Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Cryingforhelp (43146)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Part 24
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats: your jealousy thing...you have something no one else has ever had with her...she genuinely loves you, she is genuinely changing all of who she is FOR YOU.....herself included but mostly i think for you....the fact that she is also doing it for herself is the key to her successes in doing this....you have her heart, ONLY YOU....no one else has had that...no one else has been able to motivate her to be a better mrs ats...ONLY YOU....there is so much that is ONLY YOU...revel in that, kkkk


and i hope that when her journey is done on healing her wounds from her past and she puts herself together, i can't say back together since she never really was....so when she puts herself together i hope you do rethink the "new ring" for a new her...and maybe incorporate the old ring to keep you both aware of the journey you were on together....

tryn: i love love love the whole idea of what you are doing, going away, proposing and the renewals...totally disagree with you saying that if she says no you will divorce her....lets get a grip here, if she says no it will be the mrs tryn who is so sorry about it all im thinkin that would say no....so find out why she says no if she does....she may also feel that she has not earned it yet...do not jump to conclusions without first listening to everything she would have to say and keep an open mind...why you may ask, (and even if you don't.. )...because you love this woman, you share a life with this woman which includes 2 great kids.....so listen..kkkk


and about allgoods decision to divorce....was not a decision made upon her choices but his.....so a divorce is not the choice she wants, it is the decision made because of his choices past and present....he had the ball in his court and threw it back at her really not giving her choice really...because if she had her true choice divorce would not be it....


njgal: just wanted to give you a shout out...your posts are always so inspiring even to those of us who are not reconciling...and i love that in a previous post i believe i saw you label yourself as reconiled as opposed to reconciling

(((tribe)))


oh, almost forgot took manchild to his accepted students reception at his college today, and my favorite part was when he was talking about possibly applying for an honors program scholarship...which he needs a 3.6 or better gpa......now if he walks that walk after talking the talk.....i will be one happy happy camper....


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Miracle....
I do feel reconciled lately.
I am so happy for your son. It sounds as if he is starting out his college career on the right foot!


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iwant.. If she says no, then maybe I'll listen to why but my thinking is that it's a fresh promise. It's me to determine if she's earned it, not her. I'll be rejected. IMO, if she says NO, my believe is that her A is deep underground.

Yep, it will be then 100% my choice to seek a partner who wants someone like me. I guess it's become my boundary. I have no reason to think she will say no. I won't like it and it will send me a negative message.

As for allgood's decision... I do believe that sometimes the things others do give us no other choice but to make the decision to D. Once we make it don't look back!

[This message edited by trynhard at 4:31 PM, April 9th (Saturday)]


Posts: 2635 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

Strong

I finished by telling him to grow a pair of ba__s. If he needs to cut back on work to be home more, than HE needs to find a way to finance that

I know this feeling and agree. FWH worked lots of evening shifts for years. Because I was at work during the day and he didn't get home until 11.30 pm we often went for long periods only passing in the mornings. He was such an arsehole I actually loved being at home alone evenings and not having to put up with his shit. While he was with OW3 he swapped lots of shifts to be with her during the day (I worked this out after dday but didn't realise before) and also used to pretend to be asleep in the mornings to avoid me. In the first few months after dday I told him that "evenings are the worst" and why. Now he tries to swap shifts the other way to be home in the evenings and has taken holidays or LSL when he has had a lot of evenings. This has really helped. I feel that finally he is putting ME first (I have never been first before) and it makes me feel important.

So I really hope he does SOMETHING to ensure he is home more. For me it is the effort that counts so even when FWH does have to work some evenings I don't mind because I know he wants to be with me.

miracle

I can see so much of the passive/aggressive personality in my FWH. I can tick most of the behaviours and attitudes described. All those now seem to be gone. Permanently I hope. Can someone change that much in just a few months?

I agree with NJgal - your son is obviously heading off to college with a great attitude. I wonder where he gets THAT from?

Tryn

I agree with NJgal about those BSs who choose to R. I actually believe that for those whose FWS is remorseful R takes an enormous amount of courage. To agree to R means putting yourself out there and risking going through the excruciating pain of another dday. It means allowing the WS back into your soul.


Love the holiday spot and the idea of the renewal. I think you should also listen to miracle's advice about if she says no. Our FWSs still have a lot of pain themselves and sometimes it comes out in ways we don't understand.

If all goes to plan FWH and I will do the same next year. We are planning to go to France in May/June. After reading your post I had a scary thought. My dday is May 28. This will be my second antiversary. I began to wonder if this is the day we should do it. Wow. Could I cope with that?

NJgal

I've written on here about how helpful it was for me to have the 'new' memory of the recommitment ceremony as opposed to thinking of my anniversary date as representing a failed marriage and broken vows- having the recommitment ceremony on our anniversary date definitely helped me to reclaim our anniversary.
Now, as it approaches I do not have any triggers at all. That date reminds me of our commitment to each other and how we have both worked so hard to save our marriage

I think perhaps my idea for a renewal came from your posts. What do you think about using the date of dday? I'd really like to think I could do it but I'm not sure. I suppose in a way it wouldn't be much harder than the original wedding anniversary date????

Tribe

It's 8am Sunday here and FWH has gone to work. I began two weeks holidays yesterday (yay!!!)and he will have about 10 days off starting next Friday. Next Sat I will have my first appointment with a psychologist who does EMDR. I have to drive about 220miles each way each week to see her - for about 8-10 sessions - so I hope it is worth it. Will let you know how it goes.

HUGS to all

Laura

[This message edited by Laura28 at 5:03 PM, April 9th (Saturday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura-
Yay! for you having some time off from work coming up! What are your plans for your vacation?

About renewing your vows on the dday antiversary- that could work too.
I would look at it as a victory over the darkness that had crept into your marriage.Good won out over evil. You reclaimed your marriage.
Sorry if it sounds a bit dramatic but that's how I sometimes think to try to overcome the negative thoughts.
I try to use imagery.... for example when a trigger starts to creep in I think of it as a dark cloud and imagine myself literally pushing it away.
So, hopefully, that will work for you.
Like I said when my anniversary comes around my first thought is to that recommitment ceremony and the romantic weekend. That's what pops into my head.

again... don't get me wrong.. there were still many years of hard work that followed. I just needed something to mark this passage-the day he moved back home after our separation. I didn't want him to move back home without anything to make him realize what a huge deal it was.It had to be a new beginning in every way.

I did try to do some EMDR.
I knew someone who had gone for it and had been helped.
I definitely could see how it could work.
The first few sessions can be extremely emotional because you basically relive all of your most traumatic memories (and for me it wasn't just the LTA..I had a fairly dysfunctional childhood). So here I was bringing all this stuff up and I was just too fragile to get to through it.
So I stopped for awhile before we got to the actual EMDR part-which is where they try to desensitize you to your trauma. They teach you techniques how to deal with the triggers.
I can definitely see how it can work.
Unfortunately for me when I was ready to go back for the EMDR the therapist moved out of state! and.. I just wasn't ready to find someone new to go to.
I have been seeing an IC on and off for the last 4 yrs.
So, I say go for it!
Be ready for some emotion at first but after first few sessions... the calming part comes in.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NJgal

Yes I want to reclaim that date. I don't want to dread it's approach each year. It's also so close to my mum's death I don't want the confusion of two hurtful anniversaries.

Thanks for advice re EMDR. I've always tried to "deal" with problems I've had in life. I hate just letting things happen to me. I want to fix stuff.

That's what I've found so hard with this one. No matter what happens (remorseful FWH who is trying so hard to do everything he can) I can't stop the hurt. I'm not rug sweeping - I just don't want the pain any more. I know the first few sessions will be tough but I can deal with that if I know it will get better. That's the problem with this affair shit. The waiting to feel better! I don't want to forget - just not hurt. So hoping EMDR can help with this. Worth a try anyway.

I really appreciate your support.

Hugs to all the tribe.

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been lurking and reading and praying for everyone.
Big hugs to you Strongish and Nell.
Miracle, yay for your DS!
Tryn, what a beautiful thing you are planning! It sounds wonderful.

{{{{Allgood}}}}

Nothing much here. Just tremendously sad, and waiting until next week to try to talk to WH about finances. Trying to detach and looking at him realistically. DS 16 is helping with that. We were at the supper table and WH was boasting about some thing he did when he was younger and DS 16 asked him some questions and the NPD was going on and on. DS's eye catches mine and he smiling and almost rolling his eyes. DS sees it!

I shouldn't have to have my feelings validated like this and be able to do it on my own.

Love to everyone.


Posts: 1897 | Registered: Jan 2010
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi honest

((((((honest))))))

What a wonderful son you have. he will be your rock in future.

I LOVE him!!!

I shouldn't have to have my feelings validated like this and be able to do it on my own.

You have wonderful children who love their mum. You have done so much for them. Now let them (and us) take care of you.

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi miracle

Re the date. You may be right. I will think long and hard on it.

With you as his mum I'm sure manchild WILL "walk the walk". Maybe not straight away but certainly in the near future

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now that's WEIRD

I read miracle's post - responded to it and my response then appeared before her post.

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, April 9th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

okee dokee, i think i will start with honest...

don't be so hard on yourself concerning your ds giving you the validation you truly need....remember your ws is so damned good at manipulation, he had you thinking for years, fucking years that so much was your fault, your doing, your neediness, your _______(insert anything here).....that he has and had you questioning yourself, he was the king of gaslighting...to have someone there irl who see's its not you, well its reaffirming to you that its not YOU, that you are not crazy going insane or just out of your mind with issues...kwim...so relish it that there is someone there who does love this man and "sees" really "sees" what you see.....what you couldn't see because you were so busy blaming yourself too....


next:

tryn: oh my gosh, there are times tryn i want to shake you upside the head...and this would be one of them...take a minute and think here, if she says no, you MUST listen to her WHY...her feelings here may be off the mark but they are hers and you have no clue how much she is taking on with all of this....i personally dont think she will say no, but there is that chance because she has been questioning her worth....her shame.....her past actions.....she may truly feel that she has not earned it...and i truly believe that this would be the only thing that would make her say no....if she says no for other reasons like she regrets ever marrying you in the first place...then do what you gotta do...but you won't know unless you LISTEN....didn't they teach you that at retrovaille....and lately havent you said she has been feeling somewhat rejected or something like that....just listen to her and hear her out before you go jumping....all those birds didn't send you those messages so that you could bail out now, not when you really are almost there....but like i said if she regrets marrying you all together...totally different scenario on that one....

and there was something else i wanted to say but its gone...i hate when that happens...so i may be back later if it comes back to mind....


ok laura: before you make the decision to renew your vows on the d-day i want you to put yourself like 10 years out from now....do you really want it somewhere in the back of your mind that the date was also the d-day....now i am a big proponent of reclaiming dates and days...but i would think long and hard before i would put something so important and significant with something that should not be.....i think renewal of ones vows should be treated as sacred stuff, (something they always should have been)...i also think that because of the significance behind the date it should have its own date, one that stands alone...with that is solely dedicated to both of you and has no value to anything else.....

if you really believe that you could still do it on the date and reclaim it in such beautiful way then i say more power to you....but think long and hard and remember put yourself out like 10 years forward and really feel it...

i also feel that if you feel the time of month is wrong,after thinking on it, pick another month....go for something different, this is after all a different marriage you are creating...give it its own identity...

just some thoughts....


oh, and about manchild...he is always really good a talking the talk just like his father, and just like his father he sucks on walking the walk...i pray he proves me wrong on this...and that he steps away from old habits and becomes a man of integrity, something both he and his father do not possess as yet...as for pfm, i dont believe the man will ever have integrity, be a man of honor.....and i truly hope and pray everyday that manchild breaks away from the mold....


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iwant.. LOL... I will listen. I don't think she will say NO.

As for rejection over sex... I would say a rejection over me asking to renew vows is a 10 of 10, and sex is a 6. This sex issue really is her issue. I initiate, she cannot say NO... yet somehow feels obligated. I call that a relationship issue. I told het to just say NO. She's yet, to say No so far. It's nuts??

But heck, we get along great and have alotta fun together. I really am doing this for her to feel more forgiven. If I get rejected I won't feel good... but just by your post my feelings will be tempered because my planning was to be upset but now to listen.. lol

[This message edited by trynhard at 5:42 AM, April 10th (Sunday)]


Posts: 2635 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

laura:

Now that's WEIRD

I read miracle's post - responded to it and my response then appeared before her post.

YUP....very weird....didn't even see your response til now.....kind of a freaky thing...maybe it wasnt meant for me to respond back to you last nite...cuz i came back a few times before going to bed to see if there was any more posted and i didn't see you because i didn't see your response before mine...cause i didn't look there..

freaky stuff....


anyways...


glad you are thinking over the date laura....this way you will be sure to be taking the path of least regret...which as you all know is my favorite path...not always the easiest to follow in the heat of the moment though...


tryn: i am especially glad you will listen....totally especially....


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Checking in Tribe. Yesterday was my 28th wedding anniv. The whole day sucked. It started out with FWH getting pissy with me because I spoke to him in anger and rage the night before. He said that I sounded like I had no tenderness for him anymore. Needless to say, I got angry...again....and we finished the conversation with him saying that he thought it would be best if we D. As I walked away I couldn't resist a parting shot.....that in the less than 24 hours since I had put the ball in his court, he was bailing out. I said (sarcastically) that I was real impressed with the work he had done on our M since the day before.

Later in the afternoon he wanted to talk again. This time he backpedaled on the D and said that he was going to try and call this friend of ours, go to a week retreat, whatever it took. It goes without saying that I'm a veg at this point.

What I did do was follow through with what I told him about no longer keeping this a secret. I told both my sisters yesterday why I have been kind of standoffish. One already knew, one suspected. It feels good to not have to keep this giant secret inside of me. FWH is going to have to learn to live in the REAL world, not the one he wishes it could be.

Gotta go....he's home all weekend and he likes to follow me around.

Miracle - Glad to hear about your son. Congrats!!

[This message edited by strongish at 9:19 AM, April 10th (Sunday)]


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((strong))))

that just sucks hon, and i am so sorry that your ws doesnt seem to "get it"......he is doing stupid really well it seems...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strong-
Sorry he lost his temper.
He has to undrstand that its not all about him all the time. He's angry because your still upset about his LTA???

My advice is that he needs to stop throwing around the D word unless he is really prepared to follow through with it.
I don't think it sounds like he really wants that...he just wants you to instantly forgive him and move on.
That's where intense IC with someone who is familiar with infidelity and the trauma it causes would be helpful for him.
He doesn't get it.

What retreat week is he talking about? Something alone with his friends? or with you?
A marriage retreat?

Retrouvaille may be something for the two of to consider.

Is he willing to cut back on his work travel so that he can focus on working on himself and on the marriage?

And... you already know how I feel about telling. I told everyone and I don't regret it. He had to 'own' what he did. Keeping secrets keeps the marriage sick (but, that's my opinion).
I'm glad that you shared this with your sisters. You need support IRL.
But, remember, when it comes to taking advice from those that have never experienced infidelity-until you've been through you just have no idea.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Strongish, FWW and I both tossed out the D word in frustration our first year. It was not so much what either of us wanted, but of a way to let the other off the hook and "prove" she (or me) was not really committed to the M. We do not use it now; we have experienced enough success that we know we can work through fights and anger. Early on, it was FWW reeling me back in, even before she had committed to the M. When (or if) Mr. Strongish embraces his issues leading to and perpetuating the A, the "cut and run" reaction at the first sign of tension should abate. If you are interested in R, take his coming back and back-pedaling as a good sign.

Tryn, you are at the same place I am with FWW and sex.

This sex issue really is her issue. I initiate, she cannot say NO... yet somehow feels obligated. I call that a relationship issue. I told het to just say NO. She's yet, to say No so far.

I agree it is her issue, but until she works her issue out, I believe that I will continue to cause damage and delay healing if I keep putting her in the position of making a choice between obligation and NO. I am really working at waiting for her to initiate. If she initiates I do not try to second-guess her anymore. The last time I asked and did not wait for her to initiate resulted in her cutting.

--Ats

[This message edited by atsenaotie at 10:18 AM, April 10th (Sunday)]


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3961 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

It's 7.30am Mon here and looks like a beautiful day coming up.

Strong

As NJgal said

My advice is that he needs to stop throwing around the D word unless he is really prepared to follow through with it.

I see this as emotional blackmail. How dare he!!! Your pain is raw enough without him doing this all the time.

If my FWH suggested it even once I would say "Pack your bags. If that's how you feel I don't want you!". (Then when he left I'd go and curl up in a ball and cry in the cupboard).

What I did do was follow through with what I told him about no longer keeping this a secret. I told both my sisters yesterday why I have been kind of standoffish. One already knew, one suspected.

If he's talking D I'd out him to everybody. Don't take any shit from him. Sheesh I am so mad at him for you. FUCKTARD!!!

How long did your sisters know or suspect for?

Tryn and Ats

I wish I could give advice re sex and your FWWs but I find it difficult. TMI My FWH has never really liked me initiating. He never said it before but it was an impression I had. Don't know why - just his way I suppose. Never really worried me. Anyway, I did initiate a few times during HB and he told me that one night when I did (in the middle of the night) he found it really "weird". Needless to say I haven't initiated since. I suppose I'm just saying that maybe there are some deep memories/experiences of you or FOM that makes this hard for them. KWIM???

At Laura's Place

FWH has gone to work. He is on day shift Mon-Thurs and then holidays for 10 days. WE are going for my EMDR appointment next Sat and to see the kids. This week I need to do lots of chores including the taxes.

Now I am expecting lots of 2X4s.

I monitor OW3s FB daily. I know she doesn't matter and I shouldn't but it gives me some security. I find it so hard that he still works with both OW2 and OW3. He tells me about any encounters with them which is good but those niggling fears remain and I like to know what they are up to.

This appeared on OW3s FB this morning and I feel so happy. I know I shouldn't but it's the vindictive bitch in me coming out. Just wanted to share some joy with my friends.

"sometimes you think you have life all sorted then along comes a bomb and it all blows up in your face."


KARMA BUS!!!!!!

Hugs to all

Laura

[This message edited by Laura28 at 3:56 PM, April 10th (Sunday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH and I went to the ADHD seminar yesterday and we are both still alive. It was good to meet other parents who say, "yeah, my kid does that, too." It was REALLY good for WH to go and listen to an expert talk about ADHD (and, bonus, it was a man) and give some feedback to his (WH's) feelings and worries. I think WH and I are on the same page now... we'll see when push comes to shove.

Otherwise, just living the parallel universe thing. WH apparently remembers that my birthday is coming up, because he just called while out buying socks and groceries to ask me if there's anything in particular that I want. (Yes, a husband who is faithful, finds me attractive and values me. Or three million dollars.) Yay, my birthday. Big fucking woo.

I dunno. Everything's fine, I guess. Flatness. Flatness, anger, anger, flatness. How I love this.

Meanwhile, the "how to help your spouse" book and the forgiveness book are both on their way. I don't really care about either one of those, either. Fucking WH and his stupid fucking issues. (She says with no emotion.)


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Flatness. Flatness, anger, anger, flatness. How I love this.

Fucking WH and his stupid fucking issues.

(((((NELL)))))

Love
Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.