I think I will get there though, starting to see a faint light at the end of this long shitty tunnel.
Knowing me, I will say something. Now I just have to think of it. LOL
I think this "opportunity" is coming at a time when we are both a bit panicked about the other one moving on. So we are more motivated than we had been, but other than that, nothing has changed. And, so no doubt, the same result will occur.
I have NO expectations.
1st day in and the only change from our normal routine was him sending me a text to say he hopes I'm having a good day & can't wait until we go out on a date. (Which I told him we needed to hold off on.) What his obsession with this date is - is beyond me. I'm not a terrible amount of fun in his company these days. I guess he sees me going out more since we separated and he thinks I've morphed into some party animal. Lol. Not in his company tho.
It's silly & it's senseless. But, I don't care. I have nothing to lose.
Good night everyone.
i am still so spittin mad at your idiot....it seems that he doesnt just do stupid well but excels at it...
i am with njgal in laying it all out for him....give him everything you want and then let him hang....which i am sure he will do exceedingly well.....as for calling the whore...not worth your time and only sinks you to her level....she seems to be quite fuzzy sending nude pics to someone is as good as sending them to everyone....
just how did you get them???and just how did she know about it????
anyways...i say lay it all out there, forget dating til he comes up with a solid commitment on what he WILL DO and then take it from there, otherwise you are wasting your time and more importantly postponning your life....the only thing worse then living the way your living for a year is doing it for a year and a day...he does not deserve anything more from you,....its up to him to decide, to choose and to commit to it 150%.....
no he does not love you, he does not love her either, the only person your jerk of a ws loves is himself, always has and always will...there is no room in his life or his world for anyone who gets in his way of what he wants when he wants it....he wants you, he wants her and probably anything with 2 legs and a vagina who will give him the time of day....
(((wye))) im with njgal...
(((nell))) you sound strong...
miracle front: pfm is still proclaiming his love and still cant understand why i wont reconcile.....he thinks he understands how i feel... ...i truly wish though that he did... ...that would be just!!!...but alas he never will.....
i detach from him more and more everyday....he still continues to do stupid really well....almost as well as mr nogood....
So, thank you.
In response to the OW comments/suggestions:
Can't reveal source of how I got the pics, but she didn't send it to him, he took them of her on the phone that I have access to rather than the secret phone that I now know about. So bizarre that I found it. Just another reminder to me that God is looking out for me, more particularly he is reaching out and trying to shake reason into me with these gifts of information that I would not likely obtain without divine intervention.
One she knew about, and the other 3 she was asleep and did not know about. So apparently, not only was she pissed at him for keeping the pic she knew about on his phone, but she was pissed he was taking pics of her without her knowledge. Lol!
When I discovered the pics & confirmed with X that he had been with her, I left her a message on her vm just stating calmly that I know she had been very apologetic to me the last time we spoke & I thought there were some things she should be aware of as I didn't think X was being honest with her. She never responded. My point was to be non-adversarial & just let her know she was not in an exclusive relationship with X. At this point, I have to say, she did nothing wrong. She knew from both the X and his coworkers (which she is still friendly with) that we were separated, she was at his apt, so that is proof enough of separation.
She never called back, but X called her to tell her that I had the pics.
Not getting sucked back into his crazy. Not sure what the Hell I'm doing, but I am keenly aware that he doesn't deserve any of this and that I'm just postponing the inevitable. So far, I told him we could just try talking more.
He took pictures of the OW while she was sleeping! That is pretty low. If we needed any more proof that he has a 15 year old mind, well there it is. Now about his obsession with the date. He is jealous, afraid that you are goinhg to have fun with someone else. He does not want you to figure out that there are other and maybe better fish in the sea. Remember, a long time ago I told you he would pay more attention to you if he thought you were interested in another man. These WSs have such a shitty double standard. A open M for them, but not for you. You need to think about what is best for you, not what is good for him.
I know my fellow menz, Dip, DP, ATS, and Tryn, will be in one accord with me as we lance these boils of manhood so they don't infect anyone else.
Merry Christmas ladies.
Rings/renewal: Nell's 15,000 Cents
I told Mr. STBXNell several times and in several different voices (sad, pathetic, mad as hell and calm) that I wanted a new wedding ring after DDay#1. He told me (and continues to believe) that I was wrong to want a new wedding ring, because of all the wondermuffin things the OLD wedding set stands for. (Er, stood for.) So, after approximately six months of forcing myself not to vomit every time I put the old set on my finger, I went out and spent $150 (or 15,000 cents, see how clever the title is?) on a plain gold band, and put it on my own finger and made promises to myself that I have more or less kept (had a couple of slip-ups). When the divorce is final, I'll sell the wedding set and buy myself something completely unnecessary and indulgent but will have the band resized for a permanent toe ring (something I haven't worn before but I want that constant reminder of my promises to myself... they're important). I had wanted to do a renewal. I'm glad I didn't. I wasn't ready and at this point I would be embarrassed had I gone through with it.
How much longer are you going to have to live with stupidity? I can't wait until you get to break free. I am strong, but a month ago (before I started the D process; I was too scared to take the first step plus I was waiting for Mr. STBXNell to get a job) one of my friends asked why I was torturing myself. It didn't feel like torture while I was in it, but it totally was.
I would be tempted to post the skanky photo on one of those checkouttheskank websites (the photo she knew about, the others do not say anything good about Nogood... ewwgross factor 7+). But I probably wouldn't do it. I would enjoy plotting how I would post it and send the link to everyone she knew so they could all go rank her skankiness and what everyone would think and how she would be so humiliated that she would move to Siberia and change her name but I would find her and email the link to all her new Siberian friends. I wouldn't do/say anything to her IRL though. Trying to explain any of this to her would be a huge waste of time and vowels. Ya can't fix stupid.
I LOVE how angry some of you get for me.
Speaking of sexual deviants, Boyo2 thinks his butt is HILARIOUS (mooning people, booty dancing, etc.) and unfortunately the other little kids think it's funny, too. So he keeps doing it even though he suffers multiple consequences when he's caught. It's going be a freaking riot when child protective services shows up at my house. I love zero tolerance.
You are wise beyond your years.
Do I have to send you his manhood for the lancing?
[This message edited by ImNellNow at 9:54 AM, November 29th (Tuesday)]
Honest and Allgood:
I have just come to the realization, and it was all so simple....I haven't decided what to do for me. I was letting the winds of fate bounce me around and really hadn't taken a stand for myself.
Love you all. Looks like Baby Paddy just graduated from PT, but will be continuing OT indefinitely.
Yesterday: Baby Paddy opens the pantry, picks up a box of pancake mix, toddles over and says "you make pancakes now." Smarty pants!
Dip - I remember your prediction. I know you are right. Still trying to figure out why I am reacting the way that I am. I started out good - told him if he wanted to get me back he just made that 10 million times less likely, and then a day later I'm entertaining this crap. I think a lack of sex is affecting my decision making process & it may be time to go shopping for something to replace Mr. Nogood, lol.
And everyone else thanks for your thoughts.
Not going to post pics of OW - I like the idea that it might stress her out - that's enough for me. Like I said, she really didn't do anything wrong this time. Plus, it's not like she looks bad in the photo - tho I must say I did not think that fake boobs could droop like that, lol. And she's only 32!
And - my feeling is that these kind of things backfire - she'd get positive attention. Seems to be the way things go, kwim?
[This message edited by Allgoodnamesgone at 11:36 AM, November 29th (Tuesday)]
BE PICKY while looking for that replacement. I still wish the LTA men could screen all candidates for any of the LTA women who are going to be dating.
I knew a guy who was getting a D. He had several ONS and a few short term A. Got caught so she D him. He was not happy that she was soon to be available. I actually heard him say "if he could not have her, he did not want anyone to have her." No shit! It was o.k. for him to cheat but he did not want her to date after the D. He had the mind of a 15 year old too.
Thanks. Does this make me a wise old fart?
I will grill a pizza for the meeting. Loaded with meat. A real man's pizza.
Thanks for the Baby Paddy update. It is good to hear that she is done with the PT. Did you fix the pancakes for her? You really need to complete these stories. Inquiring minds need to know these things.
BE PICKY while looking for that replacement.
I was thinking of something inanimate.
Dip - what sauce are you using on the meatasaurus pizza?
Allgood - inanimate objects - I saw a program on that - women marrying the San Francisco Bridge; Effifal Tower etc - just plain weird,But then again I dont think thats what you meant...
M33 - Go Baby Paddy - With all the shit in our lives its our children who brighten them.I was expecting to hear about a kitchen covered in pancake mix.
My youngest is a bottom shaker ..thankfully the pants stay on
Take care Tribe.
I guess I should have said be picky when you are shopping for BOB.
It would be a special tomato based sauce with a mixture of red meat included. That is just in case I don't get enough meat on the pizza to make us cavemen happy.
allgood: of course we are angry, as would you be, as a matter of fact i have seen you angry at some of our ws's...especially mr dishonest ...and yes, no one understands more how we feel then US...."i can relate" means more then i think any of us ever knew or could know..
m3: glad to hear about baby paddy....she's got her mom's spunk...
as for allgoods inanimate object...i think i need to back away... ...but just in case, bj's is running a sale on batteries...
nell: i love your whole toe ring promises to myself thing....i really do...