When they came to live here, I had that gut wrenching feeling of being trapped and not really wanting the responsibility. But they were so cute and lovable. I'm a sap.
What happened is they became my saviors, my best little buddies, they licked away many tears and stuck with me through this whole horrible ordeal. I can't imagine living without them now. I love them just as much as they love me.
Whatever you decide, will be the right decision for you.
Yeah....I guess I should have qualified my comments about FWH being "crazy smart" to his being book smart. Emotionally, he's an idiot.
As for the S....I'm trusting my gut on this one. I need to be away from him for a while. I need for him to get some clarity on how he's going to be the husband I deserve. He admitted yesterday that he has not been a "husband" to me for quite some time. That's progress. He goes to Onsite on June 3rd. That will be interesting.
Miracle - I'll be thinking of you and your DD today. I hope her travels are uneventful and that she loves her time in France. Lucky girl!!
I'm reading but have nothing to say. Which is
Anyway…… the dogs. Still here. No joy from any of the rescue agencies (and I have phoned lots) – they are all full and those that have waiting lists (the RSPCA have waiting lists to go into kennels???) have – wait for it – full waiting lists…… People are starting to go on holiday and dogs are being turfed out. I think I’m going to have to wait now until one has finished her season and take it from there. Put the word out locally – notice in the vets and pet shop, etc. I cannot believe I have been so stupid. I don’t even have any papers. WTF was my head last weekend???
nofun, I had two lovely labs on d-day. One developed a brain tumour shortly after and had to be put down. the other died of (basically) old age last year. And yes, they never left my side in those early days. I walked their legs off on those days I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I think FWH is getting concerned about my spiralling. He’s going for interviews (made redundant March) and has several on the go, all coming up to final negotiation and decision time. Says he can’t make the right decision with me as I am.
For just a day – this is them. The one in the blue collar is in season, guess that’s why she’s looking gormless.
[This message edited by UKgirl at 3:27 AM, May 27th (Friday)]
Says he can’t make the right decision with me as I am.
BTW those puppies are damn cute. I'll bet if you walk them in front of a school when the children are being picked up by their mommies and let any kid there pet them... and explain sadly and loudly to every single one of them that you're "afraid you're going to have to give the poor beautiful darlings away for free" as they're not yours but were surrendered to your care... that one or two of those children will have a new pet/s within a week.
Mwah hah hah hah.
nofun and UK -- my WH did the same thing with control. Oh, no, wait, it wasn't puppies, it was BABIES.
As a matter of fact, he still asks me to have another baby at least twice a week. Not even the fact that I appear to be in menopause has deterred him.
Nanny is sick again so I am watching Team Smudgie play in the sandbox and with the hose as I type...
miracle, I do not think WH's IC is dim, I think he is under-informed. I rather carefully chose his IC three years ago. The infidelity is a bit of an issue with his IC because there is a very different attitude to infidelity throughout much of the gay community, but I'm not going to talk to his IC about infidelity per se or as a surrogate MC session -- I just want him to be fully aware of WH's behavior since Dday -- spending $65K we can't afford on a new boat, being abusive, ruining all my holidays, How long it took him to go NC with XHSGF, etc. As well as his historical pattern of behavior -- drinking, drugs, needing little sleep, infidelity, spending crazy amounts of money, mood swings, violent outbursts, the fact that his current medication isn't working well enough and he's noticably depressed and dsiturbed to others, his mood swings, etc. getting worse since he started seeing IC and taking AD's 3 years ago... sound like any particular disease to you?
Essentially, I have 3 things to say to IC (1) This is how WH behaves, are you sure you have him on the right medication (2) WH is abusive and it has to stop (3) WH's behavior both historically and since Dday isn't really the behavior of a person who wants to be married. It's the behavior of a person who wants to live what tryn calls the "married but single lifestyle."
Then, I'm going to ask them if they have any questions for me and leave so they can talk. If they want me to stay to talk to me again, I will, if not, I'll go home and leave them to it.
My friend said, do you think he's bipolar? and I said, well, it tends to present more as unipolar depression in men over 40 and it's usually discovered as bipolar more at that age after AD's have a mania-inducing effect or don't work well to control the depression -- and he never ever had trouble keeping up with me when I was partying like wild, usually it takes a bipolar to keep up with a bipolar. So, it's possible.
Yes, the IC visit should be interesting. I told WH the appointment time when he got home yesterday and he lost his shit and totally blew up at me (but in a non-abusive way -- yea him -- and then he coped by gardening) so I said, hey, you said you'd go, but I can't make you so we can cancel if you want and then I told him that the kids and I don't have to sit there while he storms around all night so I took the kids out for the rest of the evening and went to the park with a friend and had a great time and came back at dark. When I got back he apologized and said he'd had an awful 2 days and told me some things that were bugging him about work and about a friend of his and he didn't bring up the IC thing again. So, there you go. I would call that relatively positive conflict. Good for him/us!
Okay, smudgies are crying for snack now. Having awesome fun goes downhill fast when you are 1, 2, and 4!
Having awesome fun goes downhill fast when you are 1, 2, and 4!
[This message edited by ImNellNow at 11:52 AM, May 26th (Thursday)]
I just had pecan-crusted trout with a butter sauce for lunch. It was yummy and I didn't make it, which made it taste even better.
As you have the little people today, I'm guessing you had PB&J or hotdogs for lunch. Am I right?
It is easy to see that you need a man to offer some input here.
I had a ham sandwich and chips. I fixed it myself and it was so good. After I mow the yard, I think I will go and catch a few trout for supper.
I mow & weedeat. Chainsaw if needed. I got all the groceries for the weekend this morning. Wanted to beat the holiday crowd. I would be quite the catch if I was not so DAMN OLD.
P.S. It is starting to rain so the mowing may be canceled.
[This message edited by old dipstick at 4:10 PM, May 26th (Thursday)]
Then I'm going to not mow the lawn.
And - I just planned my 1st weekend trip without stbx!
It is good that you do not mow your yard. That makes a person lose weight so if you want to gain, stay on the couch.
Let me be the first to say that we all will be waiting to hear the story of this weekend trip.
yes allgood do tell us about this impending trip...does it include the kids? or is with friends??
dd is still in flight....still praying for safe arrival and safe trip from start to finish...
on the way home from the airport pfm and i talked some more....at least there was no real yelling this time....
dinner table convo was a mix....from good to issues with the boys....the issues on how they "see" their parents....kids "see" so much...it amazing on what they "see" and so far dont see....
Stongish: what happened with the kids? I know you were waiting to tell some of them -but what happened with the one that already knows? Did you and your H discuss it yet?
As for my mini-vacation - stbx advised that he was working ot (in addition to his regular schedule) this weekend, so I just decided "I'm outta here".
Bringing the kids with me - my choice of venue - probably not the best choice - but we usually take the kids to a theme park during the summer, so that's where I'm headed. Not the best choice, because this is something very difficult to do outnumbered 1:4 and with my daughter being so young.
The older ones may bitch a bit because they are not getting on "their rides" fast enough or may not be able to go on some rides because I won't be able to go on with them, but, a good time will be had by all nonetheless, damn it. Lol.
Peace to all today.
So proud of your daughter and her travels, and you for allowing her to do that. She will remember those trips always!
A friend of a friend with whom I have a book-lending relationship sent over a novel she loved about Frank Lloyd Wright, who was a WH, and his MOW, which is billed as "a great love story." Okay, I guess I can put her in the "doesn't know" column.
I have one night of the evil twin/alcoholic girlfriend taken care of... one of my very good friends has invited me out to hear one of my favorite bands at a local venue. Gotta remember to tell WH.
[This message edited by ImNellNow at 6:35 AM, May 27th (Friday)]