Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Mysurvival (43128)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC Thread (BS Only)
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 4:10 AM, April 13th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry had wanted to add before that I wish she would just go away...take her money and GO vs try to constantly get MORE money. Its really quite pathetic. And yes, the courthouse knows my fwh....they knoe him as the guy getting screwed. Yes, they literally call him that....


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, April 13th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh! OC called fWH yesterday to tell him about her first shot clinic visit (we already did one allegy shot w/her Thursday, but not via the clinic...she had to be observed for reactions). Anyway....OW really pisses me off. She insisted on taking the phone from OC & directly speaking w/fWH about the shots! Really??? She basically said nothing. I wasn't @home yet (she knows my work hours). I would not be surprised if she put OC up to calling b4 I got off work! That woman is completely incapable of going NC. She tries every way possible to even hear his voice!

I think that since it's been 2 years since EA/PA#3, she thinks the fire's burn out about my anger & I'll just let my guard down again. No way!!! fWH is very sick right now & I just cannot deal w/OW's bullshit when fWH needs me. I think he either has pneumonia or upper respiratory, but won't go to Dr. Running >101 fever this morning & DS14 is @school, so he's not even there to help get things for fWH.

Say some prayers for us....and put in a little prayer that OW will quit her bull & get over fWH and give her own M a fighting chance. I don't know how to break through OW's fog.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, April 13th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island,

sounds like OW is looking for a career that involves very little out-of-home work & fWH (or any other sucker stupid enough to fall for "I cannot get pregnant" line) is just the poor guy having to deal w/her for next 18 yrs. Once OC starts school (if OC isn't physically/mentally disabled in any way), OW will have no excuse in working part-time or something.

Is there any chance OW was stalking fWH, researching his income etc...to find a baby-daddy w/relatively good income, so the CS would be higher...or she wasn't even smart enough to target the best choice of babydaddy? Is/was she hoping fWH would D you & she become a wifestress?

You know, my best friend's xH was having A w/OW who had many OC from multiple mOM. She claimed she was preggers again by friend's xH. If he'd have fallen for it & then actually did get her preggers (stupidly not using protection)...that'd make something like 5 OC from 5 different mOM. Now, that's certainly a serial OW & using OC for career (from what we gather, none of the mOM had visitation so she'd get the max CS when they are NC w/OC). Can u imagine how cruel someone is, to try to destroy so many M & have OC to likely just get income from them? Even though friend & fWH R, it set things in motion for eventual failure of M & it ended in D. Even just the stress of possible OC, was far to much on the M (not to mention OW was a bunnyboiler & stalking both BFF & xH for quite a while at both their businesses & home). I guess my situation could be worse...OW could have some big brass balls & show up @my house to cause issues...since she lives so close.

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 6:46 AM, April 13th (Wednesday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, April 13th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW has no excuse NOW. The OC is almost 1. She claims she can't meet his "basic survival needs", therefore being a SAHM isn't and shouldn't be an option. Kid needs to be taken care of, and so far only my fwh and the state are doing that financially. I have zero sympathy for her. If it were me (which I would have NEVER put myself in this position!!!) I would already be working 2-3 jobs of ANYTHING to ensure my child had all his needs met. She just wants someone else to do it, since she "bears the burden of being a single parent" (she said that in a court document!). She knew my fwh has a great job with a very prestigous company (he had it on his online profile), he bragged about our family vacations, his association with a professional basketball team (we know people who know people), etc. Oh she KNEW he had a little somethin somethin. fwh said judging by the company she kept at the courthouse, he must have been the "best option". she was apparently hugging all over other guys there. oh and she had the nerve to "brag" about how she is a "strong, independent woman". WTF?!? If she is strong and independent then damnit I'm a man! LOL!

The more and more we learn (because DAMN my fwh for not knowing anything about her....) the more and more we are learning that this was totally planned on her part to get a check and use/abuse the system as much as possible. Oh I'm sure she's already on the prowl looking for a new paycheck...not to mention she has no excuse for being on birth control (before she said she didn't need it since she couldn't have kids, plus couldn't afford it) because she is on state aid, although I am betting she is NOT. Stupid cOW...


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
lovetotry
♀ Member
Member # 31393
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, April 13th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need advice..please.
I found my H's phone last night with texts on it from the OW saying she is pregnant. She is 26. My H is 43. We have two children ages 3 and 4. I'm 34. He has been very horrible the last 5 months. He lost his job because he was her supervisor. He moved her in secretly across the street. He stays the night with her. Sneaks out at night.He Has "family" outings with the OW and my children. He's a scum bag. Right now he's unemployed. It's like he's obsessed with her. He tells her he loves her and that he needs her in his life. Then he turns around and tells me that he wants our marriage. I have told him before that she would get pregnant because she would do anything to keep him. The texts between them are like teenagers. She will threaten to cheat on him if he doesn't commit. She has said on several occasions that she wants to be a family with him. She tells him to leave her alone and he still pushes. A couple of weeks ago she kept texting him that she felt she may be pregnant. Then, two weeks later she decides to take a test. She tells him that she is telling her parents and that her dad would be contacting him. The day she told him he told her that he would come over and see her that night. Well, he didin't. Her response was, I drove n=by your house to see what was goign on. This is the second time that I read that she came by the house to see if he left. Same thing the next night. She texted that he didn't come see her and that she was kinda mad. I need some advice on how i should conduct myself. Right now, I just want to confront him. I think I need to get more info. though. She is probably lying, but there is no way to tell. If my husband is smart, which he's clearly not, he would go over with a test himself to get her to take it. If she refuses....well then...

Posts: 102 | Registered: Mar 2011
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Frustrated  Posted: 6:21 AM, April 14th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lovetotry)))

I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I had points during A#1 & A#3 that I thought fWH was w/OW, but couldn't quite man-up & do something about it. I think the standard 180 would get you started. Maybe you could tell him you know about his sneaking out to meet OW, that he will need to decide what he wants, and that OW isn't allowed around COM (that's the worst part in my opinion). Of course protect yourself....HB is one thing, but being intimate w/someone you know is actively still foggy & having PA could jeopardize your health (unless you choose that and take extra precautions for your safety).

Sounds like OW is a stalker & it's unfortunate that she knows where you live.

I suppose you will have to wait to see if there really is an OC involved & whether fWH leaves you for OW/OC, or stays w/you&COM. If you don't want to wait it out, you always have the option of S & D. He likely won't come out very good, being unemployed & unable to maintain a home for COM. Did you say he was alcoholic? If that's the case & it's documented, you have a better chance of full custody & supervised visitation for COM in the event of D. fWH could be required to pass random drug/alcohol screenings in order to have COM around him.

As for the texting & ILUs....he's absolutely foggy & in active EA/PA w/OW. fWH/OW in our case had EA/PA#3 and were texting/sexting, frequent calls, texting nudes back/forth, OW told me fWH loved her. I'm absolutely sure he said it, but he broke up w/her just the same & went NC & begged me to stay that he'd do whatever it took. In your case, you or he has to do something to break the fog & end the A. You cannot R (only false R) or deal w/OC as a united front, if he's still cheating & thinks she's the cat's meow. He's fence sitting/cake-eating, whatever you want to call it.

We had another OW/fWH on here (w/OC), who was still actively sneaking around & even fWH's family was embracing OW while BW was kinda left hanging. I don't see how you can make any progress @R, if fWH isn't in it at all.

We are here for you...even if you D, you will still have OC issues & COM will have half-sibling (if it's true). We can support you through that also, if it comes to pass.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, April 14th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found a quote for those of you raising OC:

It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. J. K. Rowling

Maybe helping OC grow "to be" something wonderful & special, is our job as BS.

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 9:14 AM, April 14th (Thursday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, April 14th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like that one, repeatBS326!


"The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth." - Leo Tolstoy

Posts: 4448 | Registered: Dec 2010
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, April 14th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lovetotry))) I know the only way I would even have considered R is if my fwh wanted nothing else to do with the OW. Luckily he hated her guts and there was nothing more to the "relationship" other than sex. so I didn't have to worry about what some of yall are going thru where the (f)wh has/had strong feelings for the OW. I cant begin to imagine the hurt and pain.

Your wh sounds like a cake eater--and I say this because my fwh was one as well during previous A's. I agree with 180...I wish I had known about it before, couldve saved myself some headache. Sounds like your wh needs to make some decisions, or you will make them for him. Its not easy, but dont let him play on both sides of the fence. We got your back (((lovetotry)))


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, April 18th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On my way to MC and then to my 2nd job for a few hours. I hope everyone had a good weekend!


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, April 18th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Made my first appointment for IC today. It was hard to take that leap. My appointment is on 5/13. I am a bit apprehensive, but at the same time, I am looking forward to it.


"The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth." - Leo Tolstoy

Posts: 4448 | Registered: Dec 2010
hurtbeyond words
♀ New Member
Member # 31772
Sad  Posted: 3:45 PM, April 19th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my first post on this thread and oh how I wish I did not have to. My husband is awaiting DNA results and is so unsure of everything. He seems to think at times he would still like to be with her and then he also states it is just for the baby who is now 7 months. I would just like to go to court and get visitation but he seems to think that is only between him and her and how could I even want to see the child. I am sure I could handle anything if he would just love me and only me and tell her to take a hike. He has only seen or talked to her 4 times in the last 6 months and swears it has to do with the kid. Should I let him go so he could see the real her and keep praying or stay and fight. At times I just feel kind of crazy. ANy advice would help. I am 1 year out and still have stupid questions that come up and still do not know if I will ever trust him again

[This message edited by hurtbeyond words at 7:02 PM, April 19th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 15 | Registered: Apr 2011
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, April 19th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hurtbeyond words))

My situation is a bit different than yours, so I don't know if I can offer advice, but I can offer support.

There are some amazingly strong women on this thread that can offer you legal advice and emotional support. Sorry you had to find yourself here, but you came to the right place.

LosferWords

[This message edited by LosferWords at 6:33 PM, April 19th (Tuesday)]


"The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth." - Leo Tolstoy

Posts: 4448 | Registered: Dec 2010
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, April 19th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hurt)) first of all welcome to our group. I am so sorry that you have to be here, but you will get support and encouragement for dealing with this situation. I read in your other post that you have 3 kids, if you have not already you need to visit a lawyer ASAP and find out your rights to protect your children before this DNA comes back. If she files before you, your children will come after her OC if it turns out to be his. When will the results be back and are they part of a CS request already?

If you go back to page 3 of this thread I reposted the OC handbook it has some very good suggestions on how to handle this situation. In all honesty this can not work unless you both are a united front against OW. He seems to want to protect her still. My H moved out when I first found out about the A and lived with OW for 3 weeks. He said he wanted to die, it was the worst 3 weeks of his life. He really got to see her for what she was, but it still took him almost 2 years to totally stop protecting her. I told him " either you are my husband or her friend, you don't get both".

All of us are living this situation with different levels of contact, varying between no contact, joint custody, visitation, or for me full custody. You have to do what is right for you, what can you live with, what can your children live with? None of these methods is wrong, your family has to come first. Time to be proactive rather than reactive. If he can not include you in anything that has to do with OC, it is time to really think about what you want.

1 year out really is not a long time, they say it takes 4-5 years to recover from infidelity, and to try to repair your marriage you have to have a remorseful spouse. Please feel free to lean on us if you need extra support and any questions you may have. You can also PM me. You are strong and you will get thru this.

((Loserfer)) good luck with the IC, it can be a bit scary at first but I think you will find that you have a lot of emotions that have not been brought the surface yet. And once you get those out and really talk about them and deal with them, you will find that life does get easier.

[This message edited by BMC0415 at 9:11 PM, April 19th (Tuesday)]


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, April 20th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Augh, so just when you think you can get ahead...found out the CS office put a levy on my fwh's stock account (he had just cashed out what he had left, whew!) And when he talked to them today they said they can put a 21 day levy on his bank acct too! Now mind you he is paying the arrears and the CS on (via wage garnishment), and the CS office said it DOES NOT MATTER, they reserve the right to still levy any and all of his accounts as they deem fit. That if he has the ability to pay, then they will do anything to collect (except jailtime). He is $6000 in arrears, and that's just from waiting for the court system to get paternity rolling. So we are panicking. Stupid cOW hasn't cashed the bonus check yet, so he's going to put a stop payment on it (just in case of the levy...then he would have to pay it twice...) and then get a bank check to send her. She can hold onto that forever if she wants to. But my fwh argued with the CS office and asked wtf is he supposed to do about COM, because apparently they will wipe out his account, how is he supposed to pay the mortage, etc. Caseworker told him pretty much oh well, as long as he is able to pay then they will go after it (even though he has NEVER been late), that he can apply for an appeal AFTER they take the money, that I work (wtf?!), that the child is entitled to his money. Wtf?! What about my COM?! They basically told him in not so many words tough shit for us! He did email his lawyer, so going from there.

And I did break down and tell my mom tonite. She actually took it quite well. I told her that I made the decision to R, that its my decision and that I own it, and that this entire mess has made me STRONGER than I have ever been. She was pretty pissed (esp at first about NC with the OC, until I explained how vindictive OW has been, then she understood and agreed with me that COM have to be protected), but understood my reasoning for R and actually was quite supportive. Plus I know she has cut back on her drinking (significantly cut back!) And I think that has helped. Now I have to tell fwh I told her. He didn't want her to know. But I was really feeling guilty that she didn't know. And now I feel a huge weight has been lifted. And she heard it from ME.


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, April 20th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((IslandWahine)))) what a freaking nightmare to deal with!!!!!!!

TO ALL OF YOU:

I have read so many of your stories and my heart goes out to each of you. I pray for you all every night. You are the epitome of strength and grace under fire.

Sending each of you a huge, huge hug tonight! Bless you!!!!!


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9614 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, April 21st (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Island,

OMG! You must be in the worst state & county about CS issues. I understand wanting back CS for OC, but they could @least take it out in increments. Is there some reason medically maybe that OW might need the $$$ to care for OC's needs that hasn't been mentioned? Is fWH's lawyer entitled to review all evidence etc. that might've swayed the CS office this way?

I'm glad you were able to tell your mom about this. I was on a gag order from fWH about A#1, so I felt so alone about it. Once D-day#2 & OC's impending birth were disclosed, I called my mom w/in a few days & she came over while fWH was @work. I'd actually even called OW & she then called fWH @work and got him all upset and throwing things all over the place @work off a desk (they kinda made him leave work for the night). It was awkward when fWH came home & my mom was there comforting me.

I just don't know why these things happen to people. Okay, even if someone feels the need to cheat...can't they @least use protection or WHY in the HELL would you choose to conceive OC (like fWH did in our case)?

+++++++++

Anyway...we have OC this week. She's had good & bad days. Fortuantely, our schools have done standardized testing 2 days this week & a game/reading day yesterday. Today is Green Day @school so OC is doing nature trail stuff. It's so much easier when there's no homework involved. fWH & OC have been fighting a lot. I thought DS11 was stubborn, but OC10 outdoes him by a longshot in that department. She just stares @us when we tell her to do things she doesn't want to do or doesn't answer us when she doesn't want to say the answer. She's been so difficult to make get out-of-bed, that fWH has had to take over the wake-up duties most the week for all children. She won't take shower when we say shower time. She won't brush teeth/hair when it's her turn to get ready in mornings. She just stares @us blankly & won't budge.

Honestly, I'm so glad the judge in our case didn't request a review of all CS payments made b4 legal custody/CS agreements were in-place when OC was 7. I think some years, we might've owed OW (when fWH worked a lot of overtime) and some years, she's have owed us. After the first year or so, we quit keeping a log of the time OC spent w/us (big mistake on my part - too busy w/3 kids & fWH working graveyard to worry about those things). I do know that we could get bank proof or copies of every CS payment we made $400/month even if it wasn't through court system & I know many people who'd testify that we had OC 3-4 nights (days) per week until she started school.

I don't know if CS will come out better/worse if it were recalculated now. fWH wanted to change it to alternating weeks (like we are really doing since last fall), but OC's behavior might keep him from doing it. We do need to recalc. though, or fWH might owe CS or something.

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 7:41 AM, April 21st (Thursday)]


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, April 21st (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, Island this is just crazy. If I didn't know any better I would swear she knows someone in that office. With that being said see what the lawyer has to say. If your H has direct deposit of his paycheck, see if his company can stop it immediately. I would personally get everything out of his name that you can to protect your assets. Keep documenting everything. Keep up with your plan concerning the health insurance, and DO NOT CONTACT HER AS MUCH AS I KNOW YOU WANT TO. I know it is so difficult to not want to pound her, but you know you can call me or your friend if you get the urge.

I am glad that you finally told you mom. And you are right that is one level of stress that is off of you. I realize that your H could get upset that you told her, but this whole situation is a nightmare and you need as much support as you can get.

I sincerely hope that things can go in a positive direction for your family soon. Hugs to you.


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
IslandWahine
♀ Member
Member # 29536
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, April 21st (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is no longer on any of my accounts, so those are safe. I bet she is calling the CS office daily to push the enforcements as much as possible, although they do also say on the website even if you have a payment plan set up they can still do any enforcement that they wish! We didn't get a tax return this year (we owed from 09 so what we did get this year went to pay off that) so there was no intercept of that.

I'm just so sick of this money crap...


Me: BS, 2 COM, M-14 years
FWH-finally hit rock bottom
11/09 D-day. R'ing
cOW: EVIL
OC: NC for our safety.
People say you donít know what youíve got until itís gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought youíd never lose it.-B.Scott

Posts: 960 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Somewhere out there....
repeatBS326
♀ Member
Member # 22068
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, April 21st (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Island)))

I'm so sorry about your financial situation. We had a lot of $$ issues when fWH was hurt, because we were still getting OC every weekend & paying $400/month (per fWH's decision). OW offered to not let him pay, but we only skipped 1 months & 1/2 another month while he was hospitalized (I was only working about 20 hours then also b/c I was @hospital w/him a lot).

Is there anything of fWH's he can sale? Like trade in nice vehicle for VERY used one w/out payments? Any toys he can hock @pawn shop to pay off this debt any quicker? fWH sold his 4-wheeler to pay the lawyer in 2008 to do the custody/CS paperwork. It would've been cheaper, but OW backed out of AGREE custody paperwork & it cost more $$$ to have her served...then stupid OW didn't wanna go to court, so she went to lawyer & signed/notarized them. Why couldn't she have done that sooner? It was for spite...I assure you.

The OW in your case needs to stop this petty stuff. When she's running all over heck & back, visiting courthouse...who's keeping OC? Even in D cases, I don't think I've ever heard of CS issues being so bad! Do you think she sneakily has a court-appointed attorney & he gets paid a % of the CS arrears or bonuses? GOD, I never thought a state could clean out all your accounts for CS purposes when you are making payments!

I know in our state, you now have to put your SSN on your hunting license requests. If you owe CS arrears, they seize the fee & you don't get a hunting license @all. That one likely kills a lot of deadbeat dads here, who refuse to pay CS (not that they don't have the $$$, just refusal to pay). In some states, all CS goes through the system first, in ours...unless it's a garnishment, it can go directly to the parent owed or go through the state, depending on what the custody order states.


Me/BS:39(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:41; DS:15; DS:11; OW:34; OC:10
Together: 22yrs; Married: 18yrs
D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2)
D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000
D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008

Posts: 1721 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.