Some of the WS's even sound like nuns!
I resemble that remark.
Edit: oops! Read it as BS instead of WS. Dumbass! The pic is still funny.
[This message edited by Mr. Kite at 3:37 PM, November 16th (Tuesday)]
It's just more useful to me to see it otherwise. I've been manipulated by the right words in the past, though, and this is just one of those cases where it makes more sense to look at the herd behavior and expect that than look at what might be an exception and call that normal.
"Our case is different from the rest" just too often seems to be a recipe for disillusionment.
If I assume the worst case scenario, then I don't lose anything, nor am I unprepared when it turns out to be true.
I used to think it was a curse that she turned me into an untrusting, cold hearted, prick, but now it seems to be useful, and not as bad as I thought.
Like you, I've found it's quite handy. WW will come home crying abt her job, & I respond w/"You hungry? What do we have?"
I'm thinking about getting a new tat; A heart made of bricks on my chest that reads " Break This One, Bitch"
This is how I feel around my wife... Thing is, it doesn’t really matter if she’s the sweetest best wife ever now or even what she’s thinking; she turned on me once. That switch got flipped, and no matter what, I’ll have snapshots and scars too. The “why” or how she felt about it doesn’t affect me and how I see her as much as just knowing she could turn on me. I can’t perceive ever being blind enough that I feel there isn’t a threat to me residing in her. It is just how it is now. All she can do at this point is reduce the threat level... she can’t remove herself as a potential threat.
Can we by chance get a package deal?
I am trying to do all of this while not losing one of the few things I liked about myself. It is a tough call.
I do know this, it isn't working as well as the cold hearted side would. I am now just frustrated at everything and have lost so much of my patience in life. So now where do I go.
If my heart is made of bricks, it will be me that breaks it.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. And when all hope is gone, you're still prepared.
I did prepare for the worst... and I got the worst. In hindsight, funny thing happened though. With an excellent new beginning and a wonderful SO, I should of in reality been preparing for the best!
Thus the reason I am not an advocate for "staying for the kids". I have my wonderful new beginning AND I have my 14yo DD full-time! She is making my hair turn gray but I am loving every minute of it.
Happiness has a way of weaseling its way back into one's life.
I am still working on R myself... she has been doing pretty much everything right but I have my own struggles with dealing with the trauma.
Mostly just wanted to drop a message in hear and add to the chorus of guys... whether you choose to D or R, it's a tough road and we're on it with you. Know that it DOES get better, even if some days still suck like you never thought possible before all this.
Take it slow, don't try to fix everything at once and go easy on yourselves!
SPOT ON BROTHER
but then again i no longer have to live with or maintain a day to day relationship with my WW.
I am well on the way to detaching, actually the speed with which my feelings are moving has been picking up speed almost like a snowball... I simply no longer care about lots of stuff related to her and her life. Im not completely there yet, and i still carry resentment about the damage done to my kids, and my financial situation, but her Infidelity... or that she used me, took me for granted, and treated me like shit, is no longer such a heavy burdon.
I think rather than becoming cold hearted, her and her needs will be placed way down on my list of priorities.
Perhapes ive mis-interpreted what is meant in the earlier posts, but Im trying to let go of the spite, the desire for revenge, the desire to see her experience hurt like i did. The need to demonstrate my distaste by how i treat her.
I dont believe that ill ever completely not care about her, after all she will allways be the mother of my children. She will allways be the woman that i spent a large chunk of my life with, whom i shared my hopes and dreams with.... she had enough positives about her that i choose to love her, to marry her.
Actually Guys, I think im doing OK... I feels kinda weird sitting here writing this and really knowing that im doing OK... that ill be fine.
Don't get me wrong guys, I'm not predjudice, I'm cold and bitter to the whole fucking world, now. No one is above my ire. I plan on being that old, crotchety, beligerent, old man that yells at all the kids, and keeps their Frisbee's that land in his yard. It's not all her fault, I've been shit on by lots of people, but I still like me, and I am the only one I need to like at the end of the day.