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User Topic: BS Questions for WS's IV
UnexpectedSong
♀ Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, March 15th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Patriot -

Do I say to her that's it, I'm filling?

Only say it if you mean it.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. This may be an exit affair for her, or it may just be madness. It is not fair to you. But, you cannot control her into ending her affair. All you can do is make yourself healthier.

A good way to wake her up is to file first, then tell her.


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6046 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
HeCheats
♀ Member
Member # 27278
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, March 15th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you BaxtersBFF. I appreciate your response. You are right. I may not be interested by that point. HC


A lying, cheating husband that leaves is God's way of saving a good woman from a complete asshole while she still has time to live her life!!! - A wise SIer

Me-BW 43
Him-WZ (that's Zombie)51
DD23, DS16
Dday 1 10/28/09
Dday 2 11/5/09


Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2010
nothereorthere
♀ Member
Member # 20530
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, March 15th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been over four years now since my FWH had his A, yet today he made me question why I stayed. Today it hit me out of the blue that he was on a site alot right around the time he had his A. So rather then wonder about it, I asked him if he had looked her up on that particular site. He gave me three different answers. When I asked him which answer was the truth, he finally said that yes he did look her up on that site and asked me why do I want to know. I then asked him why, after four years, he would lie to me when I ask him a question about the A. His response was that he wasn't sure what I would say if he told me the truth. I reminded him that he lied for six months about the A when it happened before being honest with me and how he knows how much that set us back. Now, he has made me wonder what else he has been lieing about all this time if he still lies to me four years later when I ask him a questiion about the A. Could someone please shed some light on this.

[This message edited by nothereorthere at 3:11 PM, March 15th (Monday)]


Posts: 81 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nothereorthere,

Everytime you reach back and try to pull information out about his A, it re-triggers you and re-triggers him. You spiral all the way back to D-Day!

He doesn't like how it feels. He knows he will pay a price no matter what. He is trying to decide how high of a price he's willing to pay before he answers. Each answer is going to cost him more! You are already showing us your true feelings of, "he made me question why I stayed". Do you tell him this same thing? Do you somehow think he is not aware that you question why you stayed?

I'm guessing that he doesn't fell safe telling you information about the A. He will be punished again with each disclosure of information. At the very least he knows you will withdraw from him and the marriage. He's willing to withhold information if he can prevent this again.

I know this is pitiful behavior on the part of your H, but it's typical!

My suggestion is that you stop asking questions about the A. It's been nearly 4 years. This Q&A is killing the love you both are trying to restore.

If you somehow feel he is still involved in his A then questions would be appropriate. But, if not, then you need to protect each other from the memories of this thoughtless behavior of his from 4 years ago. The way to protect each other from this is to never bring it up again. At this point you need to make your focus about restoring marital love today and tomorrow. And you won't do that by re-hashing the past

I would recommend a book by Dr. Willard Harley called, "Fall In Love, Stay In Love". He discusses "Care" and "Protection" even after suffering infidelity, in a beautiful way.


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
nothereorthere
♀ Member
Member # 20530
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Card,

Thanks for your reply. He always texts me and tells me he's on his way back,(he's a truck driver)but this time he told me he was heading to his last stop and four hours later I still hadn't heard anything from him. Yes, I know it's been over four years, but this is the way he chose to do things for reassurance since the A. His A happened while he was working, so you can see how this would still trigger me.
Yes, even after four years. It can be difficult when your FWH is a truck driver and out on the road. I'm sure you get the picture. There is no time limit on triggers. When I said "he made me question why I stayed", I realize now what I really felt. I wondered if he was cheating on me and if I did the wrong thing by staying. I don't believe he is, but when he lied it naturally put doubts there for me. As for letting it go and moving on, I have. It's been a very long time since I've asked him anything about the A. Even he said, he thought things was going well for a very long time. But, he is the one who said in therapy that he would rather I always tell him when it bothers me then to let it build up. Usually, I can handle it quickly on my own and it passes. This time I felt the need to ask him, which happens rarely anymore. He asks me things because he's afraid
I'll do it back to him & I simply answer him. So, yes I do expect him to be honest with me when I rarely ask him something that has to do with the A. It does help me to hear you say that it is "typical behavior". It sucks, but I know what you mean. Does other WS's on here feel that it is "typical behavior"?


Posts: 81 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
UnexpectedSong
♀ Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nothereorthere -

Does other WS's on here feel that it is "typical behavior"?

I don't know if it's typical... but I always get nervous when talking about the A. I always have a little bit of panic that I squash down. Maybe I'm more successful at squashing and your H is not. I don't know. Of course, I'm only a year+ out and I tell my H what goes on in therapy, so my H very seldom has questions. But still, even when I bring up therapy, I have that bit of panic.

Everything about an A sucks.

[This message edited by UnexpectedSong at 2:31 PM, March 16th (Tuesday)]


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6046 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

painpaingoaway,

How, Why??

The reason is very simple and is the same no matter who the WS is.

We did not have boundaries in place to protect our marriage from intruders. Or we moved our boundaries because the attention we were getting from OW/OM felt good and we didn't want it to stop.

It really is THAT simple.

Boundaries are what keep us where we belong. Once they are removed, we tread in dangerous waters, often drown, and drown those who love us.

There isn't some deep, dark childhood issue or personality disorder that caused us to have an affair.

Affairs happen because one spouse becomes selfish and self-centered enough to want what feels good at the moment MORE THAN they want to protect their spouse from pain.

Waywards are Extremely Thoughtless!


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nothereorthere,

So, yes I do expect him to be honest with me when I rarely ask him something that has to do with the A

You should expect him to be honest no matter what!

From your reply, I see your concerns. You mentioned he was supposed to call you..... and it took 4 hrs for him to check in. This is not acceptable. Part of the conditions/agreement that allowed you to remain willing to stay in the marriage is not being kept by your H.

He needs to remain forever willing to check in, return calls immediately, reassure, and give you reasons to trust him. He fell short! Then lied! You triggered!

H needs to have extraordinary precautions in place that will allow you to trust him. As I learned, I need to create an environment that allows my wife to trust me. If I fail to do this, she will remain rigthfully, forever in doubt.

Please remember, his actions may be typically thoughtless, but it's not acceptable!


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
raindrops
♀ Member
Member # 27774
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH tried to break the A so he said.. a lot of times...but the OW tried everything she could to continue...She Tried in so many ways to prevent this and did a lot of crazy things, even going to the hospital in an ambulance 3 times when She knew he was w me at home...

We are 4 yrs out and now is when I feel that he is totally open...

He said that after DDay he tried to break it off w her for so long but She always found a way to drag him in w threats (She contacted me several times when She didn't get her way ).

He said that His fear was her calling me instead and hurting me more, that all they did was fight and argue and he wanted to stop it but She wouldn't let go...

I don't know, wouldn't you want to get away from something like this? Its hard for me to wrap around my head on this one...


DDAY Jan 06
Everyday is a New day...living it to the fullest
In R (a lot of work)

Posts: 122 | Registered: Feb 2010
the fsc
♂ Member
Member # 23028
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, March 16th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

raindrops,

I don't know, wouldn't you want to get away from something like this? Its hard for me to wrap around my head on this one...

I had a nutjob OW. After DDay I looked over my shoulder a lot. I half expected her to show up at my place of work some-day to make a scene. She called and left...let's just say "angry" messages, and she actually drove 2 hours to show up at my grad school after work hoping that she could somehow convince me in person that I was making a mistake by not leaving my W. I half expected her to show up at my house and have it out with my W.

Bottom line...I wanted nothing to do with that dumb bitch after DDay.

As for you FWH, either he was hiding something that he was afraid she would reveal to you, or he still had feelings for OW to carry on for so long. He stated that all they did was fight and argue. Why the hell would a crazy OW want a relationship where all they do is fight and argue?

Not sure how long the A was for you...but maybe right after DDay he still wasn't sure what he wanted?


WH - (45) Me
BS - (44) Her (Redrock)

D Day 3/23/2008
Easter


Posts: 165 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Michigan
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Card - thank you for an explanation that makes sense to me. (Not saying other people's explanations were faulty - just didnt make sense in my situation).
My follow up question: if it was really that simple - that it felt good & the ws just isnt strong enough (not sure if that is accurate) to stop it - how do you, as a ws, stop yourself from doing it again. I assume the further out from DDay one is, the less present it is in one's daily thoughts (as a BS I certainly hope this is true...), so how do you not succumb to this when the opportunity presents? (Other than physically trying not to put yourself in such a situation in the first place)? How do you make that change?


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious to know how WS dealt with their families' and friends' knowledge of their infidelity. If you R'd or not even.

Did fam/friends have a 'Well, you need to do what makes you happy' mentality? Were they mad/ saddened by the actions? Did they call you out on it?

Just curious as I know this came up in the last week on other forums, I even wondered myself in a post.


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgoodnamesgone,

My follow up question: if it was really that simple - that it felt good & the ws just isnt strong enough (not sure if that is accurate) to stop it - how do you, as a ws, stop yourself from doing it again. I assume the further out from DDay one is, the less present it is in one's daily thoughts (as a BS I certainly hope this is true...), so how do you not succumb to this when the opportunity presents? (Other than physically trying not to put yourself in such a situation in the first place)? How do you make that change?


When we plant a garden, it is necessary to tend that garden if we are depending on what we harvest from it to survive. We build fences, we plant seeds, we water and nourish the seeds, we pull the weeds and in the end enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Without boundaries/fences, enemy's of ours will come into our garden and take what doesn't belong to them. We may even allow a neighbor to take from the garden, but if we do not give them limits/boundaries they may freely take more than we can afford to give.

When infidelity occurs, it is because we have allowed someone into the marital garden. We have either left holes in the fences or never put up any fences to begin with. If we intend to replant the marital garden and have any harvest in the future it will require extraordinary efforts.... because the garden is in ruins.

What steps would we take;

We immediately build fences (boundaries, NC)

We would till the garden/prepare the soil (radical honesty, timelines, etc.)

We would purchase new seeds (Marital recovery program)

We would plant these seeds (taking the steps to rebuild love)

We would tend the garden and the fences (extraordinary precations to prevent any intrusions into our M)

We would water the garden (transparency, offering care and protection)

We would pull the weeds/recognising the weeds from the sprouts (eliminating the behaviors that drain our love for each other)

We would stake the plants as they grow (building a marriage friendly support system to come beside us and help us as needed)

We would watch for insects, pests, and rodents as the fruits of our labors appear on the vines (we recognise & detach from nay sayers that nibble away at the fruit)

We would harvest the garden and enjoy some of the fruits (spending at least 15 hours of undivided attention with your spouse while meeting each others most important emotional needs)

We would tend to the soil and the fences understanding that this process must continue for the duration of your life if you intend to harvest from the marital garden each year.

[This message edited by Card at 9:16 AM, March 17th (Wednesday)]


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wannabenormal,

While wayward, my wife exposed my A to EVERYONE!

I was furious and painted her as a scorned woman, vengeful and hateful.

Many said, they just wanted me to be happy.. (barf)

Some called me out on my cruel behavior.. (they have my utmost respect today)

Some didn't know what to do, so they prayed. (they were silent warriors)


When I returned home, I made a list of all these people. In the first two weeks back, I went to each one of them and made ammends. I put the record straight and helped my family and friends see how much my wife loved me and fought for me. It was one of the most humbling things I've ever done.

Most of these people have come along side of my wife to support her. They know the truth of my A and the truth of all my lies.

The ones that "just wanted me to be happy", have disappeared from our lives. We have very little to do with them. They were not friends of our marriage then, so we do not consider them to be friends of our marriage now. They made a choice as well!


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Card. I'm almost surprised there were several that were verbally not okay with your actions. That's nice to see!


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
UnexpectedSong
♀ Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wannabenormal -

Did fam/friends have a 'Well, you need to do what makes you happy' mentality? Were they mad/ saddened by the actions? Did they call you out on it?

Family does not know.

I told my best friends during the affair and they all called me out on it. I have marvelous friends. My best friend that I talked to a lot kept telling me to stop. She told me not to have sex w/ the AP. She kept yelling at me "when are you going to stop dissin' your husband?". She also said, I will always be your friend, even if you do have sex w/ the AP. And in the same breath, but don't.

My friends basically told me to grow up. I have NO friends who told me that I just needed to "be happy"... They did suggest divorce if I was unhappy, but no one supported an affair.

My H called that first best friend to get info after DDay. I am very grateful for her.


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6046 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
Star727
♀ Member
Member # 22026
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, March 17th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Affairs happen because one spouse becomes selfish and self-centered enough to want what feels good at the moment MORE THAN they want to protect their spouse from pain.

I agree. They have affairs because THEY CAN. As a BS, I never monitored my WS's whereabouts and because I didnt, he did what he wanted. Now, years later, he's caught having an affair and feels like I'm trapping him in the house because I no longer trust him. I'm not really making him stay at home, he put himself on "house arrest" because he saw me slipping away from him and he didnt want a divorce.


Me 55, H 60, Married 25 yrs
2 Kids, 19 & 24
H had long term EA with coworker.


"It ain't about love anymore."


Posts: 765 | Registered: Dec 2008
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, March 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big problems here - please let me know your thoughts:
Long story short, a month into R I found the ow gave my H a secret cell phone. When I found out about it he tells me gave it back the same day. He claims he has maintained nc ever since, doesnt miss her or doesnt think about her unless I bring it up. In January, however, I found he lied to me as to his whereabouts & went to a work function (which would be a trigger for me as they were coworkers & even though she no longer works at his location, she is still friends with people at his job). I went nuts, but decided to continue to R - he confessed to lying to me "for years" when he wanted to go out because he just didnt want to hear it from me. (I was feeling resentful as I was managing work, home & 4 kids while he socialized). A month after that I find that he lied about his whereabout again. This time he claims to have been at a bar alone (he says he's friends with the bartender - which is possible) when he told me he was going to rest between shifts. I went nuts - I insisted he see ic/mc, which he has done.
Our relationship is better, but I cant shake the feeling that he's not 100% happy or committed to the relationship. He is aware that I feel this way. Anyway, I found it more a& more difficult to fully reconcile because I felt like it's just as possible that the A is over as it is not over. So, to preserve my mental stability (& to improve my ability to really reconcile) I bought a var & put it in his car so I could figure out if he's still with ow. Well, he found it right away, threw it out the window of his car & stayed at a friend's house last night.
I tried to explain to him that he has done one thing after the next to erode my trust & I really couldn't continue to be in the dark as to whether or not his A is really over. He's still angry & doesnt seem to have anything to say to me - tho he says he wants to be with me - but he doesnt know what to do.
He says he feels like he's in jail, with the constant monitoring. I told him I wouldnt try to record his conversations again & I'd take out the tracking device (he already knew about that & its useless now anyway). He says how do I know I'm not being monitored at home or that you won't start to increase surveillance in the future. I promised him I wouldn't & he could check my receipts, credit card purchases whenever he wanted. He has no interest in doing that.
I realize I violated his privacy - I dont want to listen in on his calls - I just wanted to hear if he was still talking to her or if she was in his car. I added that as far as a violation of rights goes - his complaint is really insignificant compared to the manner in which I was violated over & over again. He doesnt argue that point. I told him to take his time & decide what he really wants.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, March 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgoodnamesgone,

Long story short, a month into R I found the ow gave my H a secret cell phone. When I found out about it he tells me gave it back the same day. He claims he has maintained nc ever since, doesnt miss her or doesnt think about her unless I bring it up.

Let's start here. When he say's, "he dosen't think about OW unless you bring it up".... He is gaslighting you! He is really manipulating you. He "is" thinking about OW and just doesn't want to discuss things with you. My bet is that he is a master at gaslighting and manipulation. If you look over your history together it is probably riddled with comments like this.

In January, however, I found he lied to me as to his whereabouts & went to a work function (which would be a trigger for me as they were coworkers & even though she no longer works at his location, she is still friends with people at his job). I went nuts, but decided to continue to R - he confessed to lying to me "for years" when he wanted to go out because he just didnt want to hear it from me. (I was feeling resentful as I was managing work, home & 4 kids while he socialized).

What did he gain by sharing this moment of clarity? He again tells you what he does is YOUR fault because if he were honest with you..... he would hear about it! .... His excuse for lying to you is.... again and again, "you wouldn't approve of what he's doing"! So this is somehow your fault that he needs to lie. See how manipulative he's being? He's wants YOU to feel guilty that he must lie in order to cheat.... How clever is that? He is a master at this blameshifting.

A month after that I find that he lied about his whereabout again. This time he claims to have been at a bar alone (he says he's friends with the bartender - which is possible) when he told me he was going to rest between shifts. I went nuts - I insisted he see ic/mc, which he has done.

Went to counseling because this time he was busted! Not following thru on counseling work or you wouldn't be having these conflicts.

Our relationship is better, but I cant shake the feeling that he's not 100% happy or committed to the relationship. He is aware that I feel this way. Anyway, I found it more a& more difficult to fully reconcile because I felt like it's just as possible that the A is over as it is not over.

Why do you think that is? Has he lived transparently? Has he stopped keeping secrets? My guess is that your discernment is becoming better and his gaslighting and manipulaton is ramping up as well.


So, to preserve my mental stability (& to improve my ability to really reconcile) I bought a var & put it in his car so I could figure out if he's still with ow. Well, he found it right away, threw it out the window of his car & stayed at a friend's house last night.

He's punishing you. How dare you NOT trust him after everything he's agreed to do. I'm not coming home, let's see how you like that. And if you don't change your ways I may not come home at all! He is challenging the new world order and if you don't rise up to meet this challenge you are in for just more of the same!

I tried to explain to him that he has done one thing after the next to erode my trust & I really couldn't continue to be in the dark as to whether or not his A is really over. He's still angry & doesnt seem to have anything to say to me - tho he says he wants to be with me - but he doesnt know what to do.
He says he feels like he's in jail, with the constant monitoring. I told him I wouldnt try to record his conversations again & I'd take out the tracking device (he already knew about that & its useless now anyway). He says how do I know I'm not being monitored at home or that you won't start to increase surveillance in the future. I promised him I wouldn't & he could check my receipts, credit card purchases whenever he wanted. He has no interest in doing that.
I realize I violated his privacy - I dont want to listen in on his calls - I just wanted to hear if he was still talking to her or if she was in his car. I added that as far as a violation of rights goes - his complaint is really insignificant compared to the manner in which I was violated over & over again. He doesnt argue that point. I told him to take his time & decide what he really wants.

You did nothing wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! See how he is twisting the guilt to make all of this your fault again? This is a master at work. A master at manipulation and head games.

He can have all the privacy he wants when he uses the restroom....... other than that he is really saying, "I'm ENTITLED to live my life and have MY space. He believes YOU can't live without him. He thinks he has you over the barrell. The question I have for you... Does He have you living in fear??

My suggestion, if It's a jail! ----------- Well give him HIS freedom! ------------- When I said this same thing to my wife, she packed my shit and told me to come get it all or the Salvation Army was going to pick it up tomorrow.

[This message edited by Card at 9:04 AM, March 18th (Thursday)]


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, March 18th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allgoodnamesgone,

In case you're wondering....

My wife was a stay at home mom with more children than you have!

She had finally had enough with just more of the same gaslighting over and over again. She trusted her instincts.... and she was right! I had been lying all along!


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
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