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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 25
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 191759 | Registered: May 2002
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

#1


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dip! That's twice in a row for you isn't it? (And dang it - I'M the one who asked the mod for the new house!)

Ok, runner-up is ok too. Lol.

So, place is very dark & empty Dip, watcha gonna do with it?

Now, I'm going to have to go running back & forth between 24 & 25 so I can comment on everyone's last posts.
I hate that!

NJGal:

You guessed right - I do not believe he has the inner fortitude to deal with all of the reconciliation mess- the MC, IC, drama, tears, questions, anger, discussions. I will never understand, however, how it's preferable to just leave the marriage and not face any of that, if you really love someone.

And, Honest - I am not inclined to give it another shot. The last few days have given me every reason to think that this is not necessarily a case of him really wanting the marriage, but not believing it possible, but more of the case that he wants his intact family. I don't think he really, really loves me. I think he cares for me, wants to maintain some kind of relationship with me, but it's not love, not by my definition anyway.

[This message edited by Allgoodnamesgone at 12:48 PM, May 11th (Wednesday)]


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bronze medal. Plus I'm on the front page. That's gotta be worth something, right? Now to go back and actually read.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4th!

Hah! I always dreamed about 4th.


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood.

Sorry about that. I did not know you requested the new house. Being runner-up to me is like being first anywhere else. I'm quick as a cat! Laura was #1 in the last house. I could have been last at that house but I would have had to post three times in a row. I thought that was tacky.

I mentioned a garage theme for this place in 24. I'm still waiting for the rave reviews about that. How about a oldtime pool hall wing just off the garage living room. It could have a bowling alley basement. Does this sound good so far?


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dip,
Two questions.
1) Where's the grill?
2) Who's cooking?


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right, not to have the women completely take over (again), but can we add a nice stone paved patio outside for the grill area & some nice wrought iron furniture with cute, fluffy cusions on it.
Course, we're going to need an outdoor bar, with blender.
And, the view - don't forget the view!


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

garage living room

Is this a lack of punctuation or is the living room in the garage?
I'm confused.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell & Allgood.

Did you go back to 24 and read my post about the GARAGE THEME for the house? I said something about several grills outside. The cooking can be done by anyone who can grill. I guess I can put in a nice kitchen for those indoor cooks. The garage living room is what it sounds like. I have seen Harleys in the living room. You get used to it. BTW, you would not believe how loud one of those things are inside a house!

I agree with the view. I know just the place. It has a kick ass view. I'm not sure about the fluffy cushions though. Fluffy cushions don't go with garage.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Garage living room....

Ok, yes, this is the reason why we don't let the men decorate.

I mean, are you going to sit on the motorcycle while watching tv?

I was thinking like a big garage, where you can keep your Harley & what-not & there can be some pinball machines, maybe one of those basketball things you find in a bar & a tv, some manly stools or something to sit on.

Then outside.... (where the ladies will be, lol) is the kick ass view & my nice patio.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the bowling alley idea, too! Love me some bowling.

Does anyone in LTA have a motorcycle?


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8934 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You don't sit on the motorcycle and watch t.v. You have couches and chairs. They might be made out of car seats though.

I don't think you should keep the men from decorating just because I screwed it up. I believe I said in 24 that ats, tryn and Deep might be better at this.

It was nice of you to think of the pinball machines & stuff.

Sister.

We were cross posting. I have a Harley. It has never been in the living room though.

[This message edited by old dipstick at 4:19 PM, May 11th (Wednesday)]


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, actually, mine was. When I was a teen (17) my boyfriend and I bought a '55 panhead engine and we built a chopper in our apartment living room.

I probably did more wrench handing and holding onto different parts 'til needed, but I did help. We didn't start it in the living room. It did kick over first time we started it, though.

Unfortunately now a motorcycle is a trigger for me. OW had a motorcycle.
But, I could deal with a motorcycle in our house on LTA.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8934 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I fantasize about having a Harley. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm woman enough for one. There is absolutely no way I could get it upright if I ever put it down. A friend who rides Harleys looked me up and down and said, "no," when I mentioned it. Maybe I could handle one of those lightweight Japanese bikes. (We called them crotch-rockets in college.)

Okay, listen... fellas, do what you want. I reserve the right to accessorize for comfort. (Big, fluffy pillows... patchwork quilts... what have you.)


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i am obviously late for the open house party..

now this is really strange, but i have only 3 emoticon thingys to choose from...



so i guess i need to keep all my comments reflective of those....or so i will try..

i gots no issue with the garage theme, love the bowling idea and love the pinball games...can we have pac man too....

dont much care for motorcycles...witnesses a hells angel after an accident to get steel pins removed...i was a candy striper....it was not pretty....or i should say his reaction to it was not pretty....the bigger they are the harder they fall....


one serious question and thats for sister milkshake....you stated in the last house that you do not want anyone to get to know the real you....so why are you hiding out...or is this too personal?...


(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sister Milkshake I too am interested in your comment. Is that just here? Or just since Dday? Or a life- long thing?


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, May 11th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmmmm garage theme? Well, I'm thinking of a detached garage with maybe a second story where all the "toys" could be like the pin ball machine, pool table, fooz ball, pac man for Miracle, and oh yes.... Air Hockey!!

But, Dip, you have to tell us what the view is. Is it mountains, a lake, woods, what?


Posts: 1897 | Registered: Jan 2010
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, May 12th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgood:

I think he cares for me, wants to maintain some kind of relationship with me, but it's not love, not by my definition anyway

This, unfortunately, is your answer.

He does love you the best he knows how, but as you are realizing, it's not what you really want. You love him deeply, but he's incapable of loving you the same way. He is too immature to do so, and it's so bittersweet and such a shame.

This is where you decide if you want to settle. It is possible to rug sweep with your WH and try to go on, because he is incapable of doing anything more. You can settle being with this man who you love very deeply, and stay for the kids, and be perhaps semi content, but I feel from all your posts, that you do NOT want to settle for that.

I really, really know what you are going through. You want so very much for your WH to do the right thing, to fight for you and the marriage, to love you that he'll do anything not to lose you. It hurts so damn much that he is not doing these things. {{{Allgood}}}

Dip, thanks for your advice. LOL, I spoke too soon last night. After I left her in her room to cool off, lo and behold, I hear her toddling down the hall to where I was.
I think from what you wrote in your post that you are setting boundaries, and unfortunately, it's so hard to keep them because they are tested so very much. I don't know how you do it.

Mom stayed another day because she said she wasn't feeling well I hope I can survive another day.

At least I know one thing for sure and don't feel guilty about it, Mom cannot live with me, I'll end up in a mental hospital.

{{{{{tribe}}}}


Posts: 1897 | Registered: Jan 2010
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, May 12th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a great night out. I do have friends, even if a couple of them work for me. Then I came home.

FWW had a good night with her clients from work. She has a netting tomorrow while I go to a musical I won tickets to. Saturday she has a work meeting. Time to take the boat out.

ETA, laura28 are you moving on?

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 12:41 AM, May 12th (Thursday)]


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

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