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User	Topic: Five Languages of Apology
repeatBS326 Member Member # 22068	Posted: 12:50 PM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010 By Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas I don't know how to search for old threads....anyone know one about this book? I am listening to it via audiobook through Audible (Amazon.com). I listened to Five Love Languages in 2008 (pre-Dday#3), trying to figure out how to fix our marriage. I'm wondering, if our old baggage & lackluster apologies for misdeeds are keeping us from true R once & for all. Me/BS:38(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:40; DS:13; DS:10; OW:33; OC:9 Together: 20yrs; Married: 16yrs D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2) D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000 D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008 Posts: 1204 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
repeatBS326 Member Member # 22068	Posted: 9:47 AM, March 18th (Thursday), 2010 Liking it so far. I'm working on listening to Ch. 3. Seems like both fWH & I have done & said things, that we haven't given genuine apologies for. We also have placed blame on each other during apologies, which negates the apology. I liked some info they gave about how "immature" people (like our young kids or adults that never grow up), never take responsiblity for the misdeed they are offering apology. Always blaming others, or even kids blaming inanimate objects(the cup broke itself). Also, sometimes people rectify things they've done, but never apologize (like neglecting to give us something that was owed to us, them fixing situation, but never saying "I'm sorry"). I'm a sucky reader, but I do enjoy listening to audiobooks while doing my data entry @work. Wondering if I should try to get his book on how to handle ANGER in a marriage also or how to have the Family you've always dreamt of. Me/BS:38(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:40; DS:13; DS:10; OW:33; OC:9 Together: 20yrs; Married: 16yrs D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2) D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000 D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008 Posts: 1204 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
inconnu Member Member # 24518	Posted: 12:31 PM, March 19th (Friday), 2010 After I read the Five Love Languages book, I picked up a handful of Chapman's other books. I liked them all, but some are a bit more religious than others, and I think the book on anger is one of those. Which may or may not be an issue, depending on your point of view. There's still good information in it, but I did have to filter quite a bit more for that book than I did for the Love Languages books. Live your dreams...the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Posts: 5339 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
repeatBS326 Member Member # 22068	Posted: 10:32 AM, April 2nd (Friday), 2010 Wow. I'm still listening to this audiobook. But, the 9th chapter on Forgiveness really touched some cords about our relationship. Like confronting person you believes needs to apologize to you & then confronting again, if they don't apologize...then, giving it to GOD...as you need for justice will cause anger in you, if you continue to dwell on the moral offense that someone "should" apologize for. It says it's okay to take time to forgive (people keep telling me to FORGIVE fWH for EA/PA#3 due to my anger issues)....this book finally gives me permission to muddle over it a while longer. Quite enjoyable. Hope I can use it as a tool to help me apologize & also to accept apologies (if given). Should I confront OW & seek an apology? Book implies such. Me/BS:38(former cybersex addict 1992); fWH:40; DS:13; DS:10; OW:33; OC:9 Together: 20yrs; Married: 16yrs D-day#1: Jan99, then FALSE R (subsequent conception of DS#2) D-day#2: Told about OW/WH pregnancy July2000 D-day#3 (same mOW): 19sep2008 Posts: 1204 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Attemping R #3
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