of not feeling attractive or interested in fWH. He withheld sex for 20 months during the A. You read that right: 20 months. I tried everything, but eventually came to the conclusion that I was just disgusting to him. That kind of thing is hard to recover from, and even now that I can see the appreciation in his eyes and know he finds me attractive, I have a hard time feeling attractive. And, frankly, it is just really hard to get excited when I feel like I spent so long being about as interesting to him as a coat rack. It is another thing I need to work on and there is a long list.

LIBM:

So what if this is true, that you are strong and intelligent (probably is). So you're strong and intelligent. Period. Why does this emasculate him and why would this ever be your fault?? If he cooked better or calmed babies better would that make you feel less a woman and would that be his fault??? Just because he has talents or gifts? Of course not. His mind is wired wrong. When he gets the wires uncrossed and sees you for who you are, things will be better.

^^^This. Presumably you were like this when he married you, and so he must have looked at it differently at one point, right? I agree that it is something going on with him and how he is thinking about it. There are things about fWH that I used to find charming and now find mildly annoying, but those tend to be the little things. Qualities as basic to your personality as strength and intelligence are not in that category.

As for me, I had a very productive IC session today. Feeling better than I have in a long time. I think I might have found the right therapy, finally!


Me: BW
DDay: Oct 2010 + 6 weeks false R
2.5 (+?) year A with married coworker/my "friend"
1 great kid.
Reconciling and healing

Posts: 1683 | Registered: Nov 2010
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 3:37 AM, March 1st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

Just positive stuff tonight.

Got myself a new hair colour. I am one hot red head now!!!!!

FWH said he loves it, makes me look 10 yrs younger and made certain suggestions based on his response to my hair . Fortunately none of his OWs were redheads!!!

Saw lovely SIL this afternoon. She said she was talking to someone today who works with OW1. She "casually" asked this person what OW1 is like. This person said she is a real bitch. So a good night for me.

Trying to keep positive.

LOVE and HUGS - BIG HUGS to all

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, March 1st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura-
Love the positive post!
and I bet you rock the red hair!


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
let it be me
♀ Member
Member # 29103
Content  Posted: 6:54 AM, March 1st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cdn ~ how goes the job search? Is the stress impacting you too much? *sigh* Find an outlet for you. Don't let him dump on you and don't allow yourself to "fix" things/emotions/etc for him! Support, yes. Co-dependent, no. (((cdn)))

wye ~ I admire your decision to find a positive in something negative (movie triggers). I am with Nell on this one, as well.
Too often I get stuck in the negative and don't find the positive in the situation until hours or days later... It's a 'work on' for me!

Laura ~ RED HAIR! Is it a brassy, girl oughta' have freckles red or more like auburn? .... I'm hoping I get a call with a job offer today and IF I do, well the next call I make is to my hair stylist for a color and cut!

Me, I've been keeping all y'alls messages floating around my head and am finding it more and more natural to focus on healthy choices for me. Strange enough, or not so strange and more obvious, I also find myself less negative in response to fWH and the triggers that arise out of our relationship issues... Go figure. I'm smart enough to know this would happen, yet when the depression or mania clouds my sanity all bets are off...
Thanks (((((Tribe))))) for being my 'IRL' support group. This is as close to 'IRL' support (other than pdoc and IC) that I have... YAY TRIBE!!!!!

as for me and my house we will serve the Lord ~

my Primary Medical Doc is also a holistic/homeopathic healer and has this magazine she gave me online access to by using her subscription number.. She is one pretty neat lady...

and this is something I read yesterday...

""Question: What am I here to do?
A: To open your heart, stretch out your hand, broaden your mind.

Stories that answer the question "What am I here to do?" are called heart stories. They are called heart stories because they either open or close your heart. When your heart opens, compassion arises. When compassion arises, you naturally reach out to be service to others. And when you are of service to others, you get to know them and expand your mind.
Another way to say this is that there are only two kinds of heart stories: those that engender love and those that engender fear. Don't mistake love for romance or fear for being scared. There is nothing wrong with either, but the love I'm talking about makes you curious about life and courageous when living it, while the fear I'm talking about constricts the heart and alienates you from life.""

I want to be done with living in fear. Thanks again, (((Tribe))), for supporting me along this journey!

LIBM


Me/BS/40~Him/fWH/42 Both in IC
MC put 'on hold' till my IC agrees
DD~07/19/10 R on hold till my IC agrees
BP1 DX 10/2011&Complex PTSD 7/1998
"There are no mistakes in tomorrow"

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Eastern NC
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