Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Any recommendations for books on these topics?
dignity
♀ Member
Member # 27471
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, May 3rd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

- Passive aggressive males
- codependency in marriage
- regulating emotional intensity

Thanks!


Me: BS, 40
Him: WH, 48
Married 20 yrs
D-Day 2nd Feb '10
D-Day 2 (TT): 19 Feb (happy birthday to me!)
recurring ONSs with same OP (our SIL), over 3 yrs. Cuddling, kissing and EA in between.
2 DS: 16 and 12
Ongoing NC, MC, IC. Getting to R.

Posts: 621 | Registered: Feb 2010
UR_AN_IDIOT
♀ Member
Member # 18764
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, May 3rd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Check these out to see if they fit for your situation.

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover

Co-Dependent No More By Melody Beattie and her follow-up book Beyond Co-Dependent


Me:BW 48
FWH: 50

Married 25 years
DD 23 DS 21
Reconciled


Posts: 12696 | Registered: Mar 2008
dignity
♀ Member
Member # 27471
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, May 3rd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks... I have read co=dependent no more. Is the follow up very different?

WIll check no more mr. nice :)


Me: BS, 40
Him: WH, 48
Married 20 yrs
D-Day 2nd Feb '10
D-Day 2 (TT): 19 Feb (happy birthday to me!)
recurring ONSs with same OP (our SIL), over 3 yrs. Cuddling, kissing and EA in between.
2 DS: 16 and 12
Ongoing NC, MC, IC. Getting to R.

Posts: 621 | Registered: Feb 2010
UR_AN_IDIOT
♀ Member
Member # 18764
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, May 3rd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The follow up was written after her divorce from a co-dependent marriage (per the internet description).


Me:BW 48
FWH: 50

Married 25 years
DD 23 DS 21
Reconciled


Posts: 12696 | Registered: Mar 2008
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, May 3rd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud & Townsend. It mentions co-dependency, but as someone who struggles with co-dependency, I needed the help with defining healthy boundaries.

Dialectical Behavior Therapsy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotional Regulation & Distress Tolerance by Matther McKay, PhD.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
dignity
♀ Member
Member # 27471
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, May 4th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you... I checked out the DBT book... looks good. Would you say it is more for people who are OVER emotional? Or for those who shut down/avoid distress and conflict? Or both?


Me: BS, 40
Him: WH, 48
Married 20 yrs
D-Day 2nd Feb '10
D-Day 2 (TT): 19 Feb (happy birthday to me!)
recurring ONSs with same OP (our SIL), over 3 yrs. Cuddling, kissing and EA in between.
2 DS: 16 and 12
Ongoing NC, MC, IC. Getting to R.

Posts: 621 | Registered: Feb 2010
Hope24
♀ Member
Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, May 4th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Emotionally Unavailable Man by Patti Henry.

Half of it is devoted to men and their healing, the other is written for his partner.


She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7603 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, May 7th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would you say it is more for people who are OVER emotional? Or for those who shut down/avoid distress and conflict? Or both

Both. However, I will say that FWH had a great deal of trouble dealing with emotions. He's a recovering alcoholic, and he drank to get rid of any uncomfortable emotion- and almost any emotion was uncomfortable. IC helped the most with dealing with this. His counselor used a step-wise approach with him to help him identify when he was having a feeling, what feeling it was, and decide what he needed to do with the feeling.

DBT takes a similar approach.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum: The Book Club Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.