m3--Can I ask if you knew it was going on all of those 20yrs?
Dear God no! First of all, I was only 14 when he started seeing her -- I met him when I was 23, started dating him at 25, we got married when I was 27. Hell no! I found a naked picture of her on his phone on Oct. 21st 2009, spent a few weeks deciding whether to hire a PI and divorce him or if I wanted to try R -- confronted him the day after Thanksgiving and when he lied, lied, lied e-mailed my "friend" (yes, he introduced us, our kids were best friends, we vacationed together, etc.) and basically gave her the option to either sell WH out or I tell her BH.
Hell, no I did not know! No WAY.
So, there you go.
Everyone I told was SHOCKED. He totally didn't act like he was with her when we were all together. They met by taking sick days and were always home on time, etc. No, it was very underground by the time I came along because she'd already been married quite a few years. In fact, she had her first child the day of my 3rd date with WH.
Anyhoo, hope that helps. WH and I had been together 8 years when I figured it out.
You have to be your own hero. Don't give me any credit for that though -- I read it somewhere else on SI, LOL.
As for the rest of you GoofBalls:
I'm so glad you had a fun day!
-- Peace, M3
Today (the 15th) he bought me a huge kite in the shape of a butterfly. He has done well and I am pleased.
No more DDays for me as I know it's going on and won't change...it's way past time for me to move on....
My H is not someone you can tell anything to..you have to show him and that's exactly what I am doing....
I’m pleased for those whose FWS’s have stepped up and made an effort for Valentine’s Day. Mr UKg was at his SIL’s funeral, so that was his get out. And no, he did nothing this year And I don’t expect him to give me an “alternative” VDay like Nell and Mr Nell. Although I plan to do one for him I think it will have to be Saturday as it looks like that will be the only day he will be home.
I am 4 yrs post d-day and it has really only been in the last few months that I have felt a real sense of peace.
So, even with all the intensive IC, MC, etc. time is a big part of the healing process.
(He still wants to insist that he never actually LIED since it was lies of omission. But I digress.....)
I think we need another bout of MC. It’s been about three years……
H signed the refi papers yesterday and we are on our way with that. Just revised the separation agreement to update the finances.
So I am invited to go on this express bus tour? Am I just going to be the cook or do I get to drive?
LOL – great names and great superheroes! Where on earth did you find that GREAT pic Nell?? Go get 'em!! I quite like Electra myself….
As for me – I’m doing an Indian head massage course and this is what I have planned for MOW…… LOL
Well, it made me smirk! Off to bed – night tribe. Catch up on your chatter tomorrow.
[This message edited by UKgirl at 4:56 PM, February 16th (Wednesday)]
Any cabana boys show up and DP will kick their ass.
Yes I will guard the bus while you girls are out kicking ass. I will be armed and dangerous. Cooking with one hand and shooting with the other. No big problem.
GoofBalls? You really think we are goofballs?
Hugs to the tribe.
UKgirl, I hope your Saturday is lovely, whatever you end up doing.
ETA: Not so sure ats and tryn will want to have any part in this little experiment in vendettarocity... but as far as I'm concerned the more the merrier!
[This message edited by ImNellNow at 5:48 PM, February 16th (Wednesday)]
We've already got a Strong. (Just drop the -ish!) Hit Girl is good.
lol, sorry Nell, but I was addressing Strong!!! When I reread my post, I realized how it could have been misinterpreted!! I do like Dip's suggestion of "KickassNell", though And even if Phoenix is used already, I like the concept of risen=Rose, but perhaps a little of the darker side with a thorn? Rose Thorn? I can be a "thorn" in the side if need be!
Electra, sounds good, UKgirl. Thank you for your support. I like to write, but know I'm not great, love to draw, and play the guitar, but as accompaniment (sp?), not as a performer!!
Dip, thank you for offering to drive and especially to grill for us!!!
M3, you have to join in the fun. You have been through WAY too much. Talk about compartimentalization that your WH does. I'm so sorry. At least if you come, you can enjoy Dip's grilling!
Sorry, I think we left the cabana boys back at house 22
[This message edited by deeppurple at 6:26 PM, February 16th (Wednesday)]
[This message edited by trynhard at 6:31 PM, February 16th (Wednesday)]
BTW, Laura, I wanted to give a thumbs up to your WH for the butterfly kite. Perhaps you can be "Metamorphisis"?
little experiment in vendettarocity
LOve it! Another little Nell-ism I'm adopting.
[This message edited by Allgoodnamesgone at 7:38 PM, February 16th (Wednesday)]
I have enjoyed the last week being a bit disengaged. Since dday I have been trying to be chatty, smiling, social, and helping. The fact is, I am a strong INTJ. For this last week I have enjoyed the inward focus. It may be that FWW needs a more emotionally expressive partner, and I am comfortable with rationality and inward reflection. We will see, but I anm actually feeling more "at home". If FWW is an hout late getting home, it doesen't really matter if I am not counting on her for anything.
[This message edited by atsenaotie at 7:50 AM, February 17th (Thursday)]
Maybe I was pfm in a previous life.
thankfully i was not drinking anything as i read this for i surely would have not only not been able to retain it but would have ruined my keyboard...
well girls we could be the kkk....the kick-ass karma kittens and our boys will be ad's our attack dogs of course...
so dip will you use the spatula the tongs or the basting brush as your weapon of choice...
tryn i see you have decided to use the almight plunger....i think i like the symbolism of that one....isn't it usually shit that clogs the drains..
that movie kick-ass was cute, definitely different...we watched it a couple of weeks ago....
???i gots no clue what this stands for, i have enough trouble with so many initials, some of course i got down really really well....but this one????...i need help on the definition please...
Early mark from school today. h is still at work (suddenly doing all these day shifts lol) and I am sitting here grinning from ear to ear after almost falling off my chair catching up on the latest merriment.
Thanks everyone for "making my day" - didn't someone say that in a movie???? I remember - Dirty Harry. perhaps someones could be Dirty Harriet?????
Me I really want to be Lisbeth. I know it doesn't sound kickass but for me it would make me feel strong. She was used, abused, betrayed and villified and came out the other side self possessed, independent and even wealthy!!! I want to be her (minus the asbergers!. I would rate the Millenium Trilogy as the best thrillers I have read. If only he hadn't died!!!! BTW he was a WS - but I block out that info when I think of his books!
Focussing on the positive - Up to number 2
I had a really bad night sleeping last night. Every time I woke H woke even though I was quiet and rubbed my back and I went off to sleep again.
Love to all the tribe today. It is 3.30 pm and I am OK so far.
[This message edited by Laura28 at 10:35 PM, February 16th (Wednesday)]
I just watched the first Lisbeth Salander movie one week ago and I LOVE that girl! FWH watched it with me and he was a bit uncomfortable with how bad the "bad" guy was! Or maybe he just didn't like how Lisbeth was taking justice into her own hands. Either way....I enjoyed the first two movies. Still have the next one to watch.
You're up late? Are you OK??
Yes I read the books first and loved them and have seen both movies. If you are a reader, I would highly recommend you at least read the 3rd. The books are brilliant. I actually found the characters in the movie were just as I imagined them in the books.
I love Lisbeth! She is my hero!!!
Lisbeth inspires me because she took charge of her life after all the trauma she suffered and triumphed.
I want to come out of this stronger and healthier tahn ever.
Thanks for the warm welcome into the LTA Tribe. Already helping!
I am having trouble figuring out what see positive things she brings to the relationship.
Glad you're in! You do need a better costume, though.
Had a bit of a bad night; Boyo1's teacher sent home a snarky note that didn't need to be snarky... after being all lollipops and marshmallows when we had our face-to-face with her. It made me feel like a bad mom and on top of everything else it was just too much. Cried a bit and then lashed gently out... when do I get to take a 2-year vacation in marshmallow lollipop babytalk world and have people tell me I am perfection in pants instead of getting "you suck" messages sent home in my kid's backpack and "you suck" e-mails sent from stressed (and bitchy to everyone) co-workers and "that's not true" as a response when I say that I don't feel attractive to WH. I mean, COME ON!
So rereading all the silliness from yesterday was perfect!
honest, I'm glad the Strong wasn't meant for me.
Also, that photo really jacked the last page up. I'm glad we moved to the next page!
But - Laura LOVE the pics (except the mowhawk).
Also, I found a pic I liked for my vengeance character, but I couldn't post the pic, cuz I'm tech stupid, but she was tight! and had a big, big gun. Muah ha ha ha. O - and I think she was called Black Widow and she killed evildoers and sent their souls to Satan. Hmmmmm.
Ok. nuf silly stuff.
More than a little shocked to read some of you sweet women and mothers of children saying you like the Dragon Tattoo books and movies.
Ok -- I haven't read these or seen them, but I have to say: I'm not even sure it's responsible to try to raise kids in today's world without being an uber-bitch on some level. JMHO. I liked Time's article about the Tiger Moms.