Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: z1x2606 (43216)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: BS Questions for WS- Part 5
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BS's, please do not answer by proxy for your WS, stick to your situation.
Also, please read in the Healing library, under the BS FAQ's, WS FAQ's and BS for WS FAQ's before posting your question.

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Listeningclosely
♂ Member
Member # 16472
Angry  Posted: 9:02 AM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tsol25 -

So I'm not ready to tell my wbf about this site because I've been using almost like a diary.
I was wondering if there has been any articles that have especially helped any WS. I found "Things that every WS needs to know" which I'm going to email him a copy of and I've sifted through the healing library but find that a lot of the articles aren't as related to a ONS. If anyone has any advice that would be very helpful, I know he feels kind of lost and alone and I hope to send him a link to the site one day because it's been invaluable to me.

My A was not a ONS, so I'm not sure exactly what types of things you think would best help your WS. What I can tell you is other than SI, there really are no other solid support sites for WS's who want to recover and aim to R their M.

I understand the need for BS's to have a "safe haven", but I strongly feel that every WS who is not given a heads up about the existance of SI is being denied the best chance they have at healing.

In the meantime, you may find some relevant posts in the ONS thread in ICR. They just won't be WS focused.


BW(her)- 45, FWH (me) 48
4 month Online EA
M 23 years, together for 28
4 Daughters - 21, 18, 14 and 12
d-day 6/2/07, in R
FORGIVENESS 1/1/2008!!!
"Action expresses priorities." -
Mohandas Gandhi

Posts: 4454 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: One Particular Harbour
HUFI-PUFI
♂ Member
Member # 25460
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tsol25 - So I'm not ready to tell my wbf about this site because I've been using almost like a diary. If anyone has any advice that would be very helpful, I know he feels kind of lost and alone and I hope to send him a link to the site one day because it's been invaluable to me.

These are some of the most common posts on the Wayward side that get bumped because they all contain some great advice and comments from the WS community. He cannot go wrong reading them but they are not ONS specific.

Like LC however, I too feel that while you are sheltering your ďsafe place to ventĒ, you are denying him perhaps the best website on the net for WS spouses. This is one of the very few where we have a safe place to post. Itís one of the few that has a dedicated forum for everyone.

I would ask that you reconsider keeping SI to yourself and share this site with him. It can still be a safe place to go to if you establish some rules regarding posting on each otherís threads. There are a lot of couples here on the site that share and with very few exceptions, everyone seems to think that itís a net benefit to R.

Trickle truthing - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=377594

To newbie WS - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=239888

Books for and by WS - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=318321

Withdrawal - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=137622

Not Friends - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=342003

You are not alone - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=344026

How much a BS hurts - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=327446

What my BS wants to hear - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=331795

Maintains NC - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=180682

HUFI

[This message edited by HUFI-PUFI at 11:36 AM, November 5th (Friday)]


Donít listen to your head, itís easily confused. Donít listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.

Posts: 3218 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Azilda, Northern Ontario
trusted2much
♀ New Member
Member # 29092
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another question for the FWS...A little background first. My h and I disagree sometimes on the proper road to r. I may find a post on SI that I find is similar to something that is going on in our situation and will read it to him and point out that I would feel better if he tried doing something that one of the other WS did or was advised to do in that sitution, or I can find websites for therapists or counselors that suggest things that I would like to have him do. He will, later, go to SI (we are both lurkers) and find a post and pick one line or one paragraph out of the thread that supports his thinking or find a website from a counselor/therapist to support his views on how r should be handled. Now for the question. I have given him two books to read: Not Just Friends and How to Survive an Affair. He has read a handful of pages in each in the last 11 months. He was listening to a radio show on Playboy (he has satellite) and heard about a book on there. For the record, I objected to him listening to this station, as he turned on once for me in an effort to get me to realize that it wasn't porn. It happened to be on a Friday night and from what I heard, it was. Anyway, he said he heard of a book on this station. Went on to say he listens to this during the day and it is an advice program. At least he told me that is where he got the idea for the book and I din't say anything about him listening. I was initially happy that he was interested in reading a book to improve our situation, but now I feel like he won't read what I give him, but he will pick something on his own to read, like he is trying to prove me wrong or going against me again. The book arrived today and I mentioned that there are two other books I asked him to read also, and he responded that maybe they don't interest him or maybe he doesn't find them helpful & agree with the content. We have to be open to his ideas, too. What does this sound like to you? Have any of you done this and at what stage of the r process? Thank you, again!!!


Me: BS
Him: WS
Together: 29 Yrs.
Married: 25 Yrs (23 at time of EA)

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2010
Sad Petunia
♀ Member
Member # 26403
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To all WH's, I respectfully ask of you to answer this question I have that tortures me constantly. Do you often compare and contrast your BW to your OW sexually?

I suffer terribly because in my case, my H was involved with a paid escort during 3 years. I have never had a sexual partner other than my H. Throughout our 24 years together (18 married), I always felt my H wasn't so very interested in sex. We had a lazy sexual life and a wonderful M in every other sense. My IC says that this OW awakened my H to all these new sexual experiences that kept him hooked to her for all that time in spite of the fact that he loved me throughout and still does.

It is so very difficult for me...ever since DDay, I have made a point of having regular sex often once a day. I never asked what he did with OW becuase I felt he had to like me for myself and not because all of a sudden I was her. We have enjoyed the most wonderful sexual relationship ever since. However, I OFTEN wonder (not during sex, but during the rest of the day. I am saddened because I feel that he experienced many pleasurable things with another woman and that he must remember those moments. I constantly feel inadequate and keep torturing myself because I know I don't measure up to a woman with her experience. He surely liked what she did to him. He risked everything in his life because he liked her so much...

Once, I ended up crying because he tried having anal sex with me and it made me feel so bad...I said, you don't know what it feels for me to know you learned this with her. He begged and swore he had never done this with her. I said, give me a break, you don't think I believe that do you? He cried and cried and said how could he have ruined our lives like this. He never again tried to do this with me. Now I wonder if he misses it.

I keep buying books on sex and sexual positions, and I swear there is nothing we haven't done, nothing we hadn't really done before. I have always been open minded about sex and our sex life waned because I didn't want to push it. Now I am very jealous that OW achieved it and that he loved it. My heart breaks every time I think this.

Do you guys miss what you did with OW? Do you wish your wives did the same things? Please give me advise.

Edited for misspellings and to add: My H does make me feel he desires me and he likes me. During intimacy, he says things like "you are so delicious", "I love doing this with you", etc.

[This message edited by Sad Petunia at 12:16 PM, November 5th (Friday)]



ME BS:43
HIM WH:46
Married: 18 years
Together: 24 years
2 children 16 and 13
D-day: 09-19-09
2nd D-day: 02-16-2010

Posts: 157 | Registered: Dec 2009
onlysolution
♀ Member
Member # 23160
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

trusted2much,
My BS and I read a few different books together. Some we both chose from the bookstore and some I ordered on-line. We would read them out loud and then discuss what we thought of that opinion and whether we agreed or disagreed. There are MANY different opinions out there and it is good to stay open minded. You cannot force your H to concede that all your ideas are right and his are wrong. If you are willing to read material he chooses, then you'll probably have better luck getting him to read material you choose.

I would suggest you read his book with him and keep an open mind. Then read a book of your choosing together and compare. Don't think of it as right and wrong, but what will help your marriage and what you both can live with.


FWW: Me 52
BH: 54
Married 34 years
Recovery - Over 4 years

Posts: 448 | Registered: Mar 2009
onlysolution
♀ Member
Member # 23160
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad Petunia,
A am a WW, so it is a little different perspective. Also, my affair was very much emotional even more so than physical, which also changes things...but I will address your question anyway.

You said you had a lazy sexlife, but a very good marriage otherwise. Maybe your H never really thought he about looking for an exciting sex life and was fairly content, until he discovered a different type of sexlife. He maybe never really thought about being able to find this with you, even though he loved you very much. To him, it may just been about filling a need he found in himself which was in some way separate from you. Upon discovery and the way he hurt you he felt very sad and ashamed because he did love you. Now he is finding that he can find this extra bonus in his marriage. He has discovered that he does not need to go looking somewhere else for it, that he can find it with you. Don't think that he is thinking of her, or that she was something more important or better than you. For your H, he is probably reveling in the fact that he has discovered that everything he needs is right at home with him.

When I was with the OP, it seemed to me that the sex was better and that it was something that I could not find at home. What I discovered after Dday is that I could find it at home and let me tell you that finding it with my spouse was way better than anything else, anywhere.

Remember that she was a paid escort just making a living and doing a job. He knows that. She was acting. How much better he must feel knowing that he can put that behind him and find fulfillment where he is supposed to.


FWW: Me 52
BH: 54
Married 34 years
Recovery - Over 4 years

Posts: 448 | Registered: Mar 2009
Sad Petunia
♀ Member
Member # 26403
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Onlysolution,

Your words have left a great impression on me. First of all because it is the first time I get feedback from the wayward perspective, second, because you put it all in a very calm and analytical way, and third, because it is more or less what my IC and my H try to get me to understand.

My H had never been with another woman but me before, and apparently had many sexual taboos that were established during his very, very strict upbringing. Apparently, he never thought he could have these pleasures and much less with his wife/mother of his children. He has also said something you mention, and that is that he felt he was fulfilling something in himself that had nothing to do with me or the way he felt about me. I also feel what you say that he is happy to see he can have that right at home with me. Thank you very much for telling me that in your case, findig out you could have this at home with your own spouse was the best thing that happened to you. I certainly hold on to the hope this is the same in my H's case.

The trouble in our situation stems from the fact that although she was a paid escort, the length of the A, and I suppose the intensity of it, led her to believe my H would in the end leave me for her. I think she developed feelings for him and was not acting. This hurts me a lot. My H says she was never more than a hired person to him and that he always made it clear to her and always paid her. He also wrote that in an email he sent her, he said "I never loved you. You put those crazy thoughts into your own head." This is one of the hardest things for me to believe. How could she get that notion from just anywhere? Well sorry, here I am diverging from our original subject.

I just wish I were sure my H feels the same way you do. And let me tell you, I hope so for his sake also, not only mine, because I believe we all have a right to be happy and fulfilled.


ME BS:43
HIM WH:46
Married: 18 years
Together: 24 years
2 children 16 and 13
D-day: 09-19-09
2nd D-day: 02-16-2010

Posts: 157 | Registered: Dec 2009
trusted2much
♀ New Member
Member # 29092
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Onlysolution - Thanks for the input. Sometimes I need another POV. I admit I am reluctant to agree to his POV sometimes. I guess I am a little bitter from his need to prove me wrong on things. He was able to find advice to agree with his perspective that he doesn't need to tell me the whole story or answer my question, that I should be nicer to him to "win" him back, even that I am making R harder by requiring the above from him. I need to be more open minded to his efforts, I just worry that it will be more of the same. I need to believe that he has our best interest at heart. Difficult, but I am working on it. Five Minute Conversations might be just what we need. Thank you again for reminding me!


Me: BS
Him: WS
Together: 29 Yrs.
Married: 25 Yrs (23 at time of EA)

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2010
onlysolution
♀ Member
Member # 23160
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad Petunia,
Many women involved in an affair or even in your case with it being a prostitute believe that the married man loves them and grows to love them back. I think this is because women's emotions are more completely wrapped up with sex. More men can just enjoy sex and feel emotions while sharing sex that causes the woman he is with think it must be love. But, I think for a man when he really loves it encompasses much more of his life than just this. While he probably did feel affection for this woman because of the length of time they were sharing something pleasurable, this was not love.

It is understandable how someone with a very strict upbringing can have difficulty seeing their wife & mother of their children as a sexual being. This does sometimes get in the way of an exciting sex life. Even though what your H did was selfish and very hurtful to you, it sounds like he is a pretty good husband in other areas of life. He also sounds very remorseful, which is one of the most important things for healing.

Rather than thinking about what he did or didn't do with her (I know this is hard to do and will take time) just keep thinking about the good things you do together now and think about making it special, romantic and fun.


You probably will have moments of sadness and tears and you should share that with your H. But, always let him know that despite the hurt, you are happy to be together and happy for what you have in each other today. My H tells me this all the time, even when he is feeling a bit down about memories he'd rather not have. This makes it easy for me to tell him I'm sorry and tell him how much I love him as well.


FWW: Me 52
BH: 54
Married 34 years
Recovery - Over 4 years

Posts: 448 | Registered: Mar 2009
Sad Petunia
♀ Member
Member # 26403
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Onlysolution,

My IC believes OW is an "erotomaniac". This is a mentally sick woman who falls in love with a man who is socially superior to her and deludes herself into believing he loves her back.

I have to tell you though, that one of the hardest things for me is what you mention about affection. This hurts me horribly and I know it is true. This womans daughter has an illness in her kidney and my H helped her with money for the girl's treatment. He also helped her buy a car. He says he always felt sorry for her and helped where he could. This to me brought about her "confusion". I'll tell you, this is not easy...

I do try and think mostly of the good stuff we share now, but my heart is broken.


ME BS:43
HIM WH:46
Married: 18 years
Together: 24 years
2 children 16 and 13
D-day: 09-19-09
2nd D-day: 02-16-2010

Posts: 157 | Registered: Dec 2009
tsol25
♀ Member
Member # 29461
Default  Posted: 1:30 AM, November 6th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listeningclosely
Thanks for your reply. I agree with what you said about having a chance at healing. Denying him information about SI would be sort of like me not letting him go to IC

Hufi-Pufi
I read through those links and your profile. I'm definitely going to send him a link to the site this weekend. Thanks for helping me see that this can be an equally powerful tool for him as well


me - tsol, that's all for now

Posts: 1208 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Canada
FmrLIer
♀ Member
Member # 29784
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, November 6th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm trying to figure out the best way to move forward in our R. I don't want to constantly be asking my WH question after question about his OA or remind him how much it hurts. No good can come of nagging and beating him over the head with hit. He knows he screwed up.

I've learned in IC that a good approach is to write down questions as they occur and then sit down with him once a week to talk about them.

My question is this - what methods did your BS use that helped you both move forward and regain trust in the relationship again?

Thanks!

SN - @trustedtomuch - we also have satellite and there is a talk show in the afternoons on PB. It's probably the Tiffany G. show he's talking about. The show is pretty much an advice show about relationships and sex.


Me (BS)
Him (fSAH)
OA/PA

Ignorance was bliss but it wasn't the reality of my marriage...


Posts: 427 | Registered: Oct 2010
Nicki519
♀ Member
Member # 26311
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, November 8th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itís been a year and 5 months since last d-day. R is going good, and WH has been doing all the right things, and being transparent. MOW contacted WH a week ago via txt msg. When MOW didnít get the response from WH that she wanted she then texted me. I gave her a piece of my mind and now WH and I have her blocked again.

I am always comparing myself to MOW when it comes to sex. I know men & women are so different when it comes to sex and love. I do believe MOW thinks sheís ďin loveĒ with WH. I was doing a lot better by not comparing myself to MOW when it came to sex, but since she has contacted us again all the comparisons are coming back. Our personalities are so very different, so I know that also comes into play. MOW is very loud, obnoxious, not shy, will probably do anything. Where I am on the quite side, and I can be shy, and Iím not obnoxious. Iím not a prude by any means but I do have my limits when it comes to sex.

With that being said I have images of MOW in the bedroom with my WH. I see it being very wild, hot and heavy sex, and rough. (Not hurtful). WH would love sex everyday, where Iím fine with once or twice a week. They had sex all the time for 6 months. They told each other their deep dark secrets, and fantasies. WH has never told me any of that stuff and I know he never will. So Iím sure their fantasies were also played out in the bedroom. I donít believe that WH doesnít miss the sex with MOW since we are so different. I asked WH again after MOW contacted us last week if he misses the sex with her and he says NO! How can he not miss it when he was getting everything he wanted plus some?

I know an A isnít the ďreal worldĒ and in my opinion having sex in an A is sex. If itís good itís good, if itís not itís not. Even though WH was in fantasy land he was having great sex. How can he not miss that?


BS, Me, 41
WH, 41
Married 12yrs, Together 17yrs
D-day #1 May 25, 2009
D-day #2 June 21, 2009
8 yr old Son
19 yr old Step Daughter
In Recovery

Posts: 226 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: The South
getting real
♀ Member
Member # 28912
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FmrLIer:
My question is this - what methods did your BS use that helped you both move forward and regain trust in the relationship again?

Some things come to mind immediately...

He has been open about his feelings, but generally kept his cool when I am trying to give him honest answers about the A.

In fact, when I occasionally fall apart from shame, grief over the destruction I've brought, fatigue... he is very compassionate and kind.

Also, he has given me positive feedback when I am doing things right. That has meant so much to me.

And, we have both worked to make time to just "be us" together, and have some space to connect in the ways that make the relationship worth going through all the work and pain to save it.


Me: WW, 34 Him: BH, 34 -- StillGoing
2 kids, ages 9 and 5
1.5 year EA/PA
D-day 5/01/10

Ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child
Softly stolen under our blanket skies
And rescue me from me and all that I believe


Posts: 184 | Registered: Jun 2010
getting real
♀ Member
Member # 28912
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nicki519:
I know an A isnít the ďreal worldĒ and in my opinion having sex in an A is sex. If itís good itís good, if itís not itís not. Even though WH was in fantasy land he was having great sex. How can he not miss that?

Well... I feel sex is mostly about what's going on in your head. This is kind of hard to talk about, but the sex in my A was really not all that. But it had this big fizzy "rush" attached to it at the time, because of the circumstances, that made it seem unreasonably exciting. That started to fade even during the duration of the A, though.

Now, I am just really grossed out by it. I sure as hell don't miss it.

With that said, is there a reason you have not asked him about the sex? I feel you have a right to know, if you want to. And, there is a pretty good chance your "mind movies" are worse than the reality.

What about the things he shared with OW that you feel he would/will never tell you? Can you ask him about those? I think it is reasonable to expect, as part of repairing the broken intimacy, that he would be ready to give you everything that he (wrongly) gave to her.

I just glanced over the above paragraphs and noticed that they seem very... direct. I hope it doesn't come across as critical, because I sure don't want it to be. I know it takes courage to put your vulnerabilities out there for strangers.


Me: WW, 34 Him: BH, 34 -- StillGoing
2 kids, ages 9 and 5
1.5 year EA/PA
D-day 5/01/10

Ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child
Softly stolen under our blanket skies
And rescue me from me and all that I believe


Posts: 184 | Registered: Jun 2010
Nicki519
♀ Member
Member # 26311
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

getting real

Thank you for responding! I don't think you were being critical at all! I appreciate any input and opinoins that anyone will take the time to give me!

I have asked him a couple times if he misses sex w/MOW and the only answer I get is "NO!". I do already know a lot of the details of their sex life by reading 100's of emails. Very detailed emails mostly written by MOW and WH then responding.

I told WH that there is definetly one thing MOW took from me and that is you (wh) being able to share your deep dark secrets and fantasies with MOW and you have never shared them with me. WH told me "don't think that MOW took that from you because I will tell you one day, and I don't want you to ever think she took something from you." Its been 7 or 8 months since that conversation and I still know nothing. And honestly now reading here on SI I don't want to know these things. I understand that its fucked up how WH can tell MOW certain things and not their spouse. WH can let his guard down and not worry about losing MOW's respect b/c its not the real world. Where as if he told me these things he may worry about the real life ramifications, and the possiblity of me looking at him differently, and its hard to show your spouse your vulnerabilites. I get all that now and don't want to know his fantasies. But it still doesn't make it any easier that MOW knows and I never will.


BS, Me, 41
WH, 41
Married 12yrs, Together 17yrs
D-day #1 May 25, 2009
D-day #2 June 21, 2009
8 yr old Son
19 yr old Step Daughter
In Recovery

Posts: 226 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: The South
RKT429SS
♂ Member
Member # 28883
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God someone please help me.

For WS's WHAT can I do after we have an arguement about bringing up the affair. Had a huge argument last night on our date night that my WW set up and I ruined it by bringing it up.

I canít help it when emotions come out and I bring the AP person up. She is utterly frustrated with me at this point. She wants to forget it and here I am shoving it in her face every four or five days. What can I say, NOW, today to make her feel better and understand that I am sorry for continuously bringing shit up!!!!!!!!!

I tell her I'm sorry. I tell her I want us to work, but she still gets angry with me for being angry with her.


Me - BS 38
Her - WS 37
MOM - coworker,with 2 kids, EA&PA approx. 6 mo
Us Married 10 yrs (together 15 yrs)
1 girl, 1 boy
DDay 3.15.2010
Working on R

Posts: 216 | Registered: Jun 2010
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think your WW is being fair to you for getting angry with you for bringing it up. Talking about the A is crucial for the healing of the BS. It IS frustrating for the WS, but dealing with it and talking about it is what gets you through it. There is no going around it. Rug sweeping is what she is doing and that is not R.

Also, she gets angry at you for being angry at her for having an A? Totally unfair and unreasonable.

Please stop feeling bad for needing to talk about it. She needs to work harder to help you and the M heal.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 34746 | Registered: Sep 2007
RKT429SS
♂ Member
Member # 28883
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, November 12th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I should clarify that when I said she gets angry at me for getting angry at herÖthat it is not that black and white. There is a tremendous amount my FWW has done. I have over looked that in the past and she gets frustrated with that. We have wonderful, even better times than before the A. Itís those days that I need to remind myself of and quite literally thank her for that cause of her effort. The time has come for me to simply get over it.


Me - BS 38
Her - WS 37
MOM - coworker,with 2 kids, EA&PA approx. 6 mo
Us Married 10 yrs (together 15 yrs)
1 girl, 1 boy
DDay 3.15.2010
Working on R

Posts: 216 | Registered: Jun 2010
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.