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Newest Member: Mysurvival (43128)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 5
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to the sticks, FoF.

I stayed out of the Fight Club thread, because of where it was headed. Your way safer down here.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FoF, you don't have to read all 27 pages. I can sum it up-my WW cheated, she still feels entitled, I've checked out of M, screw her. Once the kids are grown, we will wander the world.

that's pretty much the BH story


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not all of us 64. As you can see FoF, there may be more then a few BH's here. A lot of hard feelings are worked through down here. 64 is pretty much the norm, some of us have R'd, but we're outnumbered for sure. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is, we all have BTDT.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Zombie wrote : You were wearing yours while you were screwing prince charming at a motel, so they obviously didnt mean shit to you then but now our marriage is sacred territory?

64 wrote:
i get the same shit, zombieman, WW even bought me another band, she wears it as well as my old band. Never will another ring haunt my finger.

During LTA me WW give me a new band. Actually we bought matching new bands together to celebrate our 20 M anniv. All the while she and OM were fucking each other like rabbits.

I dont wear a ring anymore either. Thing is. I was real proud of being M to me WW (before Dday). I took pride in me wedding ring. So it hurt that it became such a trigger. Trigger wearing it was worse than trigger of not wearing it tho. So I dont wear it.

And welcome to FoF.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3044 | Registered: Sep 2007
FatherofFour
♂ Member
Member # 24263
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Iíve a friend whoís going through a divorce right now too. She keeps telling me ďdonít worry, youíll find someone else.Ē Maybe I will, maybe I wonít. But right now Ė I donít want anyone else. I donít want my XW anymore either (which is a big relief). Right now, I want to be alone. For more than half my life I defined myself as her boyfriend, her fiancťe, her husband. Itís time to figure out who I am. Plus, my kids are young and their mom has now found The Love of Her Life (TLOHL (she started up with him after she asked for a divorce, so technically, heís not an OM I guess)), so theyíll have enough to deal with through her.

So, while I appreciate the sentiment, right now all I want to do is raise my kids, spend time with my friends, write a little, lift weights, and box. I donít need a woman in my life.

Funny that most folks seem to assume that if you want to be alone, there must be something wrong with you.


Posts: 2767 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: MN
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome FoF....

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FoF.

The only thing *wrong* about you is that you are saner than most.

If me and WW D there is no way I would consider another relationship. A couple pages back we were talking about the path our lifes would take were we to D (and supposing the kids are grown or out of the picture). I didnt see any of us post that we would be on the prowl for a replacement. Instead travel seemed to be a common theme.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3044 | Registered: Sep 2007
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothin wrong with a little "ME" time.


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
oftenwrong
♂ Member
Member # 27822
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sex and being completely desired has brought a peace to me that I have not had in a very long time.

I needed to wait for engaging physically in another for my own healing. Once I knew I was ready, I did not wait for another minute.


ME - BSO (35 yrs old)
Her - XWSO (31 yrs old)
LTR 10 years - There can be no 2nd chances


Posts: 995 | Registered: Mar 2010
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"EA" is bullshit. An EA is called a gay male friend. I could give a fuck that she confided her "troubles" to another man. When she spread her legs or opened her mouth it became problematic.

Whoever it was who made the bet that I'd be the first one to say this in this tread owes me twenty bucks.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

like Razor, I wore my ring proudly, as I was proud to be married-now I am ashamed to be married...

I think I was one of two mechanics in the whole shop who wore a wedding band. The rest of the guys were M'd also, but did not wear bands.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I havent really given a fuck for a little over a week now, and my next ex wife noticed, and bitched about it. She got back into town late Saturday night and I left this morning. We're getting good at the kids hand off, which is goood practice for her....

Anyways, she started in on the how much she loved me and missed me shit, and I guess the "whatever" shit was oozing out of my pores. She got upset, then mood swung 101 the other way to how much she loved me again, and how glad she was that I am reconcling with her. I told her point blank I dont believe she's reconciling, she's sweeping shit under the rug and I'm not sticking around for it. She started in with the whole "I'll do whatever it takes line" and started kissing me (nice manipulation move).

So I busted out with the biggest fuckin box of condoms you've ever seen, and she gets pissed and walks out of the room. She's still pissed about it....

Are they ALL the same woman??? Denial Denial Denial Denial Manipulation Manipulation Manipulation


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, August 23rd (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Razor and 64fleet -

I still wear my ring, despite the wife. She may not understand what marriage and committment are, but I do. I will wear it til the end too, not for her, but for me. I have enough self respect for that.


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my ring off when my STBXW said to me that she wanted the D that it was not up for discussion.

It was bloody weird walking out of the house without it on, I had never not worn it.

over the last 2 months ive stopped trying to 'play' with it.... i used to tap it on stair bannisters, or spin it around my finger with my thumb quite often.... havent caught myself miming the same action in quite a few weeks now.

Still have the dent on my finger though, and the skin that was under the ring is still visibly different to the rest....

you can take a ring off but there are still traces of it left behind.

ps welcome FoF, 27 pages... nah we already have what is it 4 full 50 page threads ... the thing is its just an ongoing conversation, just jump in whenever you want, there is no requirement to backread all the previous posts.


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SCD: Still have the dent on my finger though, and the skin that was under the ring is still visibly different to the rest....

That will go away after awhile. I wore mine for over 30 years. I wore it even after Dday#1. But when Dday#2 happened I realized the promise that she made which it represented was lost and forgotten. It was null and void. So I just took it off. I am not even sure where my ring is now. Probably put away some place. Who knows. May be WW has it.

Now tho my hand and ring finger look just as they did before M. So your hand it will heal much quicker than you heart.

SCD:you can take a ring off but there are still traces of it left behind.

Yeh. Just like the ghosts of relationships lost. These women leave they marks on us. Scars mostly. Some good marks like good memories. Times long gone. Mostly scars tho.

May be I was to quick to trust. To quick to be beguiled by a pretty face and a soft voice. To quick to believe what I hoped was true. May be now I have finally learnt me lesson. I hope so.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3044 | Registered: Sep 2007
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I dunno about ya'll's ceremony, but the minister said at ours that my ring stood for her promise to me, her ring represents MY promise to her.

well, she broke her promise=no more ring

It is my self respect issue-how can I respect myself, wearing a broken promise?

she simply wears hers 'cause its pretty.

it took about a year before the ring mark/dent went away.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

she simply wears hers 'cause its pretty.

Every day I am more convinced that 64 and me are married to the same woman.

Its all about jewelry. Shiny objects.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3044 | Registered: Sep 2007
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ya musta been married to mine then too. They're all the same damn woman


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
FatherofFour
♂ Member
Member # 24263
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I start training at a new gym tomorrow. For now, I will be taking a couple of boxing classes on Monday nights (Wednesday for this week only) and then sparring e/o Saturday.

The coaches I will be working with are fantastic, and I am really looking forward to this opportunity.

Goal is to box in some sort of organized event by the time I am 40 (gives me about 18 months).


Posts: 2767 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: MN
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, August 24th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FatherofFour - Congrats! Sounds like fun. I love boxing, I used to box up until I joined the Army. Now I'm a fat slob engaged in a battle of wills with the treadmill.....treadmill 3 - 0 (2 tko's). But I'm not done yet!


holding out hope
UPDATE: Hope's Dead

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: CO
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