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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 7
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, September 11th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Call me a cynic,but....you get inheritance...she gets nice...uhhhhh not buying it.
Talk to a lawyer asap before YOURS becomes HERS.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
3yrwait
♂ Member
Member # 29907
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, September 11th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am really sorry about your father Countryboy.
I hope you get the property issues settled in your favor. I'm no lawyer either so I am no help.


Me: BH (early 40s)
Her: WW (early 40s)
Married 15 years
1 daughter, under 10
DDay July 2007

Posts: 450 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: 3yrwait
WarInside
♂ Member
Member # 31736
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, September 12th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Countryboy, my condolences. I haven't told my father about the PAs, but he does know my WW and I have had a lot of trouble and has been a huge source of support. We all need them.


31-year-old X-BH
29-year-old X-WW

D-Day in October 2010.

Separated In August 2011.

Divorced in March 2012.

Happy again.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Apr 2011
Disappointed740
♂ Member
Member # 33017
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, September 13th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great thread- I have spent most of my time at JFO, but the discussions here are really right up my alley- the fog and remorseless spouse discussions hit close to home.

I think my ww has been used to being the top dog in our relationship, and thinks that she can just wait me out and eventually I will cave. I don't think the A is still ongoing, but I know that she continues to have communications with male "friends". So far, 6 weeks in, I think I have been reasonably ok on the 180, but taking it to another level soon with a move out and NC.


Any suggestions insight or otherwise is appreciated.



Me (BH)- 42
Her (WW)- 40
Married 10 years
D-Day 7/31/11
3 kids 2, 5 & 8

Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2011
FatherofFour
♂ Member
Member # 24263
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, September 13th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Careful740 that friends crap is almost always crap. OM was just a friend until he was an EA. Then just an EA till he was a PA. Then just friends again. Except when they were messing around.

Posts: 2767 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: MN
3yrwait
♂ Member
Member # 29907
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, September 13th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there 740.
A lot of us were doormats, I think I qualify as King of the Doormats. If you allow yourself to get stepped on, you will get stepped on. You are doing the right thing by kicking her out; it will give you space to work on yourself.


On another note, I noticed A LOT of betrayed husbands on JFO and General today. Do all the WW come out at the end of summer?


Me: BH (early 40s)
Her: WW (early 40s)
Married 15 years
1 daughter, under 10
DDay July 2007

Posts: 450 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: 3yrwait
Disappointed740
♂ Member
Member # 33017
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3yr- actually, its me moving out. I told her to GTFO, but WW lacks the shame/decency to leave, and I cannot get physical, so I'm out. Oh well, she has her work cut out for her. A lot of projects for the fall which I won't be participating in.

This does raise a question- how do you kick a woman out without physicality?


Me (BH)- 42
Her (WW)- 40
Married 10 years
D-Day 7/31/11
3 kids 2, 5 & 8

Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2011
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how do you kick a woman out without physicality?

lawyer


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Mighty
♂ Member
Member # 26909
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to your lawyer countryboy. The 10k is the limit for tax free gifting by the IRS (bet that's how it went on the books legally). At least in my no-fault state, a gift is not a marital asset. it is a specific exclusion. This is how I would keep my company should I divorce.


BS (me) 44 WS (her)43
Married 17yrs, Together 20 yrs
Three children (9-13)
D-Day #1 - 4/11/09 (me).. DD's stopped, she quit talking. Body count: 6 OM, 1 OW. (2 EA's, 1 LTPA, 1 PA, 3 "kisses").

Posts: 629 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Denver
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, September 16th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow -

Long time since I've read / responded to postings. JJCT, WAL, MIGHTY, 64Fleet, Razor, you all are inspiring. I wish I could help the newbies as much....

My sitch hasnt changed drastically at all, other than she wants to BS counselors to appease me without doing what I asked from the beginning. After reading numerous articles and psycho analysis stuff even she is convinced she is HPD, but will NOT see a counselor specifically trained in personality disorders unless I schedule the appointment.

Then, supposedly, wink wink, the OM contacted her through linkedin in July and the request was accepted without her knowledge. GOOD F'ing grief....I must be a fool.

Its been over a year since D day and no freaking progress in the M other than she goes out of her way to try and please me....she's still a shitty Mom, and overall rated F wife aside from the fact that I no longer do jack shit around the house like the house slave anymore. I havent since we moved to Colorado in January. Even sick she tries to have sex with me, which is disturbing in the least.

She just recently, openly,for the first time, admitted to having an issue period. Until two weeks ago it was all me. Was it said as a manipulation tactic or is she finally hearing the popping sound of her head coming out of her ass? Dont know.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
countryboy
♂ New Member
Member # 30542
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, September 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurtingandlost, I know where your coming from on it always being your problem and not WW.

I had the opportunity to talk with WW the other afternoon for a few hours. WW was drinking pretty heavy and this brought out some pretty scary stuff.

So we start talking about her friend she has been hanging with here lately. WW has this friend she has know since high school. If this woman had as many peckers sticking out of her that had been stuck in her she would look like a porcupine. This woman has been to prison and lives with her none working BF. Well WW starts telling me how her friends BF keeps asking WW to have sex with him and her friend. Then she tells me he has been texting her asking for this.

After she tells me this I start feeding WW one beer behind the other to get her wasted and it worked. She told me how big her friends BFís pecker was. I asked how she could know this if she had not done anything with him and she said her friend had told her. Then she tells me that her friend gives really good BJís way better than WW and that I should let her give me one just to see how good she was at the task. I ask how she knew she was that good and she said she had watched her do it on a few guys before we were married.

So I keep handing her one beer behind the other and the truth keeps following. So we keep talking and I tell her I think her other friend (om#2 Ďs sister) has a crush on WW. This woman is married but I had heard she would munch the carpet when she had an opportunity. Well she said she knew she did and said the last time they were shopping together they had went to a sex shop and both had bought toys and talked about using them on each other.

Then WW tells me she does not want a D after the kids are gone because she loves me but she will need a HALL PASS (from the movie) about every month to prove to herself she is still wanted by other men. She said I could have a HALL PASS to if I wanted. WW said it would be a donít ask donít tell kind of thing.

This is why there is no recovery for us. To hear this come from the mother of my children made the hair stand up on my neck. There is so much wrong here where do you start.


BS- me
WS- her
M- 18 years
DD1- 7/04
DD2- 3/10
DD3- 2/11

Posts: 38 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Texas
etaoin
♂ Member
Member # 33270
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, September 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H&L. I remember your story. You are the only guy on the board whose wife told him she was glad she had the A.

Sorry to see nothing has changed amd given that, I'm sorry to see that you are still there.


Posts: 229 | Registered: Sep 2011
gman123
♂ New Member
Member # 31979
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, September 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Countryboy

You've got to get this toxic slut out of your life ASAP!


Posts: 37 | Registered: Apr 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, September 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FUCK TECATE!

My WW can remember the exact time I was late getting home 19 years ago but cannot remember if she and OM #1 used condoms.

Hnl. Your kind words. Balm.

Countryboy, you mentioned freight train. I know that they move slowly, however inexorably, just ditto gman.

I've a thought that if I ever get M again, I'll keep the state out of it...just get M in a church, proclaiming my exclusiveness to the community (& God). The state's involvement with my past 2 M's has caused nothing but pain. They are of no use to me, and have no bidness in any spiritual contract - what has the state done for me?

Through its loiyas and judges, who enact NO FAULT throughout the land to reduce their work load (lazy fukkers who cloak their laziness with self-righteous bullshit) - and pay no mind to the suffering of infidelity...
What concord does Christ have with belial?

As it was in the days of Noe, they'll be M'ing, and giving in M...fools follow their dicks...they're SLAVES to their burgeoning pant's DEMAND, without ONE THOUGHT, ONE LOOK at tomorrow.

Cheaters, demanders, manipulators, slaves ruled by dicks and pussies...they can all kma. I'm not them.

FUCK TECATE!


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, September 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was wondering if anyone has dealt with this and maybe overcame. A ended 14 years ago. While I thought and accused back then I found out (by her admission at my insistance) only three months ago. Problem is she has a medical issue that impacts memory and it was so long ago. I have gotten enough details to be comfortable with what happened but not why. She (I believe honestly) does not know what she felt for OP. Lot's of the issues that put a person on the path, but the why him and what did she feel for him are not there yet. She is trying and making painfully slow progress. Anybody?


Your beliefs donít make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
WarInside
♂ Member
Member # 31736
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, September 20th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm afraid we're on the opposite ends of the spectrum, foundout, but I wish you well. Her being legitimately remorseful probably bodes well for you. A lot of us aren't so lucky.


31-year-old X-BH
29-year-old X-WW

D-Day in October 2010.

Separated In August 2011.

Divorced in March 2012.

Happy again.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Apr 2011
Lotsa
♂ Member
Member # 28078
Default  Posted: 4:26 AM, September 21st (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WW tells me she does not want a D after the kids are gone because she loves me but she will need a HALL PASS (from the movie) about every month to prove to herself she is still wanted by other men. She said I could have a HALL PASS to if I wanted. WW said it would be a donít ask donít tell kind of thing.

countryboy - I'd give your WW a permanent hall pass, or otherwise referred to as a D. The absence of any insight to why she needs to "prove herself" to other men, her preparedness to address those issues and the gall to ask for such a thing from you suggests you're forever going to be pushing shit up hill.

why him

foundoutlater - the answer to this question might be as simple as because he was there. At least in my xWS's experience, it wouldn't have mattered if OM was her boss, the pool cleaner or the post man... Her lack of boundaries and issues were such that she was on the slippery slope regardless of who the OM was.


Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2010
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, September 21st (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lotsa's wise teasing out of the question is spot on, fol)))

Soon you'll progress to; "Why her?"

(because something's broken inside) is the best answer I've found. (not) Sorry for not posting a spoiler-alert.


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Mypoorboys
♂ Member
Member # 33169
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, September 23rd (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello Everyone,
Was referred by someone in Divorce/Separation to come to this group. Started out in, 'Just found out', and just migrating to new ground.
If anyone has a chance, please read my profile blog to see where I'm at.
Actually, 9 months, still in the house with the whore, 2 wonderful boys, (3 and 7), trying to get back to mediation before the ESP on Dec. 6, then the trial date jan. 31, 2011.
It's absolute hell still in here presence, (the fog protects her, for those who know what I'm referring to), and the weekends are just misery. I concentrate on the boys as much as possible, but she is still there. Just want her to leave, told her 3 times to just go live with the boyfriend, refuses.
She wants everything, new house, kids, you all know the story, but mine reads like a novel. So, try to find sometime to read my profile blog and please either private message me or reply here.
Thanks much,
Mypoorboys

Posts: 176 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New Brunswick, New Jersey
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, September 23rd (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey MPB,Good to c you here.
I dont know how you feel about it,but, I still say dont leave the house. Its half yours too! How the H is she gonna keep up the land anyway?


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
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