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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: A Healthy You! Weight Support Group
truthsetmefree
♀ Member
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok...I'm in. Brutal self honesty. I haven't just "gained some weight"...I'm overweight.

Hubby explained this past week that "at least I'm not like some spouses that would be crabbing about this. I still love you just as much."

That pretty much did it for me. While it seems great to have a spouse that still loves me, it also be very difficult because he can give me a false sense of how I appear and that's part of the reason this weight has snuck up on me. (Not to mention the candy and ice cream treats he buys *for me*...sometimes I think he *wants* me overweight - kinda a form of sabatoging...but that's a different ICR thread. )

5'4" and now 170 lbs.

(Did I really just admit that?) I have told no one...and it's reached such a point that no one even really talks about weight around me anymore. Now when I casually mention I need to lose weight, my family members just kinda give me a sad little smile...like they really don't even know what to say.

I'm 45lbs over where I would like to be...and a good 30 from where I *need* to be. That much *has* to come off.

But quite frankly, I'm scared. For the first time in my life, this feels like a really difficult task. I've always had to watch...at times I have had to lose. But never like this. - And the even scarier part is the rate at which this weight has come ON. It's so fast that it's like a train that I fear I can't stop...but at the same time I can't bear the thought of what it will be like if I don't do *something*. In a weird sort of way, I feel like if I don't turn it around now, I won't ever be able to turn it around.

The hardest part is I literally don't recognize myself - not on the outside and now no longer on the inside. It's a sense that I am no longer in the right body...that *I* have somehow been displaced.

I started EA Active on the wii today.

It kicked my ass.

No...I mean the 20 minute workout kicked...my...ass. I literally thought I was going to vomit...and that makes me want to cry. Right now it feels insurmountable. I try to remind myself that it will come back...I've had to recondition on many occasions as I have a history of stopping and starting again. It's just so humiliating and humbling to drag myself back in to the gym at ground zero again.

I'm fighting some other obstacles this time...low thyroid (thought that was going to be a miracle answer some months ago - but no) and now also low cortisol (taking low support dose). I'm a bit nervous about how that's going to affect everything...like I'm going to go from Miss Piggy to Schwarzenegger.

Anyway...
Plan is to workout six days each week...alternating cardio and weights; cut fat and simple carbs; get more scheduled sleep habits. I'm shooting for a 12 week commitment...to really give it my all for 12 weeks and then evaluate where I am.

I think this is the final thing for me in overcoming all this infidelity crap...something that I really need to do not just for my health but for my own internal well-being. Ever since dday (yes...almost five years ago) I have been sitting on the sidelines in so much of my life - and I'm so tired of doing that. I've lost so much...but I have also been givng so much away.

No more.

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 12:48 PM, January 13th (Wednesday)]


When you become willing to give up the idea of the fairy tale prince, you no longer have to kiss frogs - or eat poison apples...or be locked away in castles...or even be home by midnight.

Posts: 7650 | Registered: May 2005
skylers_mom
♀ Member
Member # 8960
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tsmf - it seems that the 45lbs is the "magic" # for many of us here. I also never had to lose THIS MUCH in the past - maybe 15 or 20 tops, but I see that after having kids this whole weight control thing becomes a very different ball game. I don't even have any fitness goals, just want to be thinner, and I know I cannot diet (i.e. restrict my calorie intake) severely enough to do it without exercise. What you're aiming for sounds fantastic to me. Best of luck.


A billion flies can't be wrong - shit tastes good!

Posts: 2366 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Midatlantic
luv80smusic
♀ Member
Member # 17248
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tsmf - I too am 5'4" and weighed in at 171.6 this morning.

See, you are not alone. I had been about 160 for years, did ww and went down to 145, stopped and gained it all back plus. I am hoping to get to 150 even though I know 140 would be healthier. I just don't think I can maintain 140.

I have been sitting on the sidelines in so much of my life - and I'm so tired of doing that.

Amen to that! We can do it!


Betrayed wife
D Day 9/7/07
Reconciled yes 100% trust no

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.


Posts: 622 | Registered: Dec 2007
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't think I can maintain 140.

Why?


-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9144 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
KInUSA
♀ Member
Member # 19503
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

me too!!!! am also 5 ft 4 and today was 170. The lowest I have been that I can remember is about 4 years ago before I got preg with DD - I got down to 158 through WW but yeah that never stuck long....

I would just be happy with 150 for my initial goal and then to go from there.

sadly I am now off to get chinese for dinner and you no that is NOT healthy LOL

I know what to do, I know I can do it, so why don't I? it is not like I love the way I look, I hate having high cholesterol what needs to happen to me before I do what I know I need to do?


DDay 4 November 2009
DDay #2 14 December 2010


Posts: 499 | Registered: May 2008 | From: far far from home
luv80smusic
♀ Member
Member # 17248
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, January 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thyme to go - because when I was 21 years old I lived at the gym and watched my diet closely. I looked great and weighed in at 130. It was a ton of work. No one in my family is thin. Now that I am 40 and have had a child, I really don't think my body can get down that low. Maybe I am wrong? When I went on ww and weighed 145 it wasn't for very long and I was hungry! I know myself. I know I cannot work out everyday. I am aiming for at least 3 days a week. I know I cannot eat well everyday. I am not looking for excuses, I just know my limits. I want to be realistic and not set an unachievable goal. When I get to 150 (and I said when, not if ) I will re-evaluate and decide if I can go lower.

luv80smusic


Betrayed wife
D Day 9/7/07
Reconciled yes 100% trust no

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.


Posts: 622 | Registered: Dec 2007
Maxiom
♂ Member
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, January 14th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

L80M,

This is really tricky. I am just about to offcially pass 70 pounds down and I have about another 10-15 to go. I know I will be able to hold that off, even though I am not as active as I once was.

The reason, I am losing weight AND I am not hungry. At all.

The trick for me was finding foods within my daily caloric allowance that filled me up.

Drinking lots of water helps maintain metabolism and does help with hunger.

Foods like Tomatoes, apples, and fruits and vegetables in general fill you up while passing on so few caloires.

Keep in mind that you must eat 3500 calories OVER what you burn to gain 1 pound.

For a moderately active woman you burn 2000 calories a day.

I'm a 6" ~200 pound very active guy who is full on 1700 calories in a day.

You can do it. It just about finding the right balance of foods.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 435 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, January 14th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeeeyyyyyyy Maxiom!!!!!! What a great fete! I agree with you...fill yourself up with calorie dense foods. That's what Im trying to do. NOt easy. I have to actually think myself thorugh it. I had a sugar craving today. I went to the coffee place and got...tea (don't do sugar or milk in my tea).

My problem is excersizing. This past week, when Ive woken, my body feels sooo incredibly stiff and heavy. I can't move. Im thinking its the chronic fatige rearing it's ugly head, but why? Im not stressed (well, Im ALWAYS stressed, but on MY scale, Im like at a 3, which is nothing).

Im sooo thrilled for your loss.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not

Posts: 8210 | Registered: Sep 2007
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, January 14th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the last posts and I also think, (I'm not sure) that once you get to a certain weight and stay there for a few months, your body seems to adapt and it IS easier to stay there.

My personal achievement is that my gym membership is active again and I have gone for 5 out of 7 days. I don't do anything crazy, just walking 25-30 min. and light weights/core exercises, but I'm back after my first D-day in 2008, when I just STOPPED what had been a 10 year habit (I have osteoporosis and NEED to work out) I WILL continue!


Me-BS-59
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 2921 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
JoePike
♂ Member
Member # 13207
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sullymeishadomi:

My problem is excersizing. This past week, when Ive woken, my body feels sooo incredibly stiff and heavy. I can't move. Im thinking its the chronic fatige rearing it's ugly head, but why? Im not stressed (well, Im ALWAYS stressed, but on MY scale, Im like at a 3, which is nothing).

In the beginning it's a vicious circle. It's difficult to get the energy to exercise as you feel tired. However, the exercise will actually boost your energy as it will increase your metabolism, lower your weight, increase the oxygenation of your blood and in general do heaps of good things in your body.

No...I mean the 20 minute workout kicked...my...ass. I literally thought I was going to vomit...and that makes me want to cry. Right now it feels insurmountable.

Truth, next time you do it you'll notice that it won't kick your ass as bad. And in only a few sessions you'll feel that you can increase it to 25 mins.

Changing a lifestyle is not easy, but it will bring a much more maintainable change than rapid and massive changes over a short period.


"Do or do not. There is no Try" - Yoda.

"The term “mistake” infers a level of ignorance, innocence and naivety. And a lack of intent and planning." - Craig Harper


Posts: 3952 | Registered: Jan 2007
truthsetmefree
♀ Member
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to check back in...I really like this sense of accountability.

I have worked out for the past two days. I did the cardio (the wii) the first day (and surpisingly, that's the areas I am still the most sore!) Then yesterday I did my upper body strength training. I've used machines before but it was the first time I have used the free weights and I am so happy to report that I LOVED it. I actually enjoyed the workout. I can't say I have ever enjoyed a work-out but yesterday was just so great. It was like I could feel the strength of my body...and I was also keenly aware that I was doing something to *heal* myself, change my life.

For those of you that are intimitaded of the gym, so was I - even though I had been there many times. It's just the getting started back. **I already feel SO much better.** Just with the one trip I feel better. Going was a HUGE motivator...so GO.

skylers mom ~ don't you just *hate* that baby fat? It really changes our whole bodies. I've also found that turning forty has not necessarily been kind either. I had someone warn me about that - that my metabolism would really change - but I just didn't really believe. - I believe it now!

Why do you not want to exercise? At the minimum I would encourage strength training. Without it, you will primarily lose muscle when dieting - and that will make it really hard to get and keep it off.

love80s & Kln ~ Thanks for sharing with me. That makes me feel better. While I have weighed much less in the past (usually around 125 -130), I had hit a plateau at 140. I was not necessarily happy with that...always said I needed to lose a few pounds but was also content to let those few pounds sit. - And then the weight suddenly began to come on...and it just kept coming. I've pretty much just been wringing my hands, wondering what had happened and what to do. Like you, I also felt a bit frustrated because it seemed like no matter how much weight I have ever managed to get off, I could never really KEEP it off long-term. It had reached a point that the discouragement - even at the beginning of starting - was not a dread of getting it off. It was knowing how hard it would be to keep it off. That was what began to seem futile.

I've been doing some research on strength training...something I have never really done before. My work-outs had always primarily consisted of cardio and just "toning" on the weight machines (which was never really taxing) because I was so afraid of bulking up. And while I could manage to keep the weight down, I also was spending 45+ minutes on the cardio machines 5 days a week. I ***hated*** it...and still wasn't getting the body that I really wanted. I literally felt that if I missed ONE DAY at the gym that I would slide months back. That's not speaking to my level of commitment...that's speaking to the desperation that I felt in this battle. I have found that when it comes to getting back into the gym, THIS is what has been causing me dread. It can almost feel futile.

I recently read a book called "Body for Life". It's not a new book...and evidently not a new concept. But it really changed the way I view this whole diet/exercise process...and I now feel really motivated that I can make some true, life-time changes. It no longer seems about indefinitely increasing your cardio time and starving yourself to death along the way. You might want to check into it. I'm also hoping that others here will maybe also be able to contribute.

maxiom ~ Wow! Congratulations!! I know that must be a wonderful feeling.

sully ~ I hear you about the soreness. I'm trying to approach it with a different attitude than what I normally do. I'm using it as a reminder that I am doing something good for myself...that I am taking proactive steps to really heal myself. It's kinda my finger to this whole infidelity crap.

While I haven't been diagnosed with chronic fatigue, I probably could have been. I'm on the low dose steroids because my adrenals were exhausted. It's wonderful to have energy again...but I do worry about how this is going to affect all of that. I have read that exercising can actually increase cortisol...can actually help you overcome the fatigue. But it is a bit frightening when you have had that "fight to even get out of bed" exhaustion and finally gotten beyond it....you do fear triggering that will send you back into it.

Joe ~ thank you for the encouragement. I was SO down when I posted. It just didn't seem like the WII should be able to kick my butt. I think that's what was getting me more than anything. But I have to say...it must have been a decent first workout because I am more sore now having first started back than I ever was when on the elliptical.

So glad to be sharing this journey with you all!


When you become willing to give up the idea of the fairy tale prince, you no longer have to kiss frogs - or eat poison apples...or be locked away in castles...or even be home by midnight.

Posts: 7650 | Registered: May 2005
trying to smile
♀ Member
Member # 9683
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

have to get back on the wii myself. Can't afford a gym.

I've actually noticed changes just by restricting my alcohol intake (weekends only and a couple of drinks only) and cutting out the crap I was eating.


Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do, or do not. There is no try.
Yoda

Posts: 5921 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: The Land Down Under
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A good friend started Medifast a week ago. Results? He lost 11 pounds the first week. He is/was a big eater so I was not surprised. Comparatively I lost 9.2 pounds the first week.

My mom will be at one week tomorrow - I will post how she does. She needs to lose close to 60 pounds.

Good job, all!

-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9144 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
karmasnmf
♀ Member
Member # 12370
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, January 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to share a website that I like:

www.womenshealthmag.com



Posts: 2603 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: New York
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, January 16th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally bummed out. I weighed myself last monday. 223. Okay, not happy, but I'll deal with it. The numbers will go down. I watch my food intake. I watch the quality of the food. No sweets. Very little processed food (half a whole wheat english muffin in the a.m. with an egg and 2 pieces of turkey bacon or something like that).

Friday I weigh myself. I went UP 6 lbs. WHAT?! Did I accidentally read the scale wrong on Monday? Was I really 233lbs? No way I went up 6 lbs. So am waiting to see Monday what are the results.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not

Posts: 8210 | Registered: Sep 2007
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Checking in. 165. Same as last week. Down 58 lbs, 12 lbs to go.

I'm not calling it a plateau, all though I've been eating at maintenance, not loss levels this week. I will buckle down for four days or so and see what I get.

kk


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1004 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
KInUSA
♀ Member
Member # 19503
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, January 17th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I joined sparkpeople.com yesterday and today spent the day tracking everything I ate - and spent the whole day sitting in the bathroom as it has been a while since I consumed 8 glasses of water...

I did manage a short run but what I am enjoying now is reading through the many success stories of people who had lost more than what I have to lose. I think I will have to read them everyday to keep my motivation levels up.

LOL off to the bathroom


DDay 4 November 2009
DDay #2 14 December 2010


Posts: 499 | Registered: May 2008 | From: far far from home
truthsetmefree
♀ Member
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sullyme ~ Going up in weight is actually quite common in the early weeks. It's one of the reasons that watching the scale can be discouraging. Just stay committed to the process...keep focusing on the end goal. It WILL happen.

kk ~ You've lost A LOT of weight...and you are so close to your goal. That has to be a wonderful feeling!

Kln - I so hear you on the water thing. It's almost embarrassing. I've had to leave several venues (church, mechanics, etc.) for the BR run. But I can already tell a huge difference...it's nice to know that I am helping to remove the all those toxins I am kicking up with a changed diet and new exercise.

Checking in for the week....Weren't we going to do that on Tuesdays?

I've made my schedule/goal for this week - 6 days at the gym. I'm already starting to feel stronger on the outside...and the change INSIDE is even better. I've also lost two pounds according to the scale - but that's just bonus to the rest.

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 12:19 PM, January 19th (Tuesday)]


When you become willing to give up the idea of the fairy tale prince, you no longer have to kiss frogs - or eat poison apples...or be locked away in castles...or even be home by midnight.

Posts: 7650 | Registered: May 2005
survivinglies
Member
Member # 19376
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, January 19th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am hearing people worrying about maintaining once they've reached their goal. Remember to build muscle AND burn calories! The more muscle you have the higher your metabolism. This means the more muscle you have the more calories you burn- even at rest! Keep it up!

I'm doing the Insanity DVD's from Beachbody (the PX90 people). Holy kicking my butt!!!


BS (me)
WS (him)- ONS 1995, 3 month EA 0708
Married: 18, Together: 20, DS & DD
"Onlies" until ONS
95-98 trickle-"we didn't have sex"
D-day #1 (1/23/2008- EA OW#2)
D-day #2 (5/1/2008- ONS OW#1)
Isaiah 40:31

Posts: 1397 | Registered: May 2008 | From: U.S., just a few miles south of insanity
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, January 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Medifast fifth week weigh in today -- down another 2.4#'s. Total lost through five weeks = 22.4#'s


-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9144 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
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