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We are going through boxes of old stuff. Boxes that you bring with you but it can be years before you look in them again. It takes awhile because it's easy to get caught up in the 'oooh, look at DS's first day of kgn!' moments.

So, we're going through this box that is old and musty and dusty and LD takes from the box an old onesie and puts it directly into the garbage bag. I quickly took it right out and he said, 'and why are we keeping that?' and I said, 'That's the onesie that DS came home from the hospital in!' and he said, 'it's been in this disgusting old box for 21 years, you didn't even know it was here'. I said, 'I cannot throw this out!'

At what point do you throw stuff out or does it just stay in these boxes forever?

I can't part with certain things.

saving "firsts" is okay to me. now, saving every outfit she ever wore...nope.

we keep a container for each kid that has a lot of their "firsts" and special momentos from their child hood. when they grow up and settle, they get to take them (and store them in their own dusty basement ).

when I get that hair in my ass to clean out storage spaces and such, I do the whole "awwwww, look!" and "*sniff sniff* I remember this..." too. usually takes forever to go through just one box cause I have to go down memory lane....

being realistic to what you keep and what you toss is key for me. is it in the way? does it serve a purpose? can I display it? can I use it? is this something that my kids would want to have one day? fortunately (or unfortunately?) as a kid, we moved about once a year, so I didn't get to keep a lot of *stuff*, so now, I'm kinda particular about what I keep as sentimental keepsakes. I don't have a lot, but what I do have means the world to me. other *stuff* is easy for me to get rid of.

mr unfound on the other hand .....I think he'd keep lint from his bellybutton

I have both my children's first outfits like that.

Along with their little hats they wore in the hospital.

I also have an entire file cabinet full of school papers, report cards and artwork.

My mother is a borderline hoarder and I think growing up in that environment made me the complete opposite. My mom still has canceled checks from 1950!

When I was in the marital home I had tons of storage space and saved things (in an organized manner) that I probably wouldn't have otherwise. I just happened to have the space for it, so it wasn't a big deal.

After my D and my move to another house, I got rid of TONS of stuff. The kids' papers and artwork from pre-K onwards, most of their baby clothes, old toys, cards, letters, etc.

Shortly after I moved my father died and I "inherited" a lot of his stuff. Right now it's sitting in boxes in my garage, but eventually I'll get rid of that too. He saved pictures, cards, letters, military memorabilia, that I absolutely have no interest in. It's kind of sad because obviously it meant something to HIM, but I don't even know the people in the pictures.

When my mother passes away, it'll be a nightmare going through her things. I try to keep that in mind when I declutter my own home. I never want my kids to be burdened with that.

I also "inherited" stuff from my parents...my older brothers told me to go to San Francisco and give it all away or toss it out in a dumpster!

I can never give away my deceased son's things...just can't and won't.

Its so difficult because I can't really go through it, but I cannot let it go...

However, I'm sorting the stuff with instructions on where its to go when its "time".

Hopefully, it will make others happy or/and it can be auctioned off for various good causes.

unfound - my STBXH is such a hoarder that he did keep the lint from his belly button. Yep I'm not kidding, a lot of that stuff is getting tossed this very moment. I've also thrown away styrofoam cups that he had painted with glo-in-the-dark paint along with a saved biscuit from Thanksgiving dinners also painted. This is how his time was spent. He was proud of it and no I do not believe he's a mental case. He's actually a genius. What a waste!

grace

Awww dreamlife. I think that is perfectly fine. I don't think I could part with my children's things under those circumstances either.

Something I learned that does help me part with stuff because I could keep everything if I didn't actively think about it.

If it's something special, then it should be honored.

Not tossed in a musty box and hidden away. You don't forget someone or special events because you don't have something physical to touch from them.

As far as your son's onsie, perhaps put together a memory box for each child. Small enough that you could run out of a house on fire with it. Small enough that when you are gone, they can carry it from place to place themself. Or create a shadow box with special baby items as a display. Or take pictures of the items, put them in a scrapbook and write out the memory.

Doesn't mean I don't have some clutter of my own, I DO! But it keeps me out of hoarder territory.

[This message edited by Pentup at 12:16 PM, September 6th (Monday)]

I agree with unfound's and Pentup's suggestions of limiting what you save (for each child) to ONE box each. I also did that. And like the others, I also plan on passing it on to my kids to store once they have their own place.

It brings me joy and makes me feel virtuous to toss things out.

I like new things. I don't like old things. I get sick of possessions really, really quickly.

I hate clutter. I HATE it.

"I want it!" and "I can't get rid of it." are both BS in my mind. Yes, some of us have memtos of people that we love. I have my grandfather's dog tag and a few old photos.

My husband, however, has his grandfather's old ties, old jackets (that don't fit him), tons of worthless brick-a-brack, that he 'can't part with.' So, it takes up space. I've gotten to a point that if it's his crap, I literally just dump it on his side of the closet. I won't sort it, clean it, or maintain it. If it's so important to him, he should do that.

I'm even more annoyed now by the fact that since his parents have moved, he goes to visit them in their new house and every time, he literally brings home a box of garbage - a literal box of garbage. I ask what it was, and it's his old papers from third grade - ALL of them (they never threw out his old work). He doesn't want to get rid of those because 'he did good work then." He literally hasn't set eyes on this stuff in 20+ years.

My sentiment, if it has value - use it. If you don't use it or display it somehow, then it doesn't have value - toss it or donate it.

Wow. hurtbs goes NC with clutter! I love it!

Omg. Hurtbs, sounds like our in-laws both went to "how to drive your DIL crazy" school. EXACT same thing here. Both my FIL and my H have hoarding tendencies. It's a struggle we've had for a while.

About three years ago my in-laws came to visit. My FIL brought several bags of old newspapers and magazines. I said something to the effect od "we really don't need this here". He hasn't talked to me since.

He also once gave my husband a lot of his old clothes. My H is about five eight. His dad is around six four. WTH??? I honestly think it is easier for him than throwing it out.

I like the idea of one (or two?) boxes for each kid's stuff. I am guilty of having random things in different boxes with no organization whatsoever.

My goal is (and I'm putting this in writing so you all have to hold me to it ) when we move in, to go through the boxes and put them in boxes of stuff that belongs together, labelled and everything!

Lofty goals, we shall see

All I can say is some shit best be nailed down because I will practically go to *your house* and start garbaging.

I'm terrible - I throw it all away... then miss it later.

I haven't saved hardly any of DS's school stuff. Not a clue where his onesie is from the hospital...

I'm just no good about that stuff.

It all goes!

I found an autobiography that wrote in 6th grade! I found LD's baby book! I found the kids' beanie baby collection from when they were little. I found every trophy that they got from every sport they played.

So much stuff. We threw away the trophies. We were actually pretty good-threw away a lot, but kept a lot, too.

i tend to hoard then purge, when i'm moving, which has been frequently, i purge a lot... day to day i don't keep up with it...

but it doesn't bother me to let go of it when push comes to shove...

i think i'm a lazy version of ladyv

H is a hoarder type... he loves stuff, buying stuff having stuff, owning stuff... i really don't have a stuff thing

other than being irritated at where to put his stuff

LD is a 'thrower outer'. He will never live down the time when the kids were little and we had a box of Disney videos that we stored but the kids would want to go into it every once in awhile and watch one of the old classics.

So one day we were looking for it and LD said, 'Oh, that? I threw that box away'. The kids were horrified! There went our Pinocchio, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin... I still don't think they're over it

The therapy's helping, though

i think i'm a lazy version of ladyv

What a coincidence, so am I.