Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: PhoenixWife (43212)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 5
awakening1
♂ Member
Member # 27360
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 16th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i best get a refresh on my sleeping tablet prescription if i am to have any wits left about me in the next few days.

Me too. Took my last Ambien about a week ago, and the last few nights have been rough.

Hang in there, brothers.


Me: BH, 43
Her: WW, 41
Kids: 2 (9 and 6)
D-Day: 11/21/09. WW tried to bust up another marriage, but got dumped. OM/St. MF apparently wasn't so saintly after all.
Drafted S papers in 1/10. Filed in 1/12. Court date set for 1/13.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Northern VA
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, June 16th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remorse (as defined by me admittedly!) includes willingness to change.
Which one of us, if being a WS, would not have crawled over broken glass to 'make it right' (aka change)?

There is understandable confusion about the difference btwn remorse and regret.
Regret is really only concerned about consequences to themselves.
Remorse is concerned about others.

Hungry for crumbs, we often mistake regret for remorse.

If roles were reversed. Walking thru fire. Crawling thru broken glass. All those would have been done. I would have done every thing and more to repair the damage I did. I would have talked and talked and talked however much she needed. I would have done MC and IC. I would not have buried it. Probably most of us are the same.

IMHO the key to true remorse is empathy. And while it is not possible to have complete empathy for another. It is certainly possible to work at it and try to understand and feel what the other is feeling.

To have empathy is to get the scope of the wrong you did and the scope of the pain you have caused by you actions or decisions. You must work to truly feel the pain of the other. We may not truly experience the agony of Sisphus. But we can at least use our imagination and feel the hopelessness of his struggle.

Yet me WW will not *go there*. She will not imagine this and even attempt empathy. Perhaps she has her own burdens to carry and hides them well. I dunno.

I am still M to me WW. And it will probably stay that way. I am to old to start a new life. I am in retirement and splitting assets now would cause allot of trouble for us both.

So I say that it is possible to subsist on crumbs (regret). And with time I have learnt that it is enuf to find what ever pleasure I can in what pleases me. It is not a beautiful existence. It is not what I deserve. But it can be enuf to get by on.

Razor


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
awakening1
♂ Member
Member # 27360
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, June 16th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMHO the key to true remorse is empathy. And while it is not possible to have complete empathy for another. It is certainly possible to work at it and try to understand and feel what the other is feeling.

To have empathy is to get the scope of the wrong you did and the scope of the pain you have caused by you actions or decisions. You must work to truly feel the pain of the other. We may not truly experience the agony of Sisphus. But we can at least use our imagination and feel the hopelessness of his struggle.

Yet me WW will not *go there*. She will not imagine this and even attempt empathy. Perhaps she has her own burdens to carry and hides them well. I dunno.

Narcissists don't do empathy well. Many WW have narcissistic qualities. My WW is somewhere on that spectrum, but I'm not sure she is far enough that trying to R with her is hopeless. Hard to tell.

So I say that it is possible to subsist on crumbs (regret). And with time I have learnt that it is enuf to find what ever pleasure I can in what pleases me. It is not a beautiful existence. It is not what I deserve. But it can be enuf to get by on.

I've been taking crumbs for months now, but I'm not sure how much longer I can subsist. I'm not too old to start over, but I don't want to start without my kids full time.


Me: BH, 43
Her: WW, 41
Kids: 2 (9 and 6)
D-Day: 11/21/09. WW tried to bust up another marriage, but got dumped. OM/St. MF apparently wasn't so saintly after all.
Drafted S papers in 1/10. Filed in 1/12. Court date set for 1/13.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Northern VA
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, June 16th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not too old to start over, but I don't want to start without my kids full time.

same here-sux don't it?


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, June 16th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. I got yer empathy, right here!

Posts: 6015 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yet me WW will not *go there*. She will not imagine this and even attempt empathy. Perhaps she has her own burdens to carry and hides them well. I dunno.

Perhapes here is where the truth lies, It does not seem unreasonable to me to imagine that many of our WW's already carry their own significant burdon, be it fear of abandonment that the negate by keeping everyone at a distance, low self esteme that they appease by seeking external validation, Histories of abuse that skew their concept of a normal relationship, a history of being controlled that they rebel against by acting willfully, or any of the other themes that we see here.

Is it perhapes that with those existing burdons that they are simply unable to take on any more, that they are not able to feel empathy at the level that a BH desires because to do so would be to completely crush them under the weight of their own history, past and recent.

Heck i know i have my own demons to deal with and that they affect the people around me. But i am fighting against them, i am willing to accept that they do inflict hurt and pain sometimes on those i love.... perhapes the simple difference is that my demons are little and there is still plenty more carrying capacity on my shoulders, and my FWW's demons are larger and there is only limited additional capacity.

I could start over, heck there are plenty of men, that havent even started a family yet at my age. But i dont want to.. not at the moment.

For the momment my FWW seems to have taken a small step back from the D, she still wants a seperation, now i guess the ball lies with me, and i have to decide what i want... advice i readily give to those in JFO.. now i just have to follow my own advice.

I think i see a fork in the road ahead, and ill need to decide which path to take.


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
Lotsa
♂ Member
Member # 28078
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct - Remorse (as defined by me admittedly!) includes willingness to change.

Razor - IMHO the key to true remorse is empathy. And while it is not possible to have complete empathy for another. It is certainly possible to work at it and try to understand and feel what the other is feeling.

I think that the 2 concepts of "willingness to change" and "empathy", walk hand in hand with remorse. IMO, a genuine willingness to change can only occur when you can truly empathise and "get the scope of the wrong you did and the scope of the pain you have caused by you actions or decisions".

In my sitch, my WS says she's willing and wants to change, but there is largely an absence of empathy which makes me believe that true change is unachievable in the absence of truly appreciating the scope and impact of the devastation her conduct and choices have caused to me and our relationship (as distinct from the impact solely to her).

SCD...

I think i see a fork in the road ahead, and ill need to decide which path to take.

If your FWW has taken a step back from D, but separation is still going ahead, the time apart will hopefully give you an opportunity to gain a clearer insight in which path you want to take, or what D will look like (even if only from a practical point of view) if your FWW insists on it. Wishing you peace brother...



Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2010
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the time apart will hopefully give you an opportunity to gain a clearer insight in which path you want to take

perhapes...

It would certainly help if the paths wernt all built like a f*cking emscher staircase.

but i think that comes from the crazy that we are put in by our W's

perhapes the real solution is to ignore all the paths that are laid out infront of you by her, and instead head off and forge you own... traveling in the direction you want to go....


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
awakening1
♂ Member
Member # 27360
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

same here-sux don't it?

Like nothing else I have felt before.

with those existing burdons that they are simply unable to take on any more, that they are not able to feel empathy at the level that a BH desires because to do so would be to completely crush them under the weight of their own history, past and recent.

I think this is right. I'm trying to gain enough of an understanding to make sense of what has happened, and could happen. Not so much to assign blame ... indeed, when I focus on blame the anger and sadness rise to the point that crowds out other thoughts. But to feel like I have a proper foundation to make a wise choice going forward.

i know i have my own demons to deal with and that they affect the people around me. But i am fighting against them, i am willing to accept that they do inflict hurt and pain sometimes on those i love.... perhapes the simple difference is that my demons are little and there is still plenty more carrying capacity on my shoulders, and my FWW's demons are larger and there is only limited additional capacity.

I'm with you here too.

Capacity can be limited alos by other life events. WW said to me a few minutes ago that she is in a growth stage. I think that is right, professionally. Three years ago, she was a stay-at-home mom. Now she makes six figures as a management consultant. She might be growing personally too -- I certainly hope so -- but we'll see.

She gets that what she has done has hurt many people she claims to love. It seems to bother her, but it won't drive the decision she ultimately makes.


Me: BH, 43
Her: WW, 41
Kids: 2 (9 and 6)
D-Day: 11/21/09. WW tried to bust up another marriage, but got dumped. OM/St. MF apparently wasn't so saintly after all.
Drafted S papers in 1/10. Filed in 1/12. Court date set for 1/13.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Northern VA
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey SCD,

Sorry your wife pissed all over your efforts to R.

You ask what do you get if you want to R and you give it 100% you 'fight' to save your M, and fail anyway? What you get is the knowledge that you gave it your best effort, you gave it 100%, you didnt hold back and self-sabotage the R. With that knowledge you can walk proudly in front of your friends, your family, and your children. You can go on with your life free from any guilt.

I agree, having put in a real effort to R is a really hard accomplishment. I couldn't do it and wouldn't do it, and so I'm on the divorce path. I would say, however, that you can hold your head high whether or not you try to R, as long as you travel whatever path you choose with some dignity.

That said, I think as betrayed husbands, we are permitted our fair share of undignified moments. We've been thrown into a pit. Getting out is a messy process. We should all give ourselves some slack.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Finallyawake
♂ Member
Member # 21554
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awakening,

I heard some of the same "I am in a growth stage" talk too, but it was followed up with a derogatory comparison to me. I was accused of being stuck in a rut, not changing, working the same old job instead of striking out for greener pastures.

The nonsense inside all of it is that I have, by any measure, a great job. I make a great living, I set my own hours, I work out of the house, and I am well respected in my organization with a track record of significant promotions. Any job I take that makes more money will involve a lot more hours and travel. No thanks. I want to be around with my kids. I am active in my community with interesting hobbies and on and on and on. Am I perfect? Nope. But I had that thrown in my face about how she is growing and I wasn't.

I also have to say that all the shit hit the fan right after she went back to work. From SAHM to a great job in 2 or so years. That was when she convinced herself that she had been held back and it was all my fault. Everyone at work would tell her how great she was and she soaked it up to fill that empty hole in her soul.

It was, of course, all nonsense. But she needed to believe all of it to feel OK about her cheating with a married man.

I'm a little cranked today because I just got a call from a good friend last night. I volunteer with him and he told me he is getting a D. As he explained the reasons it was crystal clear that his W was cheating so I asked. He strongly believes she is but has no hard proof other than the thousands of text messages in his cell phone bill. It just broke my heart to listen knowing what his W was throwing away. And for some loser.

So onward and upward. Someone has their little quote in their profile that is from the Shawshank Redemption. Morgan Freeman's character says, Get busy living or get busy dying.

That is my phrase for every day from now on. I lived the last part of that phrase during the end of my M. Now I am living the first part.


On my own and a better man for it

Posts: 458 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Phoenix
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SCD, this is well stated and explains my current feelings of too little, too late.
Perhapes here is where the truth lies, It does not seem unreasonable to me to imagine that many of our WW's already carry their own significant burdon, be it fear of abandonment that the negate by keeping everyone at a distance, low self esteme that they appease by seeking external validation, Histories of abuse that skew their concept of a normal relationship, a history of being controlled that they rebel against by acting willfully, or any of the other themes that we see here.

Is it perhapes that with those existing burdons that they are simply unable to take on any more, that they are not able to feel empathy at the level that a BH desires because to do so would be to completely crush them under the weight of their own history, past and recent.

So my question, and I presume that for you and many others, is how much of a project do I want to take on? How long do I wait?

I think I see a nice little grassy spot over there on the PLF. Time to pitch my tent, fix a snack and rest a little.

Patience has never been one of my virtues.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
awakening1
♂ Member
Member # 27360
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I heard some of the same "I am in a growth stage" talk too, but it was followed up with a derogatory comparison to me. I was accused of being stuck in a rut, not changing, working the same old job instead of striking out for greener pastures.

The nonsense inside all of it is that I have, by any measure, a great job. I make a great living, I set my own hours, I work out of the house, and I am well respected in my organization with a track record of significant promotions. Any job I take that makes more money will involve a lot more hours and travel. No thanks. I want to be around with my kids. I am active in my community with interesting hobbies and on and on and on. Am I perfect? Nope. But I had that thrown in my face about how she is growing and I wasn't.

Here's what kills me. I have, repeatedly, made professional sacrifices for the stability of our marriage and family. I have a JD/MBA. Left the private firm that was demanding lots of hours and no personal life because I valued, and we valued, something more at home. Despite having an in, didn't interview beyond a happy hour with McKinsey because the travel looked like it would be too much. Came back to the Govt as a lawyer to be able to manage my hours better, coach my kids regularly, and spend more time in their lives. Just finished a detail at the US Attorney's Office, which could have positioned me for something else, but I was too leveled by her activities to take advantage of it.

I also have to say that all the shit hit the fan right after she went back to work. From SAHM to a great job in 2 or so years. That was when she convinced herself that she had been held back and it was all my fault. Everyone at work would tell her how great she was and she soaked it up to fill that empty hole in her soul.

The need for external validation is common here too. She has some opportunities at her firm, but constantly bitches about the demands they put on her. She doesn't know what she wants there either.

Morgan Freeman's character says, Get busy living or get busy dying.

Best part of a great movie. Trying to get to the better side of that fence, but these last few days seem especially tough.


Me: BH, 43
Her: WW, 41
Kids: 2 (9 and 6)
D-Day: 11/21/09. WW tried to bust up another marriage, but got dumped. OM/St. MF apparently wasn't so saintly after all.
Drafted S papers in 1/10. Filed in 1/12. Court date set for 1/13.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Northern VA
lostcause111
♂ Member
Member # 19109
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SCD your comments are on point and mirror what a good frined of mine said.

He said she has to vilianize you. If not with her issues and the relaity of how bad she fucked up would kill her ego.

He is right.

But I have a counterpoint and this to me is where it is at and why I lose all sympathy for my wifes situation. She does not act like a fool to her boss or in public. Only to the people closest to her. Why? She knows better. They would not tolerate it.

That made me ask why do I a few months ago and I take absoluetely no shit and if my actions like taking extra classes or hanging with friends triggers her abandonment fears that is her issue not mine.

As much as I hate to admit it I enabled her to not care because I did not care enough for myself.

I now include myself in my care and she may not like it. may shit test me, may cry and be hurt.

I do not help. Why. I am doing her a favor and allowing her to grow up and learn to deal with life as an adult.

I am doing nothing wrong and using guilt and manipulation against me just does not work anymore.

What this does to her or the M who knows. I am giving her the best thing I can do. Tough love and a chance to become a real partner and not the metally f'd up person she is was.

It is her choice and never was in my control.


Posts: 934 | Registered: Apr 2008
Finallyawake
♂ Member
Member # 21554
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, June 17th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have, repeatedly, made professional sacrifices for the stability of our marriage and family.

Ditto. I did this repeatedly. It drove most of my efforts to get into an area of work that maintained and even enhanced my earnings, but most of all gave me the absolute flexibility to be home when I needed or wanted to. She took this to mean that she could chase any new idea for a career or education. Right back to that capacity thing SCD mentioned. I had the extra capacity to help out. She didn't.

She has some opportunities at her firm, but constantly bitches about the demands they put on her. She doesn't know what she wants there either.

This is actually funny to me. Before we were D she had started working and would come home to complain about everything under the sun regarding her work. I, of course, listened but would then get drilled for not complaining about my work. I didn't have any. Very few people would in my situation. It's work. I had been supporting the family for years and had grown capable enough to deal with it and let it go at 5pm.

So where am I going with this? Just to let on that if you do get D and go onto a new life that doesn't cater to these "Whining suck holes of need" you just wait to see them squirm. Once my now XW figured out that I really had no interest in chit chat or her job and life she became very uncomfortable. Toss in that fact that she found out life was a lot harder than she expected when she had to take care of it all. Add on her getting dumped by the "love of her life".

So now I get treated to her cyclical efforts to try and be so nice to me. To try and engage in conversation. To get that attention back from me. I have no illusions that she wants to be romantically involved. It really even is not about me. It has to do with her pathological need for adoration.

It gets tiring at times, but overall it is a lot better than living with it.


On my own and a better man for it

Posts: 458 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Phoenix
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, June 18th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night was the first night that both of us were in the house together at the same time.

We sat down and talked about what was going to happen.

Right at the start i asked her what she wanted. She said that she does not want to live with me anymore, that she doesnt feel that she can be happy with me ever again. I asked if she wanted to seperate but still try and Reconcile, she said No, Not at the moment. She hasnt herself filed for divource, and when i asked why she said that given the statutory 1 year seperation here that filing could be left for a further 9 months and still result in a D in 1 year. Everything she is saying points that that is what she wants, Im not sure if she didnt file because she doesnt want to be the one to actually do it....

I think i have finally realised that my W doesnt Love me anymore, yes in her own words she still cares about me, but thats not love. In some ways this is good to finally understand, untill last night i still operated under the assumption tha she did love me.

We then had a very constructive discussion about the division of assets, support, and child custody, and care.

At the end I told her what i had decided to do in response.

Yesterday before talking to her i decided that if my W wasnt able to say that she at least wanted to try to R after a period of seperation... that that was her current goal. Then regardless of what she decided to do that i would persue a D. I will continue to follow that outcome, and will not stop unless she says that she wants to try and R... and even then i will only pause the process, that she will have to convince me that this time she really is willing to put in a consistent effort. Somehow i dont really believe that she will want to try again, but I wanted her to know that I intend to leave a door open for her but I am not willing to be left hanging around in limbo land not sure of whats happening, how she is feeling, or wondering what she really wants, that was one of my personal boundaries that i wrote down for myself when this all began, and i feel empowered that i have held to it.

During the Seperation, i will try to maintain a healthy distance from her, Yes we will need to talk to co-ordinate activity with the kids, and to co-ordinate financial matters, but otherwise i intend to follow our infamous 180's guidelines as much as possible. I still care about her, i would even say that I still love her, but right now i need to care about and love myself more than that. Its my hope that if i follow the 180 it will help me to detach from her.

So ... that fork in the road i saw ahead... my wife showed me one path, I choose to take another. Its similar, and probably ends in the same destination, but my path doesnt have low hanging trees, ill be able to walk tall on my path.

Id just like to show my appreciation to all the guys here, thanks for your support durring the last few days, like i said when i first joined and posted in JFO, the support here on SI is phenominal, and it means more to me than i can express in these crude words of mine. I may not allways agree with everyone, but that too is the beaty of a place like SI, that we are expossed to alternative view, alternative ideas. So thankyou.


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:48 AM, June 18th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Edited out my very nice remarks because didn't first read rules of thread about 'men only'.

Really Sorry Mods. (started from end of thread rather than beginning - missed the important rule. Got it now)

ETA: Please, please can someone gallantly bump this ASAP so my stupid mistake is no longer so evident on last post column on forums front page?

[This message edited by Edie at 5:04 AM, June 18th (Friday)]


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Lotsa
♂ Member
Member # 28078
Default  Posted: 5:15 AM, June 18th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped as per request...

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2010
awakening1
♂ Member
Member # 27360
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, June 18th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SCD, stay strong and wise.

Once my now XW figured out that I really had no interest in chit chat or her job and life she became very uncomfortable. Toss in that fact that she found out life was a lot harder than she expected when she had to take care of it all. Add on her getting dumped by the "love of her life".


After some discussion last night, she "revealed" to me that, despite claiming daily contact with St. MF just a week ago, she was not currently in contact with him. Immediately made no promises that this would continue, however.

On the one hand, this helped me keep my anger towards him and her in check. On the other hand, why should I believe anything she is saying in the first place? Short term, it helped me get to sleep last night. I have my doubts about it having the same effect for her, however.


Me: BH, 43
Her: WW, 41
Kids: 2 (9 and 6)
D-Day: 11/21/09. WW tried to bust up another marriage, but got dumped. OM/St. MF apparently wasn't so saintly after all.
Drafted S papers in 1/10. Filed in 1/12. Court date set for 1/13.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Northern VA
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, June 18th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi SCD,

I just read your profile. Wow, your wife was a serial cheater too, and it sounds like she met up with strangers.

Put bluntly, from what I read, you're *much* better off without her.

Sometimes I wonder if our reactions to the cheating affect whether or not our cheating wives want to remain married. You sound like you were very calm, and have expressed a desire to R. I was never like that. I did stay in limbo for months, but I never gave her any reason to believe I was interested in R. My wife desperately wanted to stay married. Now that divorce is imminent, of course I get blamed for the cheating.

There's really no point to this, but I'm just wondering if your wife would have wanted R if you expressed no interest in it, if you pursued divorce right away. Don't get me wrong, personally I don't see R working with someone like your wife, unless she gets some serious, serious help and undergoes a massive personality transformation.

Anyway, my hat's off to you for travelling this shitty road with so much class.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 9:07 AM, June 18th (Friday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.