Divorced..drama free...movin on!
[This message edited by eyesnowopen at 1:43 PM, January 12th (Wednesday)]
My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. I'm just so confused I love my husband and we had a long talk. A good talk about us trying to R but when I think about 2 A's which produced OC. I didn't realize I loved him so much after about 15 yrs. I want to hate him but can't. I'm so undecided on if I should go or stay in this marriage. I don't want to be without him. I know I'm scared.
"Pain if inevitable but Misery is a choice"
I didn't realize I loved him so much after about 15 yrs. I want to hate him but can't. I'm so undecided on if I should go or stay in this marriage. I don't want to be without him. I know I'm scared
You can love someone - but it still might not be healthy for you to be with that person because they are toxic.
(((Repeat))) I'm sorry you have to deal with this "betty crocker" OW. She can act I'm sure, but really it sounds put on and fake. I'm sure its just a passing phase. I had considered a roller skating party for my son, but he's only turning 4! His party is in a couple weeks and we are going bowling.
Stuck inside today, snow snow and more snow. Did I forget to say snow?
[This message edited by IslandWahine at 2:15 PM, January 12th (Wednesday)]
(((Whalers))). Good to see and hear from you.
Do what will make you happy. I'm the type that has to say I tried in order to have mental peace. But I told fwh there are no more tries, I have mental peace now knowing I gave it once last shot for the sake of my kids and for our family.
Also, its ok to reevaluate every couple weeks, months, etc. I told fwh I needed to see remarkable change in 1 year, which I did.
[This message edited by IslandWahine at 2:27 PM, January 12th (Wednesday)]
~ 21st December 2011, I called it a day ~
Please feel however you need to feel, don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.
We know your pain.
PM if you need to. I don't go back to work until next week so I can check here frequently.
We are here for you. Take some time to process this. The good news is even though it hurts like hell, you have been preparing yourself for the outcome. You have taken some important steps for you and your H to have to deal with this. Take all the time to grieve life as you knew it, then it is time for action, you and your H really need to band together, but remember it is okay to feel anyway that you feel.Don't let the shock of this, mess up any progess you have made in your relationship, this issue can be fully dealt with after you rebuild your relationship.
((Hurtful)) Take things slow on your terms. You don't have to decide anything. Yes me and my H are living apart, but we are working on rebuilding our relationship. What I found is that we spent the first 2 years dealing with the OC issue that we didn't deal with what was going on with us as a couple. Your H got DNA tests? He has positive proof? I ask because my H believed that he had 3 OC until I demanded DNA test and found out the twins were not his. He never questioned the OW at all. If you and your H have any chance, if there is any question, paternity needs to be established if it hasn't.
I guess what concerns me about your situation, is that is not wiliing to have you involved where these OC are concerned. If there are no boundaries in dealing with this, it is not fair to you. Just some things to think about. We are here for you in you need to talk.
((Island)) Always thinking of you and hoping for some kind of positive result in your situation. I hope the PI is able to come of with something you can use. You always have our support.
((Repeat)) I swear your OW makes me so mad I wanna come give her a kick swift kick I think she just loves to compete for attention it is a damn shame that she doesn't care about hurting the "love child" she planned with someone else's husband. You are truly a saint for everything you do for the OC and how you handle yourself. Seriously, I don't think I could deal with the OW and having the anxiety that she is still doing things to get back with your H, it just must be overwhelming. Hugs to you and I give you credit for dealing with this as long as your have.
Hugs to us all. This is a hard long road no matter which way you turn, it takes a lot of effort and strength, we all have that, we can make it thru this.
Hugs to all in these trying times. I know I am personally still horribly embarassed, so can't really talk or vent to anyone else, and here helps so much.
Our 14 year anniversary is this weekend, so hoping to do something nice with the kids, esp since I go back to work next week.
Thanks so much again for the love and support from everyone. Its been a trying week.
I'm happy when we hear OW lied & OC isn't really fWH's (as R becomes a little easier), but so sorry that others have to deal with everything when OC turns out to be fWH's.