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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Codependency in the Marriage: A BSís common mistake
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
littlemrsV0813
♀ New Member
Member # 41148
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by littlemrsV0813 at 10:54 AM, November 20th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 44 | Registered: Oct 2013
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 3:22 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's great that you've got to the point of realising this. Now you need to work on getting respect and love from him, and making those dealbreakers dealbreakers!


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 937 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, December 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1935 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for flayed


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1061 | Registered: Aug 2012
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
thisissogross
♀ Member
Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 241 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8886 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
Merida
♀ Member
Member # 42437
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK re-reading this as I kick myself in the butt for getting more wrapped up in WH's business than my own

ugh

right = I can only control me

not God's business
not other people's business


"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."


WH is katumus and I am not reading his posts


Posts: 230 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Maryland
totalheartbreak
♂ Member
Member # 41589
Default  Posted: 2:18 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for m'self.


Me: BH (30s)
Wayflost: WW (30s)
"Ever notice those that advocate anything for 'happiness' are perennially unhappy?"
time isn't what you think it is.

Posts: 173 | Registered: Dec 2013
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I see myself in here a bit. Great post, first time I saw this one. My tendency is to value the M more than myself. This is wrong. I can't fix it by myself, need a willing partner.


Him: WS, 51 LTA/EA/PA(he says 1 yr, evidence = 2 yrs) D Day 3/10/14
Me: BS 52
OW: Caribbean whore, ugly
What I want: Profound, deep, passionate love.
What I got: Betrayal, heartache and Xanax.

Posts: 182 | Registered: Apr 2014
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks,Lordhasaplan, for this post. it is a lot both intellectually and emotionally to take in. I am trying hard to heal. Your words are helping.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1933 | Registered: Nov 2010
southernmess
♀ New Member
Member # 44325
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Horseluvr ....thank you for sharing your story....I related so o much .....I lol all day everyday ....how my h and dd1 & dd2 look fantastic ...are stress-free & I'm the hot mess that happened I have no idea what confidence feels like ..before dday...I had questioned my wh and checked his phone repeatedly. ..he actually became angry in my lack of trust in him ........saying ** your so damn insecure**. ..its sad...stop living in the past! All along he was indeed involved in ea & debating seeing a prostitute...bc he had fantasies of acting out really disrespectful sexual porn like stuff ....that he could never do with me bc im his wife and mother of his children....gee he's so considerate ..NOT!


~BLINDSIDED HEALING ~
Me》30 yrs.BW/
Him》29yrs. WH

Posts: 38 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: southernmess
Topic Posts: 165
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