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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual
Louise2011
♀ Member
Member # 33383
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, November 8th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's available as a e-book (delivered instantly) for $7.99 form amazon, as well as paper copy for $10.99.

My WH loved this book, I made him read it in one night as requirement to being let back in the house after he broke NC a few weeks after "dday". ...and he HATES to read.. it was very "manual" like. Alot of these books seem to be written for women, this one is readable for a man.


Me: BW Him:fWH M 5 years July
DDay: Sept 4,2011 to Oct 3rd (Continuous NC Breaking)
2 DS's - almost 2 and 3.5 years
"All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one." Tony Montana, Scarface
&

Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: British Columbia
Louise2011
♀ Member
Member # 33383
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, November 8th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's like anti-fog spray in a book!


Me: BW Him:fWH M 5 years July
DDay: Sept 4,2011 to Oct 3rd (Continuous NC Breaking)
2 DS's - almost 2 and 3.5 years
"All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one." Tony Montana, Scarface
&

Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: British Columbia
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, November 8th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep hearing about this book, it must be very good.

What's it like?


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9647 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, November 9th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brilliant

My FWH is not a reader.

In fact I don't think he has ever read a book from cover to cover.

I gave it to him with a highlighter and said "Read it".

He started one afternoon about 2pm. I kept saying you don't have to read it all today. He kept reading and highlighting and didn't stop until he was finished.

Highly recommend it.

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2738 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Louise2011
♀ Member
Member # 33383
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, November 9th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Crushed,

You can preview for free the table of contents and introduction & cover pages on Amazon.com

Basically it's written by a therapist/councellor who has specialized in infidelity for 20years or so. Based on the couples he has councelled he lays out the steps that WS's take who are successful in re-building their marriages. I especially liked how it explains that comparing an affair to a real realationship is a non-sensical comparison. Also that it is their duty to take on the role of healer.


Me: BW Him:fWH M 5 years July
DDay: Sept 4,2011 to Oct 3rd (Continuous NC Breaking)
2 DS's - almost 2 and 3.5 years
"All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one." Tony Montana, Scarface
&

Posts: 195 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: British Columbia
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, October 12th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

+1

imho, the best book out there for the WS.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
"Not my monkeys. Not my circus." ~Polish proverb (<~~~ as a codependent person, this comes in handy sometimes!)

Posts: 3880 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, October 12th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband read it and liked it. However, he felt he had already basically got all the same information from the thread in the Wayward forum called "Things every WS needs to know..." I read the book also and agree with his assessment. It just elaborates more on the things the thread brings up. It probably adds some things, too, but can't think of any off hand.

I recommend the thread and the book!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9400 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, October 12th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This book helped my FWH "get it" for sure.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16253 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Diva0702
♀ Member
Member # 32309
Default  Posted: 4:07 AM, October 13th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is interesting. I got a copy for my FWH to read when he gets home in November. I purposely haven't read it because I don't want to be influenced to put my 'two pence worth' in!

Although we are well into R, my H sometimes needs some additional assistance to 'understand' some things, and from what everyone is saying here, this book will definately benefit his knowledge and understanding. Thankyou.


Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, October 13th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW read it and then I asked if it's worth me reading so she gave it to me to read.

Great book.


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 478 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
sj81
♀ New Member
Member # 36538
Default  Posted: 5:50 AM, October 25th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH read this, He said it was really good and helpful.
It's one of the only books that he has bothered to finish. He usually starts with good intentions then looses interest.

Posts: 31 | Registered: Aug 2012
Sissi12
♀ New Member
Member # 37163
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, November 2nd (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How much research and self-help books is your WS doing/reading? Why are we the ones that need to suggest (fix) things?

BS


Posts: 24 | Registered: Oct 2012
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, November 2nd (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How much research and self-help books is your WS doing/reading? Why are we the ones that need to suggest (fix) things?

I can't get my WW to read anything. She read this book and one chapter from another book. It pisses me off that I am trying to learn all I can and she isn't lifting a finger. She is remorseful and patient and we are in HB, but other than that, nada...

Her IC is so spaced apart it's not doing anything.

[This message edited by SecondHelping at 8:30 PM, November 2nd (Friday)]


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 478 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
Topic Posts: 13

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