Now, I feel bad bringing it up to her this morning. She's struggling just to get out of bed because she "hates herself". I know that me bringing it up causes her thoughts of self loathing all over again.
We start MC today at 1:45. She's already in IC as am I. Is there any more benefit to me bringing it up again? If she has it, she has it. Any thoughts on me dropping the subject?
But please see my other post about thrush etc as well.
Today's been a bit of a stresser. It's exactly 3 months since his ONS.
It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown
Can you elaborate on Arthritis as STD??
I insisted that my doctor or a more specific tests to determine HSV 1 or 2. Results in 2 days.
This is all so surreal, I am not mad yet but I am sure I will be.
I'm sad enough to be facing being a single woman dating again, but knowing I'll have to tell some man something so embarrassing and personal is just beyond me right now.
I'm so sorry any of us have to deal with this.
I have just had my second outbreak in 1 year and I discovered that I have been having the same issue for quite a few years but I always thought it was caused by an ingrown hair. This time knowing I am positive I did more checking and it is Herpes. I have had these for at least 5 years but never knew or even suspected that it could be Herpes. I am so pissed at the scum bucket. In court he tried to say that I must have cheated on him to get it. Yet he was posting crossdressing pics and messaging men on disgusting websites. I never had the time or desire to cheat and I wasn't posting pics of me on the fracken filthy internet sites.
I really want to rip him a new one but instead I will suffer in silence and not poke the bear. I hate that I am paying for his cheating for the rest of my life. I really hope he has a major break out and it hurts sooooooo bad!! He is an unremorseful serial cheater.
It is so unfair that the innocents in this always seem to pay the heaviest price.
Well I regret that bc now I have cervical cancer where I need chemo & a hysterectomy.
starlightsky I don't know what to say. I hope your treatment works out okay. ((hug))
I have had the virus over twenty years, but test negative. I havenít broken out in about five years. At first I broke out four times annually. Over time the symptoms dissipated. Initially I would break out if I had inadequate sleep or experienced extreme stress. Now I can go a couple of days with no sleep and complete an entire divorce and not breakout. I learned to overcome stress. The body is resilient!
Normally you will experience a sensation, called the prodome, before a breakout; you will come to recognize this. It generally is experienced during the 24 hours prior to the sore appearing. You will probably get the sore in the same place or area each time. It is most likely to be spread during this first episode, so if you touch it, be careful not to spread it to other parts of your body, especially your eyes, and wash your hands thoroughly after touching the lesion. Also, when experiencing an active breakout I advise that you do not sleep in the nude, this way you will not accidentally scratch the lesion and touch your eyes or other parts of the body in your sleep. There are drugs available to help prevent outbreaks. At first, I took some of the suppressant drugs, but once I discovered that the breakouts didnít happen all that often and that the drugs didnít seem to shorten the duration by more than a couple of days, I decided not to take them. Your experience may be totally different and the drugs have probably changed since the early 90s as well. I would consider taking them to make my partner more at ease and to lessen the chance of spreading the virus.
Itís scary wondering how often the breakouts will occur and how long they take to heal. Mine usually take about ten days to heal.
If you chose to divorce and have Herpes, please do not think this is the end of your sex life. There are others who will love you and want to be intimate with you. You will have a new set of guidelines to follow:
Be honest. Date the person for awhile, before breaking the news. You donít need to unzip your soul and spill your guts on the first few dates; after all, this person is a stranger to you. Once you have determined that you enjoy this new person and they enjoy you, and the person you are dating is trying to heat things up, slow it all down by telling them that you do not have sex for 90 days at least, because you want to get to know them better. If they donít respect this, then they are not for you. Way before the 90 days is up, you should tell that you have herpes. Youíll know when the time is right. When they start getting attached to you, itís time. It would be unfair to let them fall madly in love with you and then dispense this information. In the case of online dating, I have been known to just blurt out the news to a potential date. The results were surprising. You see, eHarmony has a series of questions that can be answered, that appear in a sort of drop down format and are attached to your profile. If your potential date has answered the same questions, then you can compare your answers. Several times, men wrote to me and we made it through the series of back and forth messages before I noticed that they had answered that they would not date someone with an STD. When I later spoke to these men on the phone and said I was not a good match for them due to herpes, I found that only one said it was a deal breaker and then he later wrote to ask me to call if I came to his nearby city so we could go out to dinner. Oddly, one guy told me, ďDarling, herpes doesnít count. Everybody has it. I have it too. I meant that I wouldnít date someone with HIV.Ē I couldnít believe my ears! I found his response to the question to be dishonest, since he had an STD! In the public realm, meeting someone new in person and going on a date, I have found that when I reveal that I have herpes, no one has ever broken off our relationship due to that. In fact, I preface the talk by saying that I have something important to tell them that may alter our relationship and they are relieved to hear it is herpes and not that I want to break-up. So fear not, itís not as bad as you imagine. There will be those who want to get to know you better and those who ultimately are too afraid to have a full and complete sexual relationship with you, but this virus does not have to keep you from finding a significant other.
I will admit that after you have herpes and you do find a significant other, it does make one more reluctant to leave a relationship, because that means going through the whole process and explanation again. It feels safe to stay in the current relationship and hope it gets better.
To all who are new to herpes, hang in there, it gets better in time.