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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Part 21
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi again all

While I was typing my massive missive (hey miracle do you like that?), many of you were posting.

I have been inside myself for the last few days and want to get back to you.

Honest

Iím so so so sorry. Listen to everyone here. You deserve to come first. You are a wonderful woman. ITís time for you to find your life. Please do not let this selfish man take more of your life. We will be here to support you. Break the ties. Tell him he can have his compliant and idolising (as Ukgirl said) whore. You deserve better. Your kids also deserve a full time dad. Iím sure thereís a great one out there.

Miracle

Thanks for the advice. I was fairly calm most of the time and he did share a little more. I really believe I may now be at the point where it is beginning to not matter. Thank God. He will never be able to tell the truth. Thatís the man I hate. Iím not interested in him so I donít want to see him in the man he is now.

I also think he needs to find a healthy outlet for all his energy....he is not putting it into the ow anymore and ducks i don't think is going to cut if for much longer....maybe he could go back to school....or take up gardening....at least you then could have flowers and vegies instead of eggs, feathers and poop.....

He is gardening too. And Iíve even started using the duck eggs in some cooking. You are right about the vegies. Iíll put that to him.

But what about you? Are you still taking back your life? When you come on here it is all about us. What about you?

Grace

I need to put aside my animosity towards you. So I will try.

I chose to post here since its like being in BHís mind and heart. I can never feel or understand what heís going through and I want to.

I think you are right to be here. You do seem genuine. Keep reading here, posting on WS and loving your H. Thatís all he ever really wanted. Thatís all we ever really wanted. Just love him.

BH also says that when he looks at me, he doesnít know who I am

After dday I often looked at him and said ďWho are you?Ē He scared me. All I could think of were the lies and the OWs and him. He wasnít the man I hadnít even particularly liked for a long time. He was an evil person. I didnít like the h I thought he was. .I hate the man my H actually was. I now want to love the man I believe he is. It will take time. I think I can. If I can I will be happy. Your h needs to know that you are not the woman you were. IMHO he needs permission to direct his disgust (dare I say hatred Ė cause thatís what it is for me) at the woman you were. I will hold onto that hatred for my previous H. I wonít lock it away but I wonít direct it at the man I think I have now. Unless of course my old H comes back. Then the hatred will destroy us both. Some would say I need to learn to forgive my H. I donít believe I CAN forgive the man he was. I donít need to forgive the man he is. For me it is now like 2 different people. I would rather separate them. It is easier for me at present. Maybe this will change. I donít think so. I really hope not because how I feel at present is actually quite good.

Cheers

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi again all
I have so much to catch up on after being ďoutĒ

Fun

Nobody walks on me anymore. I won't let them, including my H. In some ways my M is better. Maybe it's because I demand the respect I deserve? I put myself first now?

You know under that tough exterior there is an incredibly kind person. Yes put on your suit of armour to protect yourself. But be careful. No, you wonít be walked on but look at how kind you are. You are here sharing with us. You respond to others with so much compassion. Donít talk yourself into believing you are so tough you donít care. You care. You care about us and you want your marriage to work. Use your armour to protect yourself but donít let it block his attempts to R.

Tryn

atsenaotie...I have a friend that get's it everyday.. Yep ladies.. everyday...

You are too cheeky tryn. Some of us old girls try Ė we really do!

Heck, today.. I'll say it's been pretty good for me.

Glad you had fun honey

AGNG

Yes, on paper, I get it. It makes sense to stay. That is why I'm staying. No mention of love tho. That's a big cost - to stay in a relationship without it.

Path of least regret honey. At present you are making the best of a bad sich. IMHnewbieO for you at least a split would make you more unhappy than you are now. Iíd just give it more TIME.

Honest

That is not his fault that I did that.

IT IS ALL HIS BLOODY FAULT. NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT. HEíS A SELFISH POS.
HE WAS YOUR HUSBAND!!!! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. DAMN IT WOMAN. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. YOU WERE A LOVING FAITHFUL WIFE. YOU DIDNíT DESERVE ANY OF IT!!!!!!!

This is why I feel so devastated. You tell someone over and over ad nauseum that this would be the worst thing that could be done to me

SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH MAN. HE KNEW HOW IT WOULD HURT YOU!!! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

GRACE

Every minute of every day is not an exaggeration. I am 5 months out and can honestly say it now comes to mind at least once every half hour. Itís the last thing I think of before sleeping and the first that comes to mind when I wake up (several times a night). You need to understand that everytime he looks at you he's thinking about it!!! He can't help it.

Cheers everyone
Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
moreroses
♀ Member
Member # 26283
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought to read the posts here. My husband's A was bimonthly for 6 months and less so for another 4 months so I guess that is not a long term A.Maybe it is. But more importantly why I posted here was I've been on these type boards for over 2 years and spent a lot of time reading on betrayed spouse boards AND affair persons boards.I know an A is an A and it is completely hurtful, selfish and wrong. But I wanted to post here because I have read many many posts by female AP's involved in these long term affairs and often, if not always it seems to me these are very broken people. Often times if the A is ongoing the ap posts in a breathy excited manner. It's like the poster is not in their right mind, very shallow, casual, excited gibberish.(IMO) In trying to make head or tail of the posts they often express themselves in a bizarrly casual manner, disreguarding all others, insearch of some kind of personal quick fix. One things seems very certain to me reading these posts, that they cannot sustain the 'high' they are in.That there are dire problems within the person to treat all the poeple involved in their A like the wife and his family so carelessly.Second thing I notice is, there are a lot of posters who DO see the light sooner or later. They have great remorse and are very sorry for what they got themselves involved with and into.Many have great regrets.

I just wanted to share this because I see posts here where BS's blame themselves and think they could have 'done something' earlier in the marriage or relationship.I just want to give these people a cyber hug and say no, we are all responsible for our own actions. These are the choices we make and we have to live with the consequences of our choices. You or I coudn't have done a thing.When people are broken, they have to find their peace, their resolution, their epiphany or solution.We can't do it for them no matter how much we love them. Don't ever blame yourself. It's too noble a sacrifice.I just wanted to express that. You have my support.


BW;Me
DDay;2-14-08 when former ow decided to enlighten me about previous A
marriage rebuilt, felt rebuilt at 2 1/2 yrs out
long marriage with 4 kids

"And the stars that we could reach were just starfish on the beach"-French folksong


Posts: 1399 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Northeast
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura....all I can say is wow! I am in awe of your strength of character....and envious.

Honest...you need to look at this as the decision has been made for you. There's no guilt associated with your "leaving" your M. Your WH has taken all the decisions out of your hands and your job is to start living a life for yourself. Take baby steps...but it really is time to take steps. Start NOW letting go of the guilt you have been carrying. It's gone now....there is no more. It's time for you to stand up for you. Just like you would tell any of us in the same sich. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Tribe - I'm still struggling every day and every hour between R and separation. I have asked WH to "win me back", I have told him that I need/want to be told "I'm sorry" over and over, that I need him to tell me that he recognizes that I am giving him a second chance and the old patterns of miscommunication continue. I understand his wanting to just "move forward" and not dwell on the past; I understand his wanting to just forget what he did and I understand that he is "trying." But at what point do I realize that I may never feel comfortable in this M again. I dread him coming home in the morning as we will both be on walking on eggshells. He totally blindsided me after DDay when he told the MC about how he could tell I didn't love him because I didn't answer his calls right away, and didn't go on enough trips with him....sound familiar Laura? It's all about him! Never mind that we still have a DS at home in high school, I have a job, although I work at home I have responsiblities and commitments. The thing is that I can't tell what or when I'm pissing him off and then he's upset/mad/angry and he lets it stew. Supposedly this is what led to the A.

I am incredibly sad. He is a great guy, a good man, but maybe he'll never be able to make me feel secure again? If there were no kids involved I would separate, even if only to clear my head. Day to day, hour to hour I change my mind about what to do. Does this sound normal?

[This message edited by strongish at 9:31 PM, November 9th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strong

Sound familiar Laura? It's all about him! Never mind that we still have a DS at home in high school, I have a job, although I work at home I have responsiblities and commitments.

Yes honey it was. But is it now?? For me this is the difference. H is trying. Yes he gets it wrong esp when he goes on about his fucking ducks. But I know he is really trying and that is what I wanted all through our marriage. So the evil man I hate has gone. The one who never tried. This man, the one I have now, is genuinely trying but he is human so he gets it wrong sometimes. That's Ok by me. I will remind him gently and hopefully he will do better next time. But HE IS TRYING!

Is your H trying? I know how weak they are but IS HE TRYING????

So in answer to your question. If you really believe he is trying - even if it's in his own weak way (which may be a lot for him) then I would stay. If he's not trying I would cut your losses.

because I didn't answer his calls right away, and didn't go on enough trips with him. The thing is that I can't tell what or when I'm pissing him off and then he's upset/mad/angry and he lets it stew. Supposedly this is what led to the A.

WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!!! My H stopped his "I was lonely" excuse when I called him on it. I was lonely too but I DIDNT CHEAT. 2X4 him for this. If he's REALLY TRYING he'll stop this crap.

maybe he'll never be able to make me feel secure again?

My H who is trying is TRYING to make me feel secure. He swears he loves only me and will never again have another OW. I have to believe this. I know there will be times I will wonder and my gut will rumble. But I think now I will know. If I suspect I will get the tech toys out of mothballs and check. If confimed we are done. He knows I mean that so I feel relatively secure. He told me he was sure I'd never find out. Now he knows I not only did but was able to get detailed info going back 16yrs. He knows I can find out. That also gives me some security.
He doesn't know most of my sources so I feel fairly secure.
But I understand your fear.

Hope I helped. I had to go back and edit so hope it makes sense.

Laura

[This message edited by Laura28 at 9:52 PM, November 9th (Tuesday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura
Leave the ducks alone. They too are innocent victims. All they do is quack & quack & quack &...


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow I made a mess. How did I do that??
Sorry everyone. I'm not going to edit again will probably make it worse


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and shit and shit and shit. but they quite cute!!!


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't thank everyone enough. I do need the 2 x 4's. I need the reality check.
IC keeps telling me it's like I'm trying to make myself accept this situation and of course I can't.

A poster on another thread suggested if you can't take baby steps, break down the baby steps into something smaller.


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

honest, no more 2x4. Down here when a big ugly storm threatens our safety we put up plywood to protect the home. So I am sending you a 4'x8'sheet of 3/4 OSG plywood for you to use to block him out. Nail it up over your window and reinforce your wall with it.

((honesttoafaultt))


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

moreroses, a very nice and meaningful post. Thank you.

Laura28
I tried duck eggs when we raised ducks , maybe OK in cakes, but not on a fried egg sammie. Ducks do a great job of getting the bugs out of the garden too.

is iwam around? I just finished a vent in General and I am feeling like it is time for Tequila tonight.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, Ats.....It's a good visual!

Maybe my first baby step will be to start writing that list, Miracle!


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

laura: you super long post was wonderful to read, you have come such an amazingly long way in such a short short time.....i am in awe of your strength, your fortitude and most of all how well you are handling it all.....your meltdowns are mild, and blow over quickly, and even then i still have this picture of total and complete class of a woman who know how to hold it together....the amount of stuff....huge stuff that you have had to process is just still so overwhelming to me and its not my life.....having said all of that, be prepared for some more meltdowns, or moments of sadness ( the kind where you sob as opposed to cry).....and always always keep in mind all that you wrote in that post....never forget what you have realized....sometimes it is easy to forget that when you are in the middle of pain....

and going within is tremendous.....it really helps one reconnect with self.....and it is necessary to reconnect with self to recharge....


strong: i do not remember how old your kids are...staying for the kids is rough....really rough....i have lots of moments where i am very tempted to give up this cause....manchild who is 17 pushes those buttons that want to just give up and just get it done...get d'ed now and get on with my life....the temptation is HUGE these days...i know though that that is my emotions speaking and not my logic....logic seems to leave me completely when those buttons are pushed...like an override...

anyways...really really think it over...staying for the kids...how long do you plan on staying for them...when will it be your time...

for me: i am beginning to live my own life separate...my own little double life....that double life though is becomming a life line for me....i step into being just miracle....i am no ones mother, no ones daughter, no ones friend...and most especially i am NO ONES WIFE....just me...


grace: i think its really wonderful that you want to reach out and you are "open"
to what we have to say....

for now only 2 things:

1. you still have not answered why your bs is not a member here...

are you choosing not to share this site...or is he closed off to the idea?

2. why of all the forums do you choose to post here.....we do not have many wayards here, in fact you may not be the first, but you are the most recent....

in wayward forum you would be getting help and advice from those who actually walk in your shoes...

in reconcilliation you would be getting help from those who are in reconcilliation and are in active in achieving success in it....granted there are many on that forum in salse reconciclliation...but way more who are really trying....so kind of walking the shoes you wish to walk...

so i admit i am curious as to why lta....if we are truly helping you that makes me happy....becaue helping you is helping your bs....on some level.....and any level that your bs can be helped is good....

daylite savings time is catching up, good nite all

(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

....i am no ones mother, no ones daughter, no ones friend...and most especially i am NO ONES WIFE....just me...

I think that this is what I want to do. My youngest just turned 17, 11th grade so really only 1-1.5 years with him home. But I'm not the type of person that can hide their feelings. If I'm not planning to stay with WH for the rest of my life I don't think I can just play house for the next 1.5 years. I know that I would be resentful/angry and pissed off the whole time!

I applied for a full-time job this morning. I'm actually very qualified but in this job market there will probably be a 100 people that are qualified and apply as well. I haven't worked full-time in a long, long time but I want to try and do this so that I don't feel like I have to stay in the M because I'm afraid to be alone. I want to prove to myself, and my WH, that I am strong enough to be without him. We've been together more than 28 years, more than half my life, but I can't get past the fact that this man had an A for over 4 years! I know, I know....at some point I have to get over it and I will. But apparently not yet. DDay was 6/29/10 and I feel like I've aged 100 years since then.

Anyway...thanks for listening Tribe. It helps so much to be able to "write" down my thoughts and to get an outside viewpoint.

(((tribe)))


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strong: i totally understand how you feel?

do any of your kids know?

if staying will make your house an unhappy place, then rethinking that decision would be in order...

your d-day is so so recent as well, you really do need to give it a bit more time....at least 6 months, which would put you i would say sometime in january....making permament decision and choices around holidays is almost always a mistake....the "air" is always different...kind of like being in a club and at the end the lights come and you actually "see" who you were talking to,,,

lining up your ducks though is a great empowering thing for you to do...so go for it...


geez, i am thinkin that ducks seem to take over way more then the cabana boys did......something not quite right about that one...

this time it really is good nite....eyes are drooping now...


(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good night miracle
We love you
laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Frustrated  Posted: 12:02 AM, November 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{LTA}}}

I've just skimmed posts since the wkend. Much wisdom & support has been posted for all situations so I can only add hugs to all the tribe.

Winter is getting closer and FWH wants to park in the garage so there was a lot of moving of sil's estate from there to the house while the weather is still decent. He's out of town all week and as I'm off to the west coast on Saturday the job had to be done (really glad we didn't have any f'ng ducks to look after as well) L0L... Sorry Laura but they really do seem to bring smiles around here.

Didn't sleep last night so increased the meds taken for an attempt tonight.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 1:59 AM, November 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Can't believe I worked out how to put up a picture.
They are cute aren't they
Yes DP I will stop being mean to them. It isn't their fault. I'm afraid I still like the expression "fucking ducks". And here they are "excited in the grass"!

[This message edited by Laura28 at 2:02 AM, November 10th (Wednesday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 2:28 AM, November 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If these applied for the job would you hire them miracle?

I found this when I googled "cabana boys". It was the first image listed.
To all our gentlemen members - please don't be offended. I'm sure you were all much hotter than these guys when you were in your prime.
Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 4:47 AM, November 10th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow Laura! Well done! Some deep digging done here and I hope it brings you the peace you deserve. That is also my H, but probably to a lesser degree. You have to remember that our WS were all incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. Yes, maybe they were depressed or wanted more from life or felt trapped, but what they did was no excuse. They used those diversions, those fantasies, to try and gain an image of themselves they liked. And that was the role of the AP. But I do think that many of those points hold true for all of us in here. great stuff!

Does this sound normal?
In a word, yes. Stay with it strongish, you will get there. The FWS does not always come up with the goods, in which case you have to do more work on yourself by yourself. There came a point when FWH seemed to think it was time to parcel this up, put it away and move on. But he hadnít stopped with the TT, so I couldnít move on with him. IC helped, coming here helps, writing and talking things out help. Be patient. It can be a long road. (((strongish)))

moreroses, anyone is welcome to post here. FYI, the benchmark for a LTA is 2yrs or more. But the MOW in my case was neither broken nor remorseful. She was the ex-fiancee and she felt entitled.. Sure, she was broken afterwards and her BH was left trying to pick up the pieces. I had several conversations with her and met her for a long 2 or 3hr meeting. She never once said she was sorry for what she did to me. She was only concerned about how she had been treated and how my WH just abandoned her, wouldnít meet her so she could have closure. She was one pathetic individual and I feel nothing but sneering contempt for her. She even had the gall to be upset when I told and subsequently met her BH, said that I was wrecking her marriage!! So, no sympathy for the OW here. None. But thanks for your support.

Laura Ė I think the ducks are more useful. The boys look nice, but are they good for much else other than eye-candy? They kinda look a bit vain. And too close to DS's ages! Iíll take the ducks Ė theyíre cute.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

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