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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Before You Say Reconcile...
tomz
♂ Member
Member # 33592
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, October 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW, I just realized that we never R'd with the first PAs 12 years ago. Why should I believe that we'll R with this one?


Me: BH and fWH 46
Her: BW and fWW 43
4 kids
3 granddaughters
D-Day #1 04/2000 WW CL hookups
D-Day #2 2006 WW CL hookups
D-Day 2009 Myself caught in PA/EA
D-Day #3 10/2011 WW CL hookups

Separating


Posts: 150 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Texas
npain
♀ Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, October 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im 2 1/2 months past DDay and my WH is not remorseful at all.His fog is keeping him solidly in the right hand column. No transparency, angry all the time, and it's starting to affect the kids now too. I'm trying to pray and wait things out till the end of the year...


S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

Posts: 515 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, October 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumped for the newly hurting.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, October 22nd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
confusedbeyond
♀ Member
Member # 33462
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, October 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am only a month out from D day but WS seems to be doing all these things. Am I too optimistic to think that maybe getting caught was the kick in the ass he needed tobring him back into reality. BTW- He ended the relationship and OW would not move on which is how I found out.


BS: Me 35
WS: him 37
3 children 5,3, 3 mons
D day 9/23/11
still getting trickling info but WS is acting remorseful. both in IC, MC

Posts: 115 | Registered: Sep 2011
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, October 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, October 29th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

I just printed this and, boy, I love it.

This says it all so succinctly, perfect for being 6 weeks out from D Day.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
GK109
♀ Member
Member # 33680
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, October 29th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*bump*
I get the 180, but what/where is the tactical primer?

Posts: 64 | Registered: Oct 2011
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, October 29th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's a list of all threads that are usually recommended for the newly hurting, including the Tactical Primer:


Tactical Primer:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=235051


Boundaries and Consequences 101:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=385631


Setting Healthy Boundaries:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=231851


Understanding the 180:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=232785


20/20 Hindsight: What I Wish I'd Done:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=161389


Great Posts for Newbies to Read:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=361740


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, October 31st (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4171 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 2:10 AM, November 1st (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5884 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, November 3rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7662 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
SabinatheOwl
♀ Member
Member # 30023
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, November 6th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Details & story in profile

"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou


Posts: 1350 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Metro DC
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, November 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5884 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
marzipan
♀ Member
Member # 28544
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, November 17th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


me--Mean Batshit Crazy Pottymouth
him-- Swampy the WH
divorce DONE!!!!

http://soulmateshmoopies.wordpress.com/
PART 16-- "You are Such a Good Mother"


Posts: 4076 | Registered: May 2010
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, November 24th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, November 29th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 7662 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Lost and Betraye
Member
Member # 33988
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, November 30th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft


Posts: 317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CA
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, November 30th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And again!

Posts: 814 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, December 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5884 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 405
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