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Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men-Part 6 (Men only)
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My son is 19 and getting married on Feb 12th, to a young lady he met on the internet. Apparently he didn't learn a damn thing while living under my roof. I grieve for him and fear for his future.

Must be kinda like watching a car wreck in slo-motion, huh?

I got a buddy from school I saw last week, his fWW sleeps w/his 11 y/o son instead of him. WTF? Why do women replace the H with their son?


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny about where we gain wisdom in life.

A neighbor (whom I didnt really like much) tell me one time that women are allways looking for the BBD. Where BBD is Bigger Better Deal. In he opinion women will stay with us as long as we are the best deal they can get. But if a better deal come along. Its *so long* to us.

The odd thing about this is. Neighbor tell me this DURING me WW LTA. I had been gone on business. Later after Dday I was to find that OM had visited our home for near a week while I was away. Very likely this neighbor saw what was going on.

When I came back from business. Neighbor approach me while I was working in the garden. And he tell me about the BBD.

I wonder now if he was trying to tell me of the LTA. Eh. Who knows.

But I now see much truth in the women allways looking for the BBD thing.

Another thing.

After allot of reading of far fetched ideas when I was a lad. I came to the conclusion that *of every thing I believe. the opposite is allmost allways the truth.*

Consider the popular stereotypes of male and female.

Men are commercial. Control money.

Women are artistic. Craft like. Creative.

Yet... Women control 80% of the worlds wealth.
Consider also all the great artists. writers. poets. philosophers. Even chefs. These were most all Men.

So I wonder at times if women even have the capability to love. Perhaps they version of it is entirely base on commerce. The BBD.

All that said. If I ever D or S from WW. I will use prostitutes as needed. I now consider this the most HONEST relationship you can have with a woman.

Razor

[This message edited by Razor at 11:06 AM, December 1st (Wednesday)]


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3088 | Registered: Sep 2007
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will use prostitutes as needed.

I have one friend who says if prostition was legal, there would be no marriage for most guys. I tend to agree w/him now.

At one time i actually bought into the "team" shit, "us agin the world" version of M-man was I stupid, I just simply cannot believe how utterly stupid I was-& I am normally a fairly bright guy.

Now I know for a fact(I got to actually hear my WW talking to her OMM) I am just the guy until the BBD comes along. Too bad her fuck buddy wouldn't leave half his shit for her


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
mkgit
♂ New Member
Member # 30208
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I found was that I really just ran out of steam emotionally and physically

WB, that is exactly what i'm suffering from now. fortunately i took a lot of the good SI advice and took exercise and focused a lot on my kids being happy. there was a moment yesterday when fortunately i bit my tongue. i really wanted to ask her "was it really WORTH IT? you've FK up 9 years of marriage, with three beautiful, healthy children (one 5 months old) all for what? so you can play soap opera?" REALLY??!!! and it will never be the same even if we manage to keep this sh+t/ship afloat.

Kite: you can only do what you can. ease your conscience, tell him to go in with open eyes. that's it.


Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2010
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remember boys, if it has tits or tires, it will cost you money and cause you grief.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will use prostitutes as needed.

A wise man once said, "There are three things I'll never pay for--sex, air, and water." Went to a prostitute once in 1980 at the Mustang Ranch in Nevada. As I lay on the bed waiting for her, she turned on a tape player and the song "Sympathy For the Devil" played. True story. Those were the days before safe sex and condoms. Talk about dodging a bullet.

Kite: you can only do what you can. ease your conscience, tell him to go in with open eyes. that's it.

He came home for a week a couple of months ago. While he was here, his girlfriend broke up with him on the phone. He's due to arrive for two-weeks on Dec. 17th. Maybe the same thing will happen and this time it will stick. Don't want to be a meddling parent but my gut is in knots just thinking about his future with a woman he barely knows.

Remember boys, if it has tits or tires, it will cost you money and cause you grief.

I've left a few cars smoking by the side of the road but never had the desire to get even with one.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remember boys, if it has tits or tires, it will cost you money and cause you grief.


Makes you almost understand why so many men in S.F. are Gay....


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm many hours behind such a chatty bunch! but

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=14226

hope it works! now where was i?


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lol. Here I am, thinking of a pefume name...

PONG

(for her and for him)


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and I now have two dogs hnl!
Good for me
they're both bitches.

Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and just dayum!
A neighbor (whom I didnt really like much) tell me one time that women are allways looking for the BBD. Where BBD is Bigger Better Deal.

All together now, can we say hy Per gami brothers!

dam that whole post is awesome!
you guys!


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ESPECIALLY!
I came to the conclusion that *of every thing I believe. the opposite is almost always the truth.*

and what a danged place to be in!
I decided
where I was
WAS the real place.

So that eventually, what ever THEY believed in was false.
(not EVERY they of course).
Still, it humors me see? Cuz it's on them!
to be real
like me
like us
see?


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While he was here, his girlfriend broke up with him on the phone.

Finally caught up!
So, I think, whatever inhibits you from bonding with your children, better get over it while you can. Bond away. I just said something to a sister along those lines. Aint nothin any WS has
that can EVER change that

He's due to arrive

Get busy. Planning ways to bond. Get him involved. RELATE. Share your wisdom and what you've learned.

It IS the best you have to give, truly. this
time-thing.

(from one who's lost most of his btw)


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
GeauxTigers
♂ Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mr. Kite - the safest and best relationship/marriage is where both partners know without a shadow of a doubt that they can live just fine without the other one.

This is the point I would LOVE to reach. I'm there, but I'm not sure she is. So I wonder why she's here. For love or security? You know the drill.

As for Christmas, I think souls are 2-for-1 at Target this week. Just a thought for some of you out there...

Edited: punctuation

[This message edited by GeauxTigers at 8:45 PM, December 1st (Wednesday)]


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, December 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NOt sure why mine is here either...even MC says she has no empathy


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
lostcause111
♂ Member
Member # 19109
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, December 2nd (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I dont know but sometimes I think in our desires to save our families we make it too easy.

My goal this christams is to throw some chaos into the mix.

IIf things stay how they are to me all fucked up its just a matter of time till it ends anyway.


Posts: 934 | Registered: Apr 2008
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, December 2nd (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder constantly why she is still here-maybe her mom dying right after her A made something change in her head, I dunno.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, December 2nd (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There an unhealthy element in mine...If I were to make an honest assessment it would boild down to the following:
1) She's insecure, and a D leaves her exposed to a new unknown
2) She's here for financial security (though I have trouble understanding this one)
3) If we D, it re-affirms her own view of herself and reinforces low self esteem.

So, none of these reasons really add up to wanting to stay, or truly feeling any remorse or love for me. Rather, they are more in line with why she shouldnt go.....


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
mkgit
♂ New Member
Member # 30208
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, December 2nd (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure if this is permitted

can anyone reccomend a Father "friendly" divorce attorney or website for the DC area (really VA)? i'm not sure if SI rules prohibit this kind of information being passed.

more logistics questions since this is all new to me. 1.) how do you see and pay for an attorney without your WW knowing? only option i can think of now is paying in cash, at least for the time being. 2.) what's the first attorney-client meeting like and what if anything should I bring with me? I have copies of the emails btw WW & OM. do i need bank account information, salaries,etc? just want to make the most of the time i have with lawyer

I'm really at a loss here so appreciate any tips or advice.

tks


Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2010
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, December 2nd (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would recommend going on your county court website and downloading the Asset Division forms, and spend some time filling out those forms first.

Gather your salary information, and her's, and bring them along with the forms. A good lawyer should be able to take it from there and give you a rough idea of where you stand.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
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