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User Topic: OC Thread (BS Only)
Hurtful1973
♀ New Member
Member # 30401
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning and a Big Thanks to all for the support and well wishes. This morning I decided I have to move forward in due time I'll heal it's ok to cry the tears do stop I discovered. When I look back over my life that what I thought should have taken me out didn't or lost should have lost my mind didn't. I've been through this before and survived. I will again. We all will!!!


M-7yrs (T-15yrs)
BW-37
CH-38
No children
D-Day 1st A-05 then off/on yrs OC 6 mo ago
D-Day-2A 07 & OC-08

"Pain if inevitable but Misery is a choice"


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2010
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dreamer,

Still in shock. Think twins being w/you is a blessing. You are so great to take this on. When will you be trying to adopt them?

(((Hurtful)))
I'm so sorry for you. My fWH had multiple As w/OW. Tried to get her preggers during A#1 & A#2 (success). I just think if OC had been conceived during A#1, my DS11 wouldn't probably be here. Hmmm. I still loved fWH through everything. I know how you feel about that. Honestly, I was deceived about OC's conception & felt somewhat sad for fWH being tricked into pregnancy during ONS (little did I know it was planned on both parts).

If your fWH wants to be w/OW, kiss him goodbye, cry over him, and let him go. If I'd have known fWH's true feelings for OW (not just being a fling during A#1), and that they were trying to start a family, I'm not sure what choices I'd have made. I love DS14 dearly, but having COM did put a monkeywrench in the whole D thing. I did talk to lawyer after D-day#2 and I did pay retainer on D-day#3. After being burnt 3 times, I did not see any reason to R#3, if he wanted OW. It took a lot of effort on his part (and some prayer & GOD's hand) to even make me consider staying. COM are older now, much easier to handle alone (if needed), and I finally put myself first over COM's having a 2-parent home. We are still R. I have spells now of what I'd call temper-tantrums. Things will never be the same for our M, after OW & OC came along.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Evil  Posted: 9:35 AM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weekend news:

1) last night, OC pulled another tooth. She called OW to tell her, then proceeded to wander through the house & every room saying "Daddy's in the bedroom, Repeatbs326's on the computer in the bedroom doing work, DS11 is in living room playing games, DS14 is in living room playing games." Almost like OW asked for an inventory of WHERE everyone in our home was. Disgusting. Won't she just let well-enough alone?

2) OC was asking a lot of questions while we dropped some papers off @my office after church. Wanted to know how long we've been married, when we met, how long were we married before DS14 was born. Here's what I told her:

fWH & I got married in 1993, almost 3 years b4 DS14 was born. We were dating in 1989.

OC asked me how old we were when we got married & I told her 21 & 23.

Somehow it came about that I told her I was 38. OC was surprised. She said she thought OW was older than me. I told her nope, that I was 5 years older than OW & fWH was 7 years older. And, just for kicks, I threw in:

When fWH & I started dating, OW was only 12 (and he worked across the street from where OW was living)...and she was only 16 when fWH and I married.

It made me smile to think OC thought I was younger than OW. Wonder if it's because of my appearance, or my behavior?

One of the kids (DS11 or OC9) thought OW had dated fWH before I'd married him & that's how OC came to be...math doesn't add up, does it? Won't be long before OC & DS11 figure it all out completely. Wonder what they'll think?


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, fWH & I were talking the other day. I don't recall how it came up in conversation. But, I told him that I loved him very much, but if I knew he did not want to be with me and wanted to be with someone else, that I'd let him go. That I did not see any reason for my feelings alone to keep us M. That I would miss him very much & cry over him a lot, but there was no reason for him to be unhappy with me for the rest of his life. We weren't argueing, but I think what I'd said surprised him. If someone doesn't want to be w/you, why make them? If someone doesn't want me around...let them live without me and see how they like it.

All that said, we've been having a good holiday so far. I have a whole week off after Christmas. DS11/OC9 had 1 snow week, then 2 more weeks off for Winter Break. DS14 is behind on homeschooling, I suspect I'll have to help him get caught up during my week off, so I can report his grades around mid-January. Maybe fWH & I can snuggle up some days though. I am tempted to put DS14 on night shift. fWH cannot sleep nights, so might as well make DS14 do his work then & the heat off the PC in our room is bad during the day, but might be welcome during chilly nights. fWH sometimes does laundry & other chores @night.

Wish me luck to make it through all the pickups/dropoffs during the holiday season. Gotta see OW

tonight: dropoff
Friday: pickup
Saturday: dropoff
Monday: pickup
following Monday: dropoff

School starts back on Tues Jan4th. yay! Back to normal, but OC's b-day is the following week. fWH has her the whole b-day week, unless OW begs otherwise. Last year, MIL did OC's b-day dinner afterschool without me (since I was @work when they got off bus) & then OW got OC @6PM. Made things easier, since I didn't have to pretend to be genuinely happy about the day around OC (only saw her briefly). Guess we'll do dinner out (OC's choice), maybe?

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 9:51 AM, December 20th (Monday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

forgot to mention. While flipping through OC's phone (which she left out in living room), found photo of OW & a baby. I recognized the name from when OC said OW was throwing the young woman a baby shower. I supposed OW (at 33) is kinda a grandma?

OW's BH#2 was married before & had a stepson (probably 8-10 when they D). After they got D, BH#2 started dating OW (while OW was preggers w/OC). I suppose about 1x/month or less, he continued to see xW's son (I'd consider it his fSS)...continuing to see him less & less, the longer he'd been D from xW & the older fSS got (I saw the kid 1 or 2 times during pickup/dropoffs when it had been me & BH#2 doing the running all the time). I suppose now, BH#2 is the stepdad & doting grandpa to his xSS's child he had w/young GF. And, even though xSS isn't related to BH#2 and still has a REAL father somewhere out there, I suppose OW is now the step-step grandma, offering advice to both her BH#2's xSS from xW and the GF about new baby. OH Goodness....I can see BH#2 being a decent parent (as he took care of OC, when she wasn't taking care of herself or a grandparent didn't have her...GOD knows OW wasn't providing any care for her).

It's just funny thinking about OW being a grandma, when her eldest child (OC) is only 9 and OW is only 33!

Oh, and OW & pot-smokin' granny are teaching OC to crochet, knit, & eventualy quilt. And OW hosted a little get-together & OC mentioned sifting the flour for OW to bake with! OMG...I just cannot see that woman being domestic @all. Considering how she's behaved in the past...is this good or bad? She's becoming fWH's dream-wife.... Is it an act, or is she really wanting to step-up & be a mom...or, maybe BH#2 told her he wouldn't give her a kid, until she started cooking & childrearing like a mom.

Oh, BH#2 insists that OC call his xSS "brother" when they never lived as siblings & have no blood relation & xSS is from BH's xW's previous M. fWH keeps telling OC that this young man (who OC barely remembers his name & hadn't seen in ages)...isn't her brother & she isn't an aunt. I can see if BH#2 had more-regular visitation after he D from xW, but I just think this young man is looking for a handout or free babysitting.

What do you guys think? I can see BH#2 saying "he's my xW's son or he's my former stepson" if it was a young child, but he was mostly NC w/child for years & years (probably because of OW)....should you condition COM from current 2nd M & stepchildren from new wife to think it's a sibling?

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 12:16 PM, December 20th (Monday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, BH#2 insists that OC call his xSS "brother" when they never lived as siblings & have no blood relation & xSS is from BH's xW's previous M. fWH keeps telling OC that this young man (who OC barely remembers his name & hadn't seen in ages)...isn't her brother & she isn't an aunt. I can see if BH#2 had more-regular visitation after he D from xW, but I just think this young man is looking for a handout or free babysitting.

What do you guys think? I can see BH#2 saying "he's my xW's son or he's my former stepson" if it was a young child, but he was mostly NC w/child for years & years (probably because of OW)....should you condition COM from current 2nd M & stepchildren from new wife to think it's a sibling?

WOW that sounds confusing! And if it sounds confusing to me as an adult, I can only imagine how confusing that could be to a child. I have a stepsister (daughter from my stepfather) that to this day I consider my stepsister, but not my sister. Although I do talk to her more than my "real" sister.

MC is going well. I had to ask fwh today WHY were all the As with someone..."less" than me. I mean, he hooked up with total gutter rats! With the exception of 1 who was only 19 and was totally duped (he did lie and tell her he was single). That was back in 2006, and I don't hate her. But this OW is just trashy. The previous OWs in the past (from 2005 and 2006) were bottom of the barrel too. Potsmokin', unemployed, uneducated, alcoholics...1 had 2 kids and she didn't know the daddy to 1 of them. And my fwh had the nerve to get mad when she cheated on HIM!!! That one was in 2005.

His response? He was in such a "bad place" and just found them to be easy, disposable. OF course I'm the one that the family can be proud of, while they were the types that he couldn't be shown in public with. I told him that while you would think it would make me feel good, it actually makes me feel WORSE. LIke, THAT is what you want?! Here it is I am trying to better myself, I am educated and plan on continuing my education until I become a PhD, and he hooks up with chicks who barely finished high school, or are "happy" to just live off of welfare, or who refuse to work and live off of CS, etc.

This time I KNOW he's genuinely remorseful. But WHY did it take THIS shit to happen in order for him to realize the errs of his ways?!

Oh and we STILL haven't heard anything yet from the judge in regards to the judgement , which has been incredibly stressful with the holidays. I know the lawyer said usually up to a week (tomorrow being a week), but we were hoping to hear something by now.
(((Hugs to all))) I hope everyone is able to find some peace for the holidays.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to add that I didn't know how else to say "less" than me, I don't want to offend anyone. I know amazing, awesome people who went other paths in life other than college that i have great respect for. I guess I should have said chicks with zero morals, ethics, etc. I'm just really mentally exhausted today because I had my IC appt, then my MC appt, then my baby had her first shots today. Just an overwhelming day.

You ladies are really wonderful and I told my IC about this site today, and said what a blessing it is to help me with what is going on. So thank you to all of you!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
Hurtful1973
♀ New Member
Member # 30401
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This afternoon was just a very sad and difficult time for me I just want this to be over. One minuite I think I'm ok and the next I'm balling my eyes out. I had to leave work and go home and cry it out. Pray for my strength each day as I deal with this. Thanks guys!!!!


M-7yrs (T-15yrs)
BW-37
CH-38
No children
D-Day 1st A-05 then off/on yrs OC 6 mo ago
D-Day-2A 07 & OC-08

"Pain if inevitable but Misery is a choice"


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2010
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, December 20th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The holidays are much harder than I ever expected them to be.

After months of not having to take them, I am back on ADs in order to be able to function and not start sobbing for no reason at all.

This sucks so much.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Feb 2010
Finesse026
♀ Member
Member # 25868
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Whalers)))


Yes, this does suck.


Together: 8.5 years
Married: 5 years
BW: 32
WH: 34
Angel baby: Nov. 09
OC born June '10

filed for D Oct. 15, served Dec 18
D final June 21, 2011


Posts: 1795 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Wonderland
Hurtful1973
♀ New Member
Member # 30401
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers

I feel your pain in which I'm in a similar situation myself. I'm married and its hard. I had a melt down on yesterday and it's ok for you to do the same. I had a complete overhaul last night when I completely cried and gave it over to God. This morning that heaviness I had been caring was lifted. I feel 99% better. I will get to 100%. I know you will get through this. I have dealt with it before and got through it. When you look back on this you will realize it was light and momentary. Just think of all the things you have been through and see you made it through those situations. It's not easy but I know you will be ok. I will be praying for you and keep checking this site for inspiration. These guys who post are awesome!!!


M-7yrs (T-15yrs)
BW-37
CH-38
No children
D-Day 1st A-05 then off/on yrs OC 6 mo ago
D-Day-2A 07 & OC-08

"Pain if inevitable but Misery is a choice"


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2010
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Whalers))) yes, holidays are difficult. I had to seek IC in Jan01, right before OC was born, but had to go on ADs right before OC's 1st b-day (somewhere around Dec01/Jan02). I just couldn't cope on my own.

(((Hurtful))) I'm sure you know this, but it will take a long time to get over this. I'm sorry you are having to leave work. I have often closed my office door to cry. Fortunately, I had sympathetic coworkers who put up with a lot of moodiness when I was going through everything. I pray you have peace this holiday season & know that no matter what happens between you & fWH, you have people out there that love you & will support you.

And for those of you out there with AngelBabies, I'm sure this time of year is especially difficult for you. I pray that the holiday season brings joy to your heart.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finesse,

I saw you had another D-day on Dec14th....what happened? Did you post about it & I missed it?


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
Hurtful1973
♀ New Member
Member # 30401
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Repeat

It did take some time but through prayer and my faith things got better. This time it's just different. I guess all the other crap I've been through and made it. It help to have really great support. Thanks for a great family who loves me and still loves him. My mother told me not to jump the gun so soon. I meet with a DL today and we will see where it goes.


M-7yrs (T-15yrs)
BW-37
CH-38
No children
D-Day 1st A-05 then off/on yrs OC 6 mo ago
D-Day-2A 07 & OC-08

"Pain if inevitable but Misery is a choice"


Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2010
webmistress
♀ Member
Member # 29816
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm getting nervous again. H and I have had a marvelous few days, but the specter of OW/OC is still haunting us. He has been going crazy calling mutual friends of theirs in California, trying to find someone who will track her down and confirm or deny this pregnancy. The holes in her story keep getting bigger. Apparently one of their friends found her online, and she told him she was working on a car. Really?? Working on a car when you're 8 months pregnant? I'm thinking not so much. Also the due date has gone from January 22 to January 15. I know this can happen during pregnancy, but in the big scheme of things, it seems to be one more inconsistency.

What's really upsetting me is that I haven't heard from H today. It's almost 2 in the afternoon. He almost always calls me in the morning or mid-morning after he wakes up. Everytime I don't hear from him, I worry that he has bad news that he doesn't want to tell me. I'm so dreading a call saying "so and so saw OW, she really is pregnant." Even worse, I'm afraid he already knows, and just doesn't want to tell me because of the holidays.

Either way, I'm on pins and needles. And it just makes me more pissed at H for putting us all through this with his careless, reckless, stupid behavior. It really makes R extremely difficult on some days.


Me: BW-42
Ex-WH: 34
Married: 6 years
DDay #1: 10/5/10, one week before our daughters 4th birthday
D official 2/23/11
DDay#2: 10/20/12, after 8 months of false R
OW: Delusional, stupid whore; OC officially XH's
In R

Posts: 1355 | Registered: Oct 2010
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Webmistress,

I was such a nervous wreck before OC was born, I could not take it anymore. I was afraid OC's birth would ruin our holiday. So, I called her @work (which I got scolded for by fWH) and asked her the due date. She told me the due date & the child's intended first name. I texted fWH & told him your daughter ABCDEFG, is due on Jan 20th. Yes, I got a tongue-lashing for possibly endangering OW's pregnancy or causing her miscarriage by calling...but, what more could fWH say. It's a free country & OW worked at a public pizza restaurant. Unless she wanted to go to a judge & file restraining order, I could call there or show up there if I wanted. OW switched to another branch of that pizza chain shortly afterwards....but, was still regional manager over that & 2 other of the same.

Have you thought of calling OW's parents (if she claims she lives w/them) and asking what OW's due date is, since she's 8 months pregnant w/your husband's child? If you have OW's phone#, you could probably pay online to get a landline # for their home (or maybe another cell #). BW can play dirty also....what could fWH say? It's not like it could get much worse for you than it is now.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
webmistress
♀ Member
Member # 29816
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think part of me is afraid to know. If it's true, it changes everything. I'm not sure I'll be able to continue in the marriage; and I'm pretty sure H knows that. I love him so much, and I want our family. But I also know I can't and won't live with OW in the background for the rest of our lives.

*sigh*


Me: BW-42
Ex-WH: 34
Married: 6 years
DDay #1: 10/5/10, one week before our daughters 4th birthday
D official 2/23/11
DDay#2: 10/20/12, after 8 months of false R
OW: Delusional, stupid whore; OC officially XH's
In R

Posts: 1355 | Registered: Oct 2010
Finesse026
♀ Member
Member # 25868
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finesse,
I saw you had another D-day on Dec14th....what happened? Did you post about it & I missed it?

Here is my thread:

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=386077


So...since then...I have had WH served...filed the proof of service...and now I am just and alone...


Together: 8.5 years
Married: 5 years
BW: 32
WH: 34
Angel baby: Nov. 09
OC born June '10

filed for D Oct. 15, served Dec 18
D final June 21, 2011


Posts: 1795 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Wonderland
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, December 21st (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs to everyone)))

Just wanted to pop in real quick to say hello! We STILL have not heard anything and fwh is starting to get worried. Not sure what the holdup is, but I told him for peace of mind he should call his attorney tomorrow. Hoping this holiday we can just focus on our kids and enjoy our little road trip to see family and friends. Getting away from here will be nice and therapuetic.

Aloha everyone and I hope we are all able to find peace this holiday.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
webmistress
♀ Member
Member # 29816
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, December 22nd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, the verdict seems to be in. H's friends not only went to OW's house tonight (unannounced), they took their newborn baby. According to their report to H, she seemed skittish. And, oh yes.....NOT PREGNANT. She's a big girl anyway, so who really knows, but according to them, there is no way in hell she's pregnant. On top of that, with a newborn baby in the house to boot, there was no discussion of babies, her plans for her new baby, nothing. Even her mom was there, and the MOM didn't say anything. Who the hell doesn't discuss an impending birth when there's a newborn in the house??

So yeah....pretty much confirmation that it's bullshit. Very nice. I have a flurry of emotions right now. Suspicion, because it's not like they performed a blood test. She could be pregnant, and just a big girl who doesn't show much. There's also rage at the idea that this whore purposefully set out to trap and steal my husband. Rage at HIM for allowing her the opportunity. And even MORE rage at him for STILL PURSUING THIS. He said he plans to call her tomorrow and demand proof. Why?? She isn't calling him, not contacting him at all from what I can see. We have all but performed the rabbit test to prove she's been lying. Why can't he just let it go?? At this point, who the hell cares if she is or isn't? If she is, it's obvious she's not making a big push for H's involvement (unless she is the most cunning seductress on earth, which I highly doubt). And if she really isn't, then I think she realizes she's been caught in a lie, that H has left her high and dry, and that it's time close up shop. Either way, it really isn't H's problem anymore, in my opinion, and his continued pursuit of this makes me highly uncomfortable.

I will say that I doubt it has anything to do with his interst in continuing an A or anything like that. H is the kind of guy who seeks revenge if he's been wronged. Being lied to in this fashion will be the ultimate affront to him, and he will want to go out of his way to make her life miserable before he cuts her out completely. While appreciate the temptation, I just wish he'd let it go and re-channel that energy into repairing the damage to our marriage. I didn't want to discuss it with him tonight because he'd been drinking, but I sent him a text telling him to call his therapist tomorrow BEFORE calling OW. That is what his therapist told him to do if/when he found out one way or the other, so I just wanted to remind him. I pray that sobriety and a talk with his counselor will convince him to just let it go and start the process of healing. The only other time I want him to contact her is with me, to tell her that NC is officially implemented.

So now let the real work begin...


Me: BW-42
Ex-WH: 34
Married: 6 years
DDay #1: 10/5/10, one week before our daughters 4th birthday
D official 2/23/11
DDay#2: 10/20/12, after 8 months of false R
OW: Delusional, stupid whore; OC officially XH's
In R

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