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I just returned from visiting my DS at college.

While I was there, he intentionally cut himself.

I'm so frightened for him.

My innocent child taking a knife to himself. His pain must be so intense to do this.

I don't know what to do for him.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

He has seen the college IC. I advised him to take a medical leave of absence (he is no longer going to class) and go into intensive IC.

He now tells me he will be staying at his frat until summer. Will not be giving any further info. He needs his "space" and his friends are making him feel better.

How in the world will I know that he is getting the help he needs????

Oh I am so sorry, it is such a scarey thing. He needs to get into IC asap. My dd started doing this right after ex left. Through counciling she realized why she was doing this.

It's my understanding they do it because it takes the pain away that they are feeling internaly.

I was told to always remind her of the dangers.....it is very dangerous. If I were you I'd go to IC as well so you know how to help him

So sorry you are going through this.

*hugs*

How scary! Do you know any of his friends that you can talk to and help keep tabs on him?

Have you spoken to his IC? If he's cutting himself and not going to class the IC might insist on hospitalization as well. It's not fun being in the hospital, but it's a lot better than some of the alternatives.

As scary as this is, I'm glad he's at least crying out for help. We had no warning at all with my brother. (he committed suicide in November) We will never really know what was wrong.

Oh, my, Kitty!

I am so sorry to hear of your brother!

(((kitty)))

TE,

I am SO sorry. I have a little experience w/this. DD did some very minor cutting a few years ago (actually, on my birthday ..... happye birthday to me ). Her IC determined that, in this case, it was attention seeking behavior. People with a serious cutting problem are VERY secretive about it. Not that this is good, but if he did it so you'd know about it, he probably is not a cutter.

Still, you are right to be scared and I know you want to help him.

Is he in IC? That's the first step for him. I just posted in OT about some difficulties I am having w/ my precious dd. I know how you feel. I wish I had some magic for you.

Wolf

Kitty, it breaks my heart about your brother.

[This message edited by WhiteWolfWinning at 9:50 AM, March 11th (Thursday)]

Definitely call his IC. He/she probably can't really tell you anything since your son is legally an adult. But at least they can be made aware of the situation. Also if you don't know any of his friends in the frat, call and see if you can talk to the house mom if they have one or whoever is in charge. Your son will probably get mad at you for invading on his life but better he get angry than something tragic happen. When he's well he will thank you.

People with a serious cutting problem are VERY secretive about it. Not that this is good, but if he did it so you'd know about it, he probably is not a cutter.

My son's IC said that there are two types of cutters: the secretive, who cut around ankles, or upper thighs; and the attention seekers, who cut on arms or in front of other people. Either way, cutting provides a release for them. Your son wants you to help him. While cutters are rarely suicidal, he could accidentally injure himself very badly.

(((tooexhausted))) My son says that he has quit cutting, and I just take it day by day.

My oldest dd did this while we were living with psychoX. She was 17 or so, I put her in IC, and they put her on depression meds for a year, plus she had to see the IC for at least 6 months on a weekly basis, and thereafter every 3 to 4 weeks. She did the cutting on her thighs, but she finally told me about it.

It is a cry for help. The pain from the cutting diverts them away from their emotional pain for a while. Just like alcohol and drugs. Sometimes they do not even feel any pain while cutting, just a release.

It is scary, but very few people actually have any serious repercussions from it, and does he put antibacterial on his cuts afterwards? If the cut is not deep and he treats the cuts, then the likelihood of physical problem is minimal (her IC told me this when we were going thru it, as I was freaking out.)

It is important to address the emotional pain though. He probably needs to see an IC on a regular basis for a while, to sort out his feelings and his emotions. He will also learn better coping mechanisms to deal with his emotions and feelings, thru therapy.

(((hugs)))) to you and your ds.

I agree - he needs IC. I also agree with kittycat - call the IC and tell them what you know. It might get him on the path to healing a bit quicker, you never know.

My brother also committed suicide (almost two years ago). We can guess why as he used drugs for most of his life, but it would only be a guess because he didn't talk to us anymore. Like kittycat said, your boy is crying for help and you are fortunate to have the opportunity to help. Help your boy any way you can.

Hugs,

WB

Update:

I just spoke with the counseling dept at the university and they were extremely helpful. Obviously, there are confidentiality issues which they respected.

He IS an adult but his judgement is impaired. Trying to figure out what to do is so difficult.

Thank you for your help.

Please use your thread on General.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=345419