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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 6 (Men only)
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Razor, because I'm immersed in this lovely fantasy, I must defend it. In my case, I'm divorced from XW. The way CS/alimony works, if some sap has to pay CS/alimony to multiple people, there is a cap, and I think it's around 30% (at least in my state).

What this would mean is that my XW would have to pay ~30% of her income, divided among the BS of the people she cheated with (most were unmarried, but nevertheless, it would still add up to 30%).

It would also mean that all the other men would have to divide their payments amongst every other BS that busted them.

I'd still be fucking rich. Ain't nobody taking this fantasy away from me.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 3:54 PM, December 13th (Monday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds much more sensible than having to get 3 or 4 extra jobs to pay for you WW cheating.

Back to you fantasy then. Think I will enjoy it allong with you.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3088 | Registered: Sep 2007
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Iranian justice system is based on Old Testament-Pharisee type of law where there is little chance for mercy. No thanks!

But "No Fault" divorce? It's no one's fault? WTH? OM's screwed our WW's. It's the fault of the WW's and the OM's. They should get to pay, not us. How much simpler can it be. Where's the justice and fairness?

A little blurb on this from Wikipedia...
No-fault divorce was pioneered by the Bolsheviks following the Russian Revolution of 1917. Before the Revolution, churches, mosques, and synagogues defined family life. It was the ecclesiastical law of the various denominations that controlled the family, marriage, and divorce. Under these non-secular laws, divorce was highly restricted (though never completely unavailable, as no major religion in Russia completely disallowed divorce).

The 1918 Decree on Divorce eliminated the religious marriage and the underlying ecclesiastical law, by replacing them with civil marriage sanctioned by the state. Divorce was obtained by filing a mutual consent document with the Russian Registry Office, or by the unilateral request of one party to the court. The divorce law under the Bolsheviks did not penalize the husband with alimony, child support, or debtor's prison for non-payment. The two partners were entirely free of legal obligations to each other after divorce.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce

"No-fault" divorce in the United States originated in the state of California(where else?) effective January 1, 1970. At that time, lawyers and judges objected to the legal fictions used to bypass statutory requirements for obtaining a divorce, which had become more commonplace since the mid-20th century. In August of 2010, New York's governor, David Paterson, signed "no-fault" divorce into law, and since October 15th, 2010 no-fault divorce has been legal in all 50 U.S. states, and the District of Columbia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce

It seems that the American justice system threw out what the Bolsheviks had added to keep husbands free from further debt(bolded above).

My ex-wife got the house and all the furniture even though my mother lent us 5 grand for a down-payment, which the cow never bothered to repay. This was in California in 1976. What did I get? My car, the debt we had accrued, and our dog(who later ran away). Who can blame him?

There should be some kind of financial penalty exacted on those who break their wedding vows, and those who are complicit in that. That is done with business contracts so why not with marriage? It is called a "marriage contract" after all. There are laws on the books but they are mostly ignored and deemed as archaic in our so-called enlightened society. Some examples:
Infidelity and Adultery Laws and Court Decisions
http://www.icsworld.com/papers_and_press/infidelity_and_adultery_laws_and_court_decisions.aspx

Here in Maryland, adultery is considered a misdemeanor which is rarely ever punished. The justice system does not punish immoral behavior but there should be some type of financial relief due the husband in civil litigation.

You would think since the courts always look out for the welfare of the children first, that they would take steps to punish financially those who destroy marriages and families. This might be a deterrence to future adulterers. Yeah, I know that's not gonna happen...just wishing out loud.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK, guys, a completely different topic here. I think this may be about the only safe place on the planet to post this, but maybe not.

Now that I'm just starting to think about dating again, I'm getting pissed at the conventions that are still alive and kicking relating to the whole courtship crap. Answer me these questions:

1) Why is the man expected to stick his neck out when it comes to asking for the next date, asking for the first kiss, asking for marriage?
2) What's all the crap about expensive jewelry? Why must we prove that we love them by spending obscene amounts of money on something that's completely worthless?

I'd like to find a woman that:

1) Earns more than I do
2) Doesn't sit there waiting around for me to always take initiative
3) Asks my mother for permission to marry me.
4) Gets down on one knee and proposes to me, and offers me a pretty box containing a gift certificate for a 50" plasma.

Sound insane? Well, that's more or less what women expect from us.

ETA: pretty obvious I'm just pissed about how my last relationship (with XW) turned out.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 5:06 PM, December 13th (Monday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once in a lifetime -

Welcome to my fantasy. Unfortunately, I havent found that woman yet. I had to settle for a cheap imitation....TWICE


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I may get burnt at the stake for this.

But I think it all comes down to prostitution. We PAY for dinner etc. and may be we get laid. We pay for this and that thru the whole courtship. Then we buy their favors by the purchase of a ridiculous shiny object.

In the end it all come down to paying for sex. That. And. We are to stupid to figure it out. Because once we pay the big money. The shiny object + 50%+ of all our stuff. We end up getting LESS sex than before.

Seriously. A hooker is a much better deal.

AND. (this one is really going to get me into trouble)
(women who happen to be in here reading this... stop NOW. you wont like what you are about to read. Read further at you own risk.)

So. what is the purpose of a woman with no kids that stay home while husband works? Or a woman with a rich husband who has kids (and a nanny) that stay at home while husband works?

These women may be do some house work. May be not. They complain about husband not doing enuf around the house. They day is filled with going to the pool. Lunch with friends. (may be screwing a OM) Recreational activities.

What is their purpose? What value do they add to the relationship? Answer: they give sex once in a while. As I said. It all comes down to prostitution.

Ok. So fry me up.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3088 | Registered: Sep 2007
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty sure this is related to the whole "three dates to evaluate" thing I keep seeing all over the internet.

You get a guy to pay for three dates, then move on to the next schmuck. It's not using his wallet for a good time, it's keeping your options open, because apparently three dates are still the "no strings attached" zone.

(That's somewhat tongue in cheek. I haven't dated in twenty years, so I don't know if men are still expected to pay for early dates in the new dating life of free agents seeking relationships or if it's more equitable than it used to be. I was never a casual dater. If I asked a girl out, it was because I really liked her and knew her well enough that I wanted to pursue a relationship already -- that was how it mostly worked in my small town. The girls who you took out on casual dates or experimental dates were either friends who paid their own way and you were seeing if there might be sparks, or the sort of girl who let you pay for dinner and paid you back in the back seat of your car. People not from small towns where you already know all of the girls in the dating pool from school might have a different experience.)

All I can say is that being a single guy dating around must be enormously expensive these days. No wonder so many of them decide to stay single and save their money.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I fucking double-posted. What the hell?

[This message edited by wincing_at_light at 5:09 PM, December 13th (Monday)]


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WAL.

I have heard thru me sons that there are women out there that date men they have NO interest in - simply because they know this guy has some money and they want a nice dinner. I have been told these women lead the guys on feigning interest just to keep the guy coming back.

There are lots of sick people out there.

OK.

t/j

If you were single again. Would you date a former (divorced I assume) WW?

I wouldnt. If she werent a FWW I would still try and discover her dating history. And if she had concurrent boy friends in her past. I would stop seeing her.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3088 | Registered: Sep 2007
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I didn't even mention the assumed obligation the man has to pay for each date. That's a thorn in my side, too, in this age where many women are earning decent livings.

I think that women feel it's a "romantic" gesture that the guy pays for everything. If he expects to split the bill, she figures he's not into her or something.

I asked about this very issue in the "New Beginnings" forum, and the overwhelming consensus from both men and women who responded was that yes, even now, men pay for the dates.

I'm not going to throw my money around on blind dates. But in my circumstances, there's really no other way I can imagine to meet a woman. Looks like I'm staying single.

I'm such an angry bastard right now.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dating:

My first marriage lasted about as long as some of us keep a comfortable pair of underwear, despite the holes (5 years, 7 on paper). BUT, getting back out on the playing field was initially uncomfortable and VERY rediculous.

I ran into other mens cast offs, second had (sometimes 90th time pass down) women, wierdos, psychos, and just freaking wierd women. Some were there for the free food and fun, others were looking for a man "to take care of them".

I posted this a while back in new beginnings, but for humors sake I will post it again here.

Had a buddy who was trying forever to set me up with this gal. I was 11 months out from filing with xWW, and stayed away from women in general. He kept hounding me, and finally convinced me to take her out. "She's perfect for you. Here's her picture and phone number, take her out for coffee. Its JUST coffee. What do you have to lose?"

Right....(some friends are just well intentioned assclowns)

So I called her and agreed to meet her at a coffee shop. I walked through the door and immediately knew I'd been set up. Becuase NOWHERE in the crowd was there ANYTHING that looked like the picture....

Except....

Something from the black lagoon that MAYBE resembled the picture 10 years and 40 pounds ago.....

I was about to turn and split when she spotted me. I told myself "fuck it, its only coffee. You're not sitting around your apartment, make small talk and then split in 20 minutes."

I sat down, and ordered some coffee, making small talk. About five minutes into a no where conversation she busts out with "So, do you ever have those little things about other people that just REALLY turn you on?"

I choked on my coffee a little bit, with the red flags and whistles blaring in my head..."umm, no, I dont know what the hell you're talking about..."

"Oh, Come on, you know. Those little things..."

"Sure, I mean, I guess..." I picked up my coffee and was in mid gulp planning my exit when her reply came....


"Mine's receding hairlines!"

I choked and spit my fucking coffee all over her, the person and the next table and I think the wall. I tipped my chair over and RAN the hell out of there.

And that, gentlemen, is why Razor may be on to something. Prostitution may be the way to go....its cheaper and less traumatizing than THAT


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Razor,

My mother was one of these women who strung a guy along, in this case for over a year. He kept taking her to nice restaurants, often several times a week. He looked like Santa Claus, and my mother told me she was not at all physically attracted to him. I got pissed at her and told her she was using him. She responded that no, they were both having a lovely time at these dates. Finally, he ended up telling her that he couldn't wait any longer for her to make a commitment, and dumped her.

My mother was also an OW. I got pissed at her for that, too. Told her that he was scum, and that she was scum for being with him. She gave me all this stupid BS back about how it's OK for him to love two people.

Entitlement. Sucks.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my experience, I have yet to meet too many single women who dont take atvantage of a man through finances or gifts.

There is an expectation that they can wave sex in front of you and have their way. Its manipulation plain and simple.

Not saying that there arent good women out there. I just havent met any that havent used this age old ploy to their own end....


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurting,

About that coffee shop date, that's hilarious, and weird, and really scary.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 5:27 PM, December 13th (Monday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Makes the WW look better and better...


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
longsadstory1952
♂ Member
Member # 29048
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Man, these last posts, so depressing. Had to laugh anyway. BTW, you do realize women say the same about us, instead of gift insert the work sex.

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jul 2010
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LongSadStory,

You're implying that women don't want sex. Maybe they don't. I've often wondered about that...

ETA: well, I've wondered about that when it comes "normal" women. My WX wanted sex with anything that walked and talked, but not so much with me when she was on her cheating rampage.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 6:23 PM, December 13th (Monday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder what the penalty is for the MAN who cheats with another mans wife?

He should be afraid. He should be very afraid. (so should she of course, by default. By definition.)

My fantasies of controlling things have been shattered, and I do not think it pays for me to dwell there anymore.
Not that I don't.

It's more like wrestling a plow past a rock. The end of the row and planting the taters - I want to matter more. Plow on.

The hypergamous hitch in the plow handles is held
by stronger hands now, plow on.


Posts: 6030 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Deleted. Forever gone.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 7:35 PM, December 13th (Monday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, December 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh once!
Don't mind me.
I was out holding my fist up to the moon and Jupiter,
to determine 10 degrees (and awaiting the Geminids)
when all of a sudden, all the wimmenz from the neighborhood came out and wanted to know why I was so angry.
Do you know when the next shower is?

Posts: 6030 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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