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My husband and I have talked and decided to see a MC. I am wondering now...if it would be too much too fast if I asked him if he wanted to hang out this weekend.

We have been separated for two months. We saw each other this weekend for a big family event and spent time together. It was really good quality time together and made me miss "us." He even called me a pet name that he used to always call me. *sigh* What do you all think?

He is your husband. If you want to stay together, you need to spend time together. That's how the trust is rebuilt. Our MC always says before we leave "try to have some fun together."

Personally I think having boundaries is the key here. Do you know what you need from him in order to feel ready to commit to R? R is hard work, sweeping stuff under the rug or minimzing issues isn't a good foundation for R. I know I needed total transparency, I needed a commitment to me and the marriage and willingness to end contact with the women. I think spending time together is definitely part of R but not if he's hiding things from you or asking you to not talk about the issues that only postpones the hard parts.

Make sure you know what you need in order to feel safe and loved in your marriage and ask him if he's willing to do that work? If he's not, i don't see the point in spending time together it's just pretend.

I personally don't think a marriage can be saved unless you are together to work it out. You need to deal with the issues and you need to confront the affair, yes, but you also need to have fun and reconnect so that you are able to repair the marriage. The fun, openness, intimacy creates a safe place to be able to communicate and let out the pain and hurt. That is how you heal. Yes, you have to deal with the issues and the affair, but I those things take time and in my opinion, the longer you are apart, the harder it is to come together and repair.

Just my two cents.

I am in no way to sweep it under the rug, but I do think to work through it you need the time together, too. Go and do something fun and be together. Then when the moment is right, sit and hold each other and talk and get it out. If he loves you and is remorseful, he will hold you and help you and the connection will help you both through it.

What do you all think?

As long as he is NC with the OW, then go for it.

It's your life, do what makes you happy. Remember to have patience. You don't need to be in a hurry to make any big decisions about the relationship. Let him hang out and just be honest with each other. Listen to him carefully and see where he is coming from. Don't have any preconceived notions from the past. Just get to know him all over again, as if you barely knew each other.